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My life began when I was in my mother's womb being force fed. I'm not quite sure how I ended up there, but by some miraculous conception, there I was, a human being ready for action. My Mom has told me stories of how much I used to kick when I was still inside her womb, and now I'm beginning to understand why. And this is the story of my life.
I was born in Roslyn, NY on July 29, 1982. Actually, I was born at North Shore University Hospital in North Shore, but my parents lived in Roslyn at the time. Things were quiet, life was good. I had a brother, 12, and a sister, 10, at the time. The sun shined, the birds chirped, I cried. Life was good.
I began kindergarten. I made a friend named Ari, and one named Josh. Things were good. Ari was a very smart and good kid, while Josh was a very bad influence. At the ripe age of 6, my mother told me I was no longer able to play with Josh. I cried. Life was bad. Islam was forced upon me.
First grade was a blast. I was the only boy who knew how to read. I helped everybody else and felt good, felt sure of myself. Life was good. I spent much time with Ari playing nintendo and riding our bicycles. We made paper airplanes and had contests with them. I loved those paper airplanes. Life was good.
In fourth grade, I met Stu. Stu was mean, vulgar, and had a lot of arcades in his basement. I played there for a few years. Sometimes, I would call Stu but he'd tell me how much he hated me and didn't want to talk to me. I didn't know why. I still don't. Things were ok. I forgot about Ari and the nights we spent playing Hero's Quest. We were good friends. Life was decent.
I met Tony in fifth grade. Life has never been the same. Tony was shy, nice, funny, and very opinionated. We played Magic: The Gathering with his brother Ken. School was easy. Life was fun. I had lots of friends, most of which I'd never play with after fifth grade. I don't know why. Life was good again.
In sixth grade, I hung out with Stu a lot, and Tony from time to time. I still hung out with Ari and his friends from time to time. Ari's friends didn't like Stu, but I did. Stu and I met this kid named Alan. He was cool for a little while. Then he became mean and we didn't like him anymore. We lied to him. Things were bad. We were bad. We stole a porno. We met Jahan. We made a clubhouse. Life was different.
I became good friends with Adam, AC, Matt, Ian, and Mike in 8th grade. Things were exceptionally good. We hung out every friday, with Tony too. These guys didn't like Stu, so I didn't either. I was foolish, but Stu was more trouble than I was able to handle. I left Stu for these guys. I woke up that year, and it changed my life. I got rejected by a girl. Life was excellent.
Mike, Shawn, Craig, Eli, Bill, and John all came into my life as new friends in my freshman year of high school. I somehow combined the two groups of friends I had made, and we became one large group. Ian became very popular so he left us, as did the first Mike. They were foolish for leaving our crew. We began hanging out with Stu. I was happy again. No worries, straight A's, and a great life.
My first girlfriend was Rori, in 10th grade. She was a freshman at the time, and she couldn't have made it more obvious that she liked me. We were friends, and her and her friends hung out with us too. We had a large circle of friends. Rori broke up with me a month after we began going out. We kissed lots but I "was moving too fast" and she "wasn't ready." I cried a lot. She said sorry, I didn't care. I hated her. Life went on. Life was bad. Islam was still forced upon me.
I remember meeting Dave and Bill in 11th grade. Dave had a car. It was cool. We all piled into Dave's car and went places. John too had his license, so we began exploring Roslyn and the surrounding cities. Unfortunately, we found nothing of interest. I met a girl named Sammi and I had a huge crush on her. It was bad. I wrote my first two short stories about her. It was pathetic. I could barely talk to her. I was a whimp.
I spoke to AC a lot about it, he told me that I wouldn't want to go out with her. He discouraged me. I was angry. I told my parents I wanted a girlfriend. That was very hard to do since my parents are very religious Muslims. They freaked out. I cried a lot. I told my parents I was going to kill myself. Life was horrible. AC helped me. I was ok. I grew my hair long. It looked bad. I was very discouraged. I hated my life. Everything sucked.
I turned 17. I got taken down to the police station for tresspassing. Stu, Mike, Ken, Bill, and Mike's brother, Sean were all with me. I was stupid, then I was angry. My parents picked me up. I cried. I felt like such a horrible person. I cried even more. My parents forgave me, and told me to not hang around Stu anymore. I said ok, and didn't talk to Stu for about a month. Then everything after that was fine. I cut my hair. Life was dangerous, adventurous, troublesome, bothersome, and annoying.
I hated living, and wanted to die. I didn't want to committ suicide as I was too bound by my religious beliefs that had been forced upon me. Nothing else stopped me.
In 12th grade I was determined to win her. But I couldn't. Flowers didn't work, nothing. Her name was Brie, and boy was I dumb. I was angrier. I was ugly. I became more reflective. I became more reflective with Tony and John who also had females they "admired." So we admired them together, as a unit. I became closer with Bill. Josh was in my physics and english classes. He was a bad student, rowdy, loud, and an obnoxious person. I liked him. He was cool. We were cool. Classes were more pointless.
I still didn't smoke or drink. I was still a virgin. I slept through my classes. Life was bearable.
I turned 18 on July 29, 2000. In my 18th year, I was no longer a virgin. I put aside religion and began living on my own. I began drinking, smoking, and making less stupid mistakes. I became more responsible, more independant. I hated my parents even more. They betrayed my privacy. I loved life even more because of my hatred. I learned to love to hate life. I became at an equilibrium. That equilibrium has become the lifeblood of me. I am it. I love life. I love myself. I am forever together. I am Mal.
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