ALL HALLOWS EVE

WE WANT A PARTY!.....by Coralynn

Marthy comes into the living room carrying several books and comments, "We didn't have Halloween back at court in the 12th Century. This book shows some of the great costumes people dress up in. I want to do it!! Can we, William, can we?"
William lowers his newspaper to the floor and sighs, "I'm not the house leader this month, Marthy, Marilyn is. Ask her."
Marthy skips off happily. Oh good, Marilyn is always ready for a good time. Bess and Jack hear this conversation and go with her to where Marilyn is typing away on a new novel.
"Writing anything really exciting this time?" Marthy asks, "Like robbers and fair maidens and creepy old villains...."
"Oh yes, all of those. You look like you have a question, Marthy."
"Oh YES! William said to ask you because you're the house leader this month.......can we have a Halloween party tomorrow night? Please?"
"Think you can put one together in 24 hours?"
"YES!" Bess climes in, "There's a big costume store at the Mall, I noticed. Can we?"
"Sure! Why not?" Marilyn smiles at their youthful exhuberance. What can it hurt, after all??

Marthy gets right to work on contacting everyone. "We want to have the guys over at the Castle," she tells Bess, "and the ones living in the blue house and the house on Elmwood Avenue.........everybody!"
"Just don't invite Grace!" they hear William bellow from the other room.
Jack is confused, "But doesn't she have a couple children who would enjoy a party?"
William comes into the dining room, which is serving as command central for the party planning. "I thought this was a party for adults!"
Marilyn hears this and joins the group, "Then we dare not invite Daniel, as he is about as immature as they come. Do you mean adult in the sense that they look full grown, or adult as in they behave like grown-ups?"
"I thought I made myself clear about Daniel!" William's ire is evident, "He is not to set foot in this house ever again!"
Marilyn laughs, "But that was when you were the house leader, William. This month I am, and for the next day or so I still am, so if I say they can invite the great lug, then....."
William throws his hands up, "Alright! Go ahead! But don't come crying to me when pandemonium breaks loose!"
Marilyn smiles at the three young people, "Go ahead. Invite everyone. What can it hurt?"


BESS: MALL RAT..........by Coralynn

Halloween morning is crisp and clear. Bess awakens, then realizes this is the day of the party and leaps out of bed, throwing on her robe, running to where Marthy is still dead to the world.
Shaking her, she keeps repeating, "We've gotta get to the Mall! Wake up!"
Marthy eventually stirs, and, looking at her watch says, "But it's only 6:30 in the morning, Bess! When does the mall open, anyway? Not for hours!"
"The costume store opens at 9!"
"How do you know that?"
"I took a good look when we were there the other day, and it opens at 9! Get up, eat breakfast, we want to be the first ones there!"
"Oooohhhh, alright," Marthy sits up, fumbling around for her bedroom slippers. Bess finds them and jams them on Marthy's feet, handing her a bathrobe.
They walk out into the living room. No one there. The dining room. William is there reading his morning papers, all 5 of them.
"Well, good morning, ladies! You're up bright and early!"
"We want to be the first ones at the costume store at the Mall, William!" Bess explains.
William peers at her over the top of his glasses, "May I enquire about your guest list? Who is coming and hopefully who is not?"
"Ohhh everyone said they were coming! We didn't get one turn-down!" Marthy says gleefully, "I told them to get over to the Mall this morning too, so we may see them there. Isn't this exciting? A real Halloween party! I read this book about them and it says you can dunk for apples, and, borrowing from another tradition whack a pinata, and play 'Pin the Tail on the Donkey'.........remind me to buy that, won't you, Bess? We have to have the real thing, after all."
"And just what does that entail?" William raises one eyebrow.
"Oh you're funny! En-tail?! Well, you blindfold one person at a time, turn them round and round, then shove them toward the wall where the big poster is. They have a paper tail with a pin on it, and if they manage to stick it about where the donkey's tail should be, they win!" Marthy is exuberant.
"How very, very uhhhhhhh, shall we say, exciting?" William says in a droll voice.
"You'll see! You'll see!"
"And I suppose we'll have to pass out treats to the trick or treaters?" William suggests.
"Right! Better put that on the list, too. 25 bags on candy. Think that oughta do it?" Bess asks.
William shakes his head, "The new cases of juvinile diabetes will climb alarmingly amongst the children who visit this house! The medical profession will call Winding Willow a 'cluster' area. That doesn't bother you ladies?"
"You're funny!" Bess punches him in the shoulder. He doesn't like being punched anywhere, and that shoulder in particular has begun to give him twinges, but he restrains his normal reaction and, rubbing it gingerly, goes out back to put out some bird-seed for the winged creatures that don't fly south for the winter.

MEANWHILE:

The phone rings insistently at Sally Jennings' house. She reaches over to the nightstand and pulls the receiver to her ear, "What?!" she says crossly.
"Did I wake you up?"
"Ohhhh, WandaSue, that's OK. I was awake," she lies.
"I had a thought! Let's go trick or treating tonight!"
"What's that?!"
"You didn't celebrate Halloween back in 1733?"
"No."
"Then you'll love it! You go door to door collecting up treats. Usually candy. If they don't give you a treat, you soap their windows and throw eggs at their house. Makes an awful mess and is great fun! Wanna do it?"
"Why not?"
"But we need to dress up in costumes."
"Why?"
"Because everyone does is why. And....in a costume they can't tell who you are!"
"I like that last part," Sally says as she gets out of bed and grabs the cordless so she can walk and talk.
"OK, I'll pick you up at 8:45 in a taxi. My almost brand new car has decided not to start, and I'm not going to even deal with it till next Monday. So look for a yellow cab and be ready.....the costume store opens at 9."
"See you then!" Sally says and hangs up.
Sally looks at the clock on the wall. 7 a.m. That gives me almost two hours to do other things, but what? She turns on the TV and sees an exercise program. The people are jumping all over, flailing their arms around in time to some music. She tries it and gives up. These 21st century people are pretty stupid, she concludes. Of course WandaSue is fine.......she hates men just like I do. She likes to play tricks on people, just like I do. She doesn't mind creating a few enemies along the way, either, just like me.
Costume, huh? I'll have to look them over and see if any of them appeal to me.
I could dress up like an angel, that would throw people off! she chuckles as she turns on the shower.


