Episode 5:
Bye Bye Bubba

by
Andy Zarowny

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Day 10 begins with breakfast at Lopevi.  The men bicker about the sleeping ar-
rangements. At issue are the choice spots around the fire.  Those down-wind
are hit with soot, smoke, and the occasional burning ember.  They were sup-
pose to rotate each night so a different person gets the best spot.  But for the
past few nights, Travis (aka Bubba), has been hogging it.  The rest are getting
irritated, but Bubba doesn't care.  He's tired of being with the guys. 

The monotony is broken up with the arrival of an outrigger carrying two locals.
They are difficult to understand till they start repeating, "One Chief".  The light-
bulbs go off and Lopevi chooses a chief, Lea (aka Sarge).  He is given a chief's
staff and a necklace to wear.  Sarge starts taking off his pants, thinking he is
going with the locals.  But the two tribesmen paddle away without him.  All are
puzzled.  The locals next arrive at Yasur.  The ladies choose Scout to be their
chief.  Shortly after they depart, an earthquake rocks the island.  The castaways
are knocked about as Vanuatu rumbles.  A precursor for a volcanic eruption. 
An omen of things to come.  How does Burnett do it???

Day 11 and it's time for a Reward Challenge.  But first, Jeff (aka Mr Clean
Shaven One) inquires on the earthquake.  All relate their impressions.  Probst
uses this to segway to another earthquake.  Time to shake up the tribes!  Yes,
it's Swtch-A-Roo.  This season's twist is that the two chiefs do the switching.
After a round of rock-paper-scissors, it is determined that Chief Scout (aka
Scout) will divide up the men and women into two tribes and that Chief Sarge
will choose which tribe he wants to lead.  New Lopevi has Sarge, Chad, Chris,
John K, Twila, and Julie.  New Yasur has Scout, Ami (aka Woo-Hoo!), Leann,
Eliza, Rory, and Travis.  Lisa was left-over from the choosing hat, so she gets
to choose which tribe she wants to be on.  She decides on staying with Yasur.

The Challenge itself is Diving-For-Markers.  Off shore, are two platforms and
two bouys.  Each bouy has markers tied to it at two foot intervals starting at
six feet.  The team that gets the most markers in the alloted time wins.  The
prize is a commercial plug for a major sponsor, Pringles!  Yes, those comfort-
ing, identical potato chips that taste like floor wax are the prize, along with the
beer to wash them down.  Bubba, being water-event challenged, sits out the
battle.  Thanks to Chris losing a marker, Yasur holds a one marker lead till late
in the event.  John K (aka The Last Athlete), evens things up by getting two.
With only 2 minutes left, it's all tied up at 8 markers each.  Ami and Chris face
each other.  They must dive deep now, 22 feet down for Ami, 24 feet for Chris.
Chris comes up with #9, Ami comes up empty handed.  Lopevi wins!

New Lopevi enjoys their reward.  Sarge declares that the chips taste like gold,
making the sponsors, Pringles, very happy indeed!  Twila is also very happy.
Aside from having a beer, she enjoys hanging out with the men.  She has her
eye on Chris, with whom she shares a common profession in real life.  Julie
is more practical, and concerned.  She knows that they are badly out-numbered
and face being booted.  John K is very happy about this turn of events.  He
was next in line to be booted.  Over at Yasur, Rory and Bubba are happy.  They
enjoy hanging out with the Ladies.  It gives them an opportunity to show off
with feats of strength, much like a Festivus party.  But Ami is not happy, espe-
cially with Lisa, who is showing off all the tricks and goodies Da'h  had shown
them.  Ami and Lisa go at it and argue about the men.

Day 12 and it's Immunity Challenge time.  As the tribes gather, Travis says to
Chris, "Think about the Merge!"  Ami gives Bubba a deadly glare.  The Chal-
lenge is the Assemble-the-Outrigger-Race.  Several parts of the outrigger and
2 paddles are tied down in the jungle.  Pairs from each tribe race to reach the
components, untie them and bring all to the beach.  Only then may the boats
be assembled.  Once completed, each tribe sends two members on the outrig-
gers off shore to snare a team flag.  Then, return to the beach tapping a team
banner on a pole just before the shore.  Lopevi walks away with this one, build-
ing a slight lead into a major thrashing.  Yasur is plagued by Rory's poor untie-
ing skills, and bad paddling from Ami and Travis. 

Back at Yasur Beach, Rory and Travis are worried.  They suspect they'll be
targetted.  DUH!!!  Ami talks with Scout about Bubba's message to Chris.  Ami
wants him gone first, then Rory next.  Scout goes to Leann and Eliza.  Leann
is all for booting one of the guys.  Eliza thinks it's a mistake.  She thinks they
may need the men later for physical challenges.  Besides, Eliza wants Lisa
gone!  Travis chats with Ami, asking that he not be blindsided.  Ami gives no
assurances.  As they march off to Tribal Council, Bubba and Rory pray for
divine intervention.  I think we already had that at the beginning of the show!?

At Tribal Council, Leann starts off on how wonderful it is having men around.
Lisa says that she is still pro-women, trying to make up for her earlier trans-
gressions.  Ami then calls out Travis, complaining about the pre-Immunity
chatting with his old teammates.  Bubba explains that he was hoping that Chris
would signal back whether they were playing strategically.  That Lopevi would
deliberately throw the challenge just to vote off a women prior to The Merge.
Ami and the other ladies are buying it.  Both Bubba and Rory then tell why they
should stay.  It's time to vote.  Bubba votes to boot Rory.  The rest, including
Rory, vote Bubba off.  LOL!  Some friends they were!  After Travis takes the
Walk of Shame, Jeff poses to Yasur Tribe two questions.  Will the women stay
united?  What if there is a merge?  What if indeed!

SPOILERS:  Rory, who is now thoroughly isolated and outnumbered, lays it
all on the line, telling the ladies he refuses to do any labor if he does not have
a fair shot at surviving the next Tribal Council.  Meanwhile, the ever-happy
Lopevi Tribe gets even happier, when Julie decides to do some topless sun-
bathing.  It doesn't get any better for Mark Burnett and the gods of television!
Maybe they'll censor Julie's boobs with Pringle's chips on each???