Why the Chicken Crossed the Road

Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?
This is what the following people said:

A kindergarten teacher: To get to the other side.

Plato: For the greater good.

Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

Julius Caesar: Of all chickens, this one is the bravest.

Genghis Khan: I can assure you, that no one will ever molest that chicken.

William Shakespeare: To meet with its lover.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Timothy Leary: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.

Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Jack Nicholson: 'cause it #@$%-ing wanted to. That's the @#$%-ing reason.

Ronald Reagan: I forget.

Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Hippocrates: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road ? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask?......What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?

Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying a multiplayer online sessionual insecurity.

Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.

Bill Clinton: I'm going to say something important. And I'll say it again to make sure you understand. I did not have a multiplayer online sessionual relations with that chicken. I did not.

Oliver Stone: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

Charles Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken, depends upon your frame of reference.

Ralph Waldo Emerson: The chicken did not cross the road ... it transcended it.

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

Isaac Newton: For every chicken crossing that road, there is always another chicken crossing from the opposite direction.

Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it ?

Colonel Sanders: I missed one?

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