CRISIS IN AISLE SEVEN!.................by Coralynn

The clock on the wall inside the costume store shows 8:58 a.m. Brenda, who has the misfortune of having been scheduled to work today, says to Homer, the owner of the store, "We have mobs of people out there. Why don't they buy their costumes earlier? Why do they wait till the last minute?"
"It happens this way every year," Homer tells her as they hear people yelling, "Open up! Would it kill ya to open up two minutes early?" and such.
"You want to unlock that door or shall I?" Branda asks, hoping that Home will volunteer, but he's walking to the back of store. Coward! she thinks as she slides the key into the lock and turns, then yanks up the metal screen separating her from total pandemonium.

People push into the store, running down the aisles to the kinds of costumes they want. If one person slips and falls, Brenda thinks, Someone is going to get trampled! Why don't they shop earlier? Why?

Little children are screaming and pointing to what they want. Mothers are saying things like, "You will not dress like a devil one more year! It's getting creepy!" and "This ballerina costume is so pretty, Gwendolyn, so much better than that one with the bloody gash on it's face."
Brenda laughs to herself, the kids always get their way. That woman is not going to be escorting a 4-year old ballerina from house to house tonight. Nope, the kid will look like something that belongs in the E.R.

WandaSue is becoming enraged. People keep bumping into her, not acknowledging their rudeness. She sees Sally holding up a witch's costume and smiles, "That one is great, Sally. You get that one and I'll wear this ghost one. Let's pay for them and get the hell out of this madhouse!"
They walk toward the checkout counter, holding their costumes over their heads to keep others from snatching them away. A child screams and points. Another child looks at what the first child is screaming at and joins in. Soon almost every small child in the store is having a screaming fit.
Bess and Marthy look around to see what the problem is, but, not having children, aren't interested enough to stop shopping for their own costumes.
Henry8 and Luke enter the store along with Slim, Mike, Jack, Jerry, Daniel, Roger, Bethia, Rose, Eleanor, Marilyn, and last but not least, William.
"Over here, William!" Bess cries out.
He goes to where she is and asks, "Where are the men's costumes. XXXlarge?"
"I have the store memorized. Follow me!"
They go over to where the very large costumes are hung. He flips through them, one by one, saying "I would rather die than wear that!" till he comes upon a Gladiator costume.
"I'll take this one," he tells Brenda as he reaches the front of the store.
"Very good choice, sir! Are you going to a masquerade party?"
He whispers to her, "I've been coerced into attending a fool Halloween party, Miss. Whatever I wear is going to look ludicrous, so it might as well be this gladiator outfit. I've lost 75 pounds at Jenny Craig, but I still look like a tub."
"Oh I know! It's so hard to lose that last one hundred!" she commisserates.
William wonders if he's losing it.........he doesn't tell complete strangers about his weight problem. It must be this consarned Halloween thing that his brain going soft. He pays for the costume and waits outside for the others to emerge.

MEANWHILE:

WandaSue and Sally leave the Mall and get into the taxi they came in; the driver having been told to wait. Why not, WandaSue figures, I'm rich, I can afford it.
"Mind if I spend some time at your house, Sally? Billy Bob didn't come home last night, God knows where he went, but, since he isn't there to torture, it's awfully boring out on that ranch."
"Sure! I like your company! I want to hear more details about this Halloween you celebrate, too. Does everyone just go wild? Do they hurt each other, maybe even kill each other?"
"Nawwww, they act goofier than usual, but I don't think there are more murders on Halloween than any other night of the year."
The taxi arrives at Sally place on Sycamore Street; WandaSue pays him and they go into the house.
Sally goes to the fridge for some beer. "Sure wish we had more of that great tea my real estate salesman brought over the other day. He didn't say where he got it. Never tasted anything like that before!"
WandaSue pops the top off her Bud and takes a long swallow....."Ahhhhhhh, this ain't bad, but I agree, that tea was incredible! If whoever made it bottled it and sold it, it would go flying off the store shelves!"
"I love these costumes," Sally remarks as she takes them out of the bags, "I can't look like the witch they have on this cardboard that comes with the outfit, though. She's ugly."
"Put some warts on your face," WandaSue suggsts, "There must be something around here we can use......now what looks like a wart, especially at night....these tiny marshamallows could be dipped in coffee and we could paste them to your face."
"I can't wait to see the expressions on the faces of those miserable people on Winding Willow when WE show up."
WandaSue isn't as sure, "You know, there'll be a lot of people out all dressed up, Sally. Lots of kids. It's possible they won't notice us!"
"They will if I have to stand there and scream........"
WandaSue nods, but wonders why it is no one pays any attention to her when she does the same thing. Oh well, time to watch Jerry Springer; hope Sally enjoys that show because if I spend any amount of time over here, she's going to be watching it.
The show comes on and they hear, "Today: My fiance slept with my best friend's neighbor's cousin's grandfather and I'm mad as hell! More after these commercials."
"Hot dawwwgies!" WandaSue sits Indian style on the floor in front of the TV, "Bring it onnnnn!"

MEANWHILE: over on Winding Wilow...

Celeste hears the front door open and the sounds of laughter.
It seems they've all arrived home at the same time. She smiles and asks, "Did you find what you were looking for?"
"Ohhhh Celeste!" Marthy goes to her and gives her a pitying look, "You didn't come with us and get a costume!"
"I thought I'd better stay here and see to the children and our wounded boy," Celeste tells her good naturedly.
"TA-DA!" Eleanor hands Celeste a large shopping bag, "You did too get a costume! Look!"
Celeste reaches in and brings out a beautiful golden diaphanous dress. "Oh my! Eleanor! This is gorgeous! What am I supposed to be in this costume?"
"A Goddess!" Eleanor tells her, "Let the beltane fires commence!"
Celeste laughs, "You've been reading those Avalon books again, haven't you, El?"
"Yes, and if anyone else wants to borrow them, they're on my bookshelf!"
Marthy is curious, "Are those the ones by Marion Zimmmm...."
"Right Zimmer Bradley. Now we are all set for our party! Wonder what the guys in the Castle are wearing tonight? So many of us were in that store that I didn't see what they chose!"
"What did you choose, El?"
"I know it shows lack of imagination, but.......I am pretending to be Eleanor of Aquitaine!" she bows.
"But you ARE!" Bess says with a confused expression, "Aren't you?"
"Sure am kiddo! The real article! The one and only, and I sometimes I miss wearing Royal clothes."
Rose is concerned about John and asks Celeste if he's been sleeping.
"Like a babe! Though I can imagine he'd be more than glad to wake up to see your pretty face!"
Rose goes upstairs to check on her husband.
"We'd better get these costumes home, Roger. We'll be back, though, never fear!"
Bess and Marthy are curious to see what Bethia bought and impulsively reach in and pull out........a clown outfit.
"Yes, ladies, I am coming to the party as a clown, because for one thing, clowns don't wear tight clothing that emphasizes their disappearing pregnancy waistlines! Bye!"


