How
It Began...
Just thought I'd also give a little info on how
the saga started in the first place.
Way back in KP history, Quizzard and I both had
a reputation for giving humorous answers and soaps. Somehow, we got into
an ongoing discussion of each other's suspected animal ancestry. He claimed
I was the offspring of Toads, and I claimed he was the offspring of sheep(and
still had an unnerving fetish for them). it was all in good nature. :)
Anyway, via ceremail we had made casual threats
of having a duel. When I posted what became the first chapter in the first
saga, I had no idea that Quizzard would take that as the challenge. I simply
wanted to turn his debasement of Toads into something nobel. So I was a
bit surprised when he posted his own part, bringing into play the evil
hunter, Quizzard, a lizard and enemy to the amphibians.
It went on from there. Most chapters were short
and humorous(especially Quizzard's). We tried to use as many names of KPers
as possible to try to interest and encourage participation from other mambers.
After some uring, waterlin and scrooge contributed there own chapters to
the first saga.
The first saga ended a bit prematurely, due to
some feelings of frustration on both mine and Quizzard's sides. KP members
who had characters in the saga kept switching sides and Quizzard finally
said he had enough and we should end it. Thus my final battle scene was
written and it was over, both villain and hero dying.
Awhile after that, Quizzard and I talked about
it and decided we wanted to try again. So we started the second saga, a
continuation of the first, encouraging others from the start to write their
own characters. Quizzard added in tons of KP names with possible plot offshoots
in hopes that people would become interested and expand the story. A couple
did add their own chapter(WhyKnot, brigit).
We DID get a ton more active support from readers
for the second saga, which encouraged us to make it even better. Anyone
who has read both can clearly see the difference in writing quality, plot,
etc. Everything was working out better than we ever expected. We started
discussing each others plans for the future of the story and found that
they went together almost perfectly. It was great! Quizzard even told me
he had started rewriting his parts in the first saga to better match the
quality and depth of the new one. We discussed copyright issues with cjoh
and started considering actually getting the sagas published in the future.
And then, without warning, Quizzard and his wife maxhdrm7 both disappeared.
I waited quite awhile before deciding to continue writing the saga myself.
Sadly, I think some of the people who were following the story gave up
on it.(Quizzard had his next chapter completed at the time of his disappearance.
It would be interesting to see it.)
I think a lot of what slowed me down is the fact
that it was Quizzard's part to write the history of the Egar, since it
was mostly his idea what happened with them.(I won't give away that part.
:)
As expected, the writing of the tale has gone much
slower without Quizzard. We were working off of each other's creativity,
but now it all has to come from me. I am of the opinion that the saga is
lacking without Quizzard's humor to offset the seriousness. I have attempted
to bring some humor back into the story through benmax's character.
And here we are. :) The current saga is now over
16,000 words long--the largest work of writing that I have ever been a
part of to this point. I still hold some hope that Quizzard will return
and take up his reins again. But if he doesn't, I am prepared to finish
it. Just bear with me and don't lose interest!
I think I will post the whole saga so far in another
soap. Thanks everyone for your support in this huge undertaking!
August 23, 1999
"The Battle
of the Lily Galaxy"
Twead Saga
Chapter 1 - May the Toad be with you...always
by Kilnamar
Far, far away, in a distant galaxy, there lived
the ancient Toads. The Toads were wise, and, in the beginning, very generous
with the sharing of their vast knowledge. Under their rule, all was harmony
and beauty. Alas, this great peace was doomed to fail.
The High
Toad graciously accepted the ambassador of a small, distant solar system,
feeding and housing him within his own palace. For a time, all was well.
For a time, the peace continued, and the Toad people had great hopes for
a strong alliance with this new species.
But, by chance, a young Toad of the Royal Leap
Guards, Twead, discovered the ambassador's deceit. Under the guise of friendship,
this Man had been infiltrating highly secret defense and strategic information
and sending it to his starship. From there it was sent to the home world.
A mass invasion of the Toad planet had been organized and was on its way.
Twead found that the High Toads would not hear
his account of the ambassador's treason. In fact, he was labeled a traitor
himself, and banished from the Great Swamp. Twead knew that the future
of his beloved Toad people depended on him. And so he set off on his quest.
To find those who would listen. To find those who would fight...
Chapter 2 - High Toads
Quizzard
While young Twead was off on his wild goose chase
(the geese were the only people strong enough to
fight the Men), the High Toad council were in
a heated debate...
High Toad, "This outrage cannot go unpunished!
Summon my Royal bounty hunter, The Quizzard!"
Chancellor Rubbit, "Your Royal Toadness, not the
dread Quizzard? Surely Twead does not deserve
such antipathy. He only questioned the Ambassador
of Man."
High Toad, "I will not have the Ambassador slandered
in such fashion. After all, look at all of the gifts he has brought(for
me, heh, heh)"
Chancellor, "But Your Royalness, the bug zapper
and wart removal creme serve no real purpose, here!"
