Interlude Part 4: Sanji's Balls

To Recap: In the last episode, it appeared that the Author was loath to write the phrase 'Sanji's balls.' To prove that she has no problem with the phrase, she made it the title of the chapter and wrote it in the opening sentence.  In fact, the phrase "Sanji's balls" will be inserted randomly in this chapter, just to prove the point that the Author is shameless.

Usopp (chuckling): Insert.  Hehehehe.

Sanji: (back to Ben) I didn't want one of my legs to grow stronger than the other so I put another 'ankle bracelet' on.

Vivi: That's very impressive.  You don't even seem to feel [Sanji's balls].

(Everyone stops and looks at Vivi.  Chopper begins to cry louder.  Usopp cracks up.)

Vivi (who is turning a brilliant purple): Minna…I didn't…

Nami: We understand.

Sanji: Though you definitely can feel -

(Nami gives him [Sanji's balls].)

Sanji (smirking): Thanks, but I already have a pair.

(And then Nami turns white with rage from the spamming she just received.)

Shanks: Author, you proved [Sanji's balls.]  You can stop [Sanji's balls]-ing us!

Makino: Ew. I don't think [Sanji's balls.]

Sanji (really smirking now): Why not?  It's a pleasant topic to think about.

Luffy: Let's get back to the real reason we're here - [Sanji's balls.]  Dammit!  The real reason we're here is [Sanji's balls!] 

Zoro: [Sanji's balls] [Sanji's balls] [Sanji's balls] [Sanji's balls].  [SANJI'S BALLS!] (grumbles) [Sanji's balls.]

Sanji: Hey.  I don't want Zoro talking like [Sanji's balls]!

Usopp (giggling): They talk too?  You are a man of many talents.

Ben: It's simple.  Keep your mouth shut and you won't say [Sanji's balls.]

(The pirates sit at the bar and say nothing - their silent protest is a testament to non-violent demonstration and the legacy of MLK, Ghandi and Thoreau.)

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The rain always stops. - Hitomi, Escaflowne no Tenkuu

Nami (glances at quote): No duh.  Some people shouldn't be allowed to speak out loud.  (back to Sanji) You see, Sanji-kun, we can escape the RQA void if we exploit ourselves shamelessly.
Sanji: Okay.  (grins and begins taking off his pants)
Nami: NO!  Not like that! (Sanji stops mid-un-zip and pouts)  We have to make it entertaining.  And remember how the Author said she wanted a challenge?  Unfortunately, Sanji-kun, you are no challenge.
Sanji: Nope.  Not a bit.
Nami: But if we play strip poker…and you manage to win…even though you are horrible at cards…
Sanji (claps his hands together in excitement): My favorite game! I win even if I lose!
(Some time later.  Nami = all her clothes.  Sanji = lost his shirt, literally. And his tie and his shoes and his socks.  He's getting down to the essentials now.)
Nami (laying her cards out): Full house.  Take off the pants, Sanji-kun!
Sanji: Yes, ma'am!
Nami: But…will you do a sexy dance while taking them off?
Sanji: …er…
Nami (fanning herself like she's hot): It'd make me very, very happy.
Sanji: Of course I will!  Anything for you, Nami-swan!
(Sanji proceeds to strip-tease his way out of his pants.  There are many suggestive looks and inappropriate uses of a chair, ala Flashdance.  Issac Hayes plays faintly in the background.  After a few moments, Sanji's Chippendale impression finishes.)
Sanji (now in his boxers): How was that, Nami-san?
Nami (purring): Perfect, Sanji-kun.
(They play another hand.)
Nami: Ara!  I seem to have lost this hand!
Sanji (gleefully): Your turn, Nami-san!
(Sanji watches greedily as Nami's fingers linger over the top buttons of her shirt.  Then her hand darts to her chin.  She slowly and sensuously begins to…….peel off her face!)
Sanji (at a loss): Er, I was referring to maybe your shirt? AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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Terms Explained
I have no idea where this came from.  I just go with the flow of ideas.
Someone has received their asked for smut.  In spades and spam and [Sanji's balls].
Sanji's sexy dance was inspired by Ace's Dance Dance Fiesta del Amor. (Too sexy)
The "… plays faintly in the background" is ripped off of SfaE.  Because it's funny.