An equation to rival that fibonacci guy...maybe even pythagoras
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: The gentle hum of the fridge

Battle of the Douchebags
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Bob Dylan - Idiot Wind
Music. If I may be bold, it is the greatest and possibly the most necesary art for the human race. I don't think I could live without music for long, and I know I can't be the only one. I try to listen to all music because I hate to miss out on something. That being said, I think some country music, particularly toby keith, has to be stopped. At all costs. ALL COSTS. Moving along. As a fan of music, I enjoy going to concerts and seeing the music I love performed live by the artists that create it. I think a live show can be an absolutley amazing experience along the lines of life-changing. I myself refer to specific times in my life based on great concerts. As great as a live show can be, they can be god awful, or simply nonexistant. Sometimes it is the venue, sometimes it is your own taste, and sometimes it is the artist. If it is the artist's fault for a bad show, I think they need to take some responsibility for it. I mean, if your voice sucks, or you forget your own lyrics or chords during a show, you should pay the fans back. Just because you suck at performing live, or possibly just suck at life, doesn't mean you get to be a dick and ruin the night for your fans AND take their money.
While this is bad, the worst possible thing that a musician could do, no it isn't selling out, is storm off stage during a concert like some petulant child, or even worse, cancel the rest of their tour dates so people like me have to wait another two years to see them live. This brings me to two relatively famous musicians: Ryan Adams and Ray LaMontagne.
First, let me make something very clear, I would never pay to see Ryan Adams live. I haven't paid for any of his cd's, which suck, it is horrifying (imagine sliding down a razor blade on your tail bone into a vat of hydrogen peroxide...that is what it is like for your ears when you listen to Ryan Adams) and worst of all, he is probably the world's biggest asshole.
Now that I have that out of the way, I can finally get to the battle. Appearantly, these two idiot singer-songwriters have one great flaw in common: They love to storm offstage during their live shows and cancel the remaining tour dates thus ruining it for everyone. Which one is worse? Lets see!
Ryan Adams:

A prolific "song" writer as apt to record an "album" as he is to show up onstage drunk or high or both. Adams is notorious for thrashing about drunkenly onstage, ruining his own sets, storming of stage due to crowd noise (hello, its a concert asshole), broken guitar strings, faulty wiring, etc., getting pissed off for being called bryan adams, eating babies, cancelling tours, eating babies, and occasionally performing music.

Ray LaMontagne:

Gifted with a pretty sweet voice that reminds me of a non-gay rod stewart/tracy chapman/sufferer of bronchitis. I actually have seen Ray live, and it was good. Sadly, however, he has decided to become a huge douche. While on tour with Guster, Ray decided to walk off stage and cancel the rest of his tour dates because he was tired of crowd noise. Hey dipshit, its a concert, people will make noise, especially when they pay to see you open for Guster. I don't care what you think as a performer, these people pay to see you perform, and that gives them the right to make some noise, be annoying, and even leave the show if you suck. It doesn't mean they can be violent, but that rarely happens. And it doesn't give you the right to leave if you get annoyed, this is your job, this is your privalege, this is your honor. Have some fucking composure and finish your set, not everyone will love you. Especially since you are such an asshole.

The Verdict:

Well, Both of these assholes should be dipped in honey and tossed into a bear orgy, but I think Adams edges it, only on experience. If Ray wants to be a bigger douche, he needs to work at it because Adams has him beat. But don't worry Ray, just keep making records and storming off stage and cancelling tours and I'm sure you will make it there. Everyone has to have dreams, right?

Soccer, its not for creepy europeans anymore...
Now Playing: Liverpool vs. Deportivo Saprissa
So, since I always give my two cents on everything, and seeing as how soccer (football) is the world's most popular sport, I figured I could give a half-assed World Cup preview and even do a team by team analysis and maybe pick a winner or something.

The one thing I can compare the world cup to, so other americans can understand, is the ncaa basketball tournament. March Madness to the lay person. Except the pride of a nation is on the line, not just the pride of a bunch of drunken idiots. Well...nevermind, same thing kindof. So, without further delay...here is my team by team analysis.

Group A

Costa Rica

You really cannot underestimate this team. Most of the players are homegrown. Then again, they probable won't make it out of the group stages.

