Got Proclivities?

(Ohtori Academy. Nanami has just begged the Luffy Pirate Crew not to go into Ohtori.)

Touga (turning to the other two): Told you pansies we would be fine.

Nanami: Please.  Just go away.  Most of us are well off.  We can pay you to go away.

Nami: Really?  How much would -

Shanks: You can't bribe us!  We want our bartender!

Nami: No, we'll go away if  the price is right.

Zoro: Shut up, Nami.  They said we're not bishonen.  They've insulted us.  We have to battle them to the death now.

Juri (sniffs with contempt): Please.  The bishonen reason is made up.  That's not why you can't come in.

Luffy: I don't understand.  Why can't we come and play?

Nanami (screams): Why do you think?  We already have enough strange proclivities in this universe!  We have yaoi, yuri, bisexuality, plus incest, mixed race relationships, pedophiles, not to mention the personal demons and mental instabilities of our cast that don't relate to sex at all! 

Shanks (nodding): Yes, those doujinshi authors can be big perverts.

Nanami (darkly): That isn't the doujinshi.

Luffy (gulping): It's not?

Nanami: Do you think adding pirates to this mess would make it better?

Touga (muses from the wall): Now that you mention it that sounds like fun.  Come on in!

(Chaos ensues, as the pirates stampede over the unmanned fortifications. Juri and Nanami are left behind, dusty and tired.)

Nanami (glumly): It wasn't supposed to go like that.

Juri (shrugs): Too late now. 

Nanami: My brother is a big pervert.

Juri: That he is.  Come on.  Let's go watch the madness.

===============

(On the hill road that leads to Ohtori, Utena and Wakaba are window shopping.  ChuChu is sitting on Utena's shoulder, nibbling Pocky.)

Wakaba (noticing the large person shaped lump in the middle of the sidewalk): Hey, what's that?

Utena: There appears to be a person lying in the middle of the sidewalk.

(Utena prods Sanji's unconscious body with her toe.  He doesn't respond, so she flips him over.)

Wakaba (screams): OH MY GOD!

Utena (making a face): What is it?

ChuChu (certainly): Chu

Utena: A man?

Wakaba (shuddering): I've seen men before.  They don't look like this.  They're much prettier for starters.

Utena (frowning): And they don't have hair on their chins.

Wakaba: Or smell like smoke.

Utena: And look, his shirt is buttoned all the way up.  He can't be a man.

ChuChu: Chu.  Chu Chu Chu.

Utena: All the boys at Ohtori are bishonen and aren't really men at all?

Wakaba: What should we do with it?  Is it dead?

(Sanji groans.  Wakaba shrieks and jumps behind Utena.)

Utena (bravely): He can't stay in the middle of the sidewalk.  We'll take it..er, him…to the Ohtori infirmary.

Wakaba: Maybe the Science club would be a better idea.

(With that, Utena grabs Sanji's foot and begins to drag him up the hill to campus.)

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Random Quote Analysis
'Dude, what in the hell came over you?  You punched the king in the face?  With your fist?  What were you thinking?' - Dave, KODT

Vivi: Whoa.  Dad's going to be seriously pissed!  I'm going to have to talk to Kohza about that.
Zoro: Your dad is a wuss.
Vivi: He isn't! Wait a sec.  This isn't even about my dad! Where the heck is the author getting these quotes from?
Zoro: And why are we subjected to having to analyze them?

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Terms Explained
The title - after that famous ad campaign.
Like bad 70s porn movies, the Ohtori campus rules seem to allow male students to wander around with their shirts buttoned only half way up, if at all.