Techie Definitions

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Actor Proofing: Making your set, props, costumes, or ? able to survive the blaitend disrespect and misuse that an actor will give it. An actor will break it if it can be broken, lose it if it can't, trip on it if it is minding it's own business.

Actors:

1) Mindless, zombile like people who blindly follow the director's commands. Their success is 99% determined by the Techies.

2) Un-important nobody who speaks nonsense in front of admirable sets.

*The only good actor is a dead one, and if that isn't possible, then gaff taping them to a chair and leaving them out on stage works too!

Bandsaw:

1) A really big machine that can cut big pieces of wood and actors body parts

2) What the pit musicians see during a musical.

Black: Every techie's favorite color.

Catwalk: The hottest place on earth, it is to the Techie what the Batcave was to Batman.

Cherry Coke:

1) The nectar of the gods and the savior of the techies.

2) The Holy Water of Tech Crew.

The Dewalt Reciprocating Saw: Handy electric saw that allows alteration of set construction ( oh, you wanted the door 18" THAT way ) without the annoying need to remove nails, screws, metal strapping, etc from the wood framing. Also VERY handy during strike.

Duck: When yelled, all true techies freeze and cover their heads while actors look up and get hit by falling objects.

Duct Tape: A type of tape that can fix almost anything

Followspot:

1) A spotlight that is used to illuminate on particular actor who has to move around the stage

2) What people shout when chasing their dog named Spot

Freshmen (See also INTERNS): The polite term for slaves.

Hammer: Device used to secure nails into things like wood and actor's eyes

Headset:

1) A piece of equipment used by techies to communicate about the play during the performance.

2) A free phone line to friends available to techies during performances

3) A very tempting tool to use in lewd, inappropriate pranks during shows.

4) The true sign of power.

5) A piece of equipment used by techies to complain about actors in the play during the performance

Home Depot: Heaven.

Interns (See also FRESHMEN): Professional theatre's term for freshmen.

Set: The world the techies build for actors to live in during the run of a show

Scottish Play, The:

1) A Shakespearean tragedy involving a Scottish nobleman, a murder or two, and a whole bunch of witches and ghosts.

2) Something you should never mention within a theatre.

Stage Manager:

1) A techie who controls the action during the play. They give everyone their cues and make sure the play comes together.

2) The person who rarely gets credit when everything goes RIGHT.

3) Rebels without applause

Strike: Techie's revenge.

Techie:

1) The under-appreciated, over worked behind-the-scenes workers of the play.

2) The person who gets yelled at when the actors mess up.

Anyone with a definition they want added please email the webmaster.