SDF ROTC

(The normally open campus of Ohtori has been fortified for a siege.  The graceful arches have been stopped up with wood, a la Les Miserable.  Touga, Saionji, and Miki are on the front lines, supporting the troops.)

Touga (resplendent in a knock off costume reminiscent of Napoleon): The cannon fodder is ready, then?

Miki (in WWII fatigues, complete with helmet chinstrap unhooked): Perhaps you shouldn't call the soldiers' 'cannon fodder.'  It has a tendency to ruin morale.

Saionji (in Tokugawa shogunate samurai battle armor):  They don't need morale.  The way of the samurai is death.  They should know that.

Miki (dryly): Yes, of course.

Saionji (surveying students, who are armed with shinais, practice fencing swords, and assorted gardening tools): Where are Juri and Nanami? Why aren't they at the front like the rest of us?

Touga (gallantly): They are where all women should be during a war.  In the back.

Saionji: Being camp followers?

Touga (growling): Watch what you say about my sister.

Miki (thoughtfully): Are they being Mata Hari like spies, infiltrating the enemy's lair, and sabotaging from within?

Saionji (laughs): Nanami has had lots of practice at that.

Touga (sharply): Saionji, shut up!  Juri and Nanami are requisitioning supplies.

Miki (stepping over a prone student): How are they able to do that?

Touga: Thank Dios for the far reaching powers of the Student Council charter.  (reciting) 'Student Council members are given free rein to requisition whatever supplies are necessary for the defense of the school.'

Miki: I don't remember that clause.  In fact, I don't remember most of the clauses about the Self-Defense Force ROTC militia.

Saionji (sarcastically): How fresh is the ink on that charter? Dripping, you say?

Miki: Nor do I remember the clause saying the Student Council President gains broad, sweeping powers during a state of emergency.

Touga (blithely): Gotta love the charter.

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(Back on the road that leads to Ohtori.)

Usopp: Are we there yet?

Nami (using her bo to support herself): What's with this hill?

Vivi: This is not normal. (darkly) Probably some twisted warped Akio plot in all of this.

Luffy (conversationally): This is almost as bad as the hill that was outside your town, Usopp.

Nami (scornfully): That wasn't as bad as this.

Zoro (gives Nami evil look): That all depends.

Shanks: Depends on what?

Zoro (staring at Nami): It depends on if someone shoved you down to the bottom of a lard-covered slope then ran off.

Shanks: Sounds kinky.

Zoro (glowering): Try evil.

Nami (exasperated): Are you on that again?  I said I was sorry.

Zoro (muttering): …and you kicked my swords…

(Sanji is lagging behind.  He holds onto a tree, trying to regain his breath.)

Sanji: ….can't  (wheez) understand (puff) why this is so (cough) difficult…

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Random Quote Analysis:
Trowa's dead. - Quatre.  Yeah, you killed him. - Heero, Gundam Wing

Vivi (wailing): Trowa's dead?!
Zoro (musing): I wonder why Quatre killed him.
Vivi (falls on her knees, weeps into her hands): TROWA!
Zoro: Those Gundam guys are really screwed up.
Vivi (whimpering): Trowa…

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Terms Explained
As America decided to write out a real military in Japan's constitution, Japan was left with the Self Defense Force.  The Self Defense Force is dedicated to ONLY self defense, hence the lack of real weaponry.