High Toad, "ENOUGH! Let the mighty hunter come
forth! We shall soon see the end of this upstart tadpole."
And so the hunt began, and the dread Quizzard looked
forward to the chase...
Chapter 3 - Meanwhile, Twead prepares in the
wilderness...
by Kilnamar
"Sir Twead!" The frantic young frog rushed up to
the warrior panting. "Dreadful news, Sir! The High Toad has summoned The
Quizzard to seek you out and destroy you!"
Twead's breath caught for a moment. The Quizzard
was well known throughout the land for his merciless hunting of the lesser
amphibian races. But Toad law had outlawed hunting another Toad centuries
ago!
Twead pulled his short sword from it's scabbard.
He was well known himself, and rightly so. For he was the youngest Master
Swordtoad in over a thousand years. "Come to me Quizzard. Come to me and
face your doom, as all will who stand in the way of the freedom of all
Amphibia!"
And the gathering of the lesser races continued.
Soon his army would be prepared for the invasion. Soon his Master Weapon
would be ready. Then even the mighty Quizzard would not be able to stop
the resistance...
Chapter 4 - The Hunt Begins...
by Quizzard
Quickly gathering his instruments of war, the Quizzard
contemplated his next move. Realizing the fiery tadpole would try to quickly
raise an army, the Quizzard evaluated his possible allies.
The trip to the Snipe Quadrant took very little
time. After hunting snipes to fill his own ranks, the Quizzard laid a trap
along Twead's return path...
Chapter 5 - Twead’s Secret Path
by Kilnamar
Twead was little surprised at the report of Quizzard's
trap. How foolish he had been to stand pompously on his soapbox and reveal
his plans. Did he really think that there were no spies about?
But Twead was not worried. He knew these swamps
like no Lizard ever would. There were other ways to return to Toadia. Secret
ways. Yes, Quizzard the Lizard would never suspect where the path of Twead’s
army lay.
The Snipes--they would be a problem. And worse,
Twead's spies had reported a contingent of Gilas with Quizzard. It would
pay to never underestimate the devious mind of his arch enemy.
Still, Twead would not worry. Even if he had inferior
numbers, cruder weapons and armor, his army fought for freedom and for
their homes. As long as one amphibian of his army breathed, there would
be a Resistance...
Chapter 6 - Nemesis
by Quizzard
Quizzard, furious at the security breach, brought
forward a spy.
"What do you have to say for yourself before I
pass sentence on you, you miserable, double-dealing, fork-tongued snake?!"
"Spare me your Great Hunterness, but the toad holds
my dictionary captive, and I cannot dole out my wisdom without it!" whimpered
Wordy the spy.
"You're making my nose bleed with remorse!" derided
Quizzard. "Now I shall pass judgement upon you. You will have to sit mute
and read all of Heyteach's articles. Not one word shall be said in your
defense, not even by *G* Jeni. And, you shall also hear rebukes most banal
by the unsuppressed Jaydogg for one whole day."
"Noooooooo!" screamed Wordy, "have mercy Masterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"
Now, Quizzard knew that Twead knew about Quizzard
knowing, and with that knowledge came the understanding of the thoughts
of Twead, and he knew what he should do about Twead's knowing...
"Bring my lieutenant!" thundered Quizzard.
"Here sir!" replied Wesley of the Snipe Royal Guard.
"Take a battalion of Snipes to guard the back way
to Toadia through the Uranus Cluster. I'll keep the Gilas here in case
they're fool enough to attempt our ambush." directed Quizzard.
"Your will be done Hunt Master."
And so, the forces gathered in the war of the Lily
Galaxy...
Chapter 7 - Twead’s Vision
by Kilnamar
Twead fumed when he received the news that Wordy
had been captured. The Salamander spy was troublesome at times, but he
was a good spy. Even when forced by the threat of losing his dictionary.
With a sigh, Twead returned to his private pond
to plan the following days hopmarch. Yes, tomorrow would be a critical
day in this war. Tomorrow the army would make a frantic, final dash for
Toadia. Twead only wished he had more confidence in his own strategy.
Twead now knew that Quizzard the Hunter was deserving
of his name. It was foolish to think that he would be able to somehow sneak
past him, especially with an army behind him.
Suddenly, an idea sprang into Twead’s mind. "Of
course! It's brilliant!" he said aloud. Quickening his pace, he headed
for the Frog encampment.
"Captain Magnarod," Twead yelled as he came to
the fringes of the sleeping Frogs, "I must speak with you immediately!"
Almost immediately, the famed Frog captain stood
before him. Twead hesitated. Magnarod had never been one to blindly follow
another commander. "Captain Magnarod, hop with me."
As they hopped along, away from any of the encamped
army, Twead told Magnarod of his plan. "Tomorrow will be a deciding day
for all of Amphibia, maybe all of the Lily Galaxy. We will either make
it through to fight another day, or we will be stopped by Quizzard and
his goons. We both know that we cannot allow the latter to happen."
