RHYS' EXCELLENT ADVENTURE
& WANDASUE, JAILBIRD!

MOVING DAY..........by Coralynn

Rhys sees William approach the house before the other man rings the doorbell, and hurries to the door, opening it for William to enter.
"How are you doing, Rhys?"
"Well, pretty well. I figured out how the television works, and I even used the microwave oven! Incredible! But it is rather lonely over here, plus I feel like I'm tresspassing on John and Rose's territory."
"Good thing you mentioned that, my friend. Rose is on her way back from the junket the cast of that mini-series was on, and phoned me from the airport, saying she was too embarrassed to face you, so could you please live somewhere other than in this house."
"Of course. I should have realized."
"Not your concern, Rhys. We thought you might enjoy having a whole house to yourself, but it looks like it's time for you to join your son in his domicile."
"I can't live at the big house," Rhys begins......
"No, not that son, the other one, Daniel."
"Daniel? Oh, well, I suppose I should get to know the lad better. Yes, that sounds good to me."
"Can we have you out of here within the next ten minutes?"
"Easily. I brought very little with me, just a couple changes of clothing John lent me."
"I must take you shopping, Rhys, so that you can have your own closet of clothes," William says.
"But what would I do with them if I went back to my own timeframe?"
"We'll face that if and when the time comes!" William tells him.
They gather up Rhys' clothes and exit the house.
"Does Daniel live alone?"
"I think he has one room-mate, a nice chap, you'll like him."
"Then let us be off!" Rhys smiles and sets a brisk pace that William has trouble keeping up with, as they head over to William's car.


THE NEW ROOMMATE.......by Terri

William picked up his cellphone. "I'd better call Daniel and let him know you will be there when he gets home. Their plane has landed because I talked to Rosamond."
He dialed a number and a voice came on the other end.
"YO! Talk to me, Hot Mama!"
William made a face. "Daniel, it is not a mama, hot or otherwise. This is William. I have a request for you. Would it be permissible for your father--Rhys--to lodge with you in the interim of what he intends to eventually do?"
"Huh?"
"CAN DADDIO STAY AT YOUR HOUSE?"
Daniel took the cellphone away from his ear. "Why didn't you say so in the first place? Sure. Be a rippin' good time. Partying down with Pops."
William's lip curled. "Thank you, Daniel. And may I compliment you on your command of the English language?"
"Huh?"
"Never mind. Where is the key?"
"Where no one will ever find it. Under the door mat."

In the limo, Daniel turned to Rosamond. "Looks like I got a new room-mate, oh sister-in-law of mine! The donor of half my chromosomes will be staying with me. If you care to drop by..."
Rosamond's face coloured. "No, that won't be necessary. I just want to get home to John and the children."

Daniel laughed, "You lose, sweetheart. Know the commercial for that gum? Double your pleasure, double your fun? Can you imagine what triplets....YOW!! What was THAT for? You didn't have to step on my instep!"
Rose said sweetly, "That was just for being you!"

The limo driver pulled up in front of the big house on Winding Willow. Eleanor, Rose, and Bess got out, along with their luggage. The driver continued on to his next stops.
Eleanor shouted, "We're home! Who else is?"
John came into the kitchen and immediately put his arms around Rose.
"See? No time travel! That has to be the longest week of my life. Oh! And El? A surprise for you!"
Jerry came out of the living room. "JERRY!" Eleanor squealed. Or as close as you can get to Eleanor squealing.
Jerry grinned, "I thought it would be a nice surprise. I was going to the airport to greet the plane but I heard it was re-routed."
Eleanor took off her shoes and rubbed her feet. "You have no idea! We started to fly to Westchester airport which is redundant since we are so close we could have practically walked! BUT that is the way the network ran it. THEN they rerouted us to Binghamton NY because Chappaqua was fogged in. Binghamton was in the middle of the 'stacking hour' so they took us to Boston of all places. The plane developed a cracked windshield due to a duck flying into it and according to the FAA you cannot fly with a cracked windshield. So we were stuck there for three--count 'em!--three hours. Three long long hours with Daniel and Hotspur. Watching them hit on all the flight attendants."


WANTED...........by Coralynn

"Sally, get in here! Look what's on TV!" Penelope yells from the living room.
Sally rushes in and hears the newscaster say:

"The mysterious disappearance and reappearance of several prominent talk show hosts is still baffling authorities. After the group, which consisted of the four women of The View, Oprah Winfrey, David Letterman and Jay Leno, was seen clustered on a Manhattan street yesterday afternoon, they were each interviewed. Each of them said the same woman was responsible for their untimely kidnapping from their television shows during the actual broadcasts. Letterman told the Police that a woman who looks identical to Marilyn Monroe, and sat with him behind his desk on the show, told him that WandaSue was the culprit. She also told him that WandaSue was an enemy. The authorities are scouring their records for a miscreant with that name, though they don't have any last name as yet. They are also very interested in speaking with the woman who looks like Marilyn Monroe, who was seen with the group after they reappeared, but hasn't been seen since. Anyone with information about this situation is urged to phone their police station, any police station, where the call will be transferred to the proper authorities. Since the kidnapped show hosts said they were taken to the Arabian Desert, making this a possible international crime, the FBI and Interpol also getting involved."

Sally and Penelope look at each other with eyes full of wonder.
"They're looking for WandaSue, are they?" Sally exclaims.
"Yeah, this is our lucky day. I do believe we're the only ones who know how to fetch her back. Hmmmm, if they offer a cash reward, we'll be in clover."
"But how do we explain how we knew where she was and how we got her back here?"
Penelope ponders that. "We can say she was in New Jersey, all manner of weird things happen in New Jersey. She had a big building that looked like the Arabian Desert...."
"You think they'll believe that?!"
"Well, hell, Sally, it's more believable than that she was 4000 years ago in the desert Moses was roaming around in!"
"You have a point...." Sally rubs her chin, "So we wait till they offer money, right?"
"Absolutely. Why should we cooperate for free? It's not like WandaSue is going anywhere!" at that they both laugh.

MEANWHILE:

Marilyn pours a second cup of coffee and takes it into Celeste's room. "Sure is great to be home again!"
"I know, dear, it's wonderful to have you back safe and sound. But.....did you see the newspaper? They're looking for you, to question you about the disappearances of those talk show hosts."
"I know. And, unfortunately, they have a perfect description of me. Just look for the lady who looks like Marilyn Monroe! Rats!"
"You may have to go into hiding again," Celeste says sadly, "I hope it doesn't come to that, but it might."
"I could die my hair or wear a wig!" Marilyn cheers up.
"Maybe. So far the media hasn't stormed the house, but it's only a matter of time. Some of them have to remember you from the Look-Alike contest last year."
"Maybe they'll be too busy looking for WandaSue!" Marilyn suggests.
"WE know where she is, too!" Celeste laughs, "But I doubt anyone else does. Were her two cronies in on this caper of hers?"
"Hard to say. She could have swiped Sally Jenning's coin unbeknownest to Sally, and as for Penelope......well, she did show up on the Oprah stage, but that was the only one. She has to know something!"
"OK. Penelope knows about the dirty tricks. She knows WandaSue had Sally Jenning's coin. But....you took the coin from her and took it back to Sally. Right now WandaSue is stranded at the Exodus. Think we should go get her?"
"WHY?!"
"If we had her we might gain some control over the situation. Since Sally has her coin back, she may be tempted to zap herself off and get WandaSue and hide her from the authorities."
"She was pretty steamed about what WandaSue did, though. She'd be more apt to turn her in!"
"So it's just a matter of who turns her in. I'd prefer it be US."
"So let's do it! Right now!" Marilyn takes Celeste's hand and thinks of the Exodus and *zap* they arrive.

The batteries in the CD player the women have relied on to supply the Greek music for their dancing have run down. They're hitting the CD player and in anger, one of them throws it on the ground, yelling, "MAKE MUSIC! NOW!"
It's a pathetic sight. Celeste tells Marilyn, "Let me look at that player and see what kind of batteries it takes." She asks one of the women to please hand it to her, which she does, and taking off the back, sees the AA batteries. "I can get more for you if you'll just stay calm a few minutes, ladies," she says just before she disappears.
Within a minute she's back with a pocketful of AA batteries. She shows the women how to put them in the player, and when she hits 'play' the music booms forth again.
"Magic lady!" several of them exclaim and begin to make garlands for Celeste's hair.
"We had a tan goddess here, but she left. However, I have just added to our new Scriptures that a magic lady would appear, which you have. You are to be our new spiritual leader."
"I'm very pleased that you think I qualify, but really, my dear, I just came to pick up WandaSue. Where might she be?"
One of the taller, more muscular women sneers, "We beat her up and tied her to yonder tree."
Celeste and Marilyn can see that indeed someone is tied to a palm tree about 50 yards distant.
"Why did you beat her up?" Marilyn asks.
"She was the reason our music stopped!" the tall, muscular woman answers.
Celeste knows that the cessation of the music was in no way tied to WandaSue, but chuckles that at least she was being held captive, making it easier for her and Marilyn to zap her back to the 21st century.
Marilyn strides over to the tree where WSue is tied, bound and gagged.
WandaSue is frightened, she has never been quite this frightened before. One of her enemies is now in control of her destiny. And over there stands that weird witch lady. Things couldn't be any worse, or could they??