SO GOOGLE ME!....by Terri

Rosamond ran up the stairs to the bedroom she shared with her husband. "John? Darling? Wake up!"
John rolled over and moaned. He opened one eye. "Mmmmm...I could sleep another 48 hours."
Rose felt his forehead. "You feel kind of warm, John." John said, "I just feel really tired. But I'm better now that you're here!" He gingerly sat up. "I didn't know how much a bullet wound hurt."
Rose lowered her eyes. "John, I am so sorry. And William was right, I did send Sally Jennings away to the desert. I just wanted her out of our lives. I had no idea she would do this to me! But...!"
Rosamond pulled out a printed piece of paper. "...I used El's computer and google-searched Marshall Matt Dillon and Miss Kitty McGuire. Here is what it said!"

She read, "Marshall Matt Dillon was a fearless deputy marshall of Dodge City and Tombstone before he headed for San Francisco. He faced many a man at a drop of a hat..." and here John grimaced. "...and many a man met his destiny with the Grim Reaper at Boot Hill. He had a pronounced limp due to a wound he sustained in a love triangle when he challenged a woman's husband. Marshall Dillon had fallen in love with the woman but was spurned. It was the only blot on his impeccable credentials."
She rustled her papers and continued.
"The woman in question arrived in town and had instituted reforms. Her name was reported to be Katherine McGuire, a woman of great charm and beauty. However, she and her husband disappeared as if in thin air and were not heard from again. A Miss Katherine McGuire, a spinster of seventy, arrived on the next stagecoach, having been delayed, and was a representative for the Woman's Council for Decent Living. The reforms she tried to implement failed, as the moral standards of the day were already established. Withing two weeks she had left town to return to Boston. Without a doubt, the first 'Miss Kitty' was an imposter and had fled with her dashing husband who was reported wounded and dying as a result of the challenge. As he husband lay dying, 'Miss Kitty' calmly shouted Dillon's name and shot him in the leg with her husband's pistol. Legend has it he died and Miss Kitty buried him in the desert and was taken captive by the Indians and lived her life as a squaw of one of the Indian Chiefs."
She grew indignant. "Can you believe this crap?"
John started to laugh but it ended in a groan. Rosamond got concerned. "I don't think you'll be able to make the Halloween party tonight, love. I'll skip it and stay up here with you."
"Nonsense, I want you to have a good time. Really. I wish I would be there with you but I just don't feel up to it. Go. Have a good time, Cinderella. Just be back up here and in bed by midnight!"
Rose leaned against him and kissed him. "How many times can I tell you I love you?"
John moaned and said, "I don't know, just get off my %$%&^#@ shoulder!"


...and OVER AT JAMESON'S GUESTHOUSE.......by Terri

The next morning was cool and crisp, autumn was definitely in the air. One by one they came out of their bedroom. Billy Bob got the coffee percolating while Bobby Joe cracked the eggs and started cooking the bacon.
Billy Bob poured off three cups of coffee and set them down on the table. He sat there in his sweatshirt and sweatpants. Fortunately the guys had run back in the house and grabbed a few of their things.
He sighed. "I was so looking forward to taking Julie on her first Halloween, Will too. Kind of not-too-funny how things worked out. Last year at this time I was getting married. I became a father and a step-father and I had a wife and a successful business and a dog...now I don't have any of it, not even the dog! Wonder how Jake is...I really miss him. He was the only loyal thing I had and now even HE has gone to live with Gwinnett!" He smiled cynically.
Jameson leaned back. "More time to whine later, men. We have a strategy to plan."
Bobby Joe dished out the bacon and eggs. He was right, they did think better with a full stomach and a semi-good night's sleep. They took their cups of coffee and sat on the deck that overlooked the ocean. "Jameson, this is one sweet set-up." Bobby Joe said. They savored the sea air. Bobby Joe said quietly, "I know this is pretty wild, but tonight is Halloween. Spirits are supposed to be mischievous tonight. Now where would Wanda Sue go to do the most damage?"

They all looked at each other and said, "Winding Willow!" Bobby Joe continued. "So she won't be haunting the ranch. I say....and this is pretty wild...we dispose of any evidence that she was there. We burn her clothes, we pitch her car over the bridge..and when the police find it, it will look like she went over the guardrail. You had better report her missing, Billy Bob. Like tomorrow. Hopefully she won't come back to the ranch tonight. Billy Bob looked at Jameson and Bobby Joe. "Think it will work?"
Jameson said, "Got to work better than the truth!"
They put their hands together and yelled, "YAH!"
They spent the day talking and planning and going over every possible scenario. Jameson said, "Any time you try the perfect crime, you got fifty ways you can screw up. If you think of twenty-five of them, you're a genius. And you arent' a genius, Billy Bob. If you don't do this with split second timing, it will be the last thing you do...this side of iron bars!"
So they planned and schemed until it became dark. Halloween was here...and they were ready with their own plans for a bonfire.