Magnarod remained expressionless. "Sir Twead, my
Frog troops will follow me anywhere I lead. But I need not tell you that
if I doubt for a single moment your competency in leading this army to
victory, not only will I cease to follow, but I will assure you are cast
down from your position and terminated. Is THAT clear? It is more than
your own race's future that hangs in the balance here."
Twead stopped. He fought down the rage at Magnarod's
rebellious words. No, he could not lose his patience. Too much depended
on this alliance. "Captain, you know I value your race as much as my own.
And you know that I have complete confidence in your abilities. Listen
to my plan, then judge for yourself if I am competent or not."
Captain Magnarod shrugged.
"You will take captains WhyKnot, Bodytalk and Amyshea
to position one. Captains Sherrry, Waterlin and Mom2B will accompany me
to position two. And the remaining captains, Heyteach, Pickle, Vicnice
and Ethmer will go for position three."
They continued their hop, long into the night.
Magnarod listened as Twead spoke. At first he was skeptical, but by the
time Twead finished, Magnarod's eyes shown with excitement....
Chapter 8 - Quizzard’s Myopia
by Quizzard
"Good, my plan is working...Little does that salamander
bait know, but Captain Heyteach and her flying circus are really my ace
in the hole. Tomorrow, when the fools advance, Heyteach and her merry band
will hang back, and cut off all chance for escape. Let that young twit
marshal his pitiful forces against me. I shall recruit new warriors and
champions to lead my troops to victory! Boohahaha..."
"Who shall I call, let's see...there's Jaschem1
the Traveler, Shy the Bold, MaxHdrm7 the Gas Oracle, and Scrooge the Unruly.
Oh, and I can't forget Buffy the Toad Slayer, Horatio the Crass, Random
the Unexpected, and Seedy69 the Prolific..."
Quizzard sets his scribes to work, composing the
calls to arms, and the galaxy holds it's breath...
Chapter 9
by Quizzard
The battle lines were drawn. Nobody knew who would
be first to act. The Quizzard waited impatiently in his spaceship...
"Where could that whale turd be?" wondered Quizzard.
"He MUST act soon, or else he will be overwhelmed with my reinforcements.
Bring that historian! I need to reread the soaps for a clue to his next
move."
"You rang, Quizzard?"
"Yes DFront, I'd like to read your notes on the
development of this issue."
"No." stated DFront.
"What did you just say to me?!" roared Quizzard.
"No, I must stay neutral on all issues if I am
to relate this history accurately."
"I care not for such things! I demand you release
that notepad!"
"Never! I'll erase it first!"
*DFront flees with computer and whiteout...
...And that's when the reports started coming in...
Chapter 10 - A Good Day to Kill a Lizard
by Kilnamar
Twead stretched as he awoke. The sky was just showing
the first signs of daylight. Today would be the day. Twead had reveled
in the reports of Quizzard's impatience and anger. No matter. The evil
hunter could not comprehend that Twead might tarry on his way to provide
service to the amphibian communities along his march.
Twead donned his armor quickly and proceeded to
the war council meeting. His captains were all waiting for him, eager for
the day's events.
"I need not tell you of the importance this day
holds for our future," Twead stated, pacing before them. "All of the free
folk of the Lily Galaxy are depending on us. Our spies report a complete
barricade of enemies before us. There will be no sneaking past. We must
fight!"
"Sir Twead," said WhyKnot, the brilliant commander
of the Newt squadron, "DFront has asked for our protection for the endurance
of this battle. He also asks that we not query him as to the strategies
of the enemy."
Twead thought for only a moment before answering.
"We shall give him what he asks. Choose a small number of your troops to
remain here with him and protect him. Someday all Amphibia will need to
know of these events that will shape our world. Now, if there are no further
matters that must be addressed?"
"Twead..." The soft voice came from the back of
the group. They moved away to revel Mom2B, a small Toad with teary eyes.
"Perhaps you should stay here as well. We cannot risk losing you in the
initial battle. You must stay alive to assure a continuance of hope if
we fail today."
Twead choked back his own tears at the statement.
He had always loved Mom2B. He felt the same about HER going into battle,
but he needed her brilliance in this fight. "We both know I cannot remain
behind," Twead said softly. "I started this resistance, and I have to stay
with it all the way. I will not let others fight in my stead."
Mom2B sighed and nodded. Twead was being as stubborn
as always.
"Now then. We all know our battle plans. I believe
in you all. We WILL stand victorious this day! Freedom to Amphibia!" Twead
exclaimed!
"FREEDOM TO AMPHIBIA!" his captains all yelled
in unison.
The well-trained army formed ranks speedily, and
the march to battle began. The ground shook with their hops and footsteps.
Great would be the battle this day, thought Twead as he surveyed the unending
lines of warriors in every direction.
The march slowed and then stopped as the army crested
a rise and saw Quizzard's army across the small valley. Twead heard gasps
of dismay as his troops beheld the seemingly limitless numbers of the enemy.