Ecuador

Same with Costa Rica, they have a chance if they can get some kindof result against Costa Rica and Poland/Germany. But, I don't see that happening.

Poland

They actually led their group in qualifying until England squeeked past them in the end. They have some creative players. And they are pretty strong defensively. They make it out of this group.

Ze Germans

The hosts got a very favorable draw. And ze germans always seem to do well at the world cup. The team will give up plenty of goals, but they will score plenty too. Player to watch: Miroslav Klose, he has been on fire for Werder Bremen this year.

Group B

Trinidad & Tobago

Its always fun to see teams from smaller countries in the world cup. Unfortunately for T&T, I think they will have a short stay in Germany.

Paraguay

If I asked you what south american country has won the world cup, and you said paraguay, I'd tell you that you were confused. The correct answer is Uruguay. However, I think Paraguay could advance. They are a strong, close, and experienced squad. And sweden seems like a stinker.

Sweden

Watch out for Zlatan Ibrahimavic, the striker is Sweden's Wayne Rooney. Even though the swedes are dangerous, and have plenty of quality, I don't think that they will advance, but then again, I've been wrong before.

England

The three lions have an embarrassment of riches in central midfield and defense. They also could be the most overhyped team in the tournament. They will make it out of the group, even without Wayne Rooney. Watch out for Aaron Lennon. Everyone will be waiting for Theo Walcott, but the little winger Lennon has that undeniable spark of creativity.

Group C

Ivory Coast

With Toure, Kalou, and Zikora, not to mention Mr. Diver himself Didier Drogba, this team has the kind of talent to advance, but I think Holland and Argentina will get results against them and Serbia & Montenegro could get a point as well.

Serbia & Montenegro

This is a darkhorse team. They have plenty of talent, and they are not afraid of the big names. If the ball bounces their way, they really could make it out of the group, but I can't go against holland and argentina. Player to watch: Nikola Zigic, this gigantic striker could be a difference maker.

Holland

It seems that the Dutch are everyone's favorite darkhorse team in every tournament. Van Basten has done well to bring in younger talent, but it comes at the expense of some very big names. With Van der Vaart, Van Nistelrooij, Kuijt, Robben, and Van der Sar, this team is loaded. They have a good chance of doing some damage in this tournament. Watch out for Dirk Kuijt, he could very well be the next great Dutch striker.

Argentina

As always, the Argentinians are rock solid. Strong in defense, midfield, and attack, they would be my favorites if I didn't watch so much English soccer. I really like Riquelme, and if Gabriel Heinze is fit, this could be the team that wins it all. Look out for Lionel Messi, he is only a teenager and he could be the tournaments brightest star.

Group D

Iran

No offense to Iran, but I really don't rate teams from the asian qualifying group. I don't think they are as bad as Saudi Arabia was four years ago though. But that won't get them through the group.

Angola

Usually, one African team does surprisingly well at the World Cup, but Angola is probably not that team this year. I think it will be a good plus for them, because they won't finish last in the group, but they won't advance.

Mexico

The Mexican league is surprisingly strong, and the Mexican national team is very good proof of that. Mexico has some excellent players and they should cruise through this group. Check out Rafa Marquez, he will provide defensive strength for the squad.

Portugal

Euro 2004 showed that, when on, Portugal can beat just about anyone. It also showed that they have a tendency to fall short at the biggest level. Cristiano Ronaldo should provide his tricks, but my player is Deco, he should shine.

Group E

Ghana

Ghana is my darkhorse. They have some big names (Appiah, Essien) and they just look like they could upset some teams. I would like to see them make it out of the group stages.

Czech Republic

Without Mr. Amazing European Cup goalscorer Vladimir Smicer, this team is still loaded. Having Nedved will be huge. And Baros is always a pest up front. They could be possible winners, but thats a slim possibility. Watch Tomas Rosicky. He scored some incredible goals in the Bundesliga this year and he will be looking to impress his new fans at Arsenal this summer.

Italy

Italy is another team that seems to always do well at the world cup. This time, however, could be different. The team, on paper, looks rock solid. Excellent individual talent. But that doesn't always spell success. And with the whole match-fixing scandal, Italy may be too distracted this time around. All that being said, I still have a hard time believing they won't make it out of the group stages.

