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Food. Rent on a crappy little hole of an apartment. Some basic supplies. Paid Dawn back for some stuff. That's my paycheck gone! Six bucks left to my name.
I wonder what kind of formalwear I can get for six bucks?
I'm not gonna mooch any more off of Dawn. I told her I was all set for tonight. Or Giles either. He hasn't offered anything but weapons anyway. I got my first paycheck in advance, but they won't give me two. I was lucky to get even one–I've only worked at the place for a couple of days, and I'm not settling into office work too great. Gotta look for another job now that I'm pretty well healed.
OK, here's the place. This is where Red and Tara said they like to shop. Once upon a time I'd have broken in and helped myself. Now I gotta beg.
The owner isn't impressed by my pay stub. "We don't offer credit. If you don't have a credit card you gotta pay cash."
"But I really need a dress bad! I have a big date, it's all planned! I'll... I'll work it off! I'll start right now, I'm real strong, I can move stuff or..." But he's shaking his head, annoyed.
"Hey, Greg!" calls a girl tidying the racks at the back of the store, "Look at her arm, she's the girl with the tattoos!"
What's that mean? "Um, I've never been in here before..."
He looks at me and then his face lights up. "Of course, the tattoos... Faith! I should have remembered the name... you're all set, you've got a hundred dollars."
"What?"
He hands me a slip of paper from behind the register. A hundred dollar gift certificate. "What... why?"
"A girl was in here this morning. She said you'd be coming in. Left you this."
Dawnie! I shake my head. I really don't want it to cost my girlfriend a hundred bucks to go to a little dance! "What was her name?"
He shrugs. "Red hair. Real pretty girl."
Willow!
I don't really want to start mooching off Willow, either. But she went to the trouble of coming down here... and I am shit outta options.
I think I can safely call Red a friend of mine again. I'm glad.
They have all kinds of things here that I can see myself in. But this one... looking at it on the hanger, I can't even tell what it covers and what it doesn't. That's my kinda dress!
I try it on. Oh, yeah. A little on the expensive side, but this is the dress to wear for my girl! And it covers Dawn's name tattooed on my collarbone, so she can stay safely in the closet at school.
Now... black shoes to match, a little makeup, and new underwear. A dress like this won't work with the undies I've got. They'd show through every which way.
But the shoes alone bring the total to a hundred and three. That leaves about three bucks to take my girl out for a Coke. At a vending machine.
I look and look but there are no cheaper shoes that could possibly work. And I can't wear another dress. This is the one!
Oh, well. Them's the breaks. I've gone without underwear lots of times!
"Hey, Tara, how's the arm?"
Tara tugs at the sling on her arm. "Doesn't hurt much. Come on in. Buffy and Dawn aren't back yet. How about the ribs?"
"Ready to dance the night away. Is Red home?"
"Upstairs."
"You've got yourself quite a girl there."
She leads the way up with a shy smile. "I know."
Willow's reading in bed. I hold up my shopping bag. "You saved my life, Red. I'll pay ya back every penny. Promise."
"It's a gift."
I shake my head. "I'll pay it back."
"You can't. It's not a gift for you. Dawnie's been looking forward to this for weeks."
"Wow. Well... Thanks just the same. I guess I better get changed."
"Wait," says Tara, cuddling up next to Willow. "Can you keep a secret from Dawn?"
"Sure. But I won't. Kinda getting out of that habit."
"Her birthday's coming up," says Willow.
"Sweet sixteen."
"Yep. You're invited to the party, of course, if you and Buffy can play nice. But we need your opinion on our gift. If you can keep it secret."
"Yeah, I can keep that kind of secret. What are you getting her?"
Tara explains. "We've been doing all kinds of research into what she is, how she was made, all that. And we–"
"I need to know. All of it."
Willow smiles. "We'll tell you and Buffy anything we learn. But one thing we've already figured out. A spell that will let her see her true self. The Key. Or she can let anybody else see if she wants to."
"Buffy thinks it's a terrible idea," says Tara. "She says Dawn just wants to be real and normal. And she's right... But... Dawn says you've seen her real self. She says you think she's beautiful. I guess I saw her too, when Glory messed up my brain, but I don't remember."
Willow leans forward. "Is she gonna want to see herself or not? You'd know that best of anyone. We don't want to give her the spell for her birthday if we're not sure it's a good thing."
Wow. I think about that a while. Dawn told me she didn't want anyone to see her true self. She hates not being real, as she puts it. But... "I think she should be proud of what she is. And I think she will be if she sees. She was already the most beautiful thing I've ever seen... and then I saw her true form. I couldn't even breathe. She's like a goddess or... I don't know... She's pure green light, greener than any color you ever saw, and brighter than the sun... I..." I'm getting watery-eyed just thinking of it. "Yeah. She should see herself. It's an awesome gift."
Tara gives Willow a little squeeze. "Then we'll do it. Or at least... I'll do it. I hope Buffy can understand."
"Now," says Willow with a grin, "let's see this dress!"
I take it out of the bag. It doesn't look like much on the hanger. "Is there... more?" asks Tara.
They clear out so I can use their room to change. I re-do my lipstick and adjust my hair just right.
"All set," I call out the door, and the witches come back upstairs.
They gape at me in total shock.
Willow clears her throat. "You do know this is a high school dance, right? High school as in teachers and books and cheerleaders... not as in selling your body to the night?"
I do a little spin on my high heels, feeling their eyes on my bare stomach, thighs, and... well, most everyplace. And loving it. "It covers what it needs to!"
They stare silently for a while longer. Tara starts to stammer. "Do... do you need to borrow a b-bra...?"
"Or panties even?" adds Willow.
"Nah. I'll just cross my legs when I sit down. I feel nice and comfy actually."
"Do us all a favor," says Willow slowly. "Don't let Buffy see that dress."
Hmmmm. She's probably right about that!
"I'll distract Buffy," offers Tara. "Stay in here until Dawn's ready and then I'll get Buffy down in the basement helping with some spell or something."
"Thanks."
Willow shakes her head. "You can get a lot more dress than that for a hundred bucks."
My sister is the best! She still doesn't like Faith, and I can't sleep over at her new place or anything. But she finally let me take Faith to the dance. This is gonna be so much fun! We can finally have a night out!
"How do I look?" I chose a simple dark blue dress with some sparkly parts. A little cleavage but not enough to get Buffy mad.
Buffy gives me a forced smile. "You look great." The smile fades. "If anything happens, you call me and I'll be right there to pick you up."
I roll my eyes. "Nothing's gonna happen."
"OK. But I worry about you. Making trouble is Faith's one true talent. And I've got your social worker breathing down my neck."
"I'm a big girl, Buffy."
That makes her sad, somehow. "Yeah. I guess you are. Look, I gotta help Tara with a spell, are you all set?"
"Five by five."
Oops! I taught that to Faith years ago and now she's got me saying it again. But I know it drives Buffy crazy. She gives me a warning look and heads down to the basement.
Willow comes down the stairs wearing a very weird expression.
"Is Faith ready?" I ask.
"She's coming down in a minute."
And there she is.
Oh. My. God.
I try to speak but my throat is dry. She takes my hand and kisses it. "Wow. You look gorgeous, sweetie!"
I swallow. "You look... really... really... hot."
Faith smiles mischievously. And then it hits me. Buffy was right! Taking Faith to school is asking for trouble. But I don't care. I want her to meet my friends and teachers. I want her to know I'm proud of her.
Willow pins a white flower to my chest and starts to do the same to Faith but... there's not much to pin anything to. Faith takes it and pins it to a little black strap. Little black straps are definitely a major theme with her dress. I bet it used up half of her paycheck.
We wave to Willow at the door and set out on foot. I can't peel my eyes off of my girlfriend to save my life.
"Faith.... is this supposed to help me not want sex?"
She puts her arm through mine. "Like I said, the wanting is the good part!"
I let Dawn into my new place, and her face says it all. I sigh. "I know. It's crappy. Even worse than my room in Boston."
She stares a while. "I don't care. It's our place. We'll make it nice." Our place. I like the sound of that.
I light a candle. That's all the romance I can afford. Not even a radio for music. But from Dawn's eager smile, you'd think we were at the nicest restaurant in town. I pull her chair out for her... well, her crate... and set the table... or the bigger crate. And then I whip up four grilled cheese sandwiches with bacon bits. Each one cut into nine bite-size pieces, just the way we used to do when we were first together.
"Dinner is served!" I give her my only plate. I can eat off the pan. And two pop cans fresh from the leaky fridge.
This place is depressing as hell. But the food is good and my beautiful girlfriend and I are alone for the first time in over a week. We're as happy as can be.
"I've got some old sheets with nice colors," says Dawn between bites. "We'll hang them up and hide every wall. And I'll get the Christmas lights! It will be so cool!"
"You're officially in charge of decorating. I want this to be a place you want to come visit!"
"I'll come hang out every chance I get, you know I will!"
"Which means never, unless Buffy loosens her grip."
"Well she let us go to the dance. That's a start."
I see Dawnie grow thoughtful, and then sad, as she finishes her sandwich. I touch her cheek. "Whatcha thinkin'?"
She doesn't answer at first. "I think... I think Buffy doesn't want me."
I get up, kneel beside her, and hold her around the waist. I know that's been her big fear ever since Buffy came back. "Buffy loves you."
"When that demon poison got to her, she dreamed her life was different. They way she wanted it to be, with Mom and Dad. But not me."
"I don't think that's quite what it did to her, Dawnie. She thought she was in the looney bin... I don't think that's what she really wants! And she didn't just attack you... she went after Willow and Xander too. Even Tara. Right?"
She shrugs. Not comforted.
"Dawnie, Buffy's having a really bad year. She was in Heaven and now she's back here. And right now she feels like I'm stealing you and Giles away from her. I know she loves you, more than anything in the world. Believe me, I can tell. That's why you're here with me right now. Don't ever forget the gift she gave you. Her life in trade for yours. And I know you love her too. You should tell her that."
She smiles with a sniffle. "'K. I will. You're right." We kiss. "Thanks, Faith."
"Now... I don't know about you but I'm in the mood for some dancing!"
The smile widens. "Me too."
I find my friends first. "Hey guys, this is Faith! Faith, this is Kevin... and Carlos... that's Janice over by the punch... oh and here's Kit. You and Kit should get along great, you're the only girls here with black lipstick." Well, Faith's isn't quite black, but... close enough.
Faith shakes their hands. "Haven't really been to school in a while. It's kinda cool to be back." And Faith is all about cool tonight. She got a new look since I knew her in Boston, but the attitude's the same. I'll have to keep an eye on her so she doesn't find a bully and pick a fight.
My friends are a little overwhelmed I think. They know Faith was my best friend in Boston, but she's a bit much to take all at once. And there's an awful lot of her hanging out of that dress. If they only knew about me and her! Not ready to deal with that yet though.
"Well hey," comes a snide voice at my ear. "It's the losers who couldn't get dates!"
Kirstie. Queen of the Beotches. With the captain of the basketball team smirking at her arm.
"Get lost, Kirstie," I mutter. She is not going to ruin tonight!
She looks Faith up and down. "Who's the whore?"
"My favorite game!" says Faith, getting in Kirstie's face. "'Cept I'd lose to you every time." Oh, no. Deja vu. This could be just about any day of the week back in Boston. Ending with Faith in detention. And Faith has heard all about Kirstie from me.
"Forget her, Faith, she's not worth the air she breathes."
But Kirstie is already sweeping away across the floor, giggling and pointing back at us.
We get some punch, make fun of the Razorback Pride decorations, and then the music picks up and we take the floor. "You know," says Faith, following me, "you're the second person ever to ask me to a dance."
"Really? Who was the other one?"
"Buffy." I must look skeptical. "It's true. When I first came to Sunnydale." Sometimes I forget they weren't always enemies. In fact, Faith once admitted she had a little crush on Buffy for a while. And now that I think about it, Buffy tried to warn me about how Faith dances.
Now I know why. Oh my God. She's gonna get in trouble with the chaperones! I don't think you're allowed to dance like that! As if she wasn't attracting enough attention already. "Faith!" I hiss, trying not to look directly at her hips thrusting to the beat. "Turn the sexy moves down a little!"
"What do you mean? Just dancing, Dawnie!" Oh my God. Several chaperones are already frowning and moving this way. They'll bust kids just for dancing too close! Faith's lucky they even let her in the gym dressed like that, and now she's really asking for it. Time for emergency action.
"Oh, Faith! I want you to meet my favorite teacher!" I tug her off the dance floor in a hurry.
I find Mr. Ayers and introduce him. "They're getting rid of Mr. Ayers at the end of the year, I can't believe it!" One thing has changed since Boston: Faith manages to show a little respect to a teacher. She shakes his hand.
"A lot of us are going," he says, with a sigh. "Budgets are tight now with the old school destroyed. It will be hard to leave Sunnydale. Everyone I know is here. But I'm sure I'll get a job someplace." He forces a cheery smile. I guess this is the last big school event before he moves away.
I introduce Faith to some other teachers. About half of them won't be coming back after this year. I wish Buffy could have gone to just one high school without blowing it up!
And there's one person who I've already told about Faith. Even the prison part that my friends don't know. "Faith, this is Mrs. Lister, she's the guidance counselor. She gave me the GED stuff for you."
Mrs. Lister is the only one who doesn't seem shocked by Faith's outfit. She shakes her hand. "I've heard all about you, Faith, I think it's really great how you're getting your life going again. That diploma will be a big help to you. Studying hard?"
"Yeah, well, Dawnie's a slave driver!"
"Good for her. And good luck on the exam!"
"Thanks."
I take Faith aside and get her to promise to sit out the fast songs if she can't think of any other way to dance. Kirstie corners us again. "You dance like a dumb shit," she says to Faith. "You look even stupider than Dawn!" I bite my tongue. If I start in on Kirstie than Faith might do the same! I pull her away through the crowd. "Seriously, Faith, just ignore her."
The DJ starts playing some slower songs, and Faith and I dance together, holding each other close. Not too close, I hope.
"I better dance with some other people if you're not my date," I say apologetically. I don't want to hurt her feelings.
"Go for it. I can entertain myself for a while!"
I dance with Carlos and then with Kit, and I notice a few senior boys–Faith's own age–asking her to dance. She accepts once or twice, and one of them must have asked if she's single. "Sorry guy, I'm taken!" I hear her say. Then I see Kirstie stalking her with an evil gleam in her eye and my blood just boils. I lose sight of both of them when Kit and I go to load up on snacks, but I don't hear a fight happening. I guess that's a good sign.
Faith finds me again after a while and we have another dance together. "Having fun?" I ask.
"I am now!"
"Sorry about that. It's not you. I just don't think I can face coming out right now." For all kinds of reasons, starting with Kirstie. Although I haven't seen her around lately. Maybe she got bored with taunting us. No wonder we've started having fun.
"I know. It's cool." She leans in close and whispers in my ear. "I love you!"
"You too! So much!"
The song ends, and there's a screech as someone takes the microphone. Principal Stevens.
"I'd like everyone's attention for a moment," she says. "I've got some very important news to announce."
This is weird for the principal to make an announcement at a dance. I wonder what's up that can't wait for Monday?
"I'll start with the biggest news. The old Sunnydale High building will be re-opening next year. Rebuilding starts in two weeks, from the ground up. It's going to be a very busy summer, but we'll finally have space for everyone. I'm sure the teachers will have questions about this, and I don't have all the answers yet, but the board and I will keep you posted. I'd like to apologize that this couldn't have been announced sooner. The school board has had to make some decisions on short notice, and it was only just finalized today. In fact, there will be a new principal next year. I'll be taking over as superintendent."
The old school? I can't believe it! That place is a total wreck! Buffied into the ground! The crowd's buzz drowns her out but she waves for silence again.
"Along with the new school will be some new programs that I'm really excited about. The most important one is computers. Not every student can afford a computer at home, so we'll be issuing laptops to all students starting in the fall."
I gasp. It was so cool having my own computer at Faith's... and now I'll have one at home! No more borrowing from Willow or staying after school! The crowd really gets loud this time!
She shouts over the noise. "One more... please let me finish! One more change... we'll be keeping all current faculty, and adding some new positions as well. If you've been let go for budgetary reasons, I am very happy to tell you: your job is still here. And it will be for the foreseeable future."
Most of the students don't care so much about that. But the chaperones are clapping. Some hugs get exchanged. I catch Mr. Ayers eye across the room... this is awesome! I jump into the air with a little squeal. I thought next year was going to suck!
The principal continues. "All of this became possible very recently, and it's almost as much of a surprise to me as it is to all of you. The Sunnydale School District has received a very large donation, half for faculty salaries and half for buildings and equipment. I know we'd all like to thank the donor, but the gift was anonymous."
The babble of the crowd rises as the music starts again. I turn to Faith very slowly. She won't meet my gaze. I step very close, put one hand on the small of her back and one behind her neck. Then I lean in and cover her mouth with mine, kissing her like she's never been kissed before. She leans back in my arms, surprised, her tongue working weakly on mine.
After a long time I let her breathe. "Wh... what was that for?" she gasps. She's not so tough and in control any more!
"That was 'cause I love you." I'm vaguely aware that people can see and hear us, but I don't care.
"Look Dawnie, I know what you're thinking, but..."
"But nothing. I'm not stupid." I lower my voice to a whisper. "It's the mayor's fault the school got blown up. You gave his fortune to make up for it."
"I'm never telling anyone what happened to that money. Not even you, Dawnie. But even if I did give it to the school, I don't deserve any credit for it."
"Why not?" I lean in harder, chest pressed to hers, talking between little kisses.
"Because," she says, kissing me back in spite of herself, "helping the mayor is the worst thing I ever did. I should be punished for it, not rewarded. I shouldn't be a hero for doing evil. Think how that would make Buffy feel! It's just not right. And if I ever earn people's resepect for real, I'll never know it if they already give me credit for this. I'll never believe I deserve respect unless I earn it on my own. So don't try to get me to say I gave the money. Maybe I did. Maybe I didn't. It doesn't matter. It wasn't my money anyway."
"But it was your money! And you gave it up! You gave up your whole future! You should get credit for that!" More kisses. She's half-stunned by my attention, backing away slowly, but I just press closer and closer, and pretty soon she's kissing me back with the same passion I'm giving her.
"I knew... it would be hard... for you to understand, Dawnie.... But promise me... you won't tell your little theory... to anyone else."
"Like Buffy... and Willow? ...They're not stupid either! ...Everyone will figure it out."
"Let them. I wouldn't lie to you... but I would lie to them. I'll deny that the money came from me. And besides, maybe it didn't."
"You're impossible!" She's backed up against a pillar now, so I don't need the hand behind her head to keep kissing. Deeper and deeper. My hand finds her bare stomach, caressing with the backs of my fingers. Her eyes close. She's all mine. The room has gone silent. Did the song end or did they stop it? Doesn't matter. Nothing exists but my Faith.
"I think..." she objects weakly, "people might figure out... that I'm your girlfriend."
"Good. I want the whole world to know! I love you." I silence her, pressing my tongue back into her sweet mouth.
I barely even notice my name being called.
"Ms. Summers!" The principal hurries over, staring at us in astonishment. Oops... I guess this counts as a public display of affection! "Dawn Summers! Stop that at once!"
The whole room is watching us. I untangle myself from Faith. That's when I notice Kirstie tagging along behind the principal, shaking with fury.
The principal turns to the Queen of the Beotches and points to Faith. "This is the girl who assaulted you?"
"Yes!"
Faith sighs. "She's fine! I didn't hurt her one bit."
The principal looks Faith in the eye. "Do you know how Kirstie got stranded on the roof of the cafeteria?"
Faith shrugs, looking defiant. Boston all over again.
"Get out," says the principal coldly. "Both of you. Dawn, I don't know what's the matter with you! Don't bother coming to school on Monday. You may consider yourself expelled until we can meet with your sister and discuss the problems you've been causing. And you," she says angrily, pointing a finger at Faith, "are never to set foot on school grounds again!"
Buffy opens the door, her eyes red from crying.
"Hey, B... is everything OK? Is Dawn home?"
She says something low under her breath.
"What?"
"You bitch!"
She knows about everything, then. Including my run-in with that Kirstie chick and Dawn's expulsion. "I'm so sorry, Buffy, I didn't mean.... I... They'll let Dawn go back to school I'm sure! You just gotta talk to them... I really never thought..."
I find myself backing away, as she stalks after me. "I hope you're happy now," she says in a low voice, full of so much rage it's starting to scare me.
"Buffy, I'm sorry... things'll work out! Just... let me talk to Dawn. I need to tell her I'm sorry."
Buffy's lips curl into a snarl of hate. "She's gone."
"What? I don't... where is she?"
"She's gone!"
Her sudden scream catches me off guard. I block her first punch instinctively, but the second one doubles me over, grunting in pain.
Not too much pain to defend myself, though!
~ Continue to Episode 13 – Gone ~
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If you enjoyed this story, try CV-1. Buffy agrees to a meeting with someone from her past. It's not what she expected.
I turn around. The woman's pissed. And wearing a uniform. What now? They think I can hide a weapon in this skirt? Maybe a sewing needle! "CV's this way."
CV? "But I..." I gesture helplessly toward the phones, getting more confused and nervous by the minute.
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