THE WITCHING HOUR..............by Coralynn

At the pre-arranged hour of 7 pm, everyone comes out of their rooms dressed in their costumes, and the guests who live elsewhere arrive.
Little Will, in his Darth Vader costume is thrilled. He looks at each person to see if he can tell who they are.
He laughs when he sees Uncle Luke dressed like a cowboy, and goes to him, yelling "You're Uncle Luke! I can tell!"
"Shhhhh, young one, we must'nt let on!" Luke smiles benevolently down at the boy. "And don't let on that you know Henry8 is the other cowboy, because he thinks he is in perfect disguise!"
Little Will giggles and covers his mouth. Henry, with his great girth, looks incapable of mounting a horse or roping cattle, but is swaggering around the room doing his John Wayne imitation.
"Wills!" he hears his name and turns to see someone dressed in a Dallas Cowboy uniform. He is lifted up by this person, who whispers to him, "I'm Jack, but don't tell, OK? This is Marthy, too. She's a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader!"
"She looks like Marthy, though. Just like Marthy!"
"Well, you see, young one, when a woman is that pretty, there is no need to cover all that beauty......in fact, it would be a crime!" he laughs as he again sets Will on his feet.
A scary space alien with antennae coming out the top of his head, walks stiffly across the room and goes to where the punch-bowl is sitting. Wills runs over and says, "Let me help you, space alien, I am Darth Vader. May I pour you a cup of punch?"
"Why thank you, young man, that is ever so kind!" Mike tells him, pulling off his headpiece just enough so that Will can see who he is, then replaces it.
After Will aides the alien, he sees a clown with a circus lion over in the corner of the room. He likes the circus, and wonders who they could be. Getting close up, he's still not sure because the makeup really covers their faces. He tugs on the lion's leg and asks, "Who might you be, sir?"
Roger lifts up his head-dress just a bit so Wills can see it's Roger, "This clown is your Aunt Bethie!"
"NO!" Wills gets right up to her and peers at her intently. "It's me, Wills, your Auntie Beth.....had you fooled there for awhile, didn't I?"
"Yeah! That's a great costume! Who's that over there?" he points at a man in a black cape with a mask that only partially covers his face.
"I think that's Rafe," Beth answers, and look! who is that over there in that old 1920s flapper dress?"
"What's a flapper dress, Auntie Beth?"
"Very old fashioned, and very cool. See the fringe? Every time she takes a step it waves back and forth."
"I can see it's Auntie Marilyn!" Wills says proudly, "Because it looks like her. She sure is pretty!"
"Can you figure out which one is your Mum?"
"That's easy!" he points to Rose, who looks radiant in a Scarlett O'Hara dress, her hair in ringlets with a parasol held jauntily over her shoulder.
A knight in armor moves to where Wills and Bethia are standing and jokes, "Ya know, if the knights of old wore plastic armor like this, the whole of Europe would have been wiped out!"
Wills jumps up and down, eagerly awaiting the knight's divulging his identity. "Who are you, sir knight?" he asks politely.
Slim yanks off the plastic helmet and grins, "Slim here, my boy. Sir Slim, at least for tonight!" and puts it back on. Wills laughs as he sees Slim walk over to.............a gladiator? I saw pictures of gladiators in a book Mummy has........OH.......that's Poppy William!
'Poppy William' sits in one of the chairs with the lever on the side just in time for Wills to leap onto his lap and put his arms around his neck.
"Oh my!" William pretends to be frightened, "Darth Vader! Have mercy upon me!"
"Oh Poppy, I'm just Wills! I'm not going to sword fight with you! You'd win anyway, 'casuse you're so much bigger than I am!"
"Yes, my boy, sorry to say, I am a big person. After this party I am going back on my diet so that maybe by next Halloween I can pass myself off as Robin Hood, like that guy over there! Who is that anyway?"
"Want me to find out? I'm good at it!!" Wills leaps down from William's lap and goes over to Robin Hood, asking boldly, "And who are you, Robin?"
"I'm Robin Hood, kid, just keep it under your hat!"
Wills giggles, "No you're not. I can tell by your voice, you're Uncle Daniel!"
"Blast! I've been found out!" Daniel laughs as Wills races over to where a court jester stands by a Queen. Wills sees how perfectly Auntie Eleanor looks in her queen outfit, and memories begin to flood over him. I know that dress! That was the Queen back at Court! But she couldn't be; Mummy said that was just a dream.

The court jester pulls back in horror, "Oh no! Darth Vader! Now I'm doomed!"
"You must be Jerry," Wills says with a wry expression.
"How did you know?"
"Because you're with Auntie Eleanor........you're always with Auntie Eleanor!"
"Is that a good thing?" Jerry asks as he tries in vain to juggle some colored balls, which drop all over the floor and land at the feet of..........
A vision! She has just walked into the room and all conversation ceases. Mouths drop open. She stands tall and proud, the crown of stars reflecting light in all directions, the robe of gold over a filmy white gown.
"Oh....my......God......it's Celeste!" William says in awe.
"I am the embodiment of the Goddess, the Lady of the Lake, the ruler of the Universe. I am benign, but firm. I am loving, but fair. Do as I instruct and all will be well."

Everyone gasps and then claps loudly and long.
A young woman wearing a multi-tiered dress with maple leaves fluttering all over it, curties low before this vision.
Celeste bring out a wand and touches the top of Bess' head, "You will be one of my Priestesses!"
Little Wills is riveted by Grandma Celeste. Jeeeeee, he thinks, even an old lady can be something, really, really something! Wow!
Marilyn goes to the middle of the room and announces, "Now hear this! All followers of the Goddess Celeste go into the dining room for some divine victuals. Last one there is a rotten egg!"
There is scurring and a lot of laughter as they pile into the chairs set around the dining room table which has been set with pumpkins and maple leaves.
"Oh Goody!" Little Will says loudly, "Food! My favorite thing!" They laugh as he leaps onto a chair and digs into a plate of hot dogs, "Hot dogs! Yayyyy!"