"Good courage, valiant warriors!" Twead yelled,
urging his captains to pass the enthusiasm behind. "Never was a reptile
a match for an amphibian!"
The army separated into battle formations, preparing
for the first charge. Just then, a frantic Frog ran up to him. "Sir Twead!
We are betrayed! Heyteach and her soldiers have turned on us! We are cut
off from retreat! What are we..."
The Frog's words were cut off by a huge roar as
Quizzard's army began their advance. Even from this distance, he could
see the mighty foes Quizzard had leading his forces. He caught a smell
that made his worst fear reality--Maxhdrm7, the Gas Oracle was among the
enemy! Twead began to panic. Heyteach had controlled a critical unit of
his army. "Defensive formations, everyone!" he screamed. "Soldier, tell
Pickle, Vicnice and Ethmer to take care of Heyteach! Someone alert Waterlin
to prepare the secret weapon! No one touches Quizzard--He is mine!"
Quizzard's army broke upon Twead's defenses with
incomprehensible force. Amazingly, the lines held. And the world exploded
with the screams of wounded and dying...
Chapter 11 - The Battle Rages...
by Quizzard
...The reports of the staging armies rolled in...
"Finally, that horny toad has finished servicing
those communities. It's now time to get to work! Armies advance! Ready
the catapults! Fire!" commanded Quizzard.
"Sir? We don't have any catapults. You forgot to
have them built.", Captain Dargla whispered.
"What? You get yourself down to the tree line with
Pahlavan and the other engineers, and build me some. You have 1 hour, or
I'll put you in a Klein bottle." Quizzard fumed, "Archers, ready volley,
FIRE!"
"Sir, uhhhh," hesitated kgspot, "we don't have
any archers either."
"Arrrrrrrgh! Is everyone conspiring against me?
Get me some projectiles, or I'll start throwing you Captains, myself."
...Confusion erupts in the camp as Captains scramble
to carry out the orders...
"Send in the Gilas, let them grind up the pond
scum for a while. ATTACK!"
The not-to-bright, but massive (and obedient) Gilas
thundered toward the battlefield. The thunderous crash when the armies
met, shook the ground, and Quizzard danced with glee...
"Orders to the rear...Captain Wesley of the Snipes
is to take his rear guard and flank the enemy. He will reinforce Heyteach
and her Flying Circus. When they have overcome Twead's rearguard, they
are to advance to the center. We will crush that tadpole between us!"
"Sir, sir! Communication from Heyteach, she says
she's penned in on three sides, and retreat from the bottleneck is blocked
by...a bunny rabbit?" the radio operator, ChrisLK7, broke in.
"Tell her to hold fast, reinforcements are on their
way. What? a bunny rabbit? What's this?"
"She says it's a bunny rabbit, WITH BIG TEETH!"
"Tell her that I don't care how fierce that flop-eared
cotton-tail is, she's to hold until the Snipes get there."
"Bring the Gas Oracle. I need some advice."
A miasma of rotten flatulence preceded the powerful
fortune teller...
"(Cough, wheeze) Oracle, please tell me what this
new ally of that upstart is."
"(Brrrap, poof, pthhhh) It is not an ally of the
amphibians, but a dangerous natural resident of the caves of the bones.
It serves no Lizard or toad.(Pffft)"
"(cough, hack) Uh, how do I defeat it?"
"(Brrrap) You cannot, but I will send my familiar,
the Bog Squirrel, to deal with that coney of destruction. Leave it to me.(psssssh)"
"Thank you, O master of the sphyncter, I'll (cough,
cough) reward you later, after the final victory."
So, the gas oracle sent her henchman to deal with
the deadly fluff for Wesley and Heyteach. And the battle continued...
Chapter 12 - An Unforseen Hope
by Kilnamar
"Twead!" yelled Mom2B, "I have just received a
report that the Shepherd Bunny has attacked Heyteach's forces!"
Twead smiled, despite the dying all around him.
The Shepherd Bunny was a fanatical creature of limitless strength and voracity.
And while it allied itself with no one, it tolerated Amphibians far more
than reptiles. "Very good! Signal the rear troops to finish the traitors,
but be careful to not get in the Shepherd's way!"
Just then another report came in. "Sir Twead! We
are being flanked by the Snipes! They seek to reinforce Heyteach. And...and...well,
there seems to be some small hairy creature attacking the Shepherd Bunny!
And it is impervious to our normal weapons!"
"Arrrrggggh! Am I to forever be plagued with traitors
and unexpected foes this day?" Twead exclaimed. "Notify Waterlin that the
first target of the secret weapon MUST be the enemy attacking the Shepherd
Bunny!"
"Yes sir!"
At that moment, a contingent of Salamanders broke
through the mass surrounding Twead, leading a bedraggled, dirty form between
them. "Sir, Twead," The leader said, "This Iguana marched on our left flank
and surrendered. He says he wants to join us, sir."
