14 Feb, 05 > 20 Feb, 05
17 Jan, 05 > 23 Jan, 05
27 Dec, 04 > 2 Jan, 05
13 Dec, 04 > 19 Dec, 04
6 Dec, 04 > 12 Dec, 04
29 Nov, 04 > 5 Dec, 04
15 Nov, 04 > 21 Nov, 04
1 Nov, 04 > 7 Nov, 04
11 Oct, 04 > 17 Oct, 04
4 Oct, 04 > 10 Oct, 04
20 Sep, 04 > 26 Sep, 04
6 Sep, 04 > 12 Sep, 04
30 Aug, 04 > 5 Sep, 04
23 Aug, 04 > 29 Aug, 04
16 Aug, 04 > 22 Aug, 04
9 Aug, 04 > 15 Aug, 04
2 Aug, 04 > 8 Aug, 04
26 Jul, 04 > 1 Aug, 04
19 Jul, 04 > 25 Jul, 04
12 Jul, 04 > 18 Jul, 04
5 Jul, 04 > 11 Jul, 04
28 Jun, 04 > 4 Jul, 04
21 Jun, 04 > 27 Jun, 04
14 Jun, 04 > 20 Jun, 04
7 Jun, 04 > 13 Jun, 04
31 May, 04 > 6 Jun, 04
24 May, 04 > 30 May, 04
17 May, 04 > 23 May, 04
10 May, 04 > 16 May, 04
3 May, 04 > 9 May, 04
26 Apr, 04 > 2 May, 04
19 Apr, 04 > 25 Apr, 04
12 Apr, 04 > 18 Apr, 04
5 Apr, 04 > 11 Apr, 04
29 Mar, 04 > 4 Apr, 04
22 Mar, 04 > 28 Mar, 04
15 Mar, 04 > 21 Mar, 04
8 Mar, 04 > 14 Mar, 04
1 Mar, 04 > 7 Mar, 04
23 Feb, 04 > 29 Feb, 04
16 Feb, 04 > 22 Feb, 04
2 Feb, 04 > 8 Feb, 04
19 Jan, 04 > 25 Jan, 04
12 Jan, 04 > 18 Jan, 04
Kool Mama Kat - This Kat is on a Hot Tin Roof!
Sunday, 11 July 2004
This is a "research" type sex blog that my best friend Tristan writes about every so often. She is a student of Psychology and a very smart and beautiful women. I thought I might share her latest entry...enjoy!It is long overdue for me to post another sex blog. Sorry for all of you who have been waiting patiently. Since it has been so long, I may in fact touch on material which I have already mentioned in last letters. Bare with me and let me know what you think. I have mentioned the Coolidge Effect, right?
To refresh everyone's memory, this is the occurrence where males and some times females will become more aroused by a new partner than by a familiar one. Introducing another potential partner will illicit excitement and thus one of the partner's is capable or rather desires arousal with the new person.
The Coolidge Effect was named after the president when he and his wife toured a farm and were taken by a chicken coop. The First Lady "noticed a single large rooster roaming the area in a confident manner, all alone among the females"...... she asked the farmer whether the rooster was able to perform sexually more than once per day. The man replied that yes, the rooster was in fact able to copulate dozens of times each day. "The first lady responded, 'Please point that out to Mr. Coolidge.' When the president came by, the farmer told him about the rooster. Mr. Coolidge then asked, "Same hen every time? The farmer replied that no, the rooster would actually copulate with dozens of different females each day." With this, the president asked the farmer to tell that to the first lady.
When thinking about this, I often wonder if I ever get married, would the coolidge effect be an issue? I mean, IF after time the person you are with becomes familiar ...when you think about it... every woman would have an advantage over me, right? Wow... that sucks! Some stats:(NHSLS)
The book refers to young couples, but does not specify what ages. Some state couples of all ages, even elderly, which could give reasoning to these stats.
- Couples who have been married for an average of 17 yrs. The mean frequency of intercourse was once or twice a week.
- Only 7% of all married couples in the US have sex 4+ times/week (1994)
-14% of married couples reported that they had sex only a few times or not at all in an entire yr.