Celeste has now walked over to where Marilyn is looking down at the helpless WandaSue. She leans down to untie the bonds on WSue's wrists, but Marilyn tells her, "No. Don't untie her. We can deliver her more easily if she's bound hand and foot."
WandaSue's eyes bug out in shock.
"Where shall we deliver her, dear?"
"We have two choices: either to Sally and Penelope or to the Police."
WandaSue tries to put in her vote for Sally and Penelope. Marilyn and Celeste ignore her futile attempts at communication.
"Her two so-called friends might finish what that big muscular woman over there started...." Marilyn considers, "...but on the other hand, she should be turned over to the authorities."
WandaSue's eyes are all but falling out of her head with fright.
"Well, yes," Celeste agrees, "but I think Sally and Penelope have some kind of interest in seeing justice done."
"OK, then, let's do both!" Marilyn concludes, "We zap her to Sally Jenning's house for just a few minutes, then off she goes to the slammer!"
"Perfect!" Celeste makes sure that all three women are touching as she tells her coin where to take them.

Sally and Penelope are engrossed in the TV news when suddenly they notice there are three more people in the room.
"WandaSue!" they both yell, run over and smack her face, which actually means they smack her gag, which covers half of it.
They see Marilyn, who they've decided is the only decent human being living at the Big House on Winding Willow, and ask, "Where'd you get her?"
"Oh, tied to a palm tree. Seems she didn't fit in well in the Arabian Desert, either. Now, ladies, I know you'd like to deliver your own version of justice, but we must be off....." and the three women disappear.
Penelope makes a fist and smacks the palm of her other hand, "OUCH! Remind me never to do that again! Now we won't be getting the reward money!"
"Was there reward money?"
"There would have been in time, but those others beat us to it. It's all your fault, Sally."
"How so?"
"It is, that's all, it just is!"

MEANWHILE:

Jeremy Pennypacker is new to the Chappaqua Police, having spent several years in Los Angeles, a place he very much disliked as it bore no resemblance whatsoever to Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, where he grew up. Now he's in a more familiar environment and looks forward to years of issuing speeding citations and retrieving cats out of treetops for little old ladies.
He is not prepared for what suddenly transpires before his very eyes: three women appear as out of the air, one of them bound and gagged. He looks up and sees.......oh my God.....it's the woman who looks like Marilyn Monroe that everyone has been searching for!
This MM look-alike grabs up a sheet of paper, writes something on it, then she and an older woman suddenly disappear, leaving him with a most unpleasant looking woman, gagged, wrists and ankles tied.
He looks at the sheet of paper the MM clone wrote on and sees:
"This is WandaSue. She's the one responsible for the show host kidnappings."

Jeremy knows about this fugitive, but is unsure what to do next, so he calls out, "Office McGee! Come quickly!"
Travis McGee enters the office and sees a very familiar sight, WandaSue Skaggs. Of course! It could only be her responsible for all those kidnappings!
"This woman is wanted in every state in the country and most countries in the world!" he exaggerates as he pushes her toward a cell. He opens one and waits for her to walk into it willingly. That doesn't happen, so he gestures for back-up from Pennypacker, who joins them but has no idea why.
"Help me cart this baggage into the cell!" Travis yells at him.
Pennypacker gently pushes WandaSue, which is totally ineffective. Travis glares at him and by himself gives her a mighty push till she flies into the cell and falls on her knees. "THERE!" he slams the cell door closed and locks it. "That's the way we do Police work in these parts!"
Jeremy wrinkles up his face and thinks, "....but I thought this area was so genteel. Could I have been mistaken?"


THE BACHELOR PAD....by Terri

William and Rhys walked up to Daniel's apartment door on Elmwood.
William reached under the mat and picked up the key. Rhys looked at William and raised his eyebrow. "Is that a smart thing to do? Anyone could..."
"Yes. But who would want to?" William sighed.
They walked into Daniels' apartment. "I guess he doesn't have a cleaning service."
William tripped over barbells on the floor. Rhys looked around. The furniture was decent enough. If you could find it under the clothes. William looked in the refrigerator. "I'm going to have to go grocery shopping with you, Rhys. Unless you can live on Coronas, lime slices and a head of lettuce. And lettuce is green, not brown. How does the boy live?"
Rhys looked at the stack of magazines on the shelf under the coffee table. He picked up one and thumbed through it. Thumbed slower through it. Opened it up. Turned it sideways. Rhys was shocked. "William? William?"
William pulled his head out of the refridgerator. "What?"
Rhys turned the magazine around. "Is---is this who I think it is?"
William put his head back in the refrigerator and took an inventory of what was needed. His muffled voice came from within.
"What is the date on the magazine?"
Rhys looked and said, "September 2002."
William looked around for paper and a pencil. Absentmindedly he said, "Milk..butter...eggs..yes, that's her....ketchup...mustard..."
Rhys looked again. "But---but----how-----?"
William sighed. "She ran into a few problems that month. Least of all was a hidden camera."
William took the magazine and looked at it quickly. "Oh, so THIS was the issue where the hashmarks are gone. John thought he bought up all the copies. Guess not."
Rhys continued to stare at it until William took it out of his hands and put it back under the coffee table.
"Let me show you how everything works."
William turned on the overhead fan and a pair of underwear went flying into the wall and dropped down to the floor. Rhys and William looked at it and William said, "Let him pick up his OWN underwear!"

William turned on the bathroom light. Aftershave and cologne was everywhere.
A pile of wet towels were in the corner and flung over the shower curtain. William sighed again and turned out the light.
"Here's your room, Rhys."
Rhys looked in on it. "Looks pleasant enough."
William said, "That's because you have a wonderful landlady. Bethia Bidwell. She bought this property for an investment. Let's check stuff out in the living room. I'll show you how the remote and the DVD works."
Rhys picked up some square plastic cases. "What are these?" William took them and thumbed through them. " 'Jazz For A Rainy Afternoon' ... 'Jazz For A Stormy Night' 'Jazz For a Hot Summer Night'....'Jazz To Make...' NEVERMIND! Looks like Daniel has a one-track mind!"
William led Rhys down the hall. "Rafe stays in this side of the house. It used to be a big house until Bethia made them into nice cozy apartments. Rafe has his own fridge in the kitchen. It's the black one in the corner. Beth has this planned really well."
William opened the door to Rafe's quarters. Neat as a pin. A lot of self-help books and self-improvement books. "I think you will like Rafe. You two have alot in common. Rafe is a reformed highwayman but a gentleman. He works at the Fitness Center with Daniel."
Rhys asked, "Fitness Center?"
William explained, "That son of yours---John---has a Midas touch. Everything he has tried has turned to gold. He got into acting...you know, kind of like on the stage---and then branched out into a business that helps people stay in shape and exercise. Healthier living. Daniel is a big part of it. Daniel would be a nice guy if he didn't covet what John had all the time."
William was quiet. Rhys asked, "Including his wife?"
William shrugged. Rhys asked again, "The baby...Julie....could it be...?" William shook his head no. "It's been proven to be John's but Daniel is so dense, he just can't get it through his head."
Rhys shook his head as if to clear it. "I don't understand..."
William said, "It's a long story and I don't have the strength. And not really my place."
Rhys dropped the subject.
William said, "I'll be back later with food. Will you be alright, Rhys?" Rhys smiled and said, "Yes. I get to spend time with my son. Find out what makes Daniel tick."
William shook his head. "I guess. Daniel is one of a kind. What makes him tick?
When you find out, let us know. Just remember. A stopped watch is right twice a day. It's the rest of the time you have to watch out for."
William gave him a salute and walked out the door.

William drove back towards Winding Willow when he slammed his brakes on. The car fish-tailed and did a 180. He jumped out of the car. Words were forming on his lips but either the words wouldn't come or they froze on his lips. He blubbered incoherently. Fortunately no one was around to hear it. He flapped his arms like a pelican and ripped poster after poster down....all the way back to Winding Willow.


HAVE YOU SEEN THIS WOMAN?.......by Coralynn

William enters the house making a great racket, thumping snow off his shoes, then yelling, "Family Meeting! Now!"
The others come into the dining room, which is the usual place for these family meetings and see William carrying more than his usual supply of newspapers; he also has his arms full of posters, which he flings on the table.
"Look at these! I found them tacked to trees, telephone polls, all kinds of places all over town! There's even one in the window of the bank. I ripped down all the copies I could, though I didn't get the one in the bank, obviously! Look at it!"
Everyone has his or her own copy, as William has a pretty thick stack of them.

WANTED
For Questioning.
Investigative Lead,
Regarding the crimes
perpetrated against
talk show hosts.
Contact any Police Station.