JOHN GWINNETT: POUTER AT LARGE....by Terri

Rosamond fixed a plate for John and slipped quietly up the stairs. She opened the door to their bedroom. John sat up in bed with a crossword puzzle. Julie was curled up next to him, sucking her thumb and almost asleep. John put his finger to his lips in a "shush" motion. Rose nodded her acknowledgement. "Has she been good for you?" Rose whispered. John nodded yes. Julie looked up and said, "ma-ma."
Rose glowed. "Oh, John! Did you hear that?" she whispered excitedly. "When Will was little I never heard that because I was so busy in the court life, and he had a wetnurse and nanny. Henry insisted. I missed so much!" She reached out and stroked Julie's blonde curls.
Julie's eyelids were falling fast. "I'll leave her here next to you for company. I wish with all my heart you were down with us. It's boring without you."
"Daniel down there?"
"Yes, he was invited." John scowled. "Stay away from him." "John, you've never been possessive and jealous before! What gives?" "I've never been incapacitated and helpless before. Here you are looking like you just blew in from the Old South and I sit in bed bandaged and bleeding." Rose gave him the plate of food. "Ugh! Hot dogs! Real healthy food!"
"John, would you please stop complaining? You'll be up before you know it!"
John smiled grimly. "I sure didn't expect to be laid up this way." He looked over at Julie. "At least I have my girll here for company!" Rose touched Julie's cheek. "She truly is a work of art, isn't she?" John patted her hand. "Just like her Mommy!" Rose stood up. "I'd better keep an eye on Will, he's made it his personal agenda to find out who each and every one of us is."
Rose stood up, her hoop skirt floating around her. John looked her up appreciatively.
"You should be kissed, Miss Scarlett, and by someone who knows how. Namely me!"
Rosamond leaned over and kissed him. "OW!!*&**(%$# that's my shoulder, honey!"
he winced. As she paused at the door, she blew him a kiss. "Page me if you need me. My pager is under my hoop skirt set on vibrate!" John laughed. Rose blushed.
"You know what I mean!" He said, "Hey, Cinderella! Remember---midnight! Here! You! Me!" She smiled. "I'll be up in about an hour to put Julie back in her crib."
As she opened the door, John said casually. "By the way, what did Daniel come as?"
Rose looked at him quizzically. "Robin Hood. Why?"
"No reason."
As she shut the door, John hurled his crossword puzzle book at the door. Julie stirred and said, "Da-da?" He stroked her cheek and said, "Nothing, princess, go back to sleep." John folded his arms behind his head and said to himself. "Yeah. Trick or treat."


TRICK OR TREAT!!......by Coralynn

"Well, will ya look at that!" WandaSue points to the big house on Winding Willow, "Lit up like a Christmas tree! What're they doin' anyway, having a Halloween party?"
"Are they?" Sally asks.
"Probably. Those rich snobs throw parties at the drop of a hat! It's downright sickening! Ohh yeahhhh, look at all those cars parked out front and in the back, too. Sheeesh! This could make it more fun, though. We have more of them to scare!"
"But, WandaSue, they know it's Halloween. Why would they be scared to see us in these costumes? I saw a whole pile of little kids dressed like this before we left my house. Didn't scare me! Why would we scare them?"
"Because we're going to let out blood curdling screams, that's why!" WandaSue feels good just thinking about it.
"Won't you scare the little kids, too?"
"Who gives a rat's patootie about little kids! They go out on Halloween, they takes their chances like the rest of us."
"Wish we were in your car, though."
"My car is out at that miserable ranch, broken, remember? Plus, who needs it? We only had to walk three blocks over here from your place. I must congratulate you on the location of your house, Sally. Very handy location, very handy indeed."
"Glad you like it. If things go wrong, we can run back there, too."
"Nothing is going to go wrong, Sally. Are you wimping out on me?" WandaSue glares at her, then realizes that she needs Sally more than Sally needs her, and softens it, "You'll be fine, just follow my lead."
A small group of children are just then leaving the big house, and another group approaching it. WS and SJ walk behind them up to the front door, and as it opens, the children chime out, "Trick or Treat!" like no one had ever heard those inane words before.
The person handing out the candy is dressed in maple leaves. Sally nudges WandaSue and snickers, "What on earth is she wearing?"
"A rich snob costume, that's what! Now, ready? On the count of three. One.........two.........three, EEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKK!
The young woman in the leaves doesn't look up from her candy duties. "She must be deaf. Let's stand closer." They walk right up in front of Bess and scream at the top of their lungs. They hold out their bags for candy. Bess turns and walks back into the house, closing the door gently behind her.
"Is that how rich snobs act when they're scared out of their wits?" Sally asks.
"One more time. I'LL ring the doorbell, too."
The doorbell actually chimes several times inside the house, over and over and over. Eleanor thinks, someone hasn't done a very good job of teaching manners to their children! That's ridiculous!
She opens the door fully prepared to tell the children to chill out, but apparently they got impatient and left. She closes the door and shakes her head, Rude and impatient. Glad I don't have to deal with them. Imagine what they must put their teachers' through! I shudder!
Sally Jennings, who has just stopped screaming at Eleanor, begins to huff in anger, "How dare she ignore us? What did you say we do when we don't get a treat?"
"We play a trick!!" WandaSue is almost glad they were treated so shabbily, as she brings out two big bars of Ivory soap and a dozen eggs.
"You soap that window, I'll soap this one over here."
"The screens are still on, WandaSue!"
"Better yet! It's murder trying to get soap out of screens! What luck!"
The party-goers are just beginning to mill around after having eaten, and Rafe, who is standing near the front windows, hears a scraping sound. He looks out and sees what looks like a bar of soap scrape itself against the screen. How highly irregular!
He walks to another front window. Another bar of soap, scraping that window screen all on its own. No person, just a bar of soap.
Celeste will know what to do, he thinks as he motions to her. "See that?" he nods toward the windows.
Celeste whips out a gizmo she had sequestered in a pocket in her long cape and holds it out in front of her. Then, nodding her satisfaction, puts it away.
"What did you just do?"
"I found out there are people out there, you just can't see them."
Rafe gives her a skeptical look, then hears spatting noises. Now what?!
He goes to the door in anger, opens it and gets a raw egg right on his Phantom of the Opera mask. He closes the door quickly and marches toward the bathroom to clean up.
Celeste goes through the kitchen, stops briefly at the refrigerator, then sneaks out the back door and quietly walks around the side to the front where WandaSue and Sally Jennings are standing, egging the house.
In one burst of energy, Celeste appears in the light of the floodlights, and throws eggs at the duo with powerful strength.
"HEY!" WandaSue wipes the slime off her eyes, "Not me, Sally! Cut it out!"
"I didn't do it! OWWWW! Don't throw eggs at me, WandaSue! I told you I didn't do it!!"
As they wipe the goop off their respective faces, and their eyes focus, they see a tall woman in a golden robe with lights shooting out of her head, waving her ams, running at them.
"Get me out of here!" they both scream as they head back to Sycamore Street and safety.

Mrs. Canterbury from Sweeping Pines Drive, is about to lead her two small children up the walk to the house, then, seeing that weird apparition, of a woman in a blazing outfit flapping her arms like a duck flying south for the winter thinks, Well, maybe not. No one needs candy that badly!


