Thanks so much for actually taking the time to read some of my poetry.
It's all very personal, but I trust you guys! Feedback is always
appreciated, so please - if you have any comments, suggestions, or even
constructive criticism, feel free to email me.
If you like what you see, or maybe if you're just interested, please
check back often for updates. The first poem is the most recent one on
this page, having been added on July 30, 2000.
I just found out that it is being published by poetry.com,
my first poem ever to be published. Look for it in Nature's Echoes,
which will eventually be in bookstores. Thanks a lot to poetry.com!!!!
Thanks again!
Go Ahead 2000
I see your eyes
Narrowing into angry little slits
Go Ahead
Change at me
See how fast I move
I won't move at all
The gleam of the blade
Shimmers in your hand
Go ahead
Twist the knife
See if I flinch
I won't move at all
Go ahead
Hurt me more
Tell me exactly what you think
Say everything you have on your mind
Go ahead
See how hard you can make me cry
I won't cry at all
Go ahead
Just try to touch me
See if I'll touch you back
Take another step
With your arms outstretched
I won't move at all
Touch 04/21/2000
I reach for your hand
Forgetting you're not there
Your scent lingering on my pillow
As I lie here alone in the dark
It misleads me
Please, just touch me
Just hold me here
Whisper your lies
Make me love you
More than I already do
I want to believe
That you mean more than you say
The truth still stays
Here within me
Some spark is nonexistent
In your eyes
I will never know
Exactly what is wrong
In this moment,
I would do anything for you
I could make you so happy
If you would just touch me
Make me feel safe
Pretend you love me
You are all I could need
Everything is shifting, everything is falling
So many of my tears
Lingering on my pillow
I never even felt them drop
But here I am
And there you are
Your touch will never come
Angry Fists
03/04/1997
Angry fists fly through the night
Angry words spit back and forth
Sharp pain, loving words
A deadly mixture
Picturing him with that other girl
Seeing him raise the hand that touched her
Feeling him touch you, feeling him throw you
With the force of his hand
He stole your holy water,
Splashed it all around
Jumped in the puddles he created
All his sweet apologies won't ever stop your tears
Shadows flicker on the wall
Him and you... or is it someone else?
But when the shadow of his anger
Is sprayed out on the floor
You know who is by his side
It's that stupid little girl that you've always hated
The one who never shuts up when she should
It's all her fault, you know
For he can do no wrong
The one who speaks with angry fists and angry words
The model of perfection
Stupid little girl...
Now is the time to speak up
Now is the time to be brave
And now, now is the time to overcome it
To wake up from that bad dream
And hold your chin up high, cover up those scars
And never repeat the same mistakes
Smoldered
12/21/1999
I sit here in the darkness
Staring at the air
How hard it is to tell you
How much I love you
Speaking is not an option
In this game we play
I must signal in the dark
You cannot see me
Only feel me
Fear keeps me caged here
The fear of you rejecting me
Again
Your love only smoldered
You would not let it breathe
My love for you
Swallowed forests
I would never let it stop
Together we exploded
Fell apart
Like pieces of star in a big sky
As we slowly find each other
I reach out
To help you come closer to me
You claim you never even sparked
But I saw that fire
Before you put it out
How hard it is to tell you
That I still burn inside
I know you will only reject me
So I sit here in the darkness
Staring at the air
Wishing for some brightness
To ignite me once again
untitled
01/03/1999
You lied to me
Over and over, you lied again
You never loved me
You lied as you held me
And you lied as you fucked me
You said you were falling
But you never fucking loved me
She was never my friend
She must never have cared
The two of you must be so happy
To give me up,
The best you both have ever had
Never will you replace me
For I am above your sick games
Never will you hurt me again
I am better than that,
I am better than both of you
There are others who love me
But you two are now alone.
How Did it Feel?
09/13/1999
How did it feel to touch her?
What was it like,
The touch of her smooth skin
Beneath your fingertips?
Watching the entire escapade
Only increased my curiosity.
Did her skin feel like mine?
Was it better?
Different?
Did you kiss her under the stars
Just as you kissed me?
Did you hold her tightly
Under the comfort of your sheets?
Did she tremble much like I did
While basking in the afterglow?
Did you have so much more to talk about?
Did you look her in the eye
And tell her the same lies you once told me?
Did she love you as intensely as I?
And when it was all done,
When you were finished with her,
Did you touch her friend
Right before her eyes?
Or was I the only one
To deserve such treatment?
Am I the only whore
That you punish?
Or will you do the same to her?
Ashes
03/02/1999
One by one, the stars explode
Dripping fire onto the world
The ocean swallows the flames whole
And sparks are washed ashore
The pebbles of sand begin to burn
Soon the horizon is painted in fire
I sink into the sea
With sand oozing between my toes
As I stand and watch it all
The flams flicker in my eyes
The world slowly smolders around me
But these cool black waters
Will always protect this poor lost girl
To touch the face of the stars..."
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