Links to Page brad pitt picturesOops We have gone over here for brad pitt pics especially shirtless < < < clickee herebrad pitt pictures shirt less
Not Paying For A Drink ------------------------ The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, "What'll you have?" The guy answers, "A scotch and brad pitt pictures, please." The bartender hands him the drink, and says "That'll be five dollars," to which the guy replies, "What are you talking about? I don't owe you anything for this." A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, "You know, he's got you there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration." The bartender was not impressed, but says to the guy, "Okay, you beat me for a drink. But don't ever let me catch you in here again." The next day, same guy walks into the bar. Bartender says, "What the heck are you doing in here? I can't believe you've got the audacity to come back!" The guy says, "What are you talking about? I've never been in this place in my life!" The bartender replies, "I'm very sorry, but this is uncanny. You must have a double." To which the guy replies, "Thank you. Make it a scotch." brad pitt wedding .
-------------------------------------------------------- 7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well
because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was, she told me, "In the lake."
8 Since then, neither God nor man has rested. brad pitt photo gallery .
!
Road Stop
----------
"How long have you been driving without a tail light, buddy?"
demanded the policeman. The driver jumped out, ran to the rear of his car, and gave a low
moan. His distress was so great that the cop was moved to ease
up on him a bit. "Aw, come now," he said, "you don't have to take
it so hard. It isn't that serious." "It isn't?" cried the motorist. "What happened to my boat and
trailer?" brad pitt photo . Prescriptive compliance
------------------------
A woman brought her baby in to see the doctor, and he
determined right away the baby had an ear ache. He wrote a prescription for ear drops. In the directions he wrote,
"Put two drops in right ear every four hours" and he abbreviated
"right" as an R with a circle around it. Several days passed, and the woman returned with her baby,
complaining that the baby still had an earache, and his little
behind was getting really greasy with all those drops of oil. The doctor looked at the bottle of ear drops and sure enough, the
pharmacist had typed the following instructions on the label:
"Put two drops in R ear every four hours" brad pitt pictures . EVIDENCE YOU LIVE IN THE YEAR 2002 ---------------------------------- 1. You just tried to enter your password on the microwave. 2. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three. 3. You call your son's beeper to let him know it's time to eat. He e-mails you back from his bedroom, "What's for dinner?" 4. Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site. 5. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken with your next door neighbor yet this year. 6. You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea. 7. Your grandmother asks you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a new screen saver. 8. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home. 9. Every commercial on television has a web-site address at the bottom of the screen. 10. You buy a computer and 6 months later it's out of date and now sells for half the price you paid. 11. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 years of your life is cause for panic and turning around to go get it. 12. Using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase would be a hassle and takes planning. 13. Cleaning up the dining room means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car. 14. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they don't have e-mail addresses. 15. You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow. 16. Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet. 17. Your idea of being organized is multiple-colored Post-it notes. 18. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person. 19. You get an extra phone line so you can get phone calls. 20. You disconnect from the Internet and get this awful feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one. 21. You get up in the morning and go on-line before getting your coffee. 22. You wake up at 2 AM to go to the bathroom and check your E-mail on your way back to bed. 23. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :) 24. You're thinking how true all of this is.