"What is your name, lizard?" Twead asked, a bit
skeptical.
"I am Captain Scrooge, The Unruly, oh great Twead!
I have come to join your ranks. The Quizzard treats me so poorly. And he
had my good arm removed just because I didn't give him a Christmas gift!
I bring many Iguanas with me. Let us fight for you!"
Twead thought for only a moment before accepting.
He could not afford to turn away any offered aid or he was doomed. "Very
well. Take your troops and advance to the rear guard! You must take out
those Snipes!"
"Yes, Sir Twead. And can we keep a few of their
females as our slaves?"
"What?? Are you mad?? Of course not! Now march!"
Twead finally returned his attention to the battle
in the front. The Gila warriors were mighty foes, but they were very slow.
His own troops had quickly learned how best to avoid the monstrosities'
attacks and were steadily advancing. He could see Quizzard in the far distance,
pacing in a rage and obviously furious. Occasionally the Hunter would double
over, as if coughing or gagging. Good, thought Twead, perhaps he is sick.
Twead was startled by a huge noise behind and to
his right--like the scream of fingernails on a chalkboard; like the roar
of a huge waterfall; like the howling wail of a dying soul. The secret
weapon was functional...
Twead covered his ears, but it didn't help. Somehow,
over the piercing shriek of the weapon, he heard the agonized squeak of
something as it died. Hopefully it was the enemy creature, and not Shepherd
being blasted to an eternity in Hell.
"Now there is hope," Twead said to himself as the
tumult continued.
After what seemed an endless time, the sound was
gone, as soon as it had come. The battle was still around Twead as friend
and foe alike stared about in amazement.
"FREEDOM FOR AMPHIBIA!" Twead screamed! "FIGHT
ON BRAVE WARRIORS!"
The clash of battle ensued once again, even more
frantically. The frightened enemy was obviously shaken, and ground was
gained more quickly.
Then the reports came in... Heyteach was wounded
and her forces were fleeing, but Vicnice and Pickle had both been wounded
also. The creature sent to attack the Shepherd had been destroyed, but
the Bunny itself had fled from the unknown power of Twead's weapon. The
Snipes were in full attack, nearly impervious from the air. And still,
Twead advanced. Growing ever closer to the foul fiend who had caused so
many innocent deaths.
"QUIZZARD!!" Twead shrieked above the fighting,
"You will die the worst death anyone has ever known for what you do this
day!"
And Twead joined the fray himself, wreaking a path
of bloody death among the enemy with his enchanted sword.
Chapter 13 - Abandon All Hope
by Quizzard
"DAAAAAAARRRGLA!!!!" screamed Quizzard, "The Gilas
are being overrun! You had better be done with those catapults, or I'll
have your head on a pole!"
"Just finished sir, but they haven't been tested!
We're not sure what the range will be!" Dargla exclaimed.
"We can't wait to test them. I think that motherlover's
secret weapon has come into play. I see a rustling in the trees and troops
are fleeing the vicinity as fast as they can. Take your best shot at that
weapon. We must get it, before it gets us!"
"Okay, boys, let's get those wagons moving. We've
got a weapon to pound!"
Dargla and the engineers quickly rolled the massive
engines of war into position. Forty lizards started the arduous task of
winding them into firing readiness. Finally, the lock pin secured, a ten
ton boulder was lifted into place. Standing well clear, the order was heard,
"Fire!".
The massive missile erupted from the sling and
flew up, up, up...wait, it was going straight up, no, now it was coming
down, and the engineers of destruction were scrambling to move the catapult
before it got smashed. Barely in time, the engine was removed as the errant
missile slammed into the ground with a massive boom!
"DAAAARGLA! You sorry excuse for a reptile! You
get that fixed NOW!"
"Sir, we forgot to factor in the forward force
vector, we'll do it right this time..."
Again the massive engine was wound, and the boulder
was loaded. Carefully taking aim, Dargla gave the order, and the boulder
screamed out into the distance.
With a maniacal laugh, the Quizzard watched the
meteoric missile speed on target, and true. It disappeared behind the trees..............BOOM!
"Did it hit, did we get it?" breathed Quizzard.
"Sir, we had better have. The engine collapsed
after the second throw, and we don't have enough materials to build another."
"Wait a minute...forget the catapults, is that
Twead's banner I see coming to the fore? Finally, a chance to complete
my task. Bring my light company and my armor! Let me welcome my foe to
the battlefield, and his death..."
The mighty hunter girded up, and headed off to
battle, leading his light company of Kimono Dragon guards, and a demonic
gleam in his eye...
Chapter 14 - More Allies Join the Fight for
Right
by Kilnamar
Through the red haze of Twead’s battle rage, he
was distantly aware of the huge projectile flying past overhead. He knew
he should be concerned about this, but the lust for victory held him.
“Sir Twead,” came a distant voice through his muffled
awareness, “Sir...SIR!”