In Baumeister's book
, he states that marriage is the death of passion. There are both intrinsic and extrinsic constraints to sex. Intrinsic factors are those who do something for the benefit or pure enjoyment, or b/c you simple like doing it. Extrinsic motivations are doing things to gain a reward. Like doing something because you have to or because you get paid to do it. "Marriage is an extrinsic constraint that undermines intrinsic enjoyment of sex.
Sex is part of the contract of marriage, and married people are expected to have sex. Hence when they are married they may start to perceive sex as a duty or obligation rather than as something they want to do for the sheer enjoyment of it." As a result and obviously, one would stop wanting to do it. This could be an indicator why the frequency of sex declines as a couple "jumps off the plank!"
So, if the facts point toward a dwindled sex life after marriage, why get hitched? I'm not here to answer that question, because relationships of any kind are too complicated. But, is there a way to save the sex lives of my cohabiting and married friends? Yes!!!!!! Glad to be of some use to you all. First of all, it is best to keep some things secret!
Create novelty into your lives. Remember that long ago, men were aroused by the sight of a woman's ankles! If only the women in this lifetime covered up their bodies (except ankles of course), we'd be turning heads at every corner. Another example is in ancient China, women (upper-class) wore their feet bounded until they were married. On their wedding night, the man would unwrap his wife's feet, and for the first time, revealing her bare feet. Many men would have spontaneous orgasms from this experience. So, even feet were once a novelty. Since we show these parts daily, we must find other ways to keep our men aroused, and interested and add mystery in the bedroom.
So, what is novelty? What are examples that we can use? Glad you asked. Novelty is what occurs when you kiss someone for the first time or it even occurs the first few times you kiss that person. Sex is another example, and all of the foreplay in between; and if it's your thing: anal sex, oral sex, etc. (I was trying to keep this as clean as possible so I could send it to family members, but might not be able to do so.) When or rather after you engage in the act a few times, it also becomes familiar and the interest wears off. My advice would be to keep things under control. Do one thing until it becomes routine, and then introduce another act until it produces the same affect. Even erotic films or for you adventurists out there, introduce pornography. This will illicit excitement and stimulate an increase in sex. (Or so Baumeister states.) Although pornography is more appealing to men than to women, yet some report that there is no gender difference. I guess it just depends on your own interests. *Novelty,if this is in fact a way to keep the heat going in the bedroom, it is a bitch.
Conserving novelty means that one must sacrifice immediate pleasure. :( Sorry!!! Yet, I guess if you try novelty and after a while end up copulating, that's exciting too.
On the other hand, when novelty becomes familiar, this and the coolidge effect are both indicators which cause people to not only cheat, but perhaps desire S&M, threesomes, swinging, an audience, etc. Who falls in love faster?
I have read many times in the course of the last few months that men fall in love faster than women. It has taken much effort to find data to support this claim, and even though I have yet to find convincing support, I am going to share this with all of you anyway. At first, I casted my doubt on this statement, unsure if it were true.... In my own opinion, if the man falls in love faster than the woman, perhaps it is the love or strong desires for sex which illicit these deep feeling and not a longing for a monogamous, unconditional and emotional attachment. (Although, I could be wrong.) Here's what the text states:
-"men are ready for an exclusive "couple" relationship instead of merely dating after an average of 2.5 months, whereas for women the interval is closer to 6 months, and men are also quicker to reach the point of expecting the relationship to lead to marriage" I'm having to read this sentence more than once, because I don't think it's correct. I always thought men tried their best to avert a long, committed relationship. And all of the girls I know are out there everyday in attempts to find their mate. I'm still trying to think of examples that support this fact. The only one I can think of is that many of the guys I've dated who I am not interested in fall for me faster, and unfortunately, the guys I fall for are restless and fickle and disinterested in me. Maybe it's a matter of attractiveness....willingness.....or time spent uncommitted. Tell me what you think? Ever wonder why many women or some men enjoy face-to-face sex?