USA

As odd as it may seem, I am a bit of a patriot. I love my country, I just have issues with our leadership. I really want team USA to do well, I just have this feeling that it will be like cheering for the Detroit Lions: a hopeless and depressing cause. Uncle Sam's men got screwed into the group of death, and I think it will be just that for the USA in this world cup.

Group F

Croatia

Srna, Prso, Simic, and Tudor, this team will give anybody a fight. They have a good shot at making it out of the group, they just need a little luck.

Japan

Nakata and Takahara will scare any team. Japan looks solid and I don't see why they couldn't get a result against Croatia and Australia to make it through.

Australia

IF Harry Kewell is fit, the aussies could be a dangerous team. Without him, they still pose a strong threat. I have a hard time seeing them getting past Croatia and Japan, but it is probable.

Brazil

I really don't need to say anything about this team. They speak for themselves and Brazil is a team that can beat any and every team in the world. There are however, questions about their defence. But the attack is just fine. I'm going to be looking forward to the play of Kaka and Ronaldinho.

Group G

Togo

One of eight debutants in the tournament. Togo has alot of talented players, namely Adebayor, but they probably won't do much damage.

South Korea

This is a team that has some good reasons to be excited. They have a skilled team, but I wonder if they will do much beyond the group.

Switzerland

Well, atleast they have good banks and excellent cheese. But all joking aside, it is between them and South Korea for the second spot out of the group.

France

Can Zidane inspire the french for one last glorious run? I hope so. It would be awesome to watch the masterful midfielder in top form before he retires. With Henry, Cisse, Trezeguet, and Saha as options up front, Les Blues have plenty of quality up front. Its the problems in goal and in defence that worry me. I mean, Jean Alain Boumsong in central defence? Are you serious? Okay then...

Group H

Saudi Arabia

If you didn't catch it when I was talking about Iran, Saudi Arabia could be the worst team in the tournament. I feel bad for some reason. I don't know why.

Tunisia

See Togo. My apologies to Togo and Tunisia.

Ukraine

If there ever was a one man team, this is it. Andriy Shevchenko has willed this team to the world cup. If he is healthy, this team will stroll through the group.

Spain

Ah Spain. Creo...erm I believe this team will go past the group. Only because they dropped Fernando Morientes. No offense mori, but you looked nothing like what people said you would be at Liverpool. Thats not an insult, just a compliment on how great you were and can be. I hope Xabi Alonso and little Luis Garcia show off their amazing abilities.

Does Barry Bonds do Steroids? Does the pope poo in the woods? Wait a minute...
Mood:  spacey
Now Playing: Across The Universe - The Beatles
So A lot of press has been focused on Barry Bonds and his chase for the homerun record. Currently he sits at 713. One short of Babe Ruth and still 42 short of Hank Aaron. In case you've been living under a rock, or to be more specific, dead, for the last 4 years, Bonds has been strongly linked with steroids, BALCO, etc. It doesn't help that he is extremely short tempered with the media, tends to be a huge asshole, and is a gigantic racist (both physically and metaphorically). I know I did a previous post about this, but I really want to focus on something different with this one. Recently, I have been reading, watching, listening, etc. to a bunch of so-called "pundits" that claim to know what the fuck they are talking about. These dumbasses say that Bonds, because of his steroid use, shouldn't be allowed to pass the immortal Ruth because he is a terrible person that cheats and disrespects the game. Um, hello? Where are you sane and rational thinking? You've been missed these last 5 years. Let me clarify something: Babe Ruth was not and never will be a fucking saint. The man gambled, boozed, did drugs, and slept with so many women that he was considered shawn kemp decades before shawn kemp even existed. Plus, Babe Ruth was a terrible teammate. He refused to play in games, missed practices, cursed out coaches, teammates, and umpires. People need to stop thinking of ruth like this:

The guy was basically a terrible human being and an even worse ambassador for the game. If babe ruth lived today, this is what he would probably look like:

Now back to Bonds. Yes Barry Bonds is an asshole, yes he is a racist (if you don't believe me, try reading his statements, or the book "Game of Shadows"), yes he took steroids and cheated (seriously, if you don't think he did, you are just as dumb as all the people that support george bush, jerry falwell, pat roberts, and republicans), but Barry Bonds was and is a hall of famer. Let me break things down for you.