Marilyn is the last one to enter the dining room, and when she sees the posters lying all over the table, she gasps, grabbing up one of them. "Where did they get this picture of me?"
"They're easy to get, Marilyn," Eleanor tells her, "Just go to the Images on Google and hundreds come up, even the nude calendar picture."
"NO!" Marilyn sits down and groans, "I'm going to have to go into hiding, aren't I?"
"Very possibly," William says, "Plus you would be wise to wear a disguise. Now, where can you go where they won't think to look for you?"
"I could time travel!" she suggests with enthusiasm.
"We really would prefer you stay in our timeframe, dear," Celeste tells her, gently putting her hand on the other woman's arm.
"Last time I had to go into hiding was kinda fun," Marilyn explains, "Remember how Luke and I watched videos and ate popcorn? I thought it was elegant."
"Now that Luke is living at the castle, though, that won't work again," Rose adds.
"Trouble is, the cops know who our friends are now. They know the first places to look," Eleanor says.
"NO they don't!" Marilyn gets excited, "They don't know about..........Moose!"
"Do you know him well enough to feel comfortable asking for this kind of assistance, though, Marilyn," William asks.
"Yes! He and are I great buddies, but it's been so recent that no way is Moose, or rather, Matthew, on their radar screen," Marilyn explains, "His house is huge, and now that he has a functioning heating system, I could hole up there the rest of the winter."
"We just have to get you from here to there unrecognized," Celeste puts in, "Which is very possible if you don't mind looking like a 200-pound woman!"
"Euuuu, that sounds unattractive!" Marilyn laughs, "But if it's just a matter of looking bad while I go from here to there, hey, I'm willing!"
"Better phone him and make sure he'll be home, and make sure he's willing to let you stay there," William advises.
"Oh I will, in fact I'll phone him right this very minute!" Marilyn tells him cheerfully.

Moose/Matthew hears the phone ringing and when he answers hears Marilyn's voice, "Hi Matthew! This is Marilyn. Want some company?"
"Depends on who it is," he answers, "If it's you then absolutely. It is you, right?"
"Yes, me. It could be for quite awhile, though. I'm being hunted. There are posters all over town asking people to tell the cops where I am. They haven't been to the big house over here yet, but it's only a matter of time, hours, maybe minutes."
"I ripped down some of those posters," Moose says, "but they're all over town like fleas on a dog! You can stay here as long as you need to, you know that."
"I hoped that. Thanks, Matthew. See you soon, very soon." she hangs up and smiles at Celeste, "Now, let's get crackin' on that disguise, lady!"
She and Celeste and El and Rose and Bess leave the room, heading for Celeste's room in the back of the house. William pronounces, "Meeting over. Crisis averted, or at least postponed."

"Good thing it's still winter and you can hide this padding under a big coat," Rose says as she ties the coat in the front with a yank. "You look perfectly awful!"
"Yes, don't I?" Marilyn agrees as she sees her reflection in the full-length mirror. "Black hair, no lipstick, sensible shoes, yuck, and I liked your last little touch, El.........eye shadow under my eyes to make me look tired."
"And way older," Celeste adds, tilting her head to the side, trying to imagine what others will see if they notice this old, haggard woman walking up to Moose's house.
"Let's go!" Marilyn says just as they hear the doorbell ring.
"You may have to pass the cops on your way out, dear," Celeste warns her, "so if they ask you if you know the whereabouts of a woman who looks just like Marilyn Monroe, for heaven's sake, use a low gravely voice. Can you do that?"
Marilyn tucks in her chin and produces a sound that is most unpleasant, "Yes, Officer, I think I saw her go.........thataway!"
Eleanor is to drive her over to Moose's house, and even going out the back door, they still see one of the Policemen hovering around the side of the house. When he sees Eleanor, who he recognizes, and a woman who has to be a cleaning lady, he waves and smiles. They wave and smile back, hop in the car and drive out slowly to make it look like they have no reason to flee.


JEREMY LEARNS THE ROPES.....By Coralynn

Jeremy Pennypacker is shocked when a veritable army of reporters storm the jail. "Where is she?" "We heard WandaSue was captured!" "Let us at 'er!"

"Gentlemen," Jeremy pleads, "This is not proper. She has no lawyer yet. You aren't allowed to interview the prisoner!"
"Oh yeah?!" one aggressive reporter shoves Jeremy aside and strides over to the cell in which WandaSue is now cowering.
"So why'd ya do it, lady?" he yells at her.
Think, babydoll, think, she tells herself, you have to say something that won't give anything away. I know!! "My name is Mrs. William Robert Montgomery."
"HUH?!" several reporters snort.
"My name is Mrs. William Robert Montgomery." There, she thinks, that oughta do it.
Flashbulbs are popping everywhere. She begins to see little red spots at the back of her retina.
"You're WandaSue, the kidnapper, aren't you?" the reporter standing closest to her cell yells.
"My name is Mrs. William Robert Montgomery!" she says once again, feeling for all the world like a contestant on the old game show 'To Tell The Truth.'
WandaSue is getting upset because her 'broken-record' technique isn't helping. Several reporters are leaving, saying "I got pictures! Time to get back to the paper!" or in some cases......"back to the TV station."
WandaSue realizes that a picture of her all crazed and upset will now be shown on the TV stations as well as on the front of all the newspapers. I could have at least smiled for the camera! she thinks as the last of the reporters take off running to meet their deadline.

MEANWHILE:

"Sally, come quick! There's a picture of WandaSue on the national news!" Penelope yells.
Penelope joins her and laughs, "Look how mad she is! Well, too bad, lady, you blew it! Ask us if we care!"
"They're still looking for the woman who's a dead ringer for Marilyn Monroe, too. Don't know where she is. Hell, anyone knows she lives on Winding Willow. But, hey, she's an Ok gal, so I hope nobody finds her. She could blow this whole thing wide open!"
Penelope adds, "If they find her, think she'll spill the beans about the time travel?"
They look at each other and both say, "Nawwwwww!"

THE HIDING........by Coralynn

Eleanor slows in front of Moose's house and glances at the unrecognizable Marilyn sitting in the passenger seat. "You keep in touch, now!" she tells her.
"I will! I just hope they don't tap the phone at the big house," Marilyn says as she hauls a lot more body than she's used to out of the car, and closes the door, yanks the overstuffed, ratty-looking suitcase out of the back seat then waves at El.
Eleanor watches as she waddles toward the house, then onto the porch, and in no more than a minute she sees Moose let her into the house.
"Mission accomplished," she says as she drives on.

"Help me get out of this horrible get-up!" Marilyn exclaims as she begins to peel of the coat, the pillows, then runs into the downstairs bathroom to repair her face.
"I think you look quite fetching that way, Marilyn! It's the soul that counts after all!"
"Yeah, right!" he hears her yell from the bathroom, "and in a minute you're going to see a soul that resembles me come out of this room."
Moose puts water on for tea and tidies up the kitchen. None of the rooms have been renovated yet, but the next day the work begins. As he sees Marilyn emerge from the bathroom and join him, he asks, "Will having the repair guys here make it difficult for you?"
She sits on a chair and ponders, "I don't dare let them see me looking like myself. I'd better stay sequestered somewhere when they're here. Which room are they starting on?"
"The kitchen first," he tells her. "So if you feel like whipping up a gourmet meal, you might want to rethink that."
"Who, me? Gourmet meal? Ohhhh contrare! Tell ya what, since your kitchen will be unusable for a couple weeks, let's order out every night! That sounds elegant. Then you can show me how you're coming on your new book! I'm dying to read it!"
"I'm almost done writing it, too. Finding those papers and mementos of Magaera Stafford was a godsend. The book almost wrote itself!"
"Has John come round to see them yet?"
"Not yet. I spotted him out with Rose and that other couple, Beth and Roger, right?.....at the River Inn the other night. He looks really really tan! Has he been somewhere on vacation? Nobody gets that tan around here in February."
"That, my dear, is another story, which I'll tell you later after I've had some tea and we've phoned out for pizza."
"Thick crust or thin?" he asks as he reaches for the phone.
"Thin. Thin and crispy," she answers, "Sorta like me!" and laughs.


HELLO, T_R_O_U_B_L_E.....by Terri

Daniel put his key in the door and opened it. He put his luggage down and headed for the refrigerator, grabbing a beer. Rafe was right behind him. "Great to be home again, Daniel!" Rafe said.
Daniel took a long pull on his beer bottle and said,."Ahhhh! I tell you, I've never been happier to get home!" Rhys came out of his bedroom. "Hi, Son. I've just been settling in. Hope you don't mind."
"Mind? I have to tell you, a pirate for a father! What a kick! Hey, Rafe, I want you to meet my father. My biological one! Seems my mother committed an indiscretion somewhere along the way."
Rhys frowned at that but let it slide. He put his hand out and shook Rafe's hand. "Very nice to meet you, Rafe! William spoke very highly of you!"
Rafe beamed. "He did? That's always nice to hear. Sometimes I feel like I don't quite fit into the family."
Rhys smiled. "Not the way William talked. He called you a 'fine lad.'"
Daniel took another drink and with a twinkle in his eye, asked, "And what pray tell did he call ME? As if I didn't know!"
Rhys said, "I think he wanted to let me form my own opinions."