Face-to-face allows the couple to exchange gazes which actually increases passion and intimacy. (Kissing also increases feelings, of passion and intimacy, that's why many prostitutes do not kiss their clients.) In 1989, Kellerman et.al. did an experimental study in which male and female pairs were randomly assigned to look into each others eyes for a period of 2 minutes at close range. After the duration, the results indicated that these people ended up having stronger feelings toward each other: feelings of interest, warmth, attraction, and romantic love!! So, there you go... if you have your eye on someone out there, just walk up and grab him or her, and gaze into each others eyes for a minute or two.... they will be smittin' before you know it... well, in 2 minutes according to Kellerman. Yet, I have to cast my doubts on this one too. A funny story comes to mind....
I was always taught that it is proper to make eye contact when speaking with someone in conversation. Last year, I was at the grocery store and I saw a guy from my past, who I had not seen since elementary school. We spoke for a while and ended up exchanging numbers/e-mail addresses to keep in touch. A week or two went by and I received an e-mail from this guy professing his desires to see me. The point of my story is that he also stated (many times) that "he knew that I had *deep feelings* for him because of the way I LOOKED IN HIS EYES while we were talking!!" Shocked and confused, I took it as a red flag and discouraged the idea of ever corresponding again. So, the moral of this story is that even friendly mannerisms can or could produce increased feelings in ones that you desire or don't desire for that matter. (Be careful who's eyes you look into!!)
I hope everyone is doing well and enjoying their summer!
Love you all!
Thursday, 8 July 2004
Here is a pretty online poll at Rock the Vote check it out it only takes like 3 minutes...click this LINK
sometimes our opinions to make a difference and sometimes our voices can be heard!
Here is a little info on it:
From online voter registration to hitting the streets, Rock the Vote is mobilizing the new generation to register and get out to vote on Election Day.
It's time to let us know what you think about the issues, the candidates, the future of our country?and how it all plays out in this election.
We?re conducting a groundbreaking research project to find out what is on the minds of people who have newly registered to vote this election cycle. We want your ideas, opinions and reactions to the candidates. We want to hear from YOU on who you are and how, why, where, and when you decided to represent!
Below is a short online poll to help us understand what makes the new generation tick.
Keep in mind that this is a bona fide research project. There are some very smart professors from Stanford and UCLA heading it up.
Wednesday, 7 July 2004
Home Sweet Home!
Now Playing: The Voices in my head!
My house is starting to feel like home...I just wonder when that new
feeling will become routine. You know how exciting it is when you drive down your street to your house for the first few weeks..well I will cherish that for a while.
My cats are driving me crazy! They are used to being able to go out whenever they want but not anymore..we live on a well traveled street now and I'm not about to scrape any kitties off the side of the rode...for the most part they seem happy- but at night time they are wild! They play and try to climb the blinds and attack my feet in my sleep!! These are 4 year old cats not kittens!!!! Hopefully they will settle down, if not they will be banned to the garage at bedtime!
I don't know how my neighbors feel about us yet...we are smokers and we smoke outside, so we're out a lot and we have company a lot too....No loud parties or music...well, sometimes...but who knows what they think of us sometimes...the other night on the 4rth...Patrick and a couple of friends got up on the roof to watch the fireworks..my neighbors probably think were crazy but whatever..crazy is exciting to say the least!
So Kerry picked a VP candidate! I'm not crazy about either of my choices but I will go with the lesser of 2 evils, and Bush is evil with a capital E! Hopefully Kerry comes in and makes America what it needs to be and what we represent. This is not my America!
Anyway enough for now I shall dive
back in to unpacking
Sunday, 4 July 2004
Well, all I can say is I'm so glad to be settled in...almost. But I am glad to be back here..I've missed posting for complete and total strangers to read....there is nothing like it.
My house is coming along slowly but it's nice to have something that is mine. I'm really tired and sore so there is not much in me right now to say except I'm back and I'll be blogging again in no time! Bratcat I love your new look...and Muddy your mom's site is really cool!! I'll be by to visit!!
Ciao for now!
Saturday, 26 June 2004
Packing & Moving- Oh My!
Ahh! We've been packing and moving for a couple os days now. Yesterday we "closed" on our house and have been non-stop since. I've never been so unprepared to move! Packing as you go really
takes too much time!