Twead turned in a violent, fluid motion...and barely
avoided taking off Magnarod’s head with his sword. (The Frog captain did
not look pleased at that.) “I suggest you control your rage if you want
to live, Sir,” Magnarod said bitterly. I bear bad news–Bodytalk and Amyshea
are wounded. I have appointed Cjoh and Yates in their places. Unless you
disagree, of course.” Magnarod’s tone said disagreement would not be well
taken.
“Very well,” said Twead, coming out of his battle
fog, “I guess those will do. Have you any GOOD news?”
Magnarod smirked. “Of course. But should I give
it to you?”
“Why you little....Don’t forget who is in command
of this army! Now give me the reports before I finish my sword stroke!”
“Fine,” Magnarod pouted,”Jeni and her Morphopolis
Chameleons squadron have disappeared from the battle. It is unclear where
they are, only that they are not attacking us. Wesley of the Snipes appears
to have had some sort of seizure and can no longer fly. And the enemy catapult
seems to be broken.”
“Catapult. What catapult?” asked Twead.
“The catapult that just shot at our secret weapon,
Sir.”
“What!? Has the weapon been damaged??”
“Unknown, Sir. Reports have yet to come in from
Captain Waterlin or Captain Sherrry.”
“Arrrrrrghhhhh! I need answers! Find out the status
of that weapon...NOW!”
“Yes, Sir.” Magnarod grumbled, and dashed off in
the direction of the tree cover.
Twead turned back to view the front lines of battle.
The Gila platoons were devastated, but the Amphibian forces still had to
fight for every step of ground they gained.
Twead was about to move forward to the fight once
more, when an apparent log on the damp ground began to move and rise up.
Colors shifted, and a Chameleon stood before him.
“Hehe, I scared you, didn’t I? *S*” the reptile
said, giggling. “You are Sir Twead, right? *G*”
Twead aimed his sword at the lizard’s heart. “Who
are you, and what are you doing here?!” He looked around suspiciously for
more of the hidden soldiers.
“Well...I am Captain Jeni, of course, silly! *S*
It looks like your army is having a bad day. *S* I offer the services of
my Chameleon squadron, in return for a one-way passage off this swamp ball
of a planet to the Plymouth Rock of Missouri. *grin* My warriors await
my word not far from here. And my ally, Denise62 of the Tsopwonk Alligators
is waiting not far beyond that. *G* So? Do we have a deal, or what? *S*”
“Ummm...,” Twead spluttered, “I see that Quizzard
has a fine spacecraft. Help me to capture it and you will have what you
desire.”
“Yes, Sir! What do you want me to do? *G* I’m a
wonderful fighter. *S*”
“Ummm...,” said Twead again, bewildered, “Very
well. Here is what you will do...” The rest of what Twead told Jeni was
drowned out by deafening shouts from all around him.
“Hehe. He won’t know what hit him, Sir. *S*” And
with that, she changed colors again and disappeared before Twead’s eyes.
“I’m getting too old for this,” Twead said to himself.
He turned to find what everyone was shouting about. And there in the far
distance, he saw a terrible sight. Quizzard and his Komodo force were on
the move–and heading right for him.
Chapter 15 - Three Rights Make A Left
by Quizzard
With broken and bloody bodies of amphibians all
around him, Quizzard takes a short breather...
"Sir, SIR!" panted Random, arriving late with seedy69
to the grisly scene.
"What now, can't you see I'm taking a break?" complained
Quizzard.
"Well, sir, we've just receive some more reports.
The Battle of Bunny Bevy is over, with no survivors. Captain Scrooge was
hiding in a tree, and someone waved to him. He broke his neck in the resulting
fall. Captain Wesley killed Captain Ethmer while in the throes of a fit,
and then expired himself. There's nothing breathing in that valley, now.
Captain Jeni's Chameloid spies had to report about the grim details. She
also reports that she has some plan to get next to Twead, and deliver him
to you. What plans those are, she didn't relate.--LOOK OUT!"
Seedy69 deftly parried a crushing blow at Quizzard's
back, and Random smoothly ran the attacker through.
"Good reflexes, troops. I'll remember this when
it comes time to divide the spoils. What news of Twead's secret weapon?
I haven't heard anything since the BOOM!"
"One of Wesley's last reports before he was grounded,
was that the weapon was not hit, but the impact of the boulder collapsed
an underground cavern, and the weapon fell into it. Nothing has been seen
of it yet, nor of Captains Waterlin or Sherrry." detailed Random.
"Did he at least manage to describe what the weapon
was?" queried Quizzard.
"No." replied Random, "We lost communication before
he could give any information."
"Well, find out what *G* game those *S* chameloids
are playing. I don't want any more distractions on my way to dealing with...THERE
HE IS! CHARGE!!"
Like a dreadnought, the Quizzard and his Kimono
Dragons broke the enemy lines and rolled onward to the banner of the doomed
amphibian...
"TWEAD! Heyteach needs new science experiments
for class. I'm going to serve you up for DISSECTION!"