Later that night, Daniel changed into a clean pair of jeans and a sweater. Rhys was reading a book William had lent him.
"Going somewhere, son?"
Daniel picked up his car keys. "Yeah, thought I'd go out for a while."
"Where are you going?"
"To a local 'pub' I guess you would call it."
"By yourself?"
"To start out with."
"Will there be drinking?"
"Of course! Jeez, Rhys, you are starting to sound like John..or worse. You're starting to sound like James Gwinnett!"
Rhys looked up from the book. "it's just that I am concerned. You know, this 'father' stuff is pretty new to me."
Daniel laughed. "I have a great idea! Why don't you come with me?"
Rhys hesitated. "Do you think I should?"
"If I didn't want you, I wouldn't ask you. One thing...hard time passing you off as my father and most of these people know I have a brother John. To simplify things, why not just be my cousin Rhys from...Wales, I guess. Visiting for a few weeks."
Daniel threw him one of his jackets. Rhys caught it and said, "Why not?" And they got in Daniel's jeep.

Daniel pulled his Jeep into a parking space between the pickup trucks. "Where are we?" Rhys asked.
Daniel grinned, "A place that has a special place in my heart. I used to sing here. It's called the Dew Drop Inn."
Rhys and Daniel walked into the place. They headed for the bar and grabbed two barstools.
"Hey, Daniel! Haven't seen you in for a while. How have you been?"
"Fine, Verla. How is married life?"
Verla grinned. "Wonderful! Everyone should be committed into this institution."
Then she saw Rhys. Very cooly, she said, "Hello, John. How is Rosamond?"
Rhys cleared his throat and said, "Uh, uh..she's fine..."
"What can I get you two?"
Daniel said, "Two Buds, please."
Verla poured two drafts and walked down to the other end of the bar. "What was that all about?" Rhys whispered. "I thought everyone liked John."
Daniel blew the foam off and took a drink. "Well, this isn't exactly his turf."
Rhys raised his eyebrow. "What? A problem?"
Daniel grinned. "You could say that. You see, Rosamond was married to the owner's nephew. In fact, he just walked in the door!"

Billy Bob walked in wearing his suede fleece-lined jacket. He sauntered over to where Daniel and Rhys were sitting.
Daniel smiled. "Hey, BB, how's it going?"
Billy Bob shrugged, "OK I guess."
Daniel said, "I haven't seen you since our Greek cruise." To Rhys he said, "We got duped along with another guy to the Greek Islands..."
Billy Bob interrupted with, "He knows. He probably was in on the whole thing, too. And by the way, where is that jacket?"
Daniel stood up. "Whoa! Whoa! This isn't John. This is my cousin Rhys from out of town."
Billy Bob looked closely. "What are you, a family of inbreeders from Tennessee?"
Rhys looked questioningly at Daniel. Daniel said, "I guess I had better explain to you. This is Billy Bob Montgomery. Rosamond's ex-husband."
"Her ex-...?"
Billy Bob signaled for Verla to bring him a Bud. He took the seat next to Rhys. BB looked Rhys up and down. "You sure look like John. Bet you could have some fun with THAT situation. Right, Daniel?"
Daniel grew a little uncomfortable. He didn't know how much Rhys knew and for some reason he didn't want to appear bad in his eyes.
Billy Bob took a long drink of his beer. "Yeah, the lovely ex-Mrs. Montgomery. The tramp who married me and then cheated on me with your cousin."
Rhys looked at Daniel, shocked. "DANIEL? YOU RAN AROUND WITH A MARRIED WOMAN?"
Billy Bob said, "No, although Daniel is another story. No, the honorable John Gwinnett. Cuckholder. And jacket-stealer!"

"What are you doing in here, Daniel?"
"Just relaxing. We were gone for a week promoting that mini-series. All of us. Rhys is staying with me for a bit. You been hanging out here regularly?"
Billy Bob downed his Bud. "I've been singing back here again. You know...I kind of got away from it this past year. For obvious reasons."
Daniel turned his back on Billy Bob and mouthed, 'Rosamond' to Rhys. Rhys looked puzzled.
Billy Bob said, "In fact, I'm up for a set in a few minutes. Care to join me onstage and jam? You were one of the best guitar players we had."
Daniel said, "Well, I don't know..."
Rhys said, "Why don't you give it a go, son? I'd like to hear some sea chanties.."
Billy Bob laughed, "Sea chanties! At least you got a sense of humour..Rhys, is it?"
He got off the barstool and said, "I'm up now. Are you gonna jam with us?"
Daniel looked longingly at the stage. Rhys nodded, "I'll be alright. Go ahead. I'd like to see this."
Daniel grinned and said, "OK, Pops! You ain't heard nothin' yet!"

Daniel went on stage and grabbed the spare guitar.
Billy Bob grabbed the mike and started singing-----
Well, I play an old guitar from nine till a half past one
I'm just trying to make a living watching everybody else havin' fun.
Well, I don't miss much if it happens on the dancehall floor.

He hesitated slightly and then nudged Daniel on stage, pointing and then he resumed singing--
Mercy! Look what just walked through that door!
Daniel looked over. In the darkness, he saw Rosamond walk in with Eleanor.
"Eleanor, I don't know if this is such a good idea," Rose said.
Eleanor exclaimed, "Oh, Ro', don't worry! No one you need to worry about comes here anymore, do they? Besides, let's relax with a beer before we go home. All this shopping is stressful and if you are worried about the children, DON'T! Celeste is their granny, she's getting them to bed. John's working late at the fitness center and Jerry had a real estate meeting. One beer and then let's go."
Rose climbed up on the barstool and said, "Verla! How wonderful you look!"
Verla looked over and ran to the other side of the bar counter. "Rosamond! You look positively wonderful! Ready for another go around on Alphonse?"
Rose hugged her. "Marriage to Jake must agree with you. You are glowing!"
Verla laughed. "I know! I work here for Dad about four nights a week. I am going for my real estate license." She looked over at Eleanor and said, "Oh! HI! Eleanor, is it? I am joining the real estate office of your..your...Jerry Palmer. Wonderful man! Kind of took me under his wing! So---what can I get you two ladies?"
El said, "Two Coronas with lime, please!"
Verla walked behind the counter. "It's two for one, ladies drink free!"
Rose and El clicked their beer glasses and said, "Here's to a successful tour!"
Then Rosamond choked on her beer when she looked at the stage. Two of her three worst nightmares were on stage grinning and waving at her. The third one was sitting at the end of the bar, unobserved.


BACK AT THE BIG HOUSE on WINDING WILLOW.......by Coralynn

William hangs up the phone and tells the others, "I just talked with Marilyn about letting Alan Carson in on what really happened. She wasn't sure whether it was a good idea. Alan doesn't know anything about the time travel all of us do, but after we discussed it further, we decided to take a chance on him. This might quell some of the investigation.....or not. If the FBI and Interpol are in on it, Alan would have a hard time getting them to back off."
"Then how do you approach Alan Carson?" Eleanor asks.
"Very carefully."
"What if he thinks you're daft when you mention time travel?" Celeste worries aloud.
William scowls, then replies, "I might have to take him on a quick t/t trip. I know it's risky, but the sooner this whole issue dies down the better."

OVER AT THE POLICE STATION..

Alan Carson answers the phone, "Carson here!"
"Hello, Alan, this is William over on Winding Willow. Seems you have a woman in your jail named WandaSue, is that correct?"
"Sure is! She's been incarcerated here before, but never for a crime of this magnitude. You have any information on her that may help us? The only thing she'll say to any of us is that she's Mrs. William Robert Montgomery."
"She's been a pain in the neck to us ever since she hit town a couple years ago. I do have some information that may prove useful, but I need to see you in person."
"I'll be right over!" Alan hangs up and grabs his winter coat, yelling over his shoulder "Be back in a bit!" as he exits the station.