I just can't wait to get comfy in my newest home! I may be offline for a few days (hopefully not). I'll be around though :-)
See you on the flip side~
Ciao` Kool Mama
Tuesday, 22 June 2004
Well this is the week that we close on our house!! At least that's the plan anyway. Considering I've only got about 5 boxes packed I'm not really ready to move! The move is just down the street so I'm not going to stress to much...My cats will need a couple of weeks to adjust..no going outside for them until they have gotten used to all the new smells...My poor kitties have moved so many times..across states- they have really become pros!
My step-daughter turns 10 tomorrow...the big double digits!!! God help me! She already thinks she's 16! I guess it's all downhill from here...haha
I saw my little neice this weekend...she is tooo cute...I love the way her little chin quivers when she cries.
Fathers Day was nice. We had a huge luch at my Mother in Laws house and then met some friends at the beach for a day of fishing, boogie boarding, and skim boarding...it was good fun..I thought about forgeting the holiday since my husband messed up Mother's Day but I decided that wouldn't be to cool..especially since the kids were so into it! I think he learned his lesson!
I'm off to pack..hopefully anyway..Ciao
Wednesday, 16 June 2004
Some changes.....change is good!
Well I decided it was high time I made a few changes around here...with the prospect of many new changes on my horizon I felt my blog was ready for a new look! What do ya think???
I also added 2 more links to the left...one is the Revelation under cool sites...this site will change the way you think about a lot of things. Also added another link to My Inspirations...check out Dan Brown. Author of The Da Vinci Code. Wow! is all I can say about him. I just read "Angels and Demons" a book by Dan Brown, it is the prequil to The Da Vinci Code...you have to read this book!!!!! Also read the Taking by Dean Koontz...another MUST READ book!!! I won't spoil the fun by telling you what it's about!!!!
I also deleted my other blog...Raising Chitlins...I honestly was very excited about doing that blog but I just don't have the time right now...I will try again in the future.
We are due to close in a couple of weeks on our house so I'm getting anxious! I really have to buckle down and get to packing...oh how I despise packing!
I have to thank you guys for your kind words regarding my last blog entry...it's nice to know there are good decent people in this world.
So for now check out my new links and let me know what ya think of the new look!!!!
Saturday, 12 June 2004
Is there anybody out there???
Now Playing: The Strokes
Happy Weekend to all!
I'm taking mine for what it is. You know that song "Why can't we be fiends" that's my motto this week. I have had the worse luck in the friend department since living in Florida. I don't know if it's just part of growing up or I'm just terribly naive. I really can't answer this question and I don't know if anyone else can. One of the only 2 people that comment on my blog is gone...the other is a cat..but a way cool cat at that!
A dear friend of mine is not who she used to be. I don't know what has become of our friendship but it hurts my heart terribly. Our boys have grown up together since they were in utero...now I don't know who she is. She was once someone I looked up to and know she just breaks my heart..
In my experince making friends since high school everyone has a motive...they don't want to offer genuine freindship. If I have nothing to offer other that just being a friend then whats the point. I don't understand this kind of thinking or motivation. I may not be as exciting as the next gal but I am a damn good person with an honest heart. I will NOT wrong you.
As for men- let's just say if I was not married I would be soooo alone! I don't trust any man as far as I can throw him- except my husband of course...Men disgust men..some are so heartless and ruthless that they're a disgrace to the human race...Agenda anyone?????
If ever I am a naive person then it has to be when carrying on a conversation with another man....Just when I believe his not picturing me with my clothes off he goes and messes it all up!
I will officially dress like a nun and make no eye contact with another man as long as I live! AARRGGG!!!
My kids are God sent..really...I see God's beauty and unconditional love in them....I might not say that 6 yrs. from now when my daughter is learning to drive and dating but I can savour this moment for a little while longer...My little cherubs for sure!!
I know there is a bigger purpose for me somewhere out there..I've just yet to see it for what it really is...Is it to continue being around dysfunctional people and take what I can learn from there messed up situations...I don't know...but it is starting to wear on me...I don't want to be the company that I keep.
Monday, 7 June 2004
Well I'm Back!
I had an excellent trip. It was very nuturing to spend some quality time with my mom and grandma. 2 very wise women.