Chapter 16
by waterlin
captains waterlin and sherry appeared before Twead,
looking bedraggled and very put out... "sir! we regret our delay in reporting,
but we have
had our hands full...excavating fly20 and his legion of kamikaze
dragon flies, as well as most of our supplies from the cavern after we
were hit...but all is now in readiness sir!" waterlin seemed exhausted
and almost frantic... "I have kept fly20 entranced with my charms as long
as possible sir, but I doubt he will be interested much longer! even I
cannot come up with much more salacious nonsense... last time I spoke with
him he told me his flies were trained and ready to hover over the enemy
and attack on your order... but he and his legion will not be ready to
give their lives for us if you do not call this weapon into play immediately!
sherry and her troops have seen to it that all on our side are well fed,
so that they will not be affected...we beg you sir, use your weapon while
the reptiles are hungry and demoralized, I assure you they will stop fighting
us and start gobbling up dragon flies, if you employ it at once! it should
work as planned and have them trampling each other and fighting among themselves
in an effort to reach the flies!"
waterlin and sherry faded back from the battle
to do what they could to ensure the continued readiness of Twead's troops
and fly20 and his legion of suicidal dragon flies...
Chapter 17 - The Secret Weapon
by Kilnamar
Twead watched silently as Waterlin and Sherrry
returned to their positions. He was filled with pride at their loyalty
and spirit for his cause. he could not let them down.
The reports of the deaths of Ethmer and Scrooge
saddened him. He had appointed anyman and Orpheus to command in their stead.
Too many good soldiers were dying in this war. "You will pay for what you
have done, Quizzard," Twead grumbled under his breath.
Twead watched the swift form of Quizzard, doing
his macabre dance of death in the nearing distance. And where his weapon
went, amphibians died. Twead ached to join battle with his nemesis now,
but too much of his strategy depended on what was about to happen. He would
have his fight with Quizzard.
"Prosaic1!" Twead yelled.
"Yes, Sir?" said Prosaic1. "What do you require,
Sir?"
"Get you to Captain Waterlin and tell her to prepare
to fire the Weapon on our chosen signal! And...get rid of that lollipop!"
"Yes, Sir Twead!" Prosaic1 dropped his lollipop
and ran off with Twead's message.
Twead turned again to watch Quizzard's advance.
How silly his dragon guard looked in their cute little kimonos. For a moment
he wondered at the cost of importing such exotic clothing. They must have
been gifts from Earth's ambassador.
"Just a little closer...a little closer..." Twead
waited impatiently. "NOW! CALL THE RETREAT!" He screamed. The air filled
with horn calls and shouting as Twead's army reversed direction as one
and ran back towards him. A considerable gap opened between the opposing
forces.
And Twead gave the secret signal for waterlin to
fire. Nothing happened...
"Blast that slow messenger!" Twead signaled again.
Again, nothing happened. Twead began to panic. A third time he signaled....
And the air exploded in the screeching, tearing,
splitting roar of the Weapon. The massive structure that was the weapon
shook with the force. Driven by the propulsion of hundreds of pumping Knurple
feet inside, millions of Fly20's Dragon Fly force exploded from the weapon
in a dense, lightning fast burst of many-legged bodies. They slammed against
Quizzard's troops with a force that killed some enemies outright, then
swarmed over all, clinging and buzzing.
Quizzard's famished troops went berserk. All was
chaos as reptiles of all type went into a feeding frenzy. Lizards were
crushed and trampled. The last of the Gilas tore each other apart in there
hunger. Everywhere was confusion as the screech of the weapon stopped and
the frenzy continued. Twead's troops stood, forgotten by their enemy.
Twead watched with a smile. It had worked perfectly.
"ATTACK! Finish them while they are confused!" And Twead's army rushed
forth with screams of victory.
Twead turned and gasped. Quizzard was almost to
his position, his Kimono Captain the only soldier remaining with him. He
could not see who it was. Quizzard's face was mad with rage. Spittle flew
from his snarling mouth. Oh yeah, Quizzard was a little bit upset.
Quizzard and his crony stopped 20 yards away, bloody
weapons in hand.
"We meet at last," said Twead, surprisingly calm.
"Let us fight alone, Amphibian to Lizard, as it was meant to be from the
beginning. What say you? Will you fight me honorably, or will you sick
that hulking behemoth on me as I stand here alone?"
Twead waited for Quizzard's answer...
Chapter 18 - Return To Battle
by Scrooge
Alas, Scrooge lives! Landed on head. No new scars
discernable! Attempts to feebly climb unambidextrously back into tree!
Chapter 19 - The Clash of the Titans
by Quizzard
"Twead, yes, finally, let's have an end to this.
I've been chasing you for a long time, but now your time is at an end."
Quizzard continued, "Yes, let's fight this one on one. I'll leave my captain
behind, if you will leave yours."
Twead whirled in confusion, for there stood Jeni,
Ethmer, and Scrooge One-Arm.
