THE OLD PHILOSOPHER SEZ,

We all hear how bad the schools are but it doesn't 
really hit us until we see something like this. These '
items' were taken from job applications from various 
'high school' graduates (and maybe a few college 
graduates).

1. I demand a salary commiserate with my 
   extensive experience.

2. I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and 
    spreasheet progroms.

3. Wholly responsible for two failed financial 
    institutions.

4. Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.

5. Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.

6. it's best for employers that I not work with 
    people.

7. Let's meet, so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over 
    my experience.

8. You will want me to be Head Honcho in no 
     time.

9. I was working for my mom until she decided 
    to move.

10. Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. 
      Uninvolved. No commitments.

11. I have an excellent track record, although I am 
      not a horse.

12. Finished eighth in my class of ten.

13. The company made me a scapegoat, just 
       like my three previous employers.

14. Reason for leaving last job: They insisted
      that all employees get to work by 8:45 AM
      every morning. I couldn't work under
      those conditions.

15. Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs
      as 'job-hopping'. I've never quit a job.