Saturday the kids had soccer tournaments all day and then awards...5 hours at the soccer field and I'm done until the fall! Yeah! Afterwards we went to Chuck E. Cheese for my daughters awards ceremony thingie and her Coach came onto me....It was disturbing b/c his wife was there but had her back turned...I could have caused a scene but I didn't want to in front of my kids or any of the other ones for that matter. I don't want my daughter's image of soccer to be tainted b/c of her sick coach, however he will never coach her again! I don't understand why men are such perv's and why they can't keep their sicko thoughts to themselves.
My hours got cut today b/c of a concrete shortage...Apparently all concrete is being shipped to China for a dam the communist are building so it has slowed down my company's business...We are alomost a month behind building homes...which means no money which means no hours...Isn't it ironic how the communist affect my job from so far away!
Nothing else really exciting going on just normal life! I'm enjoying the summer with my kids for now!
Saturday, 29 May 2004
Now Playing: the dogs playing with each other
Well I'm having a grand ol' time here in TN...we had a great flight and Aaron just thought it was the greatest thing!! I love flying once I'm in the air it's just the airports that make me insane!
My sister's graduation was nice..she looked beautiful as usual...I saw my dad for the first time in 2 1/2 years...it was odd at first but I had a couple of drinks before hand to soothe my nerves so that helped....I don't really expect much from our encounter so we'll just see what happens.
My best friend Suzanne is coming up tonight from Nashville and we're going to go out and party!!!! Much needed break from Aaron and from her husband...hehe....
I miss my husband and daughter and kitties..and Florida but I am having a good time...Anyway I probably won't get a chance to get here until I'm back home so until then big hugs and love...
P.S. My folks got the cutest little yellow Lab named sugar..she's such a fun little pup!!! I'm plotting to bring her home!
Tuesday, 25 May 2004
It's been a while...and...it's going to be a little while longer!
Ahhh! I was so incredibly sick over the weekend! A stomach bug I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy! I have never in my life been so sick. However it is over and done with and I am for the most part normal again.
I became an auntie today!!!!!!!! Actually at 1:09 a.m. this morning...what a beautiful little cherub she is...Kacie Lynn 8lbs. 1oz. fat and pink....just as perfect as she can be! Momasita is doing well also! To bad I have to leave town as I want to hold this brand new fragile little thing forever with her cute little dimples!
Headed out to Tennessee tomorrow until next Tuesday...my sister is graduating and it will be my first! I'm so proud of her as I'm sure I've already mentioned that before.
I will try my damndest to keep up with this while I'm gone but no promises....Love and Hugs!!!!
Friday, 21 May 2004
I did it!
I started my other blog it is called Raising Chitlins'
so check it tell me what ya think and pass it on.
First and foremost I love you! You have always inspired the good in me and I have always admired your beauty. You are an amazingly strong women who has already accomplished so much.
As for not reaching some of the milestones that some of your other friends have...you are reaching your own at your own pace and you will be married with a career and children when your time is right.
You know I'm not a very religous person but I do believe God never gives us more than we can handle and everything happens in his time....perhaps you were meant to graduate college first and start your career before a family...perhaps you were meant to go through a few bad relationships to make you stronger for the right one...who knows, but I do know that you are beautiful inside and out and one day it will all happen for you and I will be right there beside you celebrating your happiness.
Take your time and be young and enjoy being you..one day you'll be old and gray like me...LOL..just kidding...even though I am graying..I love my little family and my life but sometimes I really envy some of my friends in school who go to parties and concerts and have so many freedoms that motherhood restricts me from...but I honestly wouldn't change it for the world..and I think I will always be a kid at heart..I still feel like I'm in middle school in many ways and I hope I never loose that feeling...your only as old as you feel....
I love you Tristan.....
Thursday, 20 May 2004
Who woulda thought...........
Who woulda thought that there is such thing as Kitty Porn
This is news to me as I was just searching for information about cat-nip and this is what I found....you just have to see it for yourself...it's not as bad as it sounds.
~Kool Mama Kat
Saturday, 15 May 2004
Now Playing: The Cramps
I think we might actually be getting a house. The Sellers accepted our contract so now we get in to the nitty gritty part of it! It's a cute cozy home....
I've been asked to write another poem to be published in a book called "The Who's Who In Poetry" So that's book #3...it's a start and will hopefully look nice on my resume....
