Jeff Probst: Gentlemen, here it is...your final challenge for the one million dollars...a little game we call "Tit for Tat." We know you have experience in this arena, having witnessed your infamous reciprocal destruction of Mr. Finlayson's hut while he destroyed your Christmas trees. First, you are to begin in a properly hostile mindset. Mr. Hardy, think about how Stan always steps in front of you to try to ring doorbells. And Mr. Laurel, think about the time Mr. Hardy blamed you for stealing that old lady's money when she was merely rehearsing for a community play. Are you in the proper frame of mind now? Good. The rules are very simple. Using only your hands and fingers, you are to inflict pain in every possible orifice of your opponent's body. Each original gesture will earn you twenty-five points. If you repeat a gesture--for example, you hit your opponent in the stomach more than once--you will receive only fifteen points for each duplicate gesture. If you forget yourself and perform a gesture or act that cannot be broadcast on national television, you lose ten points. The first person to reach or exceed one hundred points will be the winner. Any person who screams out in pain will be automatically disqualified. Do you understand? Now, begin with your fingers in neutral positions on each other's noses...and may the best poker win. Ollie pokes around in Stan's head to check for brains - 25 points Stan pokes Ollie in eye - 25 points Ollie bites Stan - Ollie leads, 50 to 25 Stan extends politically incorrect finger - Ollie leads, 50 to 15 Ollie inserts paper into Stan's ear - Ollie leads, 75 to 15 Stan repeats eye-poke gesture - Ollie leads, 75 to 30 Ollie tries to insert finger into unacceptable orifice - Ollie still leads, 65 to 20 Ollie tries white-magic gesture to heat up finger, succeeds only in setting himself on fire, screams - End of challenge - Stan wins NEXT: The final vote (Click on Ollie to go back; click on Stan to go forward.)