Prior to 2001, the year in which it is widely acknowledged that Bonds played a full season while taking roids, the man was a sure fire hall of famer. Lets check the career stats til then:
494 homeruns, 1405 RBI, 471 stolen bases, .289 Batting Average.
This means that his average season before 2001 was:
.289avg, 37hr, 105rbi, 35steals.
The guy was THE most complete baseball player in the game, along with a certain mr. griffey jr. He was mvp 3 times before 2001. He was a gold glove outfielder every year from 1990-1998 (except 1995). He led the league in OPS (slugging% + on base%) 5 times before 2001. If Barry Bonds would've died before 2001, he would have been a sure fire hall of famer. So he took steroids. So did nearly 15% of players (according to positive, but private, test results) and many, MANY more if you listen to some current and former players. So he cheated. So does every current player that takes HGH, and trust me, many are. Baseball, and in particular, fans and writers, need to stop being such fucking hypocrites. Just because Ruth is dead, and dominated an era with a small yankee stadium, and is therefore glorified in myth and legend, doesn't mean he is a better person or player than Bonds. All this being said, I still hate Bonds, he is a dick, and should just lighten the fuck up, but he won't so I will continue to hate him. Oh, and here is some photographic evidence for those of you that don't believe he took steroids.
Before:

After:

End of discussion.

The second coming of judas...and why I need to start working out
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: The Black Keys-All hands against his own
So in case you have been living under a fucking rock for the last 48 hours, I have some shocking news: Johnny Damon (aka Captian Caveman, Jesus of the outfield, conquerer of the evil empire, idiot, etc) the All-Star center fielder for the Boston Red Sox has done the unthinkable and unforgiveable and signed with the most evil of all sports franchises: The New York Yankees. That is no typo, Johnny Damon is now officially a sellout of the same calibre as A-Rod, except his betrayal goes far beyond the financial profligacy and mercinary intent showed by A-Rod when decided to rival krusty the clown and join the rangers. No, Damon's sin is far worse. He left a team only a year removed from winning its first world series since 1918 to join their archrivals. Sure other redsox have done this, and with the way that free agency has become in baseball and other sports for that matter, it is much more common for these types of moves to occur. However, no matter how much money is thrown around, the final decision rests with the player. The Yankees offered 4 years and 52 million. A rediculous sum for a centerfielder who probably has only 2 or 3 good seasons left. This just proves that nearly every player just goes for the money. Which does make sense, I mean, honestly, would you stay at a job you loved but payed you minimum wage or would you go to a job that payed you a significant amount more and was not quite as pleasurable? If you say that you would want to stay with the first job you are nuts, and you are lying, yes...you are...stop denying it. Very rarely do you see job loyalty in the business world let alone sports, so why do fans get so upset when players do the same thing that any average joe would do? Because fans are idiots. I am willing to admit i'm an idiot and I will explain why. First off, fans, ALL FANS are hypocrites. I just explained this with the financial aspect previously. But also, even the most diehard fan criticizes his team or players, jumps on bandwagons, jumps off bandwagons, and just plain acts retarded. For proof of this behavior, ask for a fans reaction of the last few drafts that their team had. I am certain you will hear a few "that guy is worthless," or "our gm is fucking retarded" lines that would not make them seem like a fan. Another reason fans are idiots is that they spend an unhealthy portion of their income to support their team and players when these people make millions upon millions upon millions of dollars. Step back and think about the disgusting amount of money that professional athletes make. Do these people contribute THAT much to society? Are they curing cancer? Are they eliminating poverty? Are they providing better education for the youth of America? No, no, no and NO!. Now picture that amount of money and tell me that could not be put to use solving some of america's other problems. If pro athletes made the same salary as say, a firefighter, I would find it much easier to support and relate to them. Another thing that makes fans idiots is that they care more about the games and the sports than the athletes do. This is already been proved by the mercinary-like behavior of athletes and their continued disregard for the "integrity" and "honor" of the game when the sell their services to the highest bidder, take performance enhancing drugs to cheat (to get more money), taunt and humiliate other professionals (to get more exposure and money), this list goes on forever. Why would any sane person support players when they all consistently do these things? Ok, i'm done, i'm tired, and I think my anger about Johnny Damon has gone away. Fuck that guy. Fuck him up his stupid ass.