free pictures of brad pitt . Technology ---------- Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops. The others look at him questioningly. "That's my pager," he says. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm." A few minutes later a phone rings. The second man lifts his palm to his ear. When he finishes he explains, "That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand." The third man, feeling decidedly low-tech, steps out of the sauna. In a few minutes he returns with a piece of toilet paper extending from his rear. The others raise their eyebrows. "I'm getting a Fax." brad pitt seven pictures . Trivia Answers -------------- 1) An estimated five million Americans suffer from a recurring ailment known as SAD. For what is SAD an acronym? - Seasonal affective disorder. It's a wintertime syndrome that can be treated with light. 2) What do the letters represent in the acronym DNA-the protein substance inside each cell that transmits genetic information from parent to child? - Deoxyribonucleic Acid 3) What is the name of the computer program developed by the Los Angeles Police Department to help solve homicides? - HITMAN - for Homicide Information Tracking Management Automation Network 4) What do the bacteria Lactobacillus bulgaricus and Streptococcus thermophilus have in common? - Both must be presenting a product for it to be labelled yogurt under US Food and Drug Administration regulations. 5) How many pairs of legs does a shrimp have? - Five jennifer aniston brad pitt pictures . Today in History Today is Wednesday, Jan. 16, the 16th day of 2002. There are 349 days left in the year. Today's Highlight in History: On Jan. 16, 1920, Prohibition began in the United States as the 18th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution took effect. (It was repealed by the 21st Amendment.) brad pitt and jennifer aniston pictures . brad pitt & pictures . On this date: In 1547, Ivan the Terrible was crowned Czar of Russia. In 1883, the U.S. Civil Service Commission was established. In 1919, Nebraska, Wyoming and Missouri became the 36th, 37th and 38th states to ratify Prohibition, which went into effect a year later. In 1942, actress Carole Lombard, her mother and about 20 other people were killed when their plane crashed near Las Vegas, Nev., while returning from a war-bond promotion tour. In 1944, Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower took command of the Allied Invasion Force in London. In 1964, the musical "Hello, Dolly!" opened on Broadway, beginning a run of 2,844 performances. In 1967, Alan S. Boyd was sworn in as the first secretary of transportation. In 1981, in Northern Ireland, Protestant gunmen shot and wounded Irish nationalist leader Bernadette Devlin McAliskey and her husband. In 1989, three days of rioting erupted in Miami when a police officer fatally shot a black motorcyclist, causing a crash that also claimed the life of a passenger. In 1991, the White House announced the start of Operation Desert Storm to drive Iraqi forces out of Kuwait. (Because of the time difference, it was early Jan. 17 in the Persian Gulf when the attack began.) Ten years ago: Officials of the government of El Salvador and rebel leaders signed a pact in Mexico City ending 12 years of civil war that had left at least 75,000 people dead. Four days of Middle East peace talks recessed in Washington, D.C. Five years ago: Entertainer Bill Cosby's only son, Ennis, was shot to death in Los Angeles in an apparent roadside robbery attempt. In Atlanta, two bomb blasts an hour apart rocked a building containing an abortion clinic, injuring six people. Israeli soldiers dismantled their military headquarters in Hebron, marking the beginning of the end of Israel's 30-year-old rule in the West Bank city. One year ago: Confirmation hearings for Attorney General-designate John Ashcroft opened in Washington with Senate Democrats throwing jabs at him over abortion and civil rights. Laurent Kabila, president of the Democratic Republic of Congo, was killed in a shooting at his home. Dave Winfield and Kirby Puckett were elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame on their first try. Leonard Woodcock, former head of the United Auto Workers union, died in Ann Arbor, Mich., at age 89. brad pitt fight club pictures . Thought for Today: "If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gives it to." - New England saying pictures of brad pitt . Word of the Day for Wednesday January 16, 2002: fugacious \fyoo-GAY-shuhs\, adjective: Lasting but a short time; fleeting. The fugacious nature of life and time. --Harriet Martineau, Autobiography [T]astes, smells . . . being, in comparison, fugacious. --John Stuart Mill, Examination of Sir W. Hamilton's Philosophy When he proposed the tax in May, Altman thought it would follow the fugacious nature of some flowers: bloom quickly and die just as fast. --Will Rodgers, "Parks proposal falls on 3-2 vote," Tampa Tribune, June 27, 2001 Fugacious is derived from Latin fugax, fugac-, "ready to flee, flying; hence, fleeting, transitory," from fugere, "to flee, to take flight." Other