Reindeer Games - Kinky!

(Somewhere else.  The camera girl, having been horribly rebuffed by Zoro in the buff, pours out her heart to a sympathetic ear.)

Camera Girl: I didn't spend five years in the Cinematography program at Wright State to act like a fan girl in front of an actor.  How uncouth could I be?  It's not like I haven't seen naked people before!  I mean, I was a Tri Delta as an undergraduate.  It doesn't get more naked than that. (becomes lost in contemplation of her undergraduate hedonism, then continues) Yet there I was…and I don't know what came over me.  I just started thinking about how the only thing between me and him was the camera lens and then (she buries her face into her hands.)  No one is going to hire me again after that!  My life is ruined.

(Chopper pats her on the shoulder, which isn't as comforting as it sounds because he has hooves and not hands, so it kind of feels like having a small rock pounded into your shoulder blade.)

Chopper:  Maybe you should reexamine your life goal.  Perhaps you weren't meant to be behind the camera.

Camera Girl: (stops wallowing in her pit of misery): You think so?

Chopper (philosophically, yet so adorably): The world is one large ocean.

Camera Girl: (narrows her eyes suspiciously) That sounds like the beginning of a line to me.

Chopper (blinks): I'm not even human.  Why would I try a line on you?

Camera Girl (mulls this over): What kind of transformation can you do again?

Chopper (thinks): Doesn't she realize I'm not her species?

Camera Girl: Just curious.

Chopper: What the - how'd you know what I thought?

Camera Girl: (pulls out script) I'm the frickin' camera girl.  Until the author gives me another function, I have power.  (grins wickedly) So…is it true what they say about antlers?

(Chopper begins to back away.  The gleam in the Camera Girl's eyes is beginning to frighten him.  Usopp stumbles onto the scene, huffing like a smoker trying to run a marathon.)

Usopp:  If I had known she was a track runner in college, I might not have pursued her…(sees the object of his pursuit) Ah!  I have found you at last!

(Chopper glomps on Usopp.)

Chopper:  My savior!

Usopp:   That's right.  I'm a savior.  Pirate Captain Savior Usopp!  (confusion reigns)  But why am I saving you?  I thought I was going to comfort the Camera Girl.

(Camera Girl looks at the both of them.)

Camera Girl: Right. You should have just told me you swing that way.  I would have backed off.

Chopper:  Don't make me laugh. 

Usopp: (turns on Chopper) Oh, I see how it is!  No reindeer games for the one with the freaky nose!  I'm
sure you invited all the other guys though.

Chopper: (exasperated) You can't play reindeer games unless you have hooves and antlers!  And I don't remember anyone inviting me to any of the games you and Sanji and Zoro and Luffy play!

Usopp: You always lose at cards.  You drop them because of your hooves.

Chopper (petulantly): Nami and Vivi are the only ones who like me.

Usopp:  Wait a sec.  Nami and Vivi?

Chopper:  Get your mind out of the gutter, hentai.

(Camera Girl walks off, whistling, preparing to find herself a new life and leaving Chopper and Usopp to argue about the goings-on on the Going Merry Go.)

Trailer: What will the Camera Girl do with her new lease on life?  What's happening in the Mysterious Bathroom?  Has Sanji been hounded by Nami to the very Gates of Mordor?
Nami:  Okay, you need to stop doing that RIGHT NOW!  Leave Tolkien out of this.
Anyway, will Usopp and Chopper untangle the very tangle that is the wicked web of what goes on on the Go Merry Go?  Does this spamfic have a point?  Would it be this enjoyable if it did?

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Terms Explained:
Wright State: A university in Dayton, OH that offers a degree in Cinematography.  Also known for its proliferation of 'Cold Beer and Cheeseburgers' establishments and many sorority and fraternity houses.  The author's experience with sorority girls at Wright State is limited; all characterization is fictional.
The author is not certain if it is true what they say about antlers.
At this point in the writing the author hadn't seen LOR yet because in Japan they like to release things hella late.  But that didn't keep the author from spamming that sucker too.