Worst Advertising Campaign Ever
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Lyla-Oasis
Alright, so as some of you may know, I have been compared to a raccoon. Mostly because I became nocturnal and rummaged through garbage towards the end of last year. Well, I have come to embrace the majestic raccoon and all of its splendor. While I like raccoons, I find that even something as glorious as this little fella

Has his negative points. One being that raccoons are not picky animals. I mean, they rummage through garbage and pick fights with my dog for crying out loud. They are like the desparate yet loveable drug addicts of the world...stealing food to feed their families.

This is why it puzzles me that the home of the square burger (sorry White Castle) has decided to use my brethren to sell their food.

I mean, seriously, this has to be the dumbest advertising ploy ever.
First, raccoons rummage through garbage as I have previously stated.
Second, they are animals and that automatically means that their decision-making abilities are severly impared. I mean, would you trust your dog's taste in food when he licks his own ass? Of course not.
Third, raccoons, as far as I am aware of, cannot speak, which means that these commercials are completely farsical and this only brings shame to all parties involved, especially wendy's.
Fourth, I fucking hate wendy's. I don't trust little redheaded girls and I don't trust dave thomas, even if he is dead, which I doubt he is. I don't want some creepy old man and his freckled daughter selling me food. In fact, I don't like ANY character selling me food, especially fast food. Unless it happens to be count chocula. That guy kicks ass.

Seriously, Fuck Wendys.

Mokela Embebe
Mood:  silly
Now Playing: Clint Eastwood-Gorillaz
So I know that this post follows the one before it by like 20 minutes but bear with me. Since the events around this story happened like a month ago, and I don't feel like using the past tense because I'm lazy and I think tenses are for suckers, I will translate the story into the present. Which is not a tense since it is always changing. And because Vin Diesel said so. Anyways, so Brady, Matt and I are watching TV and believe it or not, we are watching the History Channel. Why you ask? Because Chef Tony wasn't on the air AND because it was a show about Bigfoot and other legendary creatures like el Chupacabra, Cuddle Monster, Maleb, and Mokela Embebe. What is Mokela Embebe? Well don't you wish you knew. Mokela Embebe is a ferocious dinasaur that survived millions of years in the jungles of the Congo and lives only in this one large lake. Being such a large creature, Mokela Emebe, pictured below, is king of the jungle...FUCK the Lion. They don't even live in jungles. They are fucking cats. And cats suck balls. Moving along.

So as I was saying, Mokela Embebe is so large it cannot possibly have a nemesis. Oh what a foolish statement that is. For according to the experts on the show Brady, Matt, and I are watching, Mokela Embebe HATES hippos and kills them upon seeing them.

Why? Well, it all begins back when the Hippos King, King Uncle Hippo Jesse XIV reigned over the jungle of Congo back in the 12th century. Up until this point, Hippos and Mokela Embebes had lived in a peaceful coexistence. Oftentimes they would frolic in the fields. Occasionally they would participate in intramural softball leagues. But all of this changed when King Uncle Hippo Jesse gave a wooden nickle to a young Mokela Embebe and refused to apologize. A feud began and Hippos began to perish. I myself support the Mokela Embebe cause. Fuck Hippos.

Long time no blog...New contender for Gangliest man ever
Mood:  incredulous
Now Playing: Trouble-Ray LaMontagne
Alright, so I know its been what now, 3 or 4 months? If that upsets you then you really need to get your priorities straight. Seriously, my random, er RANTOM thoughts aren't worth even typing, let alone reading. Imagine what I think of myself. Anyways, so living with Brady has reawakened an interest that I used to have for soccer, or football to every other person outside of America. But according to my government, you foreign people don't really matter anyways so I will call it both. Because I want to. Anyways, living with Brady has also turned me into a fairly serious Liverpool fan. Enough to where I skipped school to watch the Champions league final and I have been reading the transfer market rumors everyday this summer. And I have been reading the teams history page. And reading stats from seasons past. So basicly I'm becoming a fanatic just like I am for Michigan and Detroit Lions football. So I read this week that Liverpool finally signed Peter Crouch.