It takes Alan all of five minutes to arrive at the Big House on Winding Willow. He's let in by William, who hurries him off to the den.
"This may take a while, so let's get you out of that coat," William suggests, taking it and hanging it up in the closet.
"What do you have on this WandaSue person?" Alan asks eagerly.
"There are some factors in this situation that, if you aren't aware of them, make it impossible to understand. For instance, the celebrities who were kidnapped all told you they were taken to a place that resembeled the Arabian Desert, right?"
"Yes! That one is a stumper!"
"I'm going to tell you something that you're going to have a hard time believing, Alan. The fact of the matter is that is was the Arabian Desert."
"She took them half way round the world?! How?"
William lets out an audible breath, then plunges in, "Have you ever heard of time travel?"
"Yeah, in what was it, a Jules Verne science fiction?"
"He used a machine in that tale. In this real life scenario people use time travel coins. Much easier with less bulky equipment to haul around."
"HUH?!"
"Alan, most of the people in this house, plus a few others in the town, are time travelers. Now, if this weren't true, no way would I be telling it to you, because it makes me sound totally insane."
"You've got that right!"
"WandaSue stole a time travel coin from a woman named Sally who lives a few blocks from us. She zapped herself onto the talk shows, grabbed the hosts, and whisked them off to the Exodus."
Alan's eyebrows are almost at his hairline by now. "No way!"
"I wouldn't believe it either if I were you. If you have five minutes to spare, I'd like to show you first hand."
"How?!"
"Just shake hands with me and you'll see." They shake hands and the very second they do, Alan Carson finds they're both in London. Big Ben is tolling out the hour, and the familiar sights of London are unmistakable.
"What? How'd you do that?"
"I just told you. I have a time travel coin. I can go to another place, or I can also go back in time. They're very versatile."
"If that's true, take us back to Colonial times!"
William feels the coin in his pocket, and *zap* they see Puritans and dirt roads.
"Sure looks like Colonial times!" Alan says, amazed, "How about.........."
"This isn't enough to prove it to you?" William asks.
"Yes, it is, but I thought it might be fun to drop in on some other periods of history. However, maybe we oughta save that for another time."
"Exactly," William agrees as he again feels the coin and instructs it to take them back to the big house.
Alan finds himself sitting in the same chair he left but moments before.
"Wow, this is mind-blowing!" he says excitedly, "so this is how she did it, huh?"
"That's how she did it. If this goes to trial the time travel element will come out and it may be disastrous for the rest of us. This is not something we go around broadcasting."
Alan ponders this. "So, if you can go back in time, can you also go forward?"
"Yes. That's how a lot of us came to the 21st century......by going forward."
"From when? where?"
William feels drained after having to prove the validity of time travel and doesn't much feel like explaining anything more, but feels he must. "Some from the 12th century, and as for myself, from the 11th century."
"That would be 10-something, right? OH, no no no, don't tell me.........you're not the real William the Conqueror! No way!"
William says nothing. Alan leans nearer and peers at him closely then asks, "Sure you are! And Eleanor is..........oh God no........of Aquitaine? The woman who looks like Marilyn Monroe is really........"
William nods. Alan's eyes are agleam with excitement.
"Don't get too happy about this, Alan. Now that you know, you have information that explains things to you, but does nothing to explain some of the goings-on to the public at large."
"How do I write up a police report with stuff like this in it?" Alan frowns.
"That's the problem! How do you?"


ROSE & EL HIT THE HIGH-LIGHTS.........by Terri

Rose's face was flaming and her hands were shaking. Partly out of nerves, partly with rage. And a lot of excitement. She hissed at both Daniel and Billy Bob, "You both think you are sooo cool!"
They laughed. Billy Bob said, "Well, you're so hot now, let's see you prove it! Come on, I dare you to sing with me!"
Daniel piped in with, "I double dog dare you."
Billy Bob said, "I triple dog dare you!"
Rose grabbed the microphone. "I'll sing, but not with YOU!"
She started singing,
Just what I need on a night like this,
A long walk in the dark
Someone I can't resist
A little rendezvous
A little mystery
When I look at you
I think that's just what I need....


Daniel and Billy Bob joined her on background vocals.
The crowd roared its approval. Rose realized how much she missed it. She looked at El who raised her bottle to her and saluted her. Then Rose got a wicked idea...and a way to get even. She said into the microphone, "And we have a special guest in the audience! I know she's a Susan Sarandon look-alike....but here we have Eleanor, the Wonder Woman! Let's give her a hand!"
The light shone on El and she blinked. Everyone clapped.
Rose said, "Now, not too many people know it, but Eleanor can really belt 'em out! I think if we clap long and hard, we can get her up here to at least sing backup!"
Eleanor mouthed, 'What are you doing to me?'
The crowd roared its approval. Before she knew it, Eleanor was onstage and was singing backup for Rose. The Coronas didn't hurt. The limes contributed nothing but a smidgen of Vitamin C and bioflavonoids. After 45 minutes, the band took a break. Rose and El stood on stage and took their bows. Daniel and Billy Bob said, "Come on, girls..join us for a beer!"
They shook their heads no. "Chicken!" Daniel laughed.
"OK! That does it!" Rose said. They all sat down and ordered their beers. Daniel motioned Rhys over. He came over tentatively. Rose looked up, panic on her face. "JOHN! I was just..just...just..."
Daniel grinned, "That's Rhys, darlin'!"
Rose jumped up and started to leave. Rhys laid a gentle hand on her arm. "Please, luv, we need to get past this. After all, you are my d..."
Daniel supplied quickly, "Cousin. In-law. Cousin in-law."
Rose raised her eyebrow. Rhys pulled the chair out for her and said softly, "Please, Rose?"
Rose relented and sat down. They made small talk and then the break was over. "Care to do another set, girls?"
They looked at each other and laughed. "Why not!"
El and Rose had the time of their lives and the band never sounded so good.

Eleanor and Rose were sitting by themselves at the bar and someone passed a cigarette to Eleanor. El looked at it and whispered to Rose, "You know what this is?" Rose looked at it. "Looks like a---joint? Is that what they call it?"
El nodded. "Ever try one, Rose?"
Rose shook her head. "You, El?"
El shook her head too.
They looked at each other. "Do we dare?" Rose whispered.
El whispered back. "I don't know. Do we?"
They looked at each other and giggled. El took a match from the bar and struck it, lighting the joint. It burned. They whispered again, "Should we?" Rose asked.
El said, "You go first."
"No, you!"
"Why me?"
"Because...well, because I'm a mother! And you are more adventurous. After all, you rode bare in the Crusades."
"Back. Bare-back."
El looked at it and then put it to her lips. Rose's eyes grew round as El inhaled. She closed her eyes and held the smoke in. She passed it to Rose who did the same. They passed it back and forth, back and forth. And burst out laughing.

They started giggling and couldn't stop. Rose's cellphone rang. "Hiya!" Rose answered. El burst out laughing.
"Don't 'hiya' me! Where the hell are you?"
Rose looked at El. El crossed her eyes and stuck her tongue out. Rose fought for control.
"Oh! Hello, darling! El and I were out shopping and we stopped at this tea room for tea and crumpets."
John yelled, "At 11:00 PM at night?? Jerry is here and he's worried about Eleanor too. We were supposed to play cards tonight, remember?"
Rose mouthed, cards? to El. El snapped her fingers and said, "Damn! Forgot!"
Rose burst out laughing and couldn't stop. She started hiccuping. John demanded, "Rose Gwinnett, what is going on? I want an explanation and I WANT IT NOW!"
That made Rose laugh all the harder. She hung up on John and turned to Eleanor. "I think we are in the soup! Think we should get out of this...."
"JOINT??" They both said together and then another round of giggling.

Daniel pointed to Billy Bob. "I think there's trouble over there with Rosamond and Eleanor. Look!"
El and Rose were still passing the joint between them and totally out of control.
Daniel sauntered over to them. "Problem, ladies?"
That brought a fresh round of giggles. Billy Bob joined Daniel. "Uh, oh, like the song said, 'well, hello, t-r-o-u-b-l-e' . Ladies, you are...STONED!"

Eleanor reached in her purse and pulled out a pack of gum. She said, "I have to drive home. We are in dutch with the fellas!"
Daniel gently took the pack of gum away from El. "What do you intend to do, chew your way home?"
Rose slid down on the barstool and whispered, "I feel soo..slurpy! Syrupy! That's the word! Like Hershey's chocolate pouring over a BIIIIGGG mound of ice cream. Vanilla ice cream!"
El said dreamily, "Oooh! Vanilla ice cream!"
Daniel raised his eyebrow. Billy Bob sighed. "OK--you drive Eleanor's car home and I will follow you. Maybe we can fix it so that the 'fellas' don't know how they really got home."
Daniel walked over and got Rhys. "Dad? Uh...Rhys? Rose and El are a bit under the weather so we are taking them home."
Rhys looked at the women who were uncontrollably laughing. "Are they allright?"
"Yes, just a bit too...smoky in here for them."
Billy Bob said to Daniel, "Better get Eleanor and her keys. I'll put Rosamond in my truck. Ready, angel?"
Rose sat there hiccuping. "Can you stand, Sugar?"
Rose stood and slid down the bar, giggling all the way. BB sighed and slung her over his shoulder.
Someone yelled out, "Glad to see you two are back together, BB!"

Daniel and Rhys took Eleanor on either side of her arms and guided her gently over to her car. She giggled, "Really, you two! I can drive...honest!" She looked from one to the other. "Are you sure you aren't oreo cookies and I am the creamy white filling? OOOH! OREOS!" Daniel took the keys out of El's purse and he and Rhys poured her into the back seat. She slid down onto the floorboard, giggling and laughing all the way.
Billy Bob pulled up in his truck, Rose next to him.
"Let's quietly drive them into the carpark out back and then escort them to the door and then run like hell out of there! I don't want Gwinnett thinking I got her in this condition." Billy Bob turned to Rose and grinned, "Like old times at the Dew Drop Inn, huh, Sugar?"
And they headed towards Chappaqua and Winding Willow.

