Hammerspace Law

(Recap: Utena and Shanks are about to begin the second part of the duel known as 'Is that Akio guy here?'  Zoro and Sanji are spectating while Vivi and Miki keep their eyes peeled for Makino.  They while away the minutes by cracking on the other cast members' I.Q.  Nami and Juri are not around.)

Voice: Hey Luffy!  You okay?

(Miki and Vivi set their opera glasses on the upside down floating castle.  A tiny face is at one of the windows.)

Usopp: Oi!  Luffy! 

Luffy: I'm fine!  Thanks for the warning, loser!

Usopp: Chu Chu told you to get out of Dio's La-Z-Boy.

Luffy: But he didn't say why!

Usopp: Hey, they're almost done up here.  Carue and I wanna order a pizza.  You in?

Luffy: Yeah.  You all want pizza?

(Sanji and Zoro shrug.)

Sanji: Why not?

Zoro: Might as well.

Usopp: Just stay down there!  We'll throw you the money to pay the delivery guy!

Luffy: 'Kay!

(Anthy appears again with the two roses.  One is white for Utena and the other is black and white with three red streaks through it for Shanks.  She begins to pin them to Utena's chest while Shanks leers in the background.)

Utena: Wait a sec.  These aren't real roses. 

Shanks (peering over Anthy's shoulder): Tissue roses?  What kind of cheap crap is this?

(Sirens can be heard in the distance.)

Anthy: There's a small problem with the greenhouse.

Akio (yelling from observation deck): What do you mean? Small?

(Vivi and Miki jump.  Miki ends up in Vivi's arms.)

Vivi (dropping Miki on the ground): Where'd you come from, Satan?

Akio: I'm the devil.  (grimaces) The devil in with severe internal injuries and in desperate need of an Advil but the devil nonetheless.  I got here by using fire and brimstone transporation. 

Miki: I didn't smell brimstone.

Akio: Brimstone doesn't attract the ladies.  I had it I switched to strawberry scent.

Vivi (taking a deep breath): Oh that's nice.

(Akio wavers between seducing Vivi in her moment of strawberry induced vulnerability or continuing with his inquiries. He makes a choice.)

Akio: Now what's up with the greenhouse, Anthy?

Anthy (smiles vacantly, but there seems to be a bit more teeth behind it than usual): It's on fire.

Akio (frantically): She's here!  She's begun!

Shanks: Where's our bartender, knave?

Akio (hysterically): Setting fire to all I hold dear.  My car!  My car!

(A figure looms behind him shrouded in black evil shadows.)

Makino: What of your car, Mr. Party?

(Akio, Miki, and Vivi scream and grab onto each other.  Then Miki and Vivi smack Akio in the face for trying to cop a feel.)

Akio: An opportunity presented itself - I couldn't help it..

Makino: You're going to sell me the bar, Mr. Party.  If you don't (strange fires began to burn in her eyes), bad things will happen to your precious school.

Akio: Fine. Fine. I give up. (he pulls out the deed from hammerspace and hands it over to her) Just stop setting fire to everything I love!

Makino (blinks): Set fire?

Akio: Don't play innocent with me.  First the red light district, my holdings in New Orleans, then the testosterone withholding facility that I use to keep all the males at Ohtori bishonen and now my greenhouse!  What's next?  The observatory?

Makino (shocked): But I didn't set fire to anything.

Akio: Sure you didn't.  Then what were those 'bad things' you threatened me with?

Makino (pulls a large suitcase bulging with papers out of hammerspace and thumps it onto the ground in front of Akio): Litigation. Years in court with lawyers, paperwork, and negotiations - those kind of bad things.  My uncle's a lawyer.  He'd love to get a case like that.  I was supposed to serve you these papers if you didn't listen to reason.

Akio: Whatever.  Leave my sphere of influence, ex-employee. 

Makino: Hang on there, buddy.  I'm not leaving until I'm sure this agreement is legal and binding. (she pulls out a cell phone and hits speed dial) What?  Dang it! 

Akio: There's no reception under the Castle of Illusions.  You'll have to go outside Mysterious Forest that No One is Supposed to Enter behind the School.

Makino (strange fires burn in her eyes): Don't go anywhere, Mr. Party.  I'll be back in a few minutes.

(Makino walks towards the stairs.)

Akio: And don't think you'll get a recommendation from me, missy!

(Makino makes it abundantly clear what she thinks of Akio's 'recommendation.')

Akio (miffed): Hmmph.  That was rude.  That's what I get for employing ex-convicts.

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Random Quote Analysis:
I wish somebody would invent a fruit that had no seeds, tasted delicious, and screamed when you ate it. - Jack Handey

Sanji: Well I don't.  Luffy would want to eat them and I would be forced to have a kitchen full of screaming papayas. Hmm…Screaming Papayas - that would be a good name for a ska band.
(Kohza and Zoro have recovered from the shock of seeing each other.)
Zoro (defensively): I know I'm not a clone.
Kohza (more defensively): I am definitely not a clone.
Sanji: So you too must be related somehow.  There's only one way to find out for sure.  Time to strip, boys.


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Terms Explained
Fairly self-explanatory - if you're the Author.  Or related to the Author.  Or a clone of the Author.