Now, some people may be wondering why Liverpool have signed the gangly, 6'7" striker. I don't want to get too technical here because Brady does enough of that on his anfield blog, but I will make a bold prediction and say that Crouch will actually do more than what Baros did in the last 5 months of the Premiership last season. Which basicly means if he scores oh I dunno, say 2 goals he will be amazing. I am more interested in his freakish gangliness. I mean, I have spent hours trying to find out what kind of animal he looks like. At first, I thought maybe an insect:

Even though their are some "striking" resemblences (sorry, I had to go for the pun) here, I fealt that it wasn't quite right. Yes there was gangliness and a little creepiness, but a Praying mantis isn't as prolific in front of net like most humans. So I ventured down to the Zoo when I was shocked to see an awesome Peter Crouch impersonator:

Okay, so maybe this one isn't as fair but still, just think about it. Both creatures pictured above are tall, gangly, have HUGE teeth, large tongues (appearantly crouch likes to grab leaves off of tree branches with his tongue for sustanence...I'm not too sure what ol' geoffrey does) but I still fealt like something was missing. So I went back home and was amazed when I saw my parrot "striking" (sorry again) an all too familiar pose:

Really, the similarities are, well, similar. Aside from the plumage, which peter crouch does his best to imitate, I'd say my parrot could be making some decent money at Anfield next season as half-time entertainment as an impersonator. But even after these three fruitful searches, I still didn't think I had found a perfect match. Then I had an epiphony. I varitable gold-mine of gangliness was visiting my apartment on a daily bases. I even lived with the guy. Yes, I had found my match. And it was glorious:

Seriously, separated at birth applies here. Except for the fact that Crouch is 3 years older than Caleb and was born in a different Country. I heard rumors about Kelly Heeringa but I wasn't sure until I compared the photgraphical evidence.

On a more serious note, I would like to say that I don't think that Peter Crouch is an ugly man. I mean, I am compared to racoons. I hope he produces for LFC. It should be an exciting season.

