Bitter Dark Chocolate

(Party's Bar.  Vivi is hog-tied and gagged in the corner, Zoro is upstairs in the Mysterious Bathroom, Luffy has dropped into a coma after watching Disney movies, and Shanks is enjoying a Makino-drink.  Usopp enters, dejected.)

Usopp:  No reindeer games for poor Usopp…

(He walks by everyone and heads for the stairs.)

Makino:  Where do you think you're going?

Usopp:  I'm going to sleep.  We've been in this spamfic for about how many episodes…and none of us have slept.  I am going to be the first person to fall asleep in this spamfic.

Ben:  Luffy beat you to it.

Usopp (despondent): Really?

Shanks (nurses his guilt-bought double):  I thought you were talking with Chopper in the scene before last.

Usopp:  Yeah, I was, but he went to the mall to look for a part-time job as Santa's helper.  He said it pays more than being a pirate.

Ben (dryly): And it conveniently rids the author of another character.

Usopp (eyes go wide): You think she's trying to get rid of us?

Shanks:  Get rid of us, send us to sleep, whatever. 

Makino:  Which reminds me - have you seen Nami and Sanji?

(Somewhere else.  Camera Girl lounges against a wall in dark alley, smoking a cigarette.  She exhales slowly and ashes on the ground.)

Camera Girl (muses): Hmm, what shall I do with my life?  What shall I do?

(A breathless Nami rushes by the alley entrance, then returns as she realizes that she saw someone in the alley.  Nami, for some reason, has a giant butterfly net.)

Nami:  Hey!  Have you seen a French cook come by here?

Camera Girl: Do you mean French nationality or French cooking?

Nami: He looks German.

Camera Girl: Sorry.

(Nami stamps her foot in frustration and runs off again.  After a significant pause, Sanji peeks out of a convenient metal garbage can.)

Sanji:  Thank you so much.  What can I do to repay you?

Camera Girl: Think you can get Zoro naked for me?

Sanji: How about me instead?

Camera Girl: Er, no, I need a life goal.  A challenge that is. 

Sanji: I could be a - nope, you're right.  I'm no challenge.  Okay, let's go find Zoro then.

Camera Girl: Seriously? 

Sanji (smirks): Oh yeah.  Like the author, I have a fetish that involves torturing Zoro and/or putting him in humiliating situations.

Obsessed Zoro Girl (throws cigarette on ground): Right.  Let's go.

(Party's Bar.  Usopp is asleep on a futon in the corner.  Makino comes downstairs, hauling another futon set.  Shanks and Ben watch her struggle with the unwieldy mattresses from the comfort of the barstools.)

Shanks:  This is quite sudden Makino.  You never invited us to a sleepover before.

Ben (pointedly):  You had lots of opportunities.

Makino (throws the futon on the ground.): Why would I do that?  Because I would want to clean up after you?  Yeah right.  (she stamps back upstairs to get more futons.)

Shanks:  I didn't realize she was so bitter.

Ben:  She's not just a barmaid, you know.  In the anime world, she's an old maid too.

Shanks:  Old?

Ben:  Oh yeah.  For anime women, twenty-one is over the hill, and Makino is much older than that.

Shanks:  She doesn't look that old.

Ben:  And you don't look thirty-seven either.

Shanks (basking in the love): I know.  I make certain to get my beauty rest.

Ben:  Question is: Will the author let you sleep?

Trailer: Will the author let the pirates sleep?  Is Makino really over the hill?  Will Obsessed Zoro Girl (formerly Camera Girl) achieve her life's dream?  How easy is it to get Zoro naked anyway?
Sanji:  Insanely easy.  Almost not worth the effort.
Could that be true?  If so, why am I here?  Will this spamfic get a point?

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Terms Explained
The author doesn't have a fetish about torturing Zoro.  The author just has a torture fetish.  But not a 'torturing Zoro' fetish.