words derived from the same root include fugitive, one who flees, especially from the law; refuge, a place to which to flee back (re-, "back"), and hence to safety; and fugue, literally a musical "flight." brad pitt vanity fair pictures . Today in History Today is Thursday, Jan. 17, the 17th day of 2002. There are 348 days left in the year. Today's Highlight in History: Twenty-five years ago, on Jan. 17, 1977, convicted murderer Gary Gilmore, 36, was shot by a firing squad at Utah State Prison in the first U.S. execution in a decade. On this date: In 1706, Benjamin Franklin was born in Boston. In 1893, the 19th president of the United States, Rutherford B. Hayes, died in Fremont, Ohio, at age 70. In 1893, Hawaii's monarchy was overthrown as a group of businessmen and sugar planters forced Queen Liliuokalani to abdicate. In 1945, Soviet and Polish forces liberated Warsaw during World War II. In 1945, Swedish diplomat Raoul Wallenberg, credited with saving tens of thousands of Jews, disappeared in Hungary while in Soviet custody. In 1946, the U.N. Security Council held its first meeting. In 1961, in his farewell address, President Eisenhower warned against the rise of "the military-industrial complex." In 1984, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled, 5 to 4, that the private use of home video cassette recorders to tape television programs did not violate federal copyright laws. In 1994, a 6.7 magnitude earthquake struck Southern California, killing at least 61 people. In 1995, more than 6,000 people were killed when an earthquake with a magnitude of 7.2 devastated the city of Kobe, Japan. Ten years ago: President Bush laid a wreath at the crypt of Martin Luther King Jr. in Atlanta. Eight Protestant laborers were killed in an IRA bombing in Northern Ireland. Five years ago: Speaker Newt Gingrich agreed to submit to a reprimand by the House and pay a $300,000 penalty as punishment for his ethics violations. Israel handed over its military headquarters in Hebron to the Palestinians, ending 30 years of Israeli occupation of the West Bank city. A court in Ireland granted the first divorce in the Roman Catholic country's history. One year ago: Faced with an electricity crisis, California used rolling blackouts to cut off power to hundreds of thousands of people. Gov. Gray Davis signed an emergency order authorizing the state to buy power. current pictures of brad pitt . Word of the Day for Thursday January 17, 2002: hauteur \haw-TUR; (h)oh-\, noun: Haughty manner, spirit, or bearing; haughtiness; arrogance. [M]y silence, I hoped, would be taken as expressive of the hauteur of a man who was above it all -- a man with a mission, in fact, a mission authorized from somewhere on high. --Jeffrey Tayler, Facing the Congo Sheikhs and presidents have often heard little about the royal family's follies, and don't object to the hauteur and self-importance that remain its inextinguishable traits. --Hugo Young, "Blair and the Queen," The Guardian, April 10, 2001 That self-deprecation and lack of hauteur are typical of the earthy style that enables Powell to get close to his troops in a way that many top brass never do. --"Colin Powell: The master planner of Desert Shield is ready for its ultimate test," People, December 31, 1990 Hauteur is from the French, from haut, "high," from Latin altus, "high." It is thus related to altitude. the mexican brad pitt pictures . Today in History Today is Friday, Jan. 18, the 18th day of 2002. There are 347 days left in the year. Today's Highlight in History: On Jan. 18, 1912, English explorer Robert F. Scott and his expedition reached the South Pole, only to discover that Roald Amundsen had beaten them to it. (Scott and his party perished during the return trip.) On this date: In 1788, the first English settlers arrived in Australia's Botany Bay to establish a penal colony. In 1862, the 10th president of the United States, John Tyler, died in Richmond, Va., at age 71. In 1892, comedian Oliver Hardy was born in Harlem, Ga. In 1919, the World War I Peace Congress opened in Versailles, France. In 1936, author Rudyard Kipling died in Burwash, England. In 1943, during World War II, the Soviets announced they'd broken the long Nazi siege of Leningrad. In 1943, a wartime ban on the sale of pre-sliced bread in the United States, aimed at reducing bakeries' demand for metal replacement parts, went into effect. In 1967, Albert DeSalvo, who claimed to be the "Boston Strangler" but later recanted, was convicted in Cambridge, Mass., of armed robbery, assault and sex offenses. (Sentenced to life, DeSalvo was killed by a fellow inmate in 1973. Last month, DNA tests failed to link DeSalvo to the last Boston Strangler victim, casting the killer's identity further in doubt.) In 1970, Mormon president David McKay died at the age of 96. In 1996, Lisa Marie Presley-Jackson filed for divorce from Michael Jackson. Ten years ago: The Hollywood Foreign Press Association presented its Golden Globe awards, considered a forerunner of the Academy Awards; no clear favorite emerged as the Walt Disney animated film "Beauty