Dangling Chinstrap Subtext

(The Walls of Ohtori.  Touga, Saionji, and Miki are preparing for the long siege that was described to them by Ends of the World.  The Ohtori SDF ROTC militia has taken up positions and is armed with fearsome weapons like wooden swords and rakes.)

Touga (looking at Miki): Your dangling chinstrap is quite distracting, Miki. (pauses and grins devilishly) That statement had subtext in it.

Saionji: Is it possible for you not to be a pervert?

Touga (arrogantly): I'm not a pervert.  I'm too rich to be a pervert.  I'm smarmy. (turns back to Miki) So who do you think you are?  John Wayne?

Miki (unamused): If you knew anything about Japan's glorious military history, you would know why the barbarian gaijin GIs never had their straps done.

Saionji: Enlighten us, o wise and powerful Miki.

Miki (pleased): I will.  It's because our (meaning Japan's) military geniuses designed bullets so well that when they hit the poorly designed helmets of our disgusting enemies, the helmet straps wouldn't break.

Saionji: So?

Miki (smiling, oh so innocently): And the filthy gaijin's head came off from the force of the bullet's blow like a cork coming out of a wine bottle.

Saionji (makes a face): Ew.

Miki: That's why they never strapped their helmets on.

Touga (carefully): That's very…graphic of you…Miki.  I never knew that you were so passionate about our country's history.

Miki (correcting): Our country's 'glorious' history.  Not only am a Student Council Treasurer and member of the fencing team, but I am also the head of the Ohtori Fascists League.  (surveys the wall of students proudly) I see this as the beginning of the return to our country's admirable military tradition.  Soon Japan will achieve both economic and geopolitical control of Asia, then it is only a matter of time before we take over the world.  (to the students around them) Fear not, my fellows!  Though some of you may fall, know that it is all for the glory of our country.

SDF ROTC Student 1: We might die?

SDF ROTC Student 2: Shit.  No scholarship is worth that.

Saionji: Why are you wearing the filthy barbarian's outfit, Miki?

Miki (disdainfully): Because I am adaptable.  I am not above taking the victor's guise and using it against him.  We lost that war, though not through any fault of our glorious leaders, but due to the weakness of those who implemented their plans. (kicks SDF ROTC Student 2 off the wall)  Let that be a lesson to all those who do not believe in our divine mission!

Touga (peers over the side of the fortifications and whispers to Saionji): And he seemed so sane..

Saionji (watches the slightly bruised SDF ROTC Student shake his fist at the wall, then wander off into town): It's always the quiet ones.

Touga: The stopwatch should have clued us in.

(A fourth of the way up the hill.  Sanji lays spread-eagle on the sidewalk, heaving and puffing.  Shoppers and passer-bys politely step over him.)

Sanji (muffled, as his face is in the sidewalk): I have got to get me some Nicorette…

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(The hill to Ohtori.)

Usopp (using goggles): He's still down there.  I think he's having an asthma attack.

Shanks: We'll have to leave him behind.

Zoro: Leave Sanji?

Luffy (horrified): But what will we do about food?

Shanks (unconcerned): We'll pick him up on the way back.

Vivi: Considering where we are going, Sanji's brain may explode if he enters Ohtori.

Nami: What?

Vivi: It's a shoujo universe.  Everyone is pretty here.  Even the men.

Zoro: I don't think I could put up with him having hearts in his eyes anymore than he already does.

Usopp: Update: Sanji's twitching. 

Shanks: All in favor of leaving the cook, say 'Aye.'

All: AYE!

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Trailer Substitution:
(The streets of Amsterdam.  The members of the Arsonist Anonymous Group are surveying the wreckage of the red light district and interviewing witnesses.)

Bystander: And then she just stood there and laughed for a minute as the fire danced in her eyes!

Hikaru: Was it her? (holds up a picture of Makino)

Bystander: It was hard to see because of the black billowing smoke.

Hikaru: It sounds horrible. (gets a kawaii devilish look) Describe the destruction to me again.

Bystander: Again?

Hikaru (sneaky kawaii): Please.

Bystander: There was a man who was ran out of the building.  His ass was on fire.

Shayla Shayla (whistles lowly as she looks around at the still smoking ruins): If you are setting fire to things and your name is Makino, then you are wrong. Dilandau is going to be pissed that he missed this.  Major real estate destruction is one of his favorite things.

Sailor Mars: Too bad he had to meet his probation officer today.

(The moderator stands to the side and shakes his head.)

Moderator: Makino's MO is all over the place.  Using cheap alcohol to start it, actually staying around and letting witnesses see her, as if she were proud of it - Makino, Makino, Makino…  Thank goodness I have my scanner on the police frequency all the time, or we might not have known about it.  We have to find her before she hurts herself or anyone else!  (thinking) And before I get my moderator license revoked!

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Terms Explained
Miki's story is a true story - well, as true as an Army story can be.