OH, SHEET! IT'S TRAVIS!......by Terri

Alan Carson looked impatiently at the station clock. Eight o'clock...and..I...am..out the door! He slammed his desk drawer shut and locked it. How kind of them to invite me to the Halloween party! I got my costume in the squad room locker...Dracula! Easy to put on, easy to take off! He pulled it out of locker and changed.
As he was going out the door, who should walk in but his junior nemesis, Travis P. McGee in the flesh! Travis narrowed his eyes. "Kind of old for Trick or Treating, huh, Alan?"
Alan drew his words out carefully and slow, like you would explain to an extremely slow child. "Noooo, I am going to a party. A Halloween party."
Travis leaned against the trash can in the locker room and knocked it over. He got on his hands and knees and picked up the paper towels, banana peels, and donut wrappers, which belonged to Malone. Alan didn't offer to help him pick up. "Really! Sounds like fun!" he said wistfully.
Alan said, "Yes, it will be."
"Where is it?"
Alan reluctantly said, "John and Rosamond are having it. They invited me. Goodnight."
Travis thought, oh, they did, did they, Alan? Hmm..sounds like a good opportunity to snoop around and try to catch them on something. Like why did that little fox stage a kidnapping? And who is that big lug who twirled me around in the middle of the mall?
I don't buy that 'note flying out the door' excuse for a minute! I'd need a disguise that would totally cover me...I'm sure Mom won't mind if I take one of her sheets..if I replace it before she notices... And Travis jumped in his car, raced home, and before you could say, "BOO!"
Travis was inside the house on Winding Willow, totally wrapped in a sheet, mingling with the masses.


WHEN ROBIN MET SCARLETT......by Terri

Will was having the time of his life. Rosamond took him quietly to a corner. "Will, I appreciate the way you are behaving. But please! Don't eat so much candy!"
Will was exuberant. "Mommy, I have just about everyone figured out here! All except Dracula and the ghost!" Rose looked up and scanned the room. "Hmmm. I can't figure it out either! Make you a deal, scout! Whoever finds out first, tells the other one!" Will and Rose high-fived each other. Will scampered off, Darth Vader cape flying.

Daniel sauntered up to Rosamond. "I appreciate Marilyn letting me come to the party. I heard if it was up to William, I would be trick or treating with the neighborhood urchins." Rosamond smiled at him. "I, too, appreciate what you have done for John at the fitness center. Taking over for him. Because...you know."

Daniel got a cynical smile. "Don't thank me yet, Angel. I own 35% of the center. I'm not about to let my shares go to pot. No, don't make me out to be noble. Thirty-five percent of this is selfishness." Rose squeezed his arm. "But the 65% is niceness, Daniel. Don't deny it! In spite of all the fights and scrapes, you and John love each other." Daniel didn't say anything.
Rose continued. "Nice outfit, Daniel. Robin Hood. How ingenious!"
"Is it?"
Rose looked at him uncomprehendingly. "What?"
"Never mind. Play that game."
Rose shrugged and went to the punchbowl. Daniel followed her there. "Like my bow and arrow?"
"Very nice."
"Quiver?"
"Yes."
"Thought so."
"What?"
"Quiver. You. Shake. Tremble."
"Daniel?"
"What?"
"You're disgusting. As usual."
Rosamond turned to Daniel. "Have you even seen your brother since he got...back?"
Daniel was fiddling with his bow and arrows. "Hmmm?" he said absentmindedly. "Yes, I fully intend to sneak upstairs and have a business conference with him. Is he able to converse?"
"He was shot in the shoulder, not in the brain, Daniel. Yes, he can converse."
Rosamond stepped outside in the brisk air. It was so hot in the house with all the people. Daniel followed her out. He ran his hand lightly up and down her arm. "Want to relive a fond memory, Sugar?"
"Exactly WHAT are you talking about?"
"Don't start that 'I-don't-know-what-you-are-talking-about act with me, honey. I am NOT one of your plantation beaux. I want more from you."
"What do you want?"
"I'll tell you, Rosamond de Clifford. I want you to say the words I heard you say to John Gwinnett. I love you."
Rosamond smashed her parasol over Daniel's head and said, "That's something you'll never hear from me as long I live, Daniel Gwinnett!"
As she flounced back in the house, Daniel yelled, "Did I say 'John Gwinnett'? I meant Ashley! Ashley Wilkes!"


Daniel went up the stairs and knocked on the bedroom door. "Come in."
Daniel stuck his head in. "Up for a visit, bro?"
John turned the TV off. "Team's losing anyways. How's the fitness center?"
"Running well. We have the new equipment off and running, Slim is in charge of sales and contracts, and Rafe is in charge of the trainers. Humming right along." They spent the next fifteen minutes discussing the gym.

John stretched out. "&%&%^$$#&*@ shoulder is killing me!"
Daniel shook his head. "That woman of yours will be the death of you yet, John."
John grinned. " Yeah, but what a way to go! I'll die with a smile on my face!"
Daniel glanced over and saw the baby snuggled under the covers in the curve of John's body. He felt a twinge--maybe more--of jealousy. "I see you got your little rugrat there. How's she doing?"
John pulled the cover back slightly. She was in her pink one-piece sleeper with Pooh Bear. Daniel melted a little. A little? A LOT! He looked over at her. "Image of her mother. But she has my--our--mouth."
John winced. "Hand me that Vicodan, will you? Pain is worse at night. " John popped a pill with a glass of water. "I need to get Rose up here to put her to bed."
Daniel said, "Why bother her? I'll do it."
"Daniel--I'm not sure Rose would..."

"Hey, she's enjoying herself with Will. Let's not disturb her." Daniel picked Julie up carefully. He put the blanket around her and headed towards the crib in the adjoining room, holding her closely. Ninety-nine percent sure she's John's? But there's that one percent chance.. He laid her down carefully in the crib. He straightened the blanket over her and stroked her little cheek. It IS possible...
He went back in to John. "I'd better get downstairs. Will is going to try to bob for apples in his Darth Vader outfit. That alone should be worth it!"
As he walked towards the door, John said quietly, "Why the Robin Hood outfit, Daniel?"
Daniel looked down, surprised. "Is that what this is? Well! I'll be! I guess it is! How do you like THEM apples?"
He closed the door on his way out. John picked the remote up and threw it at the door in frustration. What was it Mother used to say when she was upset? 'APPLESAUCE'! Yeah, Mother, you're right! "&&$@#* APPLESAUCE!" He flopped back on his pillow, ticked off at the world.


