ALTERNATE UNIVERSE ARC

Interlude Part 1: Return of the Mak

(Fuschia Village's main drag.  The Makino-mobile, which has a trailer hitched to it, races up the street, scattering obaasans and pigeons alike.)

Radio: Goodness gracious, great balls of fire!

(It squeals to a stop in front of Party's Bar.  The Makino-mobile is loaded with packages and huge boxes.  Sanji cannot be seen under the towering pile of bags on his lap.  Makino shuts off the radio, turns off the ignition, whistles happily, and gets out of the car.)

Makino: Sanji?  Coming? (glowers) And you know what I mean.

Sanji's Voice: Not quite yet.

(Makino realizes his problem, removes the packages, and puts them outside the car.)

Makino: You can get out now.

Sanji: Not quite yet.

(Makino unlocks the handcuffs that were keeping Sanji in the car.)

Sanji (trying to rub circulation back into his wrists): Thanks.

Makino: Now the first thing I want you to do is unload the trailer of my purchases.  And then I need you to remove that sign that says 'Party's Bar.'  Then you can put up the new sign.  Then you can get started in the kitchen.

(Sanji gets out of the car.  He makes it a few steps…and finds that the run-of-the-mill activity known as 'walking' has gotten much more difficult. He looks at his leg and its new accessory - the cutting edge fashion ball and chain ankle bracelet.)

Sanji: How'd you do that?

Makino (smugly): I'm quick aren't I? If I learned one thing from Mr. Party it's that a good employee is hard to find - so if you find one, you should hold onto them.

Sanji: You mean kidnap them?

(Makino shrugs. Her non-chalance should not be surprising since everything she learned in business, she learned from Lucifer.)

Makino: Hop to it!

(Sanji looks at his leg pointedly.)

Makino: Small bunny hop to it.

(As Sanji step, drags, step, drags, his way around the car, a large commotion can be heard down the street.  It is the unmistakable sounds of the Luffy Pirate Crew - sans Sanji.  Luffy is leading the pack - he is on a quest to get his chef back!)

Luffy: I WANT MEAT!

Zoro: And you need Sanji for that? (glares at the sky) The yaoi OOC was supposed to have stopped ages ago!

Shanks (miffed): Yeah.  You could have given me that line.

Chopper (to Usopp): I can't believe you took me away from the Tecmo Bowl Championships for this.

Usopp (glumly): We had ordered pizza and everything.

(Luffy glomps on Sanji.)

Luffy (glaring at Makino): MINE!

(A thousand and one fangurls are inspired to find Lu/Sa doujinshi, but no one really cares - in the Smut Garden!)

Nami (smacks Luffy on the back of the head): We're getting a great deal renting him out.  And the tips…(her eyes glaze over as she considers the future monetary gains)

Vivi (a la Karen, pointing at the packages): Honey, what's this?

Makino (grinning): I went shopping.

Nami (breaking out of her future gains musing): Did you buy something for me?

Shanks: You didn't have much money the last time we were in town.

Makino: The Fuschia Village Chamber of Commerce has great small business loans.

Shanks (to Nami): Plus she's got the chief in her apron pocket, if you know what I mean.

Nami (berii signs in her eyes): Who is this 'chief' person and where does he live?

Makino: Let's go view my bar.  Note the emphasis on the 'my' part.

Zoro: After Ohtori I could use a drink.

Sanji: Hear, hear!

Nami: I need to get rid of all the horrible memories…

(Usopp and Chopper look at each other and shrug.)

Makino (graciously): Irrashaimase.

(Makino, who is still being gracious, graciously opens the swinging doors to ex-Party's Bar, graciously allowing the pirates to enter first.  She follows. )

Makino: Tadaima-AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Random Quote Analysis

I prefer to call it an exodus from an undesirable place - Samuel L. Jackson on his many escapes from prison in Out of Sight

Zoro: I suggest we watch that movie.
Sanji: Yeah.
Kohza: A TV would be nice.  After all, I'm stuck in the Random Quote Analysis space while you get to jaunt around shoujo universes.
Sanji: That's no fun.  What do you do?
(Kohza gestures to all the book stacked randomly in the corner.)
Kohza: I read.
Sanji (glancing at the spines): Marx, Mao, Freud, Thoreau, Arendt, Locke, Rousseau, Kant, Russell... phew.  That's pretty heady stuff.
Zoro (sadly): My clone's a nerd.  Obviously cloning technology has not yet been perfected.
Kohza (ignoring Zoro): But I have to sit on the floor and it's hard. Some chairs or a couch would be nice.
Zoro: Stop whining, clone.
Kohza (sharply): For the last time, I am not a clone.  In fact, I bet I'm older than you and that would make YOU the clone.
(Zoro takes a moment to consider this idea.)
Zoro: Version 2.0 is always better.
(Suddenly, a couch materializes out of nowhere.)


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The books that Kohza is reading are by famous writers of political theory that advocate or examine revolution.  Of course!