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Blond Jokes


                  

Q:Why was the blonde upset when she her drivers license?
A:she got an F in sex

Q: How did the blonde die ice fishing?
A: She was run over by the zambonis

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been sighted.

Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.

Q: Why do blondes take the pill?
A: So they know what day of the week it is.

Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: Because it kept falling out.

Three blondes walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it...

Q:There was a red head, brunette, and a blonde driving in a convertible car. They were driving to fast and flew over a gaurd rail and they landed in a river. The red head and the brunette float up to the surface. Why didn't the blonde?
A:Her door was locked!

One day a blonde decided to go ice fishing. So she packed up all her gear and headed for the nearest pond she could find. When she got there she started to cut a hole in the ice. Suddenly she heard a booming voice."There are no fish under the ice." Suprised she turned around and saw no one. So she went back to cutting the hole. The booming voice popped in again,"There are no fish under the ice!" Again she turned around and saw no one. So she asked "Is that god?" The booming voice said,"No this is the Ice Rink Manager."

There is a blonde driving a car, she swerves to the left then right, then left. Then a police officers pulls her over and asks what she is doing, and she says"I swerved to the left cause there was a tree on the right, then swerved to the right cause there was another tree so i swerved to the left" The police man says" Lady that's your air freshener

There was a blonde that was sick of people making fun of her. So she decided to prove to all people that blondes are not as dumb as what they think they are. She studied all the capitals of the states ALL night long. She didn't even rest one bit. The next day, she spotted a couple a guys sitting down and walked up to them and she said," I bet you I can name all the capitals of the states," and he said, "OK", "What is the capital of California?" She replied, " that's easy "C".

A man hires a blonde to paint stripes down a road, but she has to keep the contract and do at least four miles each day. The first day, the blonde does 8 miles. The boss is extremely impressed. The second day the blonde does 4 miles. The boss is somewhat impressed, but not as much as before. The third day, the blonde does two miles. The boss thinks she is just having a bad day, so he still lets her keep the job. The fourth day, the blonde only does 1 mile. The boss asks, "You were doing so well before. Why aren't you doing well now?!" The blonde replies, "I can't get far because each day I'm getting further and further away from the bucket."

Q. How do you drown a blonde?
A. Put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a pool.

Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A: I wonder if it's mine!

Q. There are three girls, all in grade 3: one a brunette, one a redhead, and one blonde. Which one of them has the best body?
A. The blonde, because she's 19.

Q. Why was the blonde sitting on a roof?
A. She heard the drinks were on the house