OPERATION: BURN THAT WITCH!.....by Terri

"Think it will work?" Bobby Joe asked.
Jameson said, "It has to. I can't see why it wouldn't."
Billy Bob bit his thumb. "I swear, that woman--if you can call her that, her hips have their own zip code--will be the death of me yet. She's been a thorn in my side since Biology in Miss Kretzner's class. Looked over at my paper during a test once and BOTH of us got detentions and zeros on the test. Dragged my grade down one letter, too. Even when I didn't see her for fourteen years, she was always there, in the back of my mind. Lurking, like those gargoyles on Notre Dame."
Jameson lit a cigarette and passed the pack around. Even though the three of them had quit smoking, it was something they had to do. "Bobby Joe, you got the gasoline?"
"Yes, I told the guy at the filling station I had a lawn job to do. I needed 20 gallons. Looked at me like I was nuts. He said, "Mussa be a hulluva lawn, whaddaya do, a golf-a course?" I took the license plate off so he couldn't trace it to me later in case we screw up." They drove in the darkness, each lost in his own thoughts and not saying much of anything.
The only thing Billy Bob said was, "Halloween. How fitting to vanquish a witch!"
Jameson and Bobby Joe said, "WOOOO-WOOOO!"

They pulled into the drive at the ranch and got out. Jameson said, "OK, let me see the havoc this ''witch' has wreaked."
Billy Bob and Bobby Joe held back. Jameson got impatient. "Oh, give me the damn key!" He snatched it out of Billy Bob's hand. As he walked into the kitchen, he saw china pieces and glass shards everywhere. The turkey platter lay in three pieces on the floor. He said, "She's gonna pay for THAT one!"
When Wanda Sue found out she couldn't unlock the china cabinet, she had hurled the whole thing over. Jameson whistled. "She must be as strong as a mule!"
Billy Bob said, "You have no idea!"
Bobby Joe clapped his hands and said, "Gentlemen? Operation Burn That Witch is about to commence!"


DOWN BUT NOT OUT.........by Coralynn

Sally and WandaSue sit on the couch in Sally's living room, legs stretched out before them, watching some foolish movie on TV. Sally leaps up and turns it off.
"Are we going to let that bunch of snobs defeat us, WandaSue?"
"I know, I'm just getting my second wind. Damn crazy witch lady would have to show up with her own supply of eggs. She's a menace!"
"Didn't I tell you, didn't I? She sacrifices animals on an altar she has back in the woods. I followed her one night, and she ripped open a goat! The blood was all over.....I thought I was going to throw up! And the incantations! Made my blood run cold!"
WandaSue rolls her eyes, but, not wanting to rain on Sally's parade, says "we have to go back there till we feel we've fixed them good."
"Those people sure don't 'fix' easily, do they?"
WandaSue sits there thinking for a few minutes, then suggests, "How about we go back and roll their garbage cans into the street?"
"Too bad they did away with out-houses! If they had one, we could tip it over."
"Yeah, that would be great fun, but no, no outhouse. Let's see: garbage cans, what else?"
"I heard that if you tied a long wire to the side of a house and then got waaaaay back and rubbed it with something metal, it would make a huge noise inside and scare people."
"OK. Let's make sure we take a long wire......oh about 100 feet of it or so.........do you have that handy, Sally?"
"No."
"We'll stop at a hardware store before we go over to Winding Willow. Where is the nearest one, do you know?"
"There's one about 5 miles away out on the highway."
"Oh swell! Being without my car, and not totally crazy, I am not willing to walk 5 miles in both directions just for a wire. Scratch that idea!" WandaSue literally puts a thick mark through the idea on her Battle Plan pad of paper.
"So......besides the garbage cans......." Sally begins.
WandaSue leaps up. "Let's get our buns over there and maybe inspiration will strike once we're there!" She makes for the door, Sally following eagerly.
As the door closes behind them, Sally suddenly realizes she left her key inside.
"Uhhhhhhh, WandaSue!" she calls out, trying to keep up with the frantic pace WSue has set. "I left my house key inside. We're locked out."
"Oh well, what else can go wrong? Let's settle the hash of those miserable snobs on Winding Willow, then we can figure out how to get back in your house. Another few minutes and we're there!!"

They creep up to a side window and peer into the living room. There's a big tub of water filled with apples in the middle of the floor, sitting on a huge tarp. They see someone in a cowboy outfit on his knees, trying to bit an apple.
"Look at that tub of lard! Good God, where do they get these people?" WandaSue says derisively.
"There are a lot of people there, WSue, think we could sneak in?"
"Who, US? Who thinks they'd let US join their party?"
"But they wouldn't recognize us in these costumes!"
"Celeste the witch sure would! She saw us, remember?"
"But how well, it was dark out after all. Let's try it, WSue, let's....please, please!"
"OK, but it might not work. What do we do after we get in there?"
Sally claps her hands in glee, "We scream?"
WandaSue laughs and shakes her head, "Why don't we just play it by ear?"
"Good!"
They go up to the front door and slowly open it, then tiptoe inside. The scene of the apple bobbing is in the large room on the right hand side of the vestibule. They try to ease themselves into the crowd of party-goers, hoping to blend in and not be noticed for who they really are. WandaSue underestimates the width of her hips and smacks into some guy dressed like Robin Hood. He moves away slightly, but otherwise says nothing.
WandaSue is so ticked off at being ignored that she stomps on Robin Hood's foot, which is clad only in thin leather. Robin yells out, "Damn, that hurt!" but doesn't look at her or at Sally.
Frustrated at not being acknowledged, if only for something painful, she then walks around behind him and yanks on his hair.
"Cut it out!" he wheels around, and looks everywhere but at WS and SJ. He says to the guy dressed like a knight in armor, "Hey Slim, has anyone pulled your hair?"
"Hardly!" Slim gives him an odd look, then resumes cheering for Henry8, who has, with the help of his left hand, managed to sink his teeth into an apple.
Sally hears this and comes up behind Slim, and, flipping off his headgear, takes a large handful of hair and yanks as violently as she can.
"Yeeeeeow! Cut it out, Daniel!"
Bethia and Celeste notice this disturbance and walk over to where Daniel and Slim are standing, arguing about who pulled their hair. Celeste brings out her gizmo and holds it out.........
"It's them, Bethie."
When WS and SJ see Celeste, they hide behind the couch, hoping she won't attack them. Ohhhh good, she's going in the other room. Whew, close one!
A few minutes later, they hear the front door open, but think nothing of it, after all, people are coming and going.
They don't see Celeste slowly approach them from behind, but when Celeste dumps a pail of water on them, they realize they've been bested again.
"CELESTE!" William roars from across the room, "Why did you do that?!"
"Just got carried away with the spirit of the party!" Celeste laughs as she senses the two intruders bolting out the door onto the front lawn.
The party resumes with barely a hitch. Celeste whispers to Bethia, "I don't think we'll be bothered by those two again, at least tonight!" Beth laughs and puts one arm around Celeste's shoulder, "You are a real firecracker, Celeste, who would have known?!"
Celeste whispers back, "You forget......I was at Woodstock!"


