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WHAT THE CRITICS ARE SAYING ABOUT

"To boldly go nowhere fast!" - Critic #1

"A show about nothing with special effects!" - Critic #2





CMDR. JERRY SEINFELD
SERIAL NO. NYC978675645321
DEPARTMENT: COMMAND
CURRENT ASSIGNMENT: STARBASE VANDELAY


LT. CMDR. ELAINE BENES a.k.a. 2 out of 3

SERIAL NO. NYC556781233014
DEPARTMENT: SCIENCES
CURRENT ASSIGNMENT: STARBASE VANDELAY


LT. COSMO KRAMER

SERIAL NO. NYC912334216679
DEPARTMENT: SCIENCES
CURRENT ASSIGNMENT: STARBASE VANDELAY


ENSIGN GEORGE COSTANZA

SERIAL NO. NYC000000012353
DEPARTMENT: SHIP SERVICES
CURRENT ASSIGNMENT: STARBASE VANDELAY



EPISODE SYNOPSES

"Shrinkage"
Ensign Costanza starts shrinking after taking a swim in a quarantined planets' ocean.

"The Zupnaziite"
A feared promotion in Starbase Services puts a Zupnaziite native in charge of food prep - a position Ensign Costanza was up for.

"Two Of One, A Sixth Of A Dozen Of The Other"
Cmdr. Seinfeld's new girlfriend is an Orion slave girl with four breasts; 2 out of 3 is convinced the last two are fake.

"The Gnoze"
A parasite in Cmdr. Seinfeld's left nostril grabs his finger when he goes to pick his nose and won't let go; meanwhile, Lt. Kramer decides to start cooking in his quarters.

"Inheritance Spending"
Ensign Costanza's parents pay a visit to the starbase.

"2 Out Of 3 Or 6 To 4"
2 out of 3's new boyfriend goes mad and takes over the starbase after he ponders the disparity between 2's name and the fact that she hangs out with 3 other crewmembers.

"The Commander's New Clothes"
Cmdr. Seinfeld accidentally approves an unusual dress uniform design while shopping for a costume to replicate; meanwhile, Lt. Kramer decides to jog through the entire starbase backwards.

"Up, Up And Obey"
Cmdr. Seinfeld takes leave time to visit his parents on FloridAlpha I; meanwhile, Crewman tries to boobytrap Cmdr. Seinfeld's quarters, but is confronted by the Emergency Holographic Superman.

"Four"
Lt. Kramer talks Ensign Costanza into a golf game on the holodeck; meanwhile, 2 out of 3 loses another boyfriend on a landing party.

All concepts and media on this page 2006 by Brian Matthews
STAR TREK Paramount Pictures
SEINFELD NBC


From an idea by Patman
Particular thanks to Lee Cain and Rob Wingate

"YADA, Yada, yada...!"