THE OLD PHILOSOPHER SEZ,

We all love a good Country/Western song. They tell it
like it is. Sometimes just the title tell it like it is,
such as these hit songs(?).

...DO YOU LOVE AS GOOD AS YOU LOOK?

...GET YOUR TONGUE OUTTA MY MOUTH 'CAUSE I'M 
  KISSING YOU GOODBY

...HER TEETH WERE STAINED, BUT HER HEART
    WAS PURE

...HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY

...I CHANGED HER OIL, SHE CHANGED MY LIFE

...I FLUSHED YOU FROM THE TOILETS OF MY HEART

...I WOULDN'T TAKE HER TO A DAWG FIGHT, CAUSE
   I'M  AFRAID SHE'D WIN

...I'M JUST A BUG ON THE WINDSHIELD OF LIFE

...IF I CAN'T BE NUMBER ONE IN YOUR LIFE, THEN 
   NUMBER TWO ON YOU

...IF YOU LEAVE ME, CAN I COME TOO?

...MY JOHN DEER WS BREAKING YOUR FIELD WHILE 
   YOUR DEAR JOHN WAS BREAKING MY HEART

...VELCRO ARMS, TEFLON HEART

...YOU'RE THE REASON OUR KIDS ARE SO UGLY

...HAS YOUR LAWYER TALKED TO JESUS?

...I BOUGHT THE SHOES THAT JUST WALKED OUT
   ON ME.

...YOUR ALIBI CALLED TODAY

...I FORGOT THAT I DON'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE

...BAD GIRLS DON'T HAVE SUNBURNS

...HELL STAYS OPEN ALL NIGHT

...IT AIN'T LOVE, BUT IT AIN'T BAD

You've seen the 'hit' Country/Western song list,
now here is the 'bad' cowboy song list....

...AM I DOUBLE PARKED BY THE CURBSTONE OF 
   YOUR HEART?

...AT THE GAS STATION OF LOVE, I GOT THE 
   SELF SERVICE PUMP

...GET YOUR BISCUITS IN THE OVEN, AND YOUR 
   BUNS IN THE BED.

...HER ONLY BAD HABIT IS ME

...HOLD ON TO YOUR MEN...CAUSE SHE'S SINGLE 
   AGAIN

...HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY

...I FELL IN A PILE OF YOU AND GOT LOVE ALL 
   OVER ME

...I GAVE HER THE RING, AND SHE GAVE ME 
   THE FINGER

...I MAY BE USED, BUT BABY I AIN'T USED UP

...I STILL MISS YOU BABY...BUT MY AIM IS GETTING 
   BETTER

...IF I AIN'T GOT IT, YOU DON'T NEED IT

...IF LOVE WERE OIL, I'D BE A QUART LOW

...I'LL MARRY YOU TOMORROW, BUT LET'S
  HONEYMOON  TONIGHT

...MOMMY, CAN I STILL CALL HIM DADDY?

...THANKS TO THE CATHOUSE, I'M IN THE 
   DOGHOUSE WITH YOU