Southerners just love to add colorful phrases to conversation that leave
no doubt that you are truly in the South.
One of the most popular is "bless her (or his) heart". It allows
a Southerner to speak plainly about someone without sounding critical or spiteful. A good example would be, "She's uglier
than homemade soap, bless her heart."
Here are a few southern phrases that are sure to make you chuckle.
 | "Well, knock me down and steal muh teeth!" |
| "Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit." |
| "I'll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outta style." |
| "This'll jar your preserves." |
| "Cute as a sack full of puppies." |
| "If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it." |
| "Gooder than grits." |
| "It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs." |
| "It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch." |
| "Wintery roads are said to be "slicker than otter snot." |
| A bothersome person is "like a booger that you can't thump
off." |
| When something is bad then you say, "that ain't no count." |
| If something is hard to do, it's "like trying to herd cats." |
| A hectic schedule keeps you "busier than a cat covering doo-doo on
a marble floor." |
| "Your momma's so fat, when she got on the scales to be weighed, it
said 'to be continued'." |
| "He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way
down." |
| "Uglier than a lard bucket full of armpits." |
| "The wheel's still turning, but the hamster's dead." |
| "I'm just about as welcome at my in-laws as a hair in a
biscuit."
 "Did
ya hear that Elmer's house burned down? Yep. Pert' near
took out the whole trailer park. The library was a total loss too.
Both books -- poof! -- up in flames and he hadn't even finished
coloring one of them!" |
  
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