Who the hell does George Bush think he is?
Mood:  mischievious
Now Playing: Ludacris-Number 1 spot
Alright, I know I rip on Bush a lot. And it might get old. Wait a minute. No it doesn't. It never gets old because this guy continues to be such an arrogant asshole that lies and deceives and forces people to see things his way. Bush's latest bullshit move has been his activities related to the death of the Pope. Now, let me clarify a few things here. The Pope, who was arguably one of the greatest humanitarian pontiffs in history, died and millions of catholics as well as other people mourned him. During his life, Pope JP2 (hey, i'm american, I have no time to spell things out all the time. Plus it makes the Pope seem more hip and like a jurrassic park movie) visited numerous countries, helped bring down communism, brought a humanitarian side to catholicism, apologized for Catholic ignorance related to the holocaust, met with numerous other religious leaders and actually made catholocism somewhat compassionate (like it is supposed to be...remember how compassionate that dude Jesus was?). Now let us review George Bush's life. Born in Connecticut, NOT FUCKING TEXAS, raised the son of a millionaire father. Gets "accepted" to Yale, gets C's, goes on to Harvard and gets more C's all the while being a retarded drunken frat boy. Twenty years filled with cocaine, booze, dui's extremely shady business deals pass and suddenly he "finds" god. I would like to know WHERE he found him because honestly, I think he found some homeless dude while coked up and hammered because Bush does not follow the teachings of the bible. But I digress. So after several failed jobs as the head of oil companies, Bush tries his hand at managing the texas rangers. What happened? More failure. Then he dupes a bunch of Texans into electing him their governer (gee, how hard can it be to trick a Texan) and then a few years later he pulls the same trick on America. Now that we know the background of these two people, lets do a little compare/contrast activity. Bush likes invading countries with no evidence and then when seeing something positive come out of the clusterfuck he created, claims that those were his real motivations for war. The pope condemned Bush's actions and actually garnered respect from Muslim leaders for doing so (hmmm...Bush could learn something from this). Bush converted to a moronic form of christianity known as evangelicalism. This form of chritianity is known for tricking idiots into sending in money to the preachers. Sounds like Bush learned a lot. The Pope leads a stupid form of christianity known as Catholocism. I fucking hate catholocism and all organized religion for that matter. The only thing organized religion does is fuck up a great idea and becomes corrupted by men. Atleast the Pope tried to do some good things with his power. So what exactly has got me so pissed off? If you happened to read any news articles about Bush and the Pope or seen the press conferences you would know.
The main thing that pissed me off is how Bush and his cronies are saying how he is so similar to the Pope. Um...no. I'm sorry, that is about the biggest load of shit I have ever heard. How can anyone in their right mind believe this shit? Bush's people claim that both men had a strong passion for humanitarianism. Huh? Correct me if I am wrong but isn't bush the worst environmental president in history? And isn't man in charge of the care of the earth? (see the bible...genesis would be a good starting point) Sounds pretty humane to me. This is also the same president that loves the death penalty (just look at his "home" state). The Pope does not condone the death penalty and in fact has discussed his displeasure of Bush's use of the death penalty many times. Killing people. Pretty humane huh? Lets now talk about sins here. What were the seven deadly sins again? Ah yes, Pride, Envy, Gluttony, Lust, Anger, Greed, Sloth. Gee, NONE of these words describe Bush AT ALL. Nope, not one. I wish there was some way I could be more sarcastic in print but I just don't see how it is possible. Bush embodies everything that is the exact opposite of what the pope was. The pope was a compassionate, caring, knowledgeable, religious, and humane person. George Bush? Compassionate...hmmm...unless compassion can be displayed through killing thousands of innocent civilians and your own countrymen? Uh no. Can it be shown by not listening to people with different beliefs or views than you? Nope. Can it be shown by exploiting others? Sorry, no. Lets next discuss George Bush's religion. Some idiots say that Bush is the most religious president in history. Those people are morons. Lets examine the term religious. This is an adjective (which modifies a noun. Also known as a descriptive word) that describes the level of a person's faith and belief in their religion. Lets now examine Bush's faith and belief and the way he follows his religion's teachings. Does Bush show tolerance? Does he follow the teachings of Jesus? Does he do anything remotely like what Christianity is supposed to be? NO, NO, AND NO. This pisses me off so much. George Bush is not religious he EXPLOITS religion. He says the buzz words "god", "faith", "lord", "prayer", and "religion" more than any person on earth. Why? Because when you say something enough, and people hear you say those words enough, people will then start to believe that you embody those words, that you in fact believe what you are saying. Bush has mastered this process better than anyone else. And he has successfully suckered every bible belt moron into following him. Just like the Walrus and the Carpenter that duped a bunch of oysters into following them and then shucked and devoured them. Get ready everyone, because we are already getting shucked. Anyways, I guess I just want to say that honor and mourn the Pope. Don't give any attention to Bush because that is what he wants. Fuck him. Fuck him up his stupid ass.

one guy is nothing like the other

The Veggie Monster???
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: PTI
So I recently did a post about Sean May and how he is much like the Cookie Monster...My beloved Cookie Monster. With all of his blue fur and constant cookie cravings. The way he gobbles cookies whole and leaves a ginormic mess afterwards. Anyways, enough of me babbling on about my fond memories of the cookie monster. I was reading the news today (yes, some people still read news articles) when I found the biggest scandal of ALL-TIME. Yes bigger than anything some left-wing hippie gorp-eater could find about bush, and believe me, it wouldn't be hard. Bigger than anything some right-wing asshole could blow out of proportion and then gripe about for eternity about Bill Clinton, and believe me, it wouldn't be too hard. I mean look at what these republican assholes are still doing...bitching about Clinton. Blaming Bush's failures on Clinton's fuckups. FUCK that shit. Grow some nuts, then let them drop, then use your brain and get some fucking responsibility. Jesus. Ok, so now that I have that shit out of the way, BACK to my beloved Cookie Monster. SO I read this article, and you should read it too. It is sad really. SO sad. I say we should do something about this. It is time to write the creators of Sesame Street and do something to rectify this atrocity. Bastards. Oh yeah, here is the link.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT? "Me eat less cookies" Say it ain't so Cookie Monster, say it ain't so.