Daniel pulls Eleanor' car up into the carpark, cutting the lights. Billy Bob parked his truck just outside the gates.
"OK, Cinderella, the ball is over and you need to get inside before you turn to a pumpkin."
Rose turned to Billy Bob and said dreamily, "Pumpkin? Pumpkin pie? Pumpkin bread? Pumpkin mousse? Meese?" Then she went into gales of laughter.
He opened the door and took her out by the arms. She tried to walk but was having great difficulty.
Daniel opened the back door of Eleanor's car and grabbed her by her ankles and slid her out the door. Rhys helped him right her.
"Honest, I'm OK, I'm OK, " she said.
Billy Bob steered Rosamond down to where Eleanor was standing. "You girls OK?"
Rose said, "I couldn't be better. You, El?"
Eleanor said, "Sure. We're fine. We're cool."
"You sure?" Daniel asked. "I mean, can you handle the guys in there?"
El said, "Piece of cake."
Rose said, "Oooh! Cake!"
They burst out laughing. Billy Bob crooked his finger and beckoned Rosamond over. "I had a real nice time, Rosamond. Kind of like the way we used to be." He tilted her face towards him and gave her a gentle kiss. Then he turned to Daniel and Rhys and said, "We'd better get out of here before someone inside notices us. We don't want to get involved in any long explanations."
They stood at the edge of the property and waited until Rose and El finally got the door open.
The three of them hustled over to Billy Bob's truck. Billy Bob glanced back and saw the door shut. He sighed in regret and pulled out towards the Dew Drop Inn.


STONE COLD PICNIC........by Terri

Rosamond whispered to Eleanor, "You go in first."
El whispered back, "Why me?"
"Because you and Jerry are going together."
"That makes no sense. You and John are married."
"So?"
"So I have more to lose than you do. John will not divorce you because you sang at the Dew Drop Inn."
"I DID??"
"We both did...didn't we?"
Rose shrugged. "I can't remember."
Eleanor tried to get her keys out of her purse.
"El? What is it you have in your hand?"
Eleanor burst out laughing. "My keys. Shhh! Not a word on how we really got home. How do I look?"
Rose started to giggle but caught herself. "OK! Straight face. Remember we were at a tea room for tea and strumpets." "Crumpets."
"What did I say?"
"Strumpets. Both very useful but hardly interchangeable."
Rose fluffed up her hair and tried to put her lipstick on.
Eleanor took it away from her. "Uh, Rose? It goe on your lips. Not your cheeks."
"OH. OK--let's go in."
Eleanor carefully opened the door and said pseudo-cheerfully, "Hi, Guys! We're home!"

John stood there with his hands on his hips and glared. "WHERE THE HELL HAVE THE TWO OF YOU BEEN?"
Jerry joined him with the same look. El and Rose looked innocently at each other and then at the two men. Then they looked around them. Rose said, "Who, US?"
John snapped, "YES---YOU! "
El said, "OH! US! We went to a tea room. You know, little frosted cakes and petit fours and hot jasmine tea."
Jerry looked unbelievingly at them. "Jasmine tea. Right."
Rosamond contributed, "Yes, we went to that meeting. What was it again, Eleanor? It was like the DAR--but not."
Eleanor put on her most regal face. "The Daughters of Fine Line. Line-lineage. That's it. Fine Lineage. That's us. Why, can't you tell?"
Jerry glared, "The dress code must really have been relaxed. Since when do they let their members come in jeans and boots? They require black dresses, little white gloves and pearls. You two looked like you just came from the barrio."
Rosamond grew indignant. "A BAR?? I don't THINK so, Mr. Palmer!"
Jerry tried not to laugh because he was still steamed at Eleanor. John curtly said, "A barrio. A Spanish neighborhood. Usually unsavory."
"Oh." Rose said.

Jerry picked up his keys. "I think cards are out of the picture for tonight. So I will bid you adieu, Eleanor...Rose. John? Call me in the morning for racquetball. I'll be glad when springs comes and we can golf again."
"Will do, Jerry. Sorry the night was a bust," John said.
Rosamond said, "I think I will go to bed."
Eleanor said, "Me too."
No sooner had they started up the stairs when someone knocked at the door. It was Jerry again.
"Sorry to bother you. I have a dead battery. Might I wait here for AAA?" Eleanor said, "Oh, don't be a poop, Jerry! You may as well stay over and call them in the morning."
Jerry grinned. "Great! It's cold and dark out there."
John grabbed Rose by the elbow and steered her towards the stairs. "Rose and I will bid you both goodnight," he said.
Rose's voice was heard as they walked upstairs, "What does Alcoholics Anonymous have to do with fixing cars...?"

Jerry and Eleanor were heading upstairs too.
"Glad William is already in bed, El. He gives THAT LOOK."
Eleanor said, "Don't worry about him. He's too old to understand."
Jerry asked, "Care to tell me what really went on, Eleanor?"
"Nothing. Rose and I just stopped for tea and time just kind of got away from us."
Jerry looked dubiously at her. "OK. We'll let it go at that, Eleanor. But one thing you might want to remember..."
"What?"
"THAT SMELL gets in your hair. You smell like burning rope."
"Oh."
"Yes. Oh. Hopefully John isn't up on the '60's to notice it. But I went to college, El. You can't fool me."

Rosamond came out of the shower and grabbed for her robe. She checked on the children and then slipped into bed. John was already in bed. "OK, Rosamond. Where were you? I don't buy that tea and crumpet crap. That's a load."
Rosamond said, "You're right, John. I lied. We didn't have crumpets. We had cookies. If you don't believe me, I'll get notarized statements from the waitress and the old man who sat in the corner booth. Now please let me get some sleep. I have a tremendous headache."
John snapped, "FINE WITH ME!" He rolled over and yanked most of the covers with him. Rose yanked them back. John yanked them again and Rosamond went flying over the side of the bed.
"NOT FAIR! You're bigger than I am!" She crawled back in bed. He relented and gave her half the blankets.

Rosamond laid in the dark, staring at the ceiling. She began to get a little panicky at the thought of the whole evening. Being at the Dew Drop Inn. Singing on stage with those two. And that funny little cigarette. What if someone from the fitness center was there? Would they tell John? And Daniel..DANIEL!! Oh, I'm dead meat now! He'll tell John and then... I'm hungry! Hungry? I AM STARVING!
She leaned over and heard the gentle steady breathing of John. Thank goodness he's asleep. This would be one of those times that snoring would come in handy.

She grabbed her robe and tiptoed downstairs. Being quiet not to wake anyone, she opened the refrigerator and surveyed its contents. Hmm..... "HEY!"
Rose jumped a mile and hit her head on the freezer door. "OW! ^&%$%$!! What's the big idea?"
She turned around. It was Eleanor with a big grin on her face. "You too, Ro'?"
Rose nodded. They looked at each other and burst out laughing. "Shhh!" El said. "We don't want to wake up anyone!"
Rose pulled a half-gallon of cookie dough icecream out of the freezer. El said, "I'll get the spoons."
Rose said, "Not the regular spoons. Get the soup spoons!"
"Gotcha! And some potato chips to crumble on the top!"
Rosamond pulled out a platter and lifted the foil. "Oooooh! William's been b-b-q-ing again! Just look, El!"
Eleanor sniffed appreciatively. "I just love good b-b-q, don't you?"
Rose took a rib and took a nibble. "Mmm...he put sugar and brandy on these!"
Eleanor took out a tupperware bowl. She unburped the lid. "German potato salad. Celeste's special. With extra bacon!"
Rosamond looked in the cookie jar. "Just where I left them! Mounds bars! Or are they Almond Joys?"
Eleanor shrugged, "Does it matter?"
Eleanor resumed perusing the fridge. "Three bean salad and cherry cheescake."
Rose looked up from dishing out the ice cream. "BRING IT ON!"
The girls sat there happily eating their smorgasbord.
"Oooh, El! This tastes just so wonderful! It's like my tastebuds are bursting!"
El sighed happily. "It's an orgiastic feast for the senses! This barbeque sauce is divine! The gods from Olympus must have sent out for it when they tired of pizza!"
"Pass me some of that shrimp cocktail! OH! And those cheese-stuffed olives!"
Eleanor giggled. "We have the best of both worlds! Heightened senses and the best chef this side of the Big Pond!"

"A-hem!!!"
Rose turned to Eleanor. "Uh-oh. Did you hear that?"
El said, "Yes, I did. Don't turn around. Maybe it's a mouse and it will go away."
Rose stood still. "Is that mouse still there?"
El said, "I think so."
She turned slowly and looked into four eyes. Jerry's and John's. El giggled, "Whoops! BUSTED, Rose!"
Rose turned around. The spoon was still in her mouth. "Ooops!" she said quietly.

John put his hands on his hips and glared again. It was becoming a regular pose with him lately. Jerry tried not to smile and tightened the belt on his robe.
John's eyes swept over the food and he yelled, "JUST WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?! Look at all this food! Are you out of your minds? And the combination! If the two of you aren't puking your guts out, I'll be amazed!"
"Uh...I got hungry. And I ran into Eleanor. That's all. No problem. We'll clean it up."

The girls quietly put the food away, trying not to giggle. John stood there with his arms crossed. "If I didn't see it with my own eyes, I wouldn't have believed it myself."
Jerry just put his hand on John's shoulder and said, "I wouldn't worry about it, John. It's a temporary thing."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. It's called...THE MUNCHIES!"