BURN, BABY, BURN....by Terri

Billy Bob called out cautiously, "Wanda Sue? Honey? Babydoll?"
Bobby Joe pinched him and Jameson made a gagging motion. BB said, "HEY! It never hurts to be sure!"
Silence.
Bobby Joe said, "I guess she decided to haunt some other place." Billy Bob said, "Yeah, well, I am guessing she's over at Winding Willow giving my ex-uh-unwife grief. Can't believe how much she hates her. And I think she'd secretly like to take that John Gwinnett for a romp. Two fold--to get back at Rosamond and to, well, she IS a ho-bag..."
They went into the room that Wanda Sue called her own. "What a pig sty!"
Jameson took a yardstick and picked up Wanda Sue's underwear. "Where does she buy this? From Ringling Brother's tent cast-offs?"
Bobby Joe picked up her bra. "A-cup, B-cup, C-cup, D-cup, DD-cup----Wanda Sue wears a Tea-cup?"
Billy Bob said, "She wasn't always built like a pear. OK, so she looks like the Griimace."
"Grimace?"
"Yeah, that purple McDonald's character."
Jameson said, "What is the difference between Wanda Sue and Grimace?"
They looked blankly at Jameson.
Jameson howled, "Wanda Sue isn't purple!"
They started laughing. And couldn't stop. The booze they downed for liquid courage didn't hurt either.
"What is the difference between Wanda Sue and..."
Billy Bob cut them off. "We never know when her un-body will float back here, we'd better get cracking. I'm going to the barn for boxes."
"I'll go, too!" Bobby Joe said, Jameson scrambled towards the door. "You aren't leaving ME here by myself!"
The three of them all tried to get out the door at the same time. Billy Bob turned around and said, "I didn't hear anyone yell FIRE!....YET!"
He pushed them both back.
The other two scrambled, yanking each other back.
They returned fifteen minutes later with boxes to pack Wanda Sue's stuff in.

Bobby Joe started with her jeans drawers. "Never saw jeans with a guest room before." He held them up. "How'd she get so broad in the beam anyways?"
Billy Bob glanced up. "Years of sitting on those puppies! I swear, when she walked it looked like a litter fighting under a blanket!"
Jameson grabbed Wanda Sue's dresses. "Yep--Omar the Tentmaker!"
Bobby Joe yanked a dresser drawer open. The three of them stared at it. They looked at each other. Back at the contents of the drawer. Back to each other. "I'm not going in there!"
"Me, neither!"
"Billy Bob, you were married to her. YOU go in there."
"Not without combat pay!"
They had come across Wanda Sue's underwear drawer.

Gingerly they dumped Wanda Sue's underwear in a box. They dumped the remaining drawers into boxes and sealed them with duct tape. They moved on to the bathroom that they let Wanda Sue have to herself.
Bobby Joe pulled the shower curtain back. "Will you look at that bathtub ring? Looks like a planter box!"
Billy Bob glanced in and said, "I wanted to put a new tub in here anyhow. Even though this one is only two years old."
Jameson pulled open the medicine cabinet. "Wow! Looks like a drugstore!"
Billy Bob looked over. "Yeah, I think she would go from doctor to doctor getting prescriptions for Valium and Vicodan and stuff like that and then sell it per pill, mind you, to her friends. Supplementing her income, I guess."
Bobby Joe opened the vanity drawers. "Cosmetics. All these things and she still looked hard as a rock! What the heck is this?" Bobby Joe held up a contraption.
"I think it is something for sucking out the blackheads."
They dumped lipstick and powder and eyeshadow and all her sundries in another box. Sealed. Most of her pills they dumped down the toilet, except for the ones Bobby Joe slipped into his pocket. You never know when you are going to need a pain pill!

Jameson looked through her papers. "Hey! Here's her checkbook. Deposit of 150,000 back in April, 150,000 back in May, 1,000,000 in May, 1000.00 in June....she really raked it in! Guess blackmail pays off!" Billy Bob grabbed it. "Balance left--still has 1,300,000.00 left. What a witch--with a capital 'B'! I should make a withdrawal from her account. Leave her with only 300,000.00 dollars!"
"Better not, Billy Bob! Nothing weird can happen in her accounts now. In fact, maybe we'd better leave some of her stuff here. So it looks like she went out and intended to come back but she missed that curve."
"You're right. But I feel lile burning SOMETHING of hers!"
"How about we burn what we have in the boxes and leave her other stuff here?"

Within the hour they gathered a substantial amount of Wanda Sue's things and piled them in a heap. Bobby Joe said, "Think twenty gallons of gasoline is enough?"
Billy Bob said, "More than enough!"
They took her stuff behind the barn where Juanita wouldn't see and if she did, by the time she noticed it, the flames would be higher than the sky.
They three of them stacked box upon box. They got branches and brush and leaves and covered the boxes with them.
Billy Bob grabbed three lawn chairs and put them around the 'campfire'. Bobby Joe dumped his four 5-gallon cans on the pyramid of cardboard and leaves. Jameson brought the case of beer and marshmallows. Billy Bob produced three long sticks and Bobby Joe whittled the ends to a point. Bobby Joe and Jameson looked to Billy Bob. "Sir, would you, as the persecuted husband, like to do the honors?"
Billy Bob stood up, took a bow and said, "Gladly!" He struck a match and set it to the debris. "Gentlemen? The 'persecution' rests!"
It went up in a blaze, an inferno, a conflagration, a bonfire, a wildfire. It was the ultimate campfire.
And as they uncapped their beer bottles and put their marshmallows on the stick, they chanted, 'BURN, BABY....BURN!"