and the Beast," "Bugsy," "JFK" and "The Prince of Tides" were honored. Five years ago: Former Massachusetts Sen. Paul Tsongas, who rebounded from cancer to briefly become the Democratic front-runner for president in 1992, died in Boston of pneumonia at age 55. One year ago: President Clinton, in a farewell from the Oval Office, told the nation that "America has done well" during his presidency, with record-breaking prosperity and a cleaner environment. Electricity-strapped California saw a second day of rolling blackouts. Civil rights leader Jesse Jackson revealed an extramarital affair that resulted in the birth of a daughter. free brad pitt pictures . Word of the Day for Friday January 18, 2002: somnolent \SOM-nuh-luhnt\, adjective: 1. Sleepy; drowsy; inclined to sleep. 2. Tending to cause sleepiness or drowsiness. [I]n his case, restrained ultimately meant boring, as the audience was lulled into a somnolent state. --Teresa Wiltz, "The Hip, the Flip, the Flop," Washington Post, March 3, 2000 Meanwhile, many a somnolent local authority has been stirred into action by Davidson's blunt approach. --John Lucas, "Memorials are made of these on the eve of Remembrance Sunday," Daily Telegraph, November 7, 1998 Back in the somnolent heat of Bangalore he wrote a revealing novel entitled Savrola. --David Stafford, Churchill and Secret Service Somnolent is from Latin somnolentus, from somnus, "sleep." A related word is insomnia (in-, "not" + somnus). brad pitt + pictures . Today in History the mexican pictures and jennifer aniston pictures & pictures free pictures + pictures Pictures pic pix fanclub current pictures of fan club web site gallery photo Today is Monday, Jan. 21, the 21st day of 2002. There are 344 days left in the year. This is the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday. Today's Highlight in History: On Jan. 21, 1793, during the French Revolution, King Louis XVI, condemned for treason, was executed on the guillotine. On this date: In 1861, Jefferson Davis of Mississippi and four other Southerners resigned from the U.S. Senate. In 1915, the first Kiwanis Club was founded, in Detroit. In 1924, Russian revolutionary Vladimir Ilyich Lenin died at age 54. In 1942, Count Basie and His Orchestra recorded "One O'Clock Jump" in New York for Okeh Records. In 1950, former State Department official Alger Hiss, accused of being part of a Communist spy ring, was found guilty in New York of lying to a grand jury. (Hiss, who always maintained his innocence, served less than four years in prison.) In 1950, George Orwell, author of "1984," died in London. In 1954, the first atomic submarine, the USS Nautilus, was launched at Groton, Conn. In 1976, the supersonic Concorde jet was put into service by Britain and France. In 1977, President Carter pardoned almost all Vietnam War draft evaders. In 1998, President Clinton angrily denied reports he'd had an affair with former White House intern Monica Lewinsky and had tried to get her to lie about it. Ten years ago: The Supreme Court agreed to review a Pennsylvania law imposing waiting periods and other restrictions on abortions. (The court later upheld most of the restrictions while reaffirming women's constitutional right to abortion.) Five years ago: Speaker Newt Gingrich was reprimanded and fined as the House voted for the first time in history to discipline its leader for ethical misconduct. Trying to improve its tarnished image, the Democratic National Committee announced it would no longer accept money from people or companies with foreign ties and would limit contributions from labor unions and wealthy benefactors. One year ago: Pope John Paul II elevated archbishops of New York and Washington and 35 other church leaders to the College of Cardinals. The Roman epic "Gladiator" claimed best dramatic movie and the 1970's rock-and-roll story "Almost Famous" won best comedy at the Golden Globes Awards. Byron De La Beckwith, a white supremacist convicted three decades after the fact for assassinating civil rights leader Medgar Evers, died in Jackson, Miss., at age 80. brad pitt & pictures . Word of the Day for Monday January 21, 2002: gelid \JEL-id\, adjective: Extremely cold; icy. The weather is gelid on a recent Thursday night--so uninviting that it's hard to imagine anyone venturing out. --Letta Tayler, "The Accent's on Brooklyn," Newsday, April 6, 2000 Last January a major crisis arose when the Argentine naval supply ship Bahia Paraiso foundered near an island off the Antarctic Peninsula, creating a diesel-oil spill that inflicted untold damage on the ecosystems clinging to the edges of the icy continent or swimming in its gelid seas. --Christopher Redman Paris, "Could anything be more terrible than this silent, windswept immensity?" Time, October 23, 1989 Gelid comes from Latin gelidus, from gelu, "frost, cold." pictures brad pitt . pictures of wedding photo gallery photos pictures seven pictures jennifer aniston pictures fight club pictures vanity fair pictures free pictures of Today in History Today is Tuesday, Jan. 22, the 22nd day of 2002. There are 343 days left in the year.