SWEET DREAMS ARE MADE OF THESE....by Terri

The doorbell rang. "I'm coming, I'm coming..." Billy Bob grumbled. Outside the rain came down in sheets. The thunder roared and lightning streaked across the sky.
Billy Bob opened the door. There stood Rosamond in her raincoat, her hair drenched and she was shivering. "Do you mind if I come in?"
"No, not at all." Billy Bob was shocked. He stood aside and ushered her in. He helped her out of her raincoat.
"Sugah, what are you doing out on a night like this?"
Rosamond shivered and was shaking. "Pl-pl-please, do you have a towel I can use?"
Billy Bob took her by the elbow. "I have a better idea. Why don't you take a hot shower and get into a nice warm robe? There probably is one behind the door."
Rosamond nodded wordlessly. She headed upstairs and in a minute, Billy Bob heard the shower go on.
He went to the bar and fixed two hot toddies. Extra heavy on the brandy. He lowered the lights and lit a couple candles. Soft jazz on the CD player...and a shot of binaca for the mouth and some Stetson cologne... Rosamond came downstairs wrapped in Billy Bob's terrycloth robe which looked huge on her. He handed her a toddy. She accepted it gratefully. He sat on the couch and patted a space next to him. Rosamond sat down and tucked her legs under her.
Billy Bob looked deep into her eyes. "Do you want to tell me why you are here?"
Rosamond's eyes filled with tears. "He found out about tonight..he found out about me singing at the Dew Drip Inn.."
"Drop."
"What?"
"Drop. Dew DROP Inn."
"What did I say?"
"Drip."
"Oh."
Rosamond pulled the robe around her tighter and closed her eyes. "It was terrible. The names! The yelling! I am surprised it didn't wake the entire household up. I had to get away...and then I got caught in this storm. I found myself driving in the direction of the ranch..and then I couldn't drive any further. My car got stuck in the mud at the side of the road. I--I think it was meant to be. Me ending up here. Oh, BB, I've been such a fool! SUCH a fool!" She looked at Billy Bob with her blue eyes brimming with tears.
He took her toddy out of her hand and took her face tenderly in his hands and kissed her gently. She closed her eyes and said breathlessly, "Oh, how I have missed you!"
He whispered huskily, "You still take my breath away, darling....."
She moved closer to him. She whispered, "Just like that time in Austin...."


*BRING! BRING*
Billy Bob shot up in his bed. He reached over and tried to shut off his alarm clock. Finally he threw it against the wall. He reached over to the space next to him in the bed.
Empty.
He fell back against his pillow. Will these dreams ever stop?



HOME AT THE RANCH....by Coralynn

It's the next morning.
Billy Bob Montgomery switches off the TV. "Damn that WandaSue!"
He runs his hands through his hair and pours a cup of coffee just as the phone rings.
Picking it up with one hand while he pours with the other, he says "hello," warily, and when he hears "Travis McGee here!" his stomach feels like he's been punched. Oh no, not that clown!
"Mr. Montgomery," Travis continues, "We have a person named WandaSue in our jail who insists that she is, to quote her, 'Mrs. William Robert Montgomery.' In fact, that's the only thing she says no matter what question she is asked. Surely you're aware that she's been arrested for kidnapping celebrities off their talk shows."
"Yes, I'm aware of it," BB replies, figuring that everyone is aware of it by now, and knowing about it in no way implicates him.
"Is this true? Is she your wife?"
"Technically yes, but we've been estranged and living apart for many years," BB takes a sip of the coffee, which burns his tongue. Gads, that hurts!!
"Bail has been posted for 50 thousand dollars. Are you interested in bailing her out?"
"Not really."
"So we're stuck with her."
"Bingo!"
"Thank you for your help, Mr. Montgomery. We'll be in touch. Please do not leave town for the forseeable future, we may need to ask you more questions."
BB hangs up and moans, "What horrible karma have I created that I should be tormented by that miserable wreck of a woman? I'll have to file for divorce........today!"

INSANITY YOU SAY?.......by Coralynn

Alan Carson tries to think of a way to get rid of the problem of WandaSue. As William told him, this must not go to trial!
Gotta get rid of her, he thinks, as he enters his office and pulls down the shades so as not to be disturbed. Gotta get the FBI off the case, same thing with Interpol, but how? He's deep in thought when his door suddenly flies open and Travis sticks his head in, "Phoned up Montgomery and he says he won't pay her bail!" he announces.
"My shades are drawn, McGee, that means do...not....disturb!" Alan yells at him.
"But.......but......"
"Go away!" Alan glares at Travis, who gets the message and closes the door again.
He hears more commotion outside his door, so he opens it and sees the Court assigned lawyer entering; being escorted by Travis McGee, who is bragging all about how he captured the criminal and God knows what else. Alan sighs.
Just a minute, he thinks, her Lawyer! Yes! I'll have to plant the idea in his mind that she should plead insanity! That way no matter what cockamamie thing she says, she'll be insane and no one will take her seriously, plus maybe this whole thing will go away, and so will she, hopefully to a maximum security mental hospital.

Alan enters the small room in which the Lawyer and WandaSue have just sat down to talk. "Glad to meet you," he extends his hand to the lawyer, "I'm Alan Carson, police chief."
"Lumony Snocket!" the lawyer replies, shaking hands.
Lumony Snocket? What kind of name is that?!
Snockett is very tall, with a nose that runs the entire length of his face. Alan stares; he's never seen a nose quite like that. Snockett notices the stare and asks, "SO?! What do you want, Mr. Police Chief? I'm conferring with my client, and I believe having you in here is against procedure. Surely you know that."
"Oh yes, quite. But I was concerned that you be apprised of the fact that our prisoner here is quite out of her mind, and wondered if you are considering an insanity plea."
Snocket sneers, "Now why on earth would you suggest that? Leave!"
By now his eyebrow, which is a monobrow, has knitted together even more tightly and he looks quite ominous. Alan leaves, hoping he's at least given WandaSue an idea that may not have occurred to her before.

WandaSue seizes on the idea immediately. "Mr. Snockett, I am an ill woman. I hear voices, I see things that other people tell me aren't there. I have hallucinations. I have fits which leave me totally out of touch with reality. I have......."
"So you want to go for an insanity plea, do you?" Snockett wonders if she's in league with the police chief. No, that makes no sense.
"Oh yes. In fact, right now I see a large elephant standing behind you. Watch out! He's about to trample you! Hurry! Move!"
Snocket knows a con when he sees one, but waits to see what other behavior she may exhibit.
Wandasue begins to swat at the air, "Huge moths are attacking me!" she wails.
Snockett sighs and decides he'd better call in for a psychiatric evaluation.
"I'll have a psychiatrist come to see you today, Miss.......what's your last name?"
"Montgomery. I am Mrs. William Robert Montgomery! OH! Watch out! There's a bat nesting in your hair!"
Snockett knows there is no such thing, but runs his hand over his head almost involuntarily.
WandaSue then starts talking......"oh yes, you say kill.......kill?........I am the avenging angel of death?.........I am to take everyone in town to Valhalla? I have to kill them all?........all?....." she goes on and on talking to an imaginary voice in her head.
Snockett shakes his head in disbelief and gestures for the guard outside the door to escort the prisoner back to her cell.
The guard enters and grabs WandaSue by the arm, propelling her toward the door. She keeps muttering, "......my voices tell me I must kill everyone in town........" as she and the guard walk past Alan's now open office door.
"YES!!" he thinks and would have given himself a high-5 had no one been looking.

WANDASUE GETS WACKY.....by Coralynn

The psychiatrist holds up an inkblot and Wandasue responds, "Charles Manson."
Sylvia McGrath turns the card around to get a good look at it and thinks, 'It really looks like a butterfly, but if she thinks it looks like Manson...." then holds up another.
"Totally Charles Manson!" WandaSue says, doing all she can to drool. It's not easy; she only has so much saliva, but what she does have she sends down her chin.
The next inkblot is held up.
WandaSue starts to breathe heavily, and finally says, "Ohhh Charles! You want to do it......where? You naughty boy!"
Sylvia returns the ink blot pages to the file and closes it. This is no good.
"So, Miss.......you said you were Mrs. Montgomery, right? Where did you grow up?"
"On Uranus!" WandaSue claps her hands in delight, "A lot of people mispronounce the name of my home planet, ever notice that?"
"Uh huh," Sylvia says, then, "Did you have any siblings?"
WandaSue cocks her head to the side and puts her hand to her ear, "What was that? What did you say, Charles? The whole town? You want me to kill the whole town?"
"Did.....you.....have......any.....siblings!" Sylvia tries again.
WandaSue's eyes become round with fright as she looks straight at Sylvia and yells, "They were all machines! All of them! Everyone but me, that is. I had to be verrrrrry careful not to let them know I was human. Machines like to eat humans, just tear their flesh from their bones, don't cha know, but I outfoxed them."
Sylvia is about the ask her next question when WandaSue blurts out, "You! You're in league with them, I can tell! You're not human, you're a machine and you want to harvest my organs and feed them to the other machines.......no.......let me out of here! Help! Help!"
WandaSue goes to the door and pounds furiously on it.
She writes on her preliminary report, "WandaSue Montgomery behaves erratically. Delusional, possible paranoid. May have taken too much LSD and related drugs in her teens. Mentally unbalanced."
"Thank you," she says politely as she gathers up her materials and begins walking to the door. WandaSue makes a dive for her legs, which throws Sylvia to the floor, screaming, "Traitor! Traitor! Murderer!"
A guard, watching through the little glass window in the door, runs in and assists Sylvia to her feet, then grabs WandaSue as another guard enters the room and slides a restraining vest on her.
She throws back her head and gives forth a blood-curdling laugh, which, because the door is partly open, is heard all over the police station. Alan Carson, in his office, thinks, "Ahhh, the maniacal laugh! You go, girl!"

