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An Anti-climax
Utena (hands the sword back to Anthy): Good. Akio turned up. We're finished. Now I can go study.
Shanks (pouting): And I was looking forward to cutting the clothes off a lesbian.
Utena (turns on Shanks, grabbing him by the shirt and bringing him down to her face level): I'm not a lesbian!
Shanks (sincerely surprised): You're not?
Anthy (taken outback): You're not?
Sanji (disappointed): You're not?
Utena (lets Shanks go): No!
Sanji (curious): Why not? If I were a girl, I'd be a lesbian.
Utena: Because I'm a prince!
Anthy: That's right. MY prince. (glares at everyone to dare and disagree with her.)
Miki: I thought you said you were looking for a prince.
Utena: I'm doing that too.
Vivi: So let me get this straight. You're a man who's trapped in a girl's body, but who actually likes men?
Zoro: That makes her a homosexual in a women's body.
Luffy: I saw that on Springer.
Utena (seriously pissed): That's not how it is at all!
Anthy: Sounds about right. It certainly explains why she likes my brother.
Akio: Anthy! And wait just a minute, Utena. The ONLY prince here is me. Got that?
(A small vein pops up on Sanji's forehead.)
Utena: Got the gonads to say that down here?
Akio: Hell yeah!
(Akio transports himself via fire and strawberry to the dueling arena. He materializes in front of Utena.)
Utena: Being a prince isn't a gender specific role anymore, Akio, and I'm out to prove it.
(Sanji's one visible pupil begins to grow smaller and smaller.)
Akio: Bloody hell it isn't! No one wants to see the princess riding off with some butch girl - Utena: The Movie proved that.
(The small vein in Sanji gets bigger.)
Luffy: Sanji, you okay there, guy?
Utena: I swear to God if you bring up that movie ever again -
Akio: You'll what? Turn into a car and try and impale me? Is that what a prince usually does to save the princess?
(The end of Sanji's cigarette flares dangerously.)
Utena: That's IT! (turning to Anthy) Choose. Me or him.
Akio: She can't choose - she's the frickin' Rose Bride.
Utena: Anthy - pick your prince. Now!
Anthy (in monotone and unconcerned): Please stop fighting, my princes.
Akio, Utena, and Sanji: PRINCES?
(Suddenly the lights go out - Dramatically!)
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Random Quote Analysis: One good thing about hell at least is you can probably pee wherever you want to. - Jack Handey
Sanji (disgusted): That's a lovely thought. (Due to the inflammatory comment Sanji made in the last RQA, the two clones ignore the quote.) Zoro: What would being naked prove? Sanji: Skeletal structure, musculature…so on. Differences will be evidence that you aren't clones. (turns around) I won't look. You two can compare without interference. Kohza (gulps nervously.): I'm not sure I feel comfortable with this.
next smut home
=============== Terms Explained Utena: The Movie only makes sense after six Tequila Sunrises. But it's purty in any case. Being a prince is not a gender specific role. Utena is not a lesbian but she does have really bad taste in men. Jerry rocks and rubbing Steve's head brings good luck.
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