Today's Highlight in History: On Jan. 22, 1973, the Supreme Court handed down its Roe v. Wade decision, which legalized abortion using a trimester approach. On this date: In 1901, Britain's Queen Victoria died at age 82. In 1905, thousands of demonstrating Russian workers were fired on by Imperial army troops in St. Petersburg on what became known as "Red Sunday" or "Bloody Sunday." In 1917, President Wilson pleaded for an end to war in Europe, calling for "peace without victory." (By April, however, America also was at war.) In 1922, Pope Benedict XV died; he was succeeded by Pius XI. In 1944, during World War II, Allied forces began landing at Anzio, Italy. In 1953, the Arthur Miller drama "The Crucible" opened on Broadway. In 1970, the first regularly scheduled commercial flight of the Boeing 747 began in New York and ended in London some 6 1/2 hours later. In 1972, Britain, Denmark, Ireland and Norway joined the European Economic Community. In 1973, former President Lyndon Johnson died at age 64. In 1995, Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy died at the Kennedy compound at Hyannis Port, Mass., at age 104. Ten years ago: President Bush named Andrew H. Card Jr. to be transportation secretary. The space shuttle Discovery blasted off with seven astronauts. Five years ago: The Senate confirmed Madeleine Albright as the nation's first female secretary of state and former Republican Senator William Cohen as defense secretary. One year ago: On the anniversary of the Supreme Court decision legalizing abortion, President Bush signed a memorandum reinstating full abortion restrictions on U.S. overseas aid. Four of the seven convicts who had broken out of a Texas prison the previous month were captured southwest of Denver; a fifth inmate killed himself.. Word of the Day for Tuesday January 22, 2002: philomath \FIL-uh-math\, noun: A lover of learning; a scholar. It is precisely for the philomaths that universities ought to cater. --Aldous Huxley, Proper Studies "It's nothing to laugh about," he says. "Strange things happen in this country--things that philosophers and other philomaths had never dreamed of." --Tomek Tryzna, Miss Nobody Philomath is from the Greek philomathes, "loving knowledge," from philos, "loving, fond" + mathein, "to learn, to understand." Maguire Lauds NYC as Set for Spidey Tobey Maguire, leaping into action films this summer with "Spider-Man," says its the right time for a superhero film set in New York, a city of real-life heroes. "I think people will be ready this summer to watch a good guy in New York who has fun and goes around and beats up the bad guys. Do superheroes still fit in? Yeah, I think so," he said. The World Trade Center was featured prominently in a trailer that was pulled after Sept. 11. But the towers remain in the skyline of Spider-Man's New York. Maguire, who has starred in "Cider House Rules" and "Wonder Boys," said Spider-Man's conflict with the Green Goblin, played by Willem Dafoe, blurs the line between good and evil. "The Green Goblin is still considered the bad guy, the evil guy, but there are redeeming qualities about him and things that you want to care about him for," Maguire said. Limbaugh Returns to Airwaves Talk show host Rush Limbaugh told his listeners Monday that an ear implant has partially restored his hearing. Limbaugh had an electronic device placed in his skull late last year, and the final hookup, which partially restored his hearing, took place Thursday. "When you've had, in my case, over 50 years of normal hearing and to lose it suddenly, as I did, it's ... a shock," said Limbaugh, who went deaf last year because of an autoimmune inner-ear disease. "You adapt to it, as you have no choice, but you ought to try it." Limbaugh, who has 20 million weekly listeners on about 600 radio stations, said his mind played tricks on him at times. "I was hearing the soundtracks to westerns," Limbaugh said. "It was as loud as can be. It was distracting. I knew I wasn't hearing it because those noises weren't being made." Limbaugh had continued to do his show as his hearing deteriorated and eventually disappeared, using an elaborate setup at his South Florida studio involving transcribers and computer screens to read listeners' calls. Limbaugh said he is having to relearn how to hear. Voices are a bit fuzzy, like they have been