THE OLD PHILOSOPHER SEZ,

I've actuality seen these on the bumpers of cars.

Seen in D.C.
HONK IF YOU HAD SEX WITH THE PRESIDENT.

No particular place.
LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION, I CAN FIND 
IT MYSELF

SNATCH A KISS, OR VICE VERSA.

A CAT ALMOST ALWAYS BLINKS WHEN HIT
 IN THE HEAD WITH A HAMMER.

HORN BROKEN, WATCH FOR FINGER.

SEX ON TELEVISION CAN'T HURT YOU,
 UNLESS YOU FALL OFF.

WHO LIT THE FUSE ON YOUR TAMPON?

TO ALL YOU VIRGINS, THANKS FOR NOTHING.

IMPOTENCE: NATURE'S WAY OF SAYING 
"NO HARD FEELINGS"

IF YOU'RE NOT A HEMORRHOID, GET OFF MY ASS.

IF SEX IS A PAIN IN THE ASS, 
THEN YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG.

DEPRESSION IS MERELY ANGER WITHOUT 
ENTHUSIASM.

REMEMBER, HALF THE PEOPLE YOU KNOW ARE 
BELOW AVERAGE.