"What's this? I was told you were dead!" exclaimed
the bewildered toad.
"She sent me false reports, obviously. That snake
never did have my full confidence." sneered Quizzard.
"Didn't you find ANY allies that weren't traitorous?"
wondered Twead.
"That's what I get for hiring mercenaries." stated
Quizzard.
"Yes, *G*!" smiled Jeni. "Let's take him Twead,
it's four on two, let's have an end to this quickly!"
"No!" fumed Twead. "I'll have no more traitors
fighting for my just cause! I will settle this on my own terms!"
"You should have taken up her offer, tadpole!"
yelled Quizzard, as he and the dragon attacked...
The scene explodes into a frenzy of flashing thrusts
and parries, as Quizzard and Twead face off, and the dragon takes on the
three undead captains...
Chapter 20 - Infinite Sacrifice
by Kilnamar
Ethmer, Jeni and Scrooge spread out and circled
the mighty dragon, staying just out of range of it's deadly grasp. The
kimono dragons were well known as elite fighters, both cunning and agile.
Jeni smiled, then changed color and disappeared
into her surroundings. The dragon, momentarily surprised, twisted its head,
looking around for her. At that moment, Ethmer and Scrooge both darted
in to the exposed flank, slashing furiously before returning quickly out
of reach once more.
The dragon howled in pain and fury, rushing Ethmer
with death in its eyes. Ethmer deftly sidestepped the rush, getting in
a vicious swipe at the beast's left arm. Blood sprayed, and another roar
of pain filled the air.
The dragon turned on Ethmer, holding it's wounded
arm, more wary now. Ethmer stood poised, awaiting another onrush. To his
shock, the creature instead whipped around viciously. It's massive tail
catching him square in the chest, sending him flying through the air. He
landed with a heavy, cracking thud and lay there, stunned.
The beast gave a roar of victory and rushed in
to finish its helpless victim. It stopped short with a sudden howl, shaking
violently. Jeni came into view where she had leaped onto the dragon's back,
chopping and stabbing wildly with her free hand. Her attacks did little
damage, unable to find an exposed spot in the armor.
At that moment, Scrooge dashed in, his one arm
waving his hunting knife before him. He looked helpless against such a
huge foe. And then, with surprising speed, the crippled Iguana captain
dived at the monstrosities feet...and skillfully slashed the Achilles tendon.
The dragon gave a screech of agony and tried to
back away, but it's wounded leg failed it and it fell heavily, Jeni barely
leaping free in time to avoid being crushed. Fluidly, she brought her sword
to the creature's neck and finished its torment.
Meanwhile...Twead faced off against the evil Quizzard.
Twead saw right away that Quizzard's reach was
much farther than his own, and the cruel lizard had a finely made longsword,
extending his reach even more. Twead was vaguely aware of the clash of
his Captain's weapons behind him as he circled his enemy.
Quizzard shot off a few casual sword techniques,
gauging Twead's abilities. Twead parried them easily and threw a few inquisitive
thrusts himself. Quizzard was good. But so was Twead. It took great skill
to become a member of the Royal Leap Guard.
They circled for a moment more, then Quizzard attacked
with a long series of skilled, deadly blows. Twead dodged and parried furiously,
backing a few steps. Then it was his turn. Twead darted in and out of Quizzard's
longer defense, slashing and stabbing with lightning speed. Somehow, the
Hunter managed to avoid every blow.
Both fighters circled again for a moment, breathing
heavily.
"Is that the best you can do, pip squeak?" Quizzard
panted. "You fight like my grandlizard."
"And you fight like a one-finned tadpole, you arid
scalebelly," Twead gasped.
Quizzard's face reddened in rage. "How dare you...!"
With a lightning rush, Quizzard renewed his attack,
forcing the smaller Toad back with his violent sword blows. Twead cried
out as a barely parried thrust slid down his armored left arm and nicked
his hand. Quizzard, seeing his advantage pressed harder, his sword a blur
of confident death.
Twead knew he was in trouble--knew he could not
last much longer against this onslaught. He saw the wicked gleam of a sure
victory glowing in his enemy's eyes, and knew there was only one thing
to do.
Twead watched Quizzard's moves, waiting for his
chance. Both combatant's swords flew in an infinitely complex dance of
promised doom. And then, Quizzard made his mistake. A mistake that would
only matter to what Twead planned.
With all his remaining strength, Twead parried
Quizzard’s sword and leaped forward. He knew Quizzard's sword had returned,
but it didn't matter now. Twead gasped as the sharp steel of Quizzard's
sword bit through his armor, through his skin, through his chest. Twead
looked up through a growing cloud of blackness to where his own sword stood,
driven to the hilt through Quizzard's exposed neck.
As one, they fell to the ground, locked into a
deadly embrace of cold steel and locked grips. "It is finished," Twead
choked, coughing a spray of blood. And as the darkness swallowed him, Twead
was at peace, sure of the fact that his army had survived and would continue
on to defeat the Human invasion.
