The Scientific Theory Involving Red Hair

(Ohtori Campus.  Sanji (in Anthy's body) and Zoro are looking for Anthy (in Sanji's body). 

Zoro: Have any idea where your body would be?

Anthy: Probably in that big phallic symbol shaped observatory over there. 

Zoro: Why do you think that?

Anthy: (shrugs) No reason really.

(Suddenly three girls step out of the shadows.)

Keiko: There you are.

(She slaps Anthy.)

Keiko: You kicked Saionji in the head and now he's in the hospital!

Aiko: With a concussion!

Yuuko: It's all your fault.

(They watch in astonishment as Anthy proceeds to light up a cigarette.  She inhales and then expels the smoke very slowly and deliberately into their faces.)

Anthy: No shit it's my fault.

(Nanami's little henchwomen are stunned by this admission.  They stare at the new Anthy in complete and utter confusion.)

Yuuko (aside): Did Nanami-sama get a hold of that curry powder again?

Aiko: Impossible. It was the last batch for two hundred years.

(They both look for directions from Keiko.)

Keiko: Don't look at me!  I'm trying to determine who I'm more frightened of.  This person who happens to be wearing Anthy's body or Nanami-sama.

Anthy (timidly): Excuse me?  Miss?

Keiko (trying to be intimidating): What is it?

(An evil smile spreads over Anthy's face.)

Anthy: You should be more frightened of me.

(Anthy proceeds to kick the ever-living crud out of the flunkies.)

Zoro: You done?

Anthy (smiles as she sees the broken bodies of the young women): Yes.

Zoro: I thought you were chivalrous towards women.

Anthy: I just do that chivalry stuff to get the chicks.  Doesn't do me squat when I'm a chick too.

Zoro (snickers): Didn't do you squat when you were a man either.

Anthy (glaring at Zoro): I wish I had the adrenaline to react to that comment, but I feel nothing but general low level rancor towards everyone.  Men, women; neither are attractive to me in this body.  And for some reason, I especially hate the color purple.

Zoro: Yeah, your hair does suck.

Anthy: That would hurt my feelings if it came from anyone but you.

Zoro: Hmm.  I wonder how the person who's occupying your body is coping with you?

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(Juri's spacious Student Council living quarters.  Juri, who is normally cool and collected and angsty too, is running around like a chicken with her head cut off.  She artfully throws a few scarves around, sprays the room with perfume, and breaks out the champagne.)

Nami (from bathroom): Um, Juri?  I need something to wear.

Juri: There's a bathrobe hanging on the door.  (She sits on the couch, adjusts the filmy night gown that she is wearing, and tries to act both seductive and nonchalant at the same time.)

(Nami exits the bathroom and takes in the newly redecorated room.)

Nami: Miss Treasurer, I do believe you are trying to seduce me.

Juri (innocently): Why do you think that?

Nami: Just a feeling I have.  But it doesn't matter. I already have a love-slave.  Plus he can cook.  What can do you do?

Juri (sarcastically): Is this an audition?

Nami: Yes.

(Suddenly Juri sneezes and a handful of gold coins comes out of her nose.  Nami stares at her, dumbfounded.)

Juri: Damn.  I thought I had control of that.

Nami (in awe): You sneeze…money?

Juri (coloring beautifully as only Juri can): Er, yes, it's quite embarrassing.  I'm sorry.  I ate some stupid thing called the Zaku Zaku fruit…now I sneeze gold coins.

Nami: What's there to be sorry about?  Do it again!

Juri (coyly): Well, I don't think I could possibly -

Nami: Pretty please?  Just once more.

Juri: Well, alright….

===============

(On the Student Council balcony.  Shanks and Touga are deeply involved in Go Fish.  Vivi and Miki are set up a little farther away, showing off their blue haired genius superiority by playing 21.)

Shanks: We really lucked out with our genetics and all.

Touga: I know.

Shanks: We have red hair.  It doesn't get any better than that.

(On the other side of the balcony.)

Miki: What are they talking about?

Vivi: I haven't the foggiest, Miki-kun.  Hit me.

(The other other side of the balcony.)

Touga: What other characters get to influence their respective shows as much as we do?

Shanks: I haven't been in the manga except for flashbacks and short cameos for twenty four volumes (and still counting), yet I'm still listed in the synopsis.

Touga: I pouted for thirteen episodes, but I came back with a vengeance!

Shanks: And the main characters' have no choice but to love us.

Touga (smirking): Oh, I know.

Shanks: I love genetic destiny.

Touga (tossing his hair again): I love my hair.

(They play Go Fish smugly.  Miki turns to Vivi again.)

Miki:  Vivi, is that true?  Is it genetic destiny that causes the main character of a series to fall in love with the red-haired character?

Vivi: Two series does not make a scientific case.

Miki (comforted immeasurably by this): Statistics - that's right.  But Vivi…

Vivi: Yes, Miki-kun.

Miki: Are we a scientific case?

Vivi (begins listing names off her fingers): You, me, Ami, Umi, I could continue, but I won't.

Miki (sighing happily): I love being a blue-haired bishonen.

Vivi (also sighing happily): I love being a blue-haired bishoujo.

Utena: Mind if I crash your party?

(Miki and Vivi look at each other.  They both think the same things at the same time, since they are both superior, blue-haired geniuses.)

Miki (thinking): There's no way -

Vivi (thinking): - little Miss Pink here -

Miki (thinking): - could beat us at cards -

Vivi (thinking): - so we could take her -

Miki (thinking): - for all she's worth!

(They laugh in their superior genius blue haired way.)

Utena: Can I play then?

Vivi (innocently): Of course.

Miki (pulls out a chair): Please sit down.

Vivi and Miki (thinking): And prepared to be slaughtered!

===============

Trailer Substitution:
"Itadakimasu!" - Sanji

Anthy: What?
Zoro: How can that be analyzed?  It's like analyzing, 'Thank you!'
(A large book of San x Zo doujinshi drops in front of the duo.  They turn to the book marked page and look at it in astonished silence for some time.)
Anthy (small voice): I NEVER did this.
Zoro (pale): And I sure as hell wouldn't have enjoyed it if you did.
Anthy: Isn't your OOC yaoi?
Zoro: That's right!  But this thing disgusts me!  So that must mean that the author's power over us is weakening!  The spam will end!
Anthy: Soon the Smut Garden will be NO MORE!
(The two do a Ginyu Dance of Joy.)
Anthy (stopping in mid-pose): Dammit!  The author did it again!

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Terms Explained
Yup - makes perfect sense to me.