MENTAL EVALUATION #2...by Coralynn

Dr. Richard Lawrence is the foremost expert in the entire country on the subject of the criminally insane, but even he blanches when he walks into the examination room and sees a green haired woman with bloody spots on her body.
WandaSue tries not to laugh. That last touch was genius, babydoll, she congratulates herself, turning my hair green. And since my nose bleeds easily, all I had to do was rough it up and get a good stream flowing. No problem getting it smeared on strategic places. Look at that psychiatrist....he looks stunned. Good!
She reaches out with one hand made like a claw and hisses at him.
"Miss...can you answer a few questions for me?" he asks formally.
"Hissssssssss!"
"Do you know what year this is?"
"Hisssss. Yowl!"
"Do you know in which state you live?"
"Yeeeeeeeeoooooowllllll!"
"I see. Well, then, I've been told you hear voices in your head telling you what to do. Can you tell me what they tell you?"
WandaSue turns on her maniacal laugh again and starts rocking back and forth, still on her hands and knees.
Dr. Lawrence writes on his pad of paper, but stops when he hears a most unpleasant singing voice coming from the prisoner.
"Memory......all alone in the moonlight.....must the...whatever whatever, they are lonely again....."
She looks up at him and grins, then proceeds across the floor toward him on all fours.
He looks up from the pad he's been writing on, but not in time to prevent her from suddenly leaping onto his lap, licking his face.
He automatically shoves her off onto the floor and thinks, This woman is a danger to herself and others. Definitely a candidate for the mental hospital, the sooner the better!

To prevent any further bizarre threats to his person, he gestures for the guard to enter and take the prisoner back to her cell. The guard enters, and slaps a restraining shirt on WandaSue so she is somewhat immobilized, and leads her away.
Dr. Richard Lawrence gathers up his materials and walks out. As he passes Alan Carson's office, the other man looks up questioningly.
"The woman is mad, totally out of her mind," Richard tells him as he heads out, "Keep her in restraints. I'm going to file a petition with the Judge to have her remanded to a mental institution for the criminally insane as soon as transportation can be arranged."

When Alan sees the door close behind Richard Lawrence, he walks to WandaSue's jail cell and peers in to see what there is to see, as in: why did Lawrence adjudicate her as insane?
She's in the process of rinsing the green out of her hair at the little sink bowl, which, being so small, is taking forever. When she sees Alan standing there, she brings her head back up and smiles, "I did it. No trial. I'm insane, dontcha know?"
"How did you turn your hair green?" he asks.
"Green food coloring. I carry it with me everywhere. This little bottle was to add to the bathroom gin so I could have green gin for St. Patty's Day in March."
"You make your own gin?!"
"Why not? Hey, did that guy tell you I was nuts and imcompetent to stand trial?"
"He did. I also said you were going to be transported to the maximum security mental ward for the criminally insane."
"Whatever!" she flips her hand in the air, then goes back wiping the blood off her arms and legs.
"No, not whatever," Alan tells her, "There's a difference between being insane and being criminally insane. Since you've put yourself in the latter category, you'll be put in a more stringent environment than you would had you just proven insanity and left the dangerous behaviour alone."
"Oh yeah? He thought I was dangerous, did he? HA! That was just my imitation of "Cats".....now there was a musical to end all musicals! I must have seen that puppy, you'll pardon the expression, 25 times!"
"You told the first psychiatrist that Charles Manson's voice was in your head telling you to kill everyone in town. That might have been a factor, too, Wandasue."
"Hey! You gave me the idea!" she objects.
"I never suggested you act like an ax murderer!" he's losing patience with her now.
"Oh well, at least there won't be a trial! Look, Copper, when I do something, I do it all the way. Big, huge. No small baby steps for this kid!" she says proudly.
Alan walks away, thinking, Why do I care? She did it to herself! And as for those little baby steps she says she never takes?.....they'll have her so restrained she'll be lucky if she can hobble across her room at the nut house.


MOOSE MEETS THE REAL THING....by Coralynn

Moose hangs up the phone and smiles broadly at Marilyn, "Rhys Morgan is going to come over later today to look at my novel. Can you imagine? He's the real deal! Since I still have some time before my dealine, I may add some details I get from him."
"It's really exciting to have a Pirate around," Marilyn exclaims, "but really, if you didn't know he was a pirate, you'd never guess. He's very polite and gentlemanly."
"Is he your type?" Moose examines her face.
"My type?! He's a gentleman, that's good, but so are you. He's handsome, but then so are you."
"You're being kind, Marilyn. Nothing about me could stir a woman's blood like a pirate could. I'm just Moose, who writes romance novels and teaches one class at the fitness center. How exciting is that?"
"But Matthew, you have.......uh....magnetism......charisma!" she throws her arms around him and plants one right on his lips, then pulls away, embarrassed, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to....."
Moose grabs her and says, "Sorry? I'm not! Now, where were we?"

No one will ever know where this kiss might have led, as the doorbell rings at that moment.
Moose pulls away, annoyed. "Now who is that?!" he grumbles as he walks to the front door, opens it, and sees Rhys Morgan standing there.
"I know I'm early, but I just couldn't stand the suspense any longer," he says as he steps inside, "You say you have things that Magaera wrote?"
"Yes! They were in an old wodden chest up in the attic; put there many years ago and forgotten until I stumbled upon them. Come into my den and I'll show them to you."
As the walk to the den, Rhys sees Marilyn, and, tipping his head toward her in acknowledgment, asks Moose, "You have a lady friend?"
"I have a friend who is a lady," Moose corrects him, "she usually lives over in the big house on Winding Willow, but is here for awhile, long story."
"Does she know about Meggie and me?"
"Yes, she does."
"Then could she come with us while I see the letters and mementoes?"
"Marilyn! You're invited!" Moose says loudly so that she can hear him as they advance down the hall toward the den.
She hurries to catch up and within minutes the three are seated around a desk that holds the wooden box, the letters and mementoes.
Rhys takes the letters, the parchment, and reads them carefully. Moose and Marilyn remain silent to give Rhys the chance to be alone in his own mind and with his own memories.
When Rhys has finished reading everything, he looks somber, "She waited. She did. She didn't want to marry James Gwinett. Her father made her do it. She was still waiting for me right up to the end. I should have known!"
Moose puts his hand on the other man's shoulder and hands him something that he'd missed seeing, something pushed to the back of one of the drawers of the wooden box. A ring.
Rhys' eyes mist up as he turns it over and over and reads the inscription. "She kept this all the years of her life. What a tragedy for her......and for me. I shouldn't have listened when her father said she was happily married. I should have tracked her down, gone to the ends of the earth to find her!"
"She never stopped loving you," Marilyn states the obvious, but in a voice that communicates her sympathy.
Rhys nods his head several times and reaches for a tissue. Wiping off his face, he tells Moose, "I'm glad you're writing this into a book. Let me tell you what it was like from my experience and...."
"I was hoping you'd offer that," Moose responds, "I hope you don't mind if I tape this as you tell me. I want to make sure I write it up accurately and don't leave out a thing."
Moose begins........and an hour and a half later ends.
By now Marilyn is openly crying, so she leaves the room and goes into the bathroom to splash water on her face.
When she returns, Moose is saying, "Rhys, I'd like it very much if you could move in with us here, as there are so many things we could yet discuss."
"I feel obligated to stay with my son Daniel for another few days," Rhys tells him, "but after that I'll be glad to move here. Very glad. When I feel sad I can touch these letters, the letters written by Meggie's own hand, and feel close to her once again."


BESS HAS A BIRTHDAY..........by Coralynn

"Isn't your birthday in a few days, Bess?" Eleanor asks as they clear the dishes off the table.
"YES! My first birthday here with you."
"I think it would be fun to throw you a party!" William adds, "With cake, candles, dancing..."
"I love to dance!" Bess' eyes light up. "I would love to dance with Rhys Morgan, too. What a hunk!"
"I wonder though, might he be behind the times when it comes to dancing?" El muses.
"I know, I can teach him!" Bess is not to be discouraged.
William looks up from his newspaper, "That I'd like to see. It could be more fun than the actual party."
"I learned ballroom dancing by watching television," Bess says proudly. "And I have just the right dress....."
William and Eleanor laugh and both say, "Go for it!"

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