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Jonny T's Ode to Snopes

I posted this a while ago at the SLC ... a few people (well, two) suggested putting it up at the annex. It is sung to the tune of "American Pie" (Don McLean's version) -- Jonny T.

A long long time ago, I can still remember

How those hoaxes used to make me mad

And I knew if I found some proof,

I wouldn't have to hit the roof,

Even if it made some other people sad.

And Altavista made me happy,

The other sites were really crappy.

ULs in my Inbox,

Stories about Pop Rocks.

An then one day I saw the light,

so I did a search, and did it right,

I had to laugh with all my might,

The day, I found this site...So

 

Bye, bye, Jonny "Ignorant Guy",

Got an e-mail,

'bout a she-male,

Who only had one eye.

I checked it out, and then I just hit reply,

Writin "This story is one big fat lie...this story is one big fat lie"...

 

Did you hear about the theives,

And moral outrage that glurge leaves,

If the hoaxer tells you so.

Aahhh...do you believe in outright lies ?

Can debunking make them realise,

That most the Internet is made up of lies.

Well I know you want to think it's true,

Cos the lovely ending's nice to you,

The glurge, it seems so nice,

And forwarding is a strong vice.

I was the only rational one there,

Hearing about burlap, like I'm meant to care,

But I knew that story was there,

So I, went to, this site...

Oh, I was sayin...

 

Bye, bye, Jonny "Ignorant Guy",

Got an e-mail,

'bout a she-male,

Who only had one eye.

I checked it out, and then I just hit reply,

Writin "This story is one big fat lie...this story is one big fat lie"...

 

I was alone too long, of course,

Debunking without a single source,

That's not how I want it to be.

When the story arrived, about the starving kid,

Of sappy glurges, I want rid,

Lost is the proper e-mail, amid.

Oh, and while I was reading the mail,

I finally had to try to assail.

The reply button was pressed,

And...oh, you know the rest.

And while I wrote an mad mad flame,

A dozen arrived, all the same.

So I wrote 'bout how it was lame.

I sent, them to, this site.

I was writin...

 

Bye, bye, Jonny "Ignorant Guy",

Got an e-mail,

'bout a she-male,

Who only had one eye.

I checked it out, and then I just hit reply,

Writin "This story is one big fat lie...this story is one big fat lie"...

 

Hoaxes, roaches, theivery of broaches,

Unfair Nazi college coaches,

Patience thin and fallin fast...

E-mails from friends on grass,

So gullible, that they had to pass,

The story on, but pretty soon, it was last.

The Internet's a land of lies,

I hope sanity will soon arise,

I tried to make them see,

Oh, but they wouldn't believe me.

Cause they'd rather listen to some stranger,

The stories made me just say 'duh,

It isn't true, yeah, I'll show ya',

Just go, to this, fine site...

And I told them,

 

Bye, bye, Jonny "Ignorant Guy",

Got an e-mail,

'bout a she-male,

Who only had one eye.

I checked it out, and then I just hit reply,

Writin "This story is one big fat lie...this story is one big fat lie"...

 

Oh, all that info in one place,

To stop young ladies using mace,

'cos something made them paranoid.

So, come on, get going to this site now.

Don't start another stupid row,

'cos stupidity's the hoaxer's only friend...

Oh, and as I get to one more stage,

Of munchkin-started flaming rage.

No number of real facts,

Could stop them thinking 'axe'.

And, even though I know that I am right,

Just one day, I'd like a night

Free from an unreal child's plight,

So I, go to, this site...

I am thinking...

 

Bye, bye, Jonny "Ignorant Guy",

Got an e-mail,

'bout a she-male,

Who only had one eye.

I checked it out, and then I just hit reply,

Writin "This story is one big fat lie...this story is one big fat lie"...

 

I got some more e-mail abuse,

A story from "Weekly World News".

But I just laughed that rage away.

I went online, and got to snopes,

Where I lay all my factual hopes,

But I don't see, how they're fooled, anyway...

Seeing all those stupid tales,

'bout bull-blood infected kiddy ales.

And not a word of backup,

About that poor girl's hack-up.

And the website that I go to most,

It's got it all, from food to ghost,

I use it daily, not to boast,

Oh yes, I love, this site.

It's got me thinkin...

 

Bye, bye, Jonny "Ignorant Guy",

Got an e-mail,

'bout a she-male,

Who only had one eye.

I checked it out, and then I just hit reply,

Writin "This story is one big fat lie...this story is one big fat lie"...

 

I am thinkin...

Bye, bye, Jonny "Ignorant Guy",

Got an e-mail,

'bout a she-male,

Who only had one eye.

I checked it out, and then I just hit reply,

Writin "This story is one big fat lie."


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