recorded on a minicassette recorder, he said. But during one-on-one conversations, his hearing is about 90 percent normal. "I am pretty dependent on what people's lip movements are, although that is improving every day," Limbaugh said. Limbaugh warned his listeners that telephone calls have so far posed the biggest problem for him, saying he'll have to "wait and see" if that improves. If not, he'll still use the setup devised when he was deaf. Today in History Today is Wednesday, Jan. 23, the 23rd day of 2002. There are 342 days left in the year. Today's Highlight in History: On Jan. 23, 1932, New York Gov. Franklin D. Roosevelt announced his candidacy for the Democratic presidential nomination. On this date: In 1789, Georgetown University was established in present-day Washington, D.C. In 1845, Congress decided all national elections would be held on the first Tuesday after the first Monday in November. In 1920, the Dutch government refused demands from the victorious Allies to hand over the ex-kaiser of Germany. In 1950, the Israeli Knesset approved a resolution proclaiming Jerusalem the capital of Israel. In 1964, the 24th amendment to the Constitution, eliminating the poll tax in federal elections, was ratified. In 1968, North Korea seized the U.S. Navy ship Pueblo, charging its crew with being on a spying mission. (The crew was released 11 months later.) In 1973, President Nixon announced an accord had been reached to end the Vietnam War. In 1977, 25 years ago, the TV mini-series "Roots," based on the Alex Haley novel, began airing on ABC. In 1985, debate in Britain's House of Lords was carried on live television for the first time. In 1989, surrealist artist Salvador Dali died in his native Spain at age 84. Ten years ago: Forty-seven nations, including the United States, agreed on a massive global humanitarian effort to rescue millions of hungry people in the former Soviet Union. Five years ago: Cancer experts who were supposed to settle a furious controversy over whether women should start having mammograms at age 40 or age 50 decided instead to leave the decision up to patients. One year ago: California energy officials eked sufficient power out of tight West Coast electricity supplies to avoid rush hour blackouts as lawmakers scrambled to make longer-term deals to buy power. Five Falun Gong followers set themselves on fire in China's Tiananmen Square; one died. pictures of wedding photo gallery photos pictures seven pictures jennifer aniston pictures fight club pictures vanity fair pictures free pictures of the mexican pictures and jennifer aniston pictures & pictures free pictures + pictures Pictures pic pix fanclub current pictures of fan club web site gallery photo Word of the Day for Wednesday January 23, 2002: redoubt \rih-DOWT\, noun: 1. A small and usually temporary defensive fortification. 2. A defended position or protective barrier. 3. A secure place of refuge or defense; a stronghold.
Evicting the intruders from their mountain redoubts with ground forces alone was beginning to look like a protracted and expensive task. --"Kashmir's violent spring," The Economist, May 29, 1999 First, Milosevic himself will be absent, apparently fearful of leaving his redoubt in Belgrade. --"Lessons of Balkans Applied to Kosovo," New York Times, February 1, 1999 Redoubt derives from French redoute, from Italian ridotto, from Latin reductus, "a refuge, a retreat," from reducere, "to lead or draw back," from re-, "back" + ducere, "to lead." Your daily humor: Joe's Accident... Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court. In court the trucking companies fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'?" said the lawyer. Farmer Joe responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the......." "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'" Farmer Joe said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road..." The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question." By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule Bessie." Joe thanked the Judge and proceeded, "Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her he took out his gun and put her out of her misery Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, "Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her - how are you feeling?"
pictures of brad pitt |
