Mr.Wonderful unloading
after 16 hour shift
MW Talks Arizona
Politics & Current Events


Last Updated:

Best Viewed with
MS Internet Explorer
Medium Text 1024 x 768

Arizona Links:

Phoenix Police Department

Alarm Permits
Frauds & Scams
Id Theft
Internet Crime
Motorized Skateboards
Red Light Cameras
. . . and more

Maricopa County Elections
Polling Place Locator

1. Polling places are open from 6:00am to 7:00pm on election day.
2. To find out the name, address and map to your polling place . . .
3. Please enter your residence address of record. In most cases, this would be . . .

Your Polling Place,
Click HERE

Arizona Politico's:

U.S. Senators:

  Honorable John McCain (r)

  Honorable Jon Kyl (r)

Arizona Congressional Map

  Interactive Congressional Map
  Easily locate the district you live
  and vote in. You do vote, don't you?

U.S. Representatives:

  AZ District #1
  Honorable Rick Renzi (r)

  AZ District #2
   Honorable Trent Franks (r)

  AZ District #3
   Honorable John Shadegg (r)

  AZ District #4
   Honorable Ed Pastor (d)

  AZ District #5
   Honorable J.D. Hayworth (r)

  AZ District #6
   Honorable Jeff Flake (r)

  AZ District #7
   Honorable Raul Grijalva (d)

  AZ District #8
   Honorable Jim Kolbe (r)

Project Vote Smart:
  Find any politician using the
  P.V.S. last name search engine

From the PVS website:
"Project Vote Smart (PVS) is a citizen's organization dedicated to serving all Americans with accurate and unbiased information for electoral decision-making. Its policies, procedures and structure are designed to guarantee absolute impartiality and standards of excellence in fulfillment of its mission."

click to go to the State of Arizona Service Site

Visit SeviceArizona to complete, via the internet, any of the below listed tasks and more:

Vehicle Registration Renewal
Address Change
Duplicate Driver License/ID
Voter Registration
Restricted Use 3-Day Permit
Personalized/Specialty Plates
Driver License Reinstatement
Duplicate Vehicle Registration
Plate Credit
Fleet Registration Renewal

My Other Pages:

Arizona Politics and Current Events Archives

National Politics
Current Events
Mr. Wonderful Explains Current Events
Photos by Mr.Wonderful
Links to News & Entertainment
Dr.Neon's Year 2000 Hoopla
Hitler and Mr.Wonderful


Contact Mr.Wonderful

MW Kicks Officer Friendly in the Teeth
Your Mr. Wonderful, regularly laboring through 72 hour, 7 day weeks, while providing air-tight security services for various residential communities in The Town of Paradise Valley, north Scottsdale and Anthem, Arizona, often gets home at odd hours and is frequently more tired than Hugh Hefner after servicing each one of his live-in triplets, often parks in one of the always (always) vacant apartment Bush-One mandated handicapped parking spaces that is within thirty feet of his front door. Click to Enlarge BluedotI can do this, because I have borrowed from Mr.G, his Michigan blue handicap-permit-review-mirror-attaching blue placard. One evening, arising from a three hour nap after a particularly brutal day of waving and raising the gate house crossarm, I was greeted by an agitated Mr.Wonderful III, telling me that I had forgotten to hang my hc-placard from my review mirror and although it was plainly visible (being I have no special tinting on my glass and my sun-shields had not been placed) lying on the passenger side seat, our 'Officer Friendly' had awarded me a huge parking ticket. $360. A $360 fine for forgetting to hang the hc-placard that had served me so faithfully the entire summer. I quickly called the always gracious Scottsdale Police Department non-emergency phone number (480 312-5000) and was told by a female voice, that even though I was in possession of an hc-placard, I still must arrange a court date by pleading not guilty. Unfortunately, since the placard was issued by the state of Michigan, to Mr.G, while my vehicle was registered in Arizona, I could not use the defense that I forgot to hang it, else I leave myself open to more serious charges. I asked Mr.G if he'd be kind enough to lie in court under oath for me. He consulted his priest, The Cardinal Ignatius Indulgence Sheen, and quickly enough informed me, that as a good Catholic, he could not lie under oath. That is, unless he was sworn in on a Koran. As a very few of you know, not only is your Mr.Wonderful an unheralded graduate of the state institution that continues to occupy the northwest corner of Van Buren and 24th Streets, I was enrolled in in a pre-law regime at Glendale Community College back in the early 70s of the last century. Dredging up ancient classroom lessons, I prepared my defense. As futile as that may sound to reader's who haven't felt the power of my immense intellect <grin>, might I inform you that, as a 20th Century teenager, facing a college-educated, bar passing, suit wearing, city attorney, I wrenched a not-guilty verdict from a city of Phoenix traffic court judge. What was the awful crime I had committed? Illegal parking. Back in the 21st Century, I again examined the ticket, and discovered that, because it sat in two different cities, the apartment complex had a pair of quite different addresses; one on a north-south street and one on an east-west avenue. One, in the Town of Paradise Valley, one in the City of Scottsdale. Officer Friendly, in codifying the scene of the heinous crime, had wrongly chosen both the city and the street address. To further cement my case was the photographic evidence of a huge map, mounted on the mailbox wall, approximately six feet from the handicapped parking space in question. A map complete with a "You Are Here" red dot and the correct address of where "Here" is. I snapped digital photos of the four other handicapped spaces in the area and then highlighted them on a map I picked up from the office. This map revealed, that if I had parked in a hc-space within the same address and town as the officer had claimed, I would have left my silver Sonata in a space so distant from my apartment as to make no sense, for there were sure to have been numerous vacant, non-handicapped spaces hundreds of feet closer. At the Scottsdale Justice Courthouse, armed with these facts, I sat outside 'Courtroom Four' until almost 4:00 PM, when I realized I needed instead to be at 'Courtroom Seven' at 4:00 PM. Hey, no one is perfect. Once inside, after witnessing a young mother (complete with gurgling infant in perambulator) crushed by a female officer's testimony, witness statements and then hearing the judge rule guilty, I may have become a bit anxious. He then turned to me to state that he exercised a thirty minute rule. Continuing, he explained that that meant, if the officer did not appear prior to 4:30PM, the city's case against me would be dismissed. Reading my book while keeping the digital clock displaying the five-inch red numerals, counting up to 4:30:00PM, above the top of the page, I was startled when it went black. I immediately asked the court reporter (who remained in the courtroom after the judge left, and went where ever judges go between cases) "What happened to my countdown clock?" To which he replied, "Oh it turns off when ever we aren't filming." Geeze. Crime is out of control, but at least we've got it on tape. At the 4:28:43 count, the clock woke up and the judge floated back in as if he were on wheels, like one of the phantoms from the 1958 movie, House on Haunted Hill, and advised me that my case had been dismissed.
Mr.Wonderful Talks Arizona Politics & Current Events @

Horse Droppings on the Streets of the "West's Most Western Town"
Your Mr. Wonderful, continuing to smolder from almost being ticketed, for almost breaking the law the other day, was left pondering the insane street situation we have here in Scottsdale, Arizona. And that insane condition is that in this Valley of the Sun there must be, at the very minimum, 50,000 vehicles being driven by illegal aliens. The individuals steering these cars, trucks and vans, regardless of the situation in their own country, have broken the laws of a sovereign foreign nation and simply should not be here.S.P.D. at accident scene Or should be behind bars. Keeping those facts in mind consider the following. The drivers of these cars have no formal driver's training and cannot read our traffic signage selfishly labeled in English only. They possess no driver's licenses (hence no legal identification) carry no auto insurance and stuff forged vehicle registrations and non-existent emission test certificates into a glove box whose door will not close. Many times their white "Campensino"-adorned 1981 Datsun's and Dodge Caravans spew ten to hundreds of times more pollutants into our southwestern skies than the properly maintained vehicles driven by you and me. Many of these autos were sold for cash to these border crossing carpet baggers by Arizona citizens who care more about picking up an easy buck for the old Family Truckster than they do about the fact that hordes of these immigrants are turning swathes of our cities into barren and dangerous Third World war zones replicating the Biblical locust plagues that devastated formerly fertile Old Testament farm lands. These road-side purchased vehicles are about as safe as a midnight drive with a wheezing and red-faced Ted Kennedy over a narrow wooden-planked bridge. Amidst all these street-borne dangers driven by these illegals is the real world reality, since our federal government will do nothing to permanently rid Arizona of these invaders (only weakly attempting to deport those who have raped or murdered or committed violent crimes) is the fact that they enjoy a virtually ticket-free and extremely inