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I jump into the air and tumble over Buffy's head when she strikes the third time. As soon as I land I shove backwards–not even turning around–and knock her to the ground.
"Buffy!" I grunt, ducking away quickly. "Where is Dawn!"
She comes at me again and I keep backing away but now she's got me up against the house. "Damn you, Buffy! Where is Dawn?"
"They took her!" She hits me in the face, but I get her back even harder.
I gotta stop this. "Buffy, wait!" I drop my hands and let her hit me again. And one more time. She stops just before I snap and really lay into her.
She collapses to the her knees, crying and tearing the grass out with her fists. I settle to the ground too, not knowing whether to comfort her or scream at her. "Who took her?"
Tara comes outside, eyes full of tears, and puts her hands on Buffy's shoulders. "Come inside, sweetie. Fighting in the front yard won't bring Dawnie back." She leads Buffy inside and calls back to me. "Come on in, Faith."
We sit around the dining room table. Willow's there, holding a letter. She's been crying too. She pushes the paper over to me. Buffy and me are shaking with adrenaline, avoiding even looking at each other.
Dawnie's in a foster home. Her social worker had been considering that for some time. Buffy had been warned but nobody told Dawn. And last night with me was the last straw. The evidence that Buffy is an unfit guardian–if not a master criminal!–looks pretty bad. They must have talked to a lot of people over the past year. Including the police. I read the list with a sinking feeling.
Marked decline in school performance. Absences and tardiness.
Unexplained violent incidents in and around Summers home. Unexplained damage inside suggesting violence.
Many dangerous weapons readily accessible in Summers home.
Buffy reportedly connected with numerous incidents involving violence, property damage, deaths, and unexplained disappearances, dating back to her family's first arrival in Sunnydale.
Dawn came to school badly cut, shortly before her mother died, and verbally abused teachers. Claims that she cut herself, but suspicion that Buffy may have abused Dawn even while their mother was alive.
Presence of "Spike," apparent boyfriend but denied by Buffy. Suspicions that he may have a criminal background. Buffy will not provide contact information for him or discuss his background. Aversion to light suggesting drug addiction. Spike probably attempted to rape Buffy recently. Dawn sometimes left in Spike's care, even overnight.
Insufficient income. Poor money management. Buffy not seeking a better job.
Buffy frequently gone at night, refuses to provide adequate explanation. Prostitution suspected, possibly involving Spike, possibly to support drug habit. Suspicion of sexual relations with older men while she was a minor: Rupert Giles (alien, U.K. citizen) and a murder suspect known only as Angel. Rupert Giles, librarian at Buffy's school, frequently present at his student's home at inappropriate hours.
Buffy committed arson at her school in LA. Eyewitness reports that Buffy may have also been involved in the arson of the original Sunnydale High School.
Buffy has a history of mental illness. Hospitalized in a psychiatric facility for three weeks in LA.
Buffy has a history of behavior problems in school. Expelled for several months. Also unable to complete college. Promiscuous sexuality in college, including relations with a teaching assistant while taking a course under him, again suggesting prostitution.
Emotional stability of Buffy called into question after multiple interviews. Unexplained personality shift during the summer of 2001. During that time Buffy seemed confused, unable to answer simple questions, inappropriately cheerful considering her mother's recent death, and overly dependent on her friend Willow Rosenberg. Drug abuse suspected.
Presence of "Anya," also apparently drug-impaired. Will not provide background info. Anya may be an alias. Real first name Aud?
Signs that Willow and Tara MacLay have secretly taken responsibility for Dawn at times and lied to cover up Buffy's problems. Summer 2001 in particular. Buffy refused to submit to urinalysis during that time.
Police records indicate that Buffy was a suspect in the unsolved murder of Kendra, a girl of unkown origin. Buffy fled Sunnydale afterwards and lived under an assumed name in LA. More unexplained disappearances there.
Apparent lack of emotionally stable friends or role models. All frequent "The Magic Box," a novelty store with an emphasis on death-related items, and which seems to be a cover for other activities, probably illegal.
Lack of other relatives to support Buffy and Dawn. Buffy cannot or will not provide contact information for father, Hank Summers.
Numerous incidents of petty theft and shoplifting.
Unhealthy diet, mainly fast food from Buffy's workplace (Doublemeat Palace). Dawn prepares many meals for herself.
Ran away from home for prolonged period, traveled to Boston and other locations unaccompanied.
Bus accident when out unsupervised. Dawn injured and nearly killed.
Shooting at the Summers home resulting in injury of one person and several near-misses. Suspect apprehended but motive for attack unclear. Testimony suggests that Buffy may have been present at a failed armored car robbery.
Presence of obvious drug addict, Willow Rosenberg, in the household. Willow was the driver in an apparent drug-related car crash that broke Dawn's arm. Willow and Buffy both refuse to identify the owner of the car. Suspect it may have been stolen. Signs that Willow may worship Satan and may have performed animal sacrifices.
Involvement in recent violence at an area church. Buffy will not provide details beyond the fact that a friend's wedding was called off.
Signs of beating and restraints noted recently by teachers. Buffy and Dawn unconvincing in claim that injuries resulted from play activities. Buffy or Spike probably beat Dawn.
Association with "Faith," convicted violent felon and dropout, also engaged in suspicious activity at night. Has apparently received and then lost large sums of money recently without explanation. Buffy will not provide contact information for her, or even a last name.
Suspicion that Faith and Buffy have been involved in violent crimes prior to Faith's arrest. Descriptions match suspects in an unsolved sporting goods robbery and subsequent assaults on police officers.
Homosexual relationship in the household (Willow R. and Tara MacLay) resulting in imitative behavior in public, including disruptive displays of affection with Faith at school.
Violent incident against classmate Kirstie, in which Faith took revenge on Dawn's behalf. Incident fell within school's anti-gang policies. School property vandalized.
Expulsion from school for unknown duration.
"Jesus, Buffy...!" Half of those are totally unfair... and half of them are more or less true. Buffy did beat Dawn, tie her up, and throw her in the basement. In fact, she intended to kill Dawn before she came to her senses. And all her friends. Demon poison. Being the Slayer's sister is dangerous. But at the same time, Buffy can protect her better than any foster home. I don't even like to think of Dawn in some other house, sleeping night after night without a Slayer down the hall! "Buffy, I'll get her back! I–"
"How?" Buffy glares at me, almost rising to strike me. "How are you going to take back what you added to that list?"
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen, Buffy! I don't get the 'anti-gang' thing."
Willow explains. "I don't know if you attacked Kirstie for your sake or Dawn's, but they know Dawn has had problems with Kirstie. They think she told you to do it. One student telling a third party to commit an act of revenge against another is on the school's list of gang-related activities. Automatic expulsion."
"But they have to let her back! They know Dawnie's not a problem... not like that! Are they gonna let her go back?" Nobody answers. I guess there's probably gonna be some meeting on Monday to answer that question.
I feel like shit. More of that list is Buffy's fault than mine. But I don't really blame Buffy for any of it. What I did was just plain stupid. I got mad and I wanted to defend my girl.
"What did you do to Kirstie?" asks Willow.
I sigh. "Kirstie came after me saying all this stuff about Dawn. Totally making up stuff. Laying into me, too. I told her to get the hell away from me and she just kept right on. So I let her follow me out into the hall, and then I clamped my hand over her mouth and hauled her outside. I swear I never hit her! I just carried her up on top of the garage, broke the ladder off the building, and then jumped down and left her there gaping like the idiot she is."
Tara's trying not to laugh. I guess they all know enough about Kirstie not to feel much sympathy.
"Buffy," I say, "I'll tell the principal it was all me. I'll add the ladder to my list of debts. I'll even apologize to that little bitch, whatever they want me to do..."
Buffy glares at me. "Did you make out with Dawn in public?"
"I... she sort of kissed me... it caught me off guard..."
Buffy clenches her jaw. "To quote the principal... 'groped one another's buttock regions'..."
Did we do that? I guess maybe we did... "I'm sorry B, I don't really remember that... I guess there may have been something like that... we just weren't thinking..."
After so much tension, Tara has lost it. Her face is in her hands, shoulders shaking silently. Laughing, I think! Red's trying not to join her.
Buffy angrily scribbles on a scrap of paper and pushes it over to me. Then she slides a quarter across the table. "That's Principal Stevens' home number. You're going to put that quarter in the nearest payphone and tell her everything was your fault! Now get out of my house."
The public display of affection wasn't totally my fault... but if it helps bring Dawnie home then I'll say it. "OK. I'll call from here if you want..."
"Not possible." She points to the front door. "'Cause you're gonna walk out that door right now. And never come back."
I open my mouth to start something, but Willow gives me a look of warning and I think better of it.
I storm out and slam the door. Buffy doesn't know I've left with two phone numbers. I'll call the principal, sure. And then I'll call the number I memorized from the top of that damned letter!
I try one last time. "I guess all I'm trying to say is, it looks bad on paper, but Buffy's a great mom. You don't know some of the sacrifices she's made for Dawn. You just can't split them up, not after everything they've been through! Dawn already lost one mom." I know what that's like. My Watcher was like a mom, and she died in my arms. "Dawn needs Buffy!" I don't mention my worry that someday the Key is going to be a target again, and that Buffy's the one qualified to protect her.
"Look... Faith... I've spent most of the day interviewing people who have come forward to support Buffy's guardianship of her sister. Some have been more credible than others. Your history makes your opinion just about worthless in Dawn's file."
I look down at my hands, defeated. "You won't tell anyone I came here, will you?"
"This meeting is completely confidential."
"Seriously, I don't want anybody to know."
"It goes in the file, for our use only. Completely confidential." I start to get up. "But before you go... there's one thing you can do that the others I've talked to today couldn't. If you really want Buffy to get a second chance, there's something very important you can do to help."
"Anything! What can I do?"
"You can stay away from Dawn Summers."
I stop walking at Fifth Street and move my bookbag to the other shoulder. Which way to go?
I could turn left to go to the Fabers. I won't even think of them as my foster parents 'cause I'm not staying with them long. I can't. I hate them so much I just want to scream or break something! I swear they hate me too.
Or I could turn right to go... home. To Buffy and Willow and Tara. Where Faith knows how to find me. And I'm starting to think Faith's right: Buffy does want me. She's pretty upset about me going.
Buffy told me to do what the social worker said, and everything would work out. Her tears didn't make me too confident, but Tara was there when they took me, and she said the same thing. She promised they would do whatever it took to bring me back. I believe her. The best way to get back home is to do what I'm told for a while.
I turn left like I'm supposed to.
Screw it, I'm goin' home! I turn around and head the other way, my heart growing lighter with every disobedient step.
Some guy behind me whistles at me. Jackass. I walk faster and don't look back.
"Hey, good lookin'!"
I look over my shoulder and then start to run. I know that voice.
"Faith! Where are you?"
"Up here."
I almost drop my bag as she takes my hand to help me scramble up next to her on the stone wall. "How did you know I'd be here?"
"I was here yesterday, too. I know you too well. I figured you'd give up and head home before long. Dawnie... are you mad at me?"
I take her face between my hands and close my eyes to kiss her lips, very softy but it lasts. "Mad at you for giving Kirstie what she had coming, or mad at you for being too sexy to keep my hands off of? It's OK, Faith. New school or no new school!"
"You and me are cool?" She looks so vulnerable. I can tell she's been worried about me blaming her for days.
"We're five be five. Things turned out pretty crappy, but it's gonna take a little more than just turning my whole life upside down to make me hold a grudge against you. I was kinda glad I left you with that kiss at the dance to remember me by... but I guess you've been all stewing over if I was mad."
She smiles, relieved. "That was a hell of a kiss, Dawnie... I needed a pregnancy test after that one!"
I think I'm blushing. "I think it was the assault thing that was the problem, not so much the public display of affection."
"I saw the list. It was a lot of things. Dawnie, I hate to tell you this, but I think we better stay away from each other for a while."
I nod sadly. My social worker told me the same thing. Without the 'for a while' part.
"Dawn, I think they might let you go back to Buffy soon. But they told me to stay away from you. And I really want you to be home where you belong. Besides, if you're in some foster home, they can keep you away from me if they really want to. They can move you anyplace. At least with Buffy I have a chance of working things out to be with you. Eventually."
She's right, but I hate it. "Get a phone so I can call you!"
"It's a deal. And it won't be forever. Just for a while... just until Buffy doesn't have your social worker on red alert anymore."
"OK." I squeeze her tight. "But I'm gonna miss you so bad!"
"We'll talk on the phone, I promise. And I've been watching you. Checking on you on the way to school and stuff. I worry so much about you without Buffy."
"You've been... stalking me? I never saw you!"
"You weren't supposed to. Do you mind?"
Do I mind Faith watching over me? "No. I kinda like it."
"Good. Now I think you better turn around and go back to the new place. With any luck you'll be home with Buffy soon."
With a resigned sigh, I agree. "I hope so. I can stand a few more days, maybe. But it's group Bible study every night, Faith! And church on Sundays and Tuesdays. It's nothing but 'gays burn in hell' at the Faber house! I have to answer Bible questions before I can do my real homework! I'm sorry, but my sister has been to Heaven, her ex has been to Hell, and I've met a god face to face... I do not need Bible study! And you know what I found out? It turns out that the Lord really wants me to take an interest in penises. In fact, he'll let demons torture me forever if I insist on loving you! Worse pain than being burned alive. Of course, the church two streets over has gay weddings all the time... just like the one Dad used to take us to in LA... but I guess God's gonna burn them all too?" I let out a frustrated snort.
"Poor Dawnie! That seriously sucks. I don't even believe they put you with those people! You have to go to church on Tuesday night?!"
"For two hours. And they won't even tape my shows. That's the TV lineup from Satan himself."
"Well... just play nice and hang in there for now, and before you know it you'll be back home in the land of gay Wiccans!"
"I know. You're right. I just have to be back for my birthday." I lean peacefully against my girlfriend, enjoying our last contact for a while. "Look what I have to wear." I pull a huge crucifix out of my shirt. "Guaranteed to gouge the boobs of the sinner. I figured you can't have too many crosses in this town, though."
"Good thinking." She takes the cross and uses my pocket knife to carve off some sharp corners in back. "There you go... 100% boob-safe."
"You're a life-saver! But... how come crosses work on vampires, if they've been around since like way B.C.?" I lie down on the wall with my head in her lap.
"All part of the vampire curse, Dawnie. If enough people believe in the symbol then they can't take it. I had to patrol a Jewish neighborhood back in Boston. Crosses were about useless there. Same with holy water. And in case you ever need to know... a Star of David has six points, not five. I learned that the hard way!"
"How are your ribs?"
"Five by five. Giles has me training pretty hard and they don't hurt at all."
"Good. My sister said you and her had another fight. I'm allowed to call her once a day, if I don't mind the Fabers listening to my end."
"Yeah, she got in a few good punches. I probably had it coming. That was really stupid what I did to Kirstie. But it doesn't look like I'll be coming by your house any time soon. Buffy told me never to come back, and I think your social worker agrees."
"What are we going to do?"
"We're going to get you home to Buffy, and then I'm going to make a fresh start proving myself to her and your social worker. Somehow. But first things first."
After a few really awful days, just a few minutes back with my Faith lifts my spirits so much. "Have you been studying?"
"Well, I knew you'd be on my case if I didn't! Not as much as I should, though. Work wears me out, and I've been patrolling late every night. Making up for lost years of slaying."
I shake my finger at her. "I'm gonna quiz you over the phone so you better study!"
"Fine!" She pretends to be pissed. "Tell me... how have things been at school?"
"Things are OK. I was only expelled for two days. The principal let me come back to school yesterday. Thanks for calling her."
"Sure. Dawnie... you know I didn't hurt Kirstie, don't you?"
"I know, Faith. You wouldn't do that! But after she was done being mad, she got scared. And I like her a lot better that way! She stays away from me and won't tell anyone about what happened. She never even told her parents I don't think. I'm not sorry you did it. I'm just sorry you got busted!"
"Well I'm sorry about both. How are the other kids treating you now that you're out of the closet? That must be rough."
"Actually, Faith," I smirk, "I think you and me are living legends at Sunnydale High."
"Really?"
"I have to tell you... as high school rebellion goes, making out with another girl at a dance ranks pretty high! Nobody can believe I had the guts to do it. Truth is I wasn't thinking... but everyone's pretty impressed! And stranding Kirstie on the roof.... well, that's even better. A lot of people are cheering that one! The principal finally believes I wasn't involved, but the other kids think I was in on that. I've been tempted to brag about you being a convict, but I figured I'd better not dig us in any deeper! Everyone's talking about you and me... guess this is my five minutes of fame. Some people are acting like assholes, but mostly I get nothing but high fives all day... and girls wanting to know what it's like to kiss another girl."
"What do you tell 'em?"
"I tell 'em, go get your own and find out!"
"If they are, they're gonna be in trouble. Buffy's already pissed about the homophobe thing. She's meeting with your social worker tomorrow to complain."
"So that means she's not all mad at Faith anymore?" I hold up crossed fingers.
"Sorry, I'm afraid she's not showing any signs of tolerating Faith. She wants you to be gay in peace... but not with Faith. She blames Faith for you being gone. I think it's easier than blaming herself."
"It's not really anybody's fault. Stuff happens."
"Well, Dawn, I blame Kirstie! Queen of the Beotches!" She smiles to hear herself use my term. "Do the Fabers know about that whole thing?"
"They know my whole file, Tara, even about you and Willow. They think you two made me gay! They keep saying bad stuff about you guys. They try to get me to say you molested me. They always call you Satan's witches."
"What do you say?"
"I tell them you are witches. Just to set 'em off."
Tara shakes her head. "I don't think you need to make any extra trouble, Dawnie."
"I know. But I can't stand them. I'm like their little project to save from Hell! And they snoop through my stuff. They almost found a letter to Faith that would have made them flip. I told her not to bother writing back 'cause I just know they'll steal the letter. And the worst thing is, you guys are finally back together, and now I can't be here with you!"
Tara looks serious all of a sudden. She takes both my hands. "Dawnie, the other morning... when you found me and Willow together... you acted like you were upset with us. Can I ask what that was about?"
I don't want to say. I'm sure she knows, anyway.
"Dawn, do you have a problem with Willow and I making love? You used to think it was romantic."
"Well now I know it's not."
Tara looks at me long and hard. "Did Faith tell you that?"
"Yeah. And Buffy. And Willow."
"Willow just doesn't want you to get hurt... she doesn't think sex is always bad."
"Faith says its OK to want sex. It's kinda fun. But if you go through with it you end up hating yourself. And Buffy said pretty much the same thing. And I bet that's part of why you and Willow broke up."
"Oh, Dawnie, no. That was about the magic, and that's all it was. When Willow and I make love, it's the happiest thing ever, and afterwards we don't hate ourselves, we feel wonderful and loved." She starts turning red–this is hard for her to talk about–but she continues. "That's how sex can be, if the time is right and the person is right. I would hate to think of you going through life not even knowing that could be a part of love. Maybe Buffy and Faith have had some really bad things happen with sex. But that's not how it has to be."
"I tried to mess around with Faith once. She kinda freaked."
"Well it probably wasn't the right time, for either of you. It might not be for a long time. But Dawn, I have to tell you something."
"What?"
"I think you and Faith are going to stick together for a long, long time. You really love each other. And that means someday you're going to have to help her. Buffy has to work through her problems the best she can. But someday someone is going to have to show Faith that sex can be loving and beautiful. And that someone will probably be you."
"Are you telling me to go have sex with Faith?!" I'm floored. Tara's the goodest of the good! I can hardly even believe she has sex!
Tara cringes at my raised voice and glances nervously at the open door. Oops. I hope Buffy didn't hear what I said! "Definitely not, Dawn! But just remember that it's a way you can show your love, and it's not a bad thing. Someday you will understand that, and you'll help her understand it too."
Creak on the stairs. Oh no! I think Buffy heard us! We freeze, wide-eyed.
"Dinner time!" calls Willow. Tara and I breathe again. Then we start cracking up.
"Did I make any sense?" asks Tara, as we get up off the bed.
Tara's the only person who could make me doubt what Faith told me. I'll just have to think about all this. "I guess so. But I don't really know who to believe."
My eyes are burning after eight hours of poking numbers into that stupid computer. I need a new job, and fast. Only question is whether I quit before they fire me. I just can't pay attention to that kind of work. It's worse than my homework. Which I'm blowing off tonight to start patrolling early. I'm in the mood for some serious staking!
I open my door to find Willow with her fist raised, about to knock.
"Oh, hey Red. Hey Tara. Just heading out to make some trouble, what brings you out this way?"
"Special delivery." Willow holds up a colorful pile of folded sheets. "From Dawn."
For my walls! How sweet. But when I start to unfold one... "Cartoon characters? Cute fluffy animals?!" Now I know why Dawn doesn't use these anymore. She's about ten years too old!
Willow looks around at my gray walls, stained with god-knows-what. "I think anything's an improvement. No offense." She puts on an exaggerated thoughtful expression. "So, I hear they're building a new school..."
I keep my expression blank.
Tara puts her hand on my arm with a small smile. "Kinda sad, a wealthy philanthropist living like this."
"What are you talking about?"
Willow smiles. "Buffy doesn't believe us, but we kinda figured out what you did."
"What?"
"Come on. We know how you spent the Mayor's fortune."
"Honestly, guys, I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't give the money to any school!"
"You wouldn't lie to us, would you?" says Willow, teasing.
Yeah I'd lie to them. About this, anyway. I want nothing out of the Mayor's gift. "No. It's the truth."
Willow shakes her head. "OK, then. Have it your way. Somebody sure did a great thing for the kids." She stacks the folded sheets on my largest crate.
I change the subject. "Well thanks for bringing these, guys." I look at the fabric doubtfully. "I might put them up later. I don't really have anything to hold 'em up with."
Tara produces a box of tacks. "Now, now, you can't disappoint Dawnie. Hey, Willow, why don't you do the shopping without me and I'll stay and help put these up... that way I can tell Dawn how it looks."
"Are you sure, baby? Your arm..." Willow gestures towards Tara's bandaged arm, where that asshole Warren shot her.
"I think I can lift sheets!"
"OK... see you back home, then! Take care of yourself, Faith. And don't worry about Dawnie too much. Things'll work out so you can see her again." A moment after she leaves, her head reappears in the doorway. "Almost forgot. One more thing... Dawn told me to remind you, you're supposed to get a phone so she can call you! And... may I suggest that a bed might be a nice addition too?" She looks at the three towels I've been sleeping on. Those and my crates are my only furniture.
"Tell Dawn I'm due a paycheck soon, and then she can call me any time."
Tara and I unfold some sheets and try them in various places. They look ridiculous... but it's a step up from depressing! We start tacking them in place.
My one-room cave starts to look a little like a kindergarten. There's something about turtles in top hats that just doesn't say "Slayer." But all the color is kinda cheery, I guess. "Thanks for staying to help."
"Actually, I had... some stuff to talk about. Kinda... private stuff." She's acting even more shy than usual. "Um, I'll get right to the point. I think you've really been good for Dawnie in some ways. But you have to lay off telling her that... that sex is bad. You're gonna make her totally messed up!"
Now that I was not expecting. "Um... Not that it's any of your business, but I never tell her not to think about sex. I just won't do it."
"Have you ever... had sex... made love... with someone who loves you? Like Dawn loves you?"
"No, and I would never do that. You and Red can sink to whatever depths you think you can deal with, but I am not letting my Dawnie wake up in the morning feeling how I've felt after sex!"
She's taken aback by my reaction. But I resume our task, helping her with another sheet, to show that I'm not mad.
"I'm... so sorry, Faith. For what you've been through. But don't punish Dawn for it. I've woken up in the morning feeling... happier and more peaceful than you can imagine, because Willow and I have... have shared ourselves. I know that sex isn't bad. And I hope you get that too someday. I think maybe you and Dawn deserve that."
She means well I'm sure, but I don't know what she's talking about! "Are you telling me to have sex with Dawn?!"
She pushes a tack in and stops. "Before she's ready? No! And... if you do, I'll work some magic on you that would scare Willow." She gets in my face. Tara... gets in my face! With what I think is supposed to be tough look, but it mostly looks like she's squinting. "You're gonna wake up with no mouth and no hands and... and... no... other stuff... and then we'll see how well you can have sex!"
I stop and stare at her. "Your end's too high." She reaches up and moves the tack down. "Yeah, that looks right."
We unfold the last sheet. "Did I do it good?" she asks, hopefully. "The threatening and the menacing?"
I hide a smile and take an end of the sheet. "You were chilling."
~ Continue to Episode 14 – Behind My Back ~
If you enjoyed this story, try CV-1. Buffy agrees to a meeting with someone from her past. It's not what she expected.
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