Got drunk last night...had a nice time....did the soccer thing this morning...over it.....my 9 yr. old's mouth is really getting old....over it too!
Going to bake in the sun....love it!
Thursday, 13 May 2004
Oh my God!
It is disgusting that this kind of slime exist anywhere. It is the essence of what is inhumane. People are NOT destined nor made to experience this sort of torture. Only a monster of huge magnitude perform act's so horribly wrong.
You have to see IT
I can only pray for the the people that died at the hands of such evil. I can only pray for the people who perform such acts, for you will have the rath no doubt. This is why everyone has a voice, and why everyone should have freedom of speech and life. Never forget what you have and possibly don't have.
Monday, 10 May 2004
Now Playing: Jack Johnson
Mother's Day has forever been cursed for me. Ever since my very first Mother's Day I have never looked forward to the big day. It is nothing special to me anymore. My great-grandmother passed away Friday and was buried yesterday (Mother's Day) To top that off my husband didn't get me anything for Mother's Day either. My birthday was a month ago...he got me nothing....Not that I really expect anything...I'm not materialistic, nor conceited and selfish....but a card would be nice...it totally does it for...It's the thought right???? I kinda feel forgot...I am raising 2 children one of which is not biologically mine....I deserve a bit of acknowledgement.
My grandma was a super special women! She live 87 long full-filled years. Cancer got the best of her...I know her beautiful soul is in a much better place now...
My soccer mom pendant finally made it in the mail!!! I know it's nothing to get crazy over or anything, but it was kinda like a Mother's Day gift to myself and I am a prideful Mama!
I told my husband this morning that my feelings were a little hurt...and luckily for him he feels like shit!!!
Wednesday, 5 May 2004
Now Playing: Tribe Called Quest
It's been a while I know! It's hard to type with an infected paper cut! I've been so freaking busy man! Soccer is just to much...I have fun and the kids are lovin' it, it's just so damn demanding! We found a house that we fell in love with but it is so infested with termites that they have to put a tent on it and fumigate...so needless to say we aren't going to get the house and I'm extremely disappointed! Who knows how much damage those little bastards have done!
The weather has been so beautiful lately! I must get to the beach, I have been slacking...as a true Floridian by nature now it is my duty to tan that booty!
O.K. so that was a little cheesy but I had to do it...Right now I'm officially artistically retarted. Seriously I need a muse, some sort of inspiration....I feel quiet boring at my present state...If you met me on the street you would find me rather boring...though by nature I'm kinda exciting, full of surprises, and love shock value!
Anyway I'm out the door so I will try my hardest to stop neglecting this poor thing....
Ciao~ Kool Mama Kat
Thursday, 29 April 2004
Now Playing: The Breeders
My inner child is sixteen years old!
Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.
How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla
Tuesday, 27 April 2004
Now Playing: Tribe called Quest
Whew! It's been a while. I really have been neglecting this thing haven't I. Things have been very busy in my little life!
Friday Scotty came down from Orlando and stayed the night. He's a good friend of ours that is so incredibly funny. We had so much fun. Had a few beers. Patrick was messing around with some drum beat program and Scotty was rapping! Man can that white boy rap!! He brought his guitar and was playing a song he just wrote and Aaron my son loved it! He said it made his heart feel good! Only out of the mouth of babe's!
Saturday Aaron had a Soccer game. Let me remind you he is just 4 yrs. old. They did pretty good. Soooo cute to watch these little rugrats run around kicking the ball.
Sunday was my lazy day. I read a Dean Koontz novel in like 6 hrs. It was really suspensful! The family and I ate dinner outside b/c the weather was just beautiful. I truly do love S. Florida! We watched Alias..my fav. show. I don't know what I'll do over the summer without my shows!!!!
Yesterday back to work....Payroll to be down, bills to pay, homes to build...the usual. My boss hasn't been so perverted lately..Thank God!
Today I'm doing Marketing for Papa John's- or at least I'm suppose to- as soon as I get off of here anyway. Get Aaron a haircut and then off to more Soccer games tonight...It's never ending!
I bought a sterling silver charm on eBay that say's Soccer Mom!! It was only $1.00!!
So that's what's up with me...sorry it took so long to get back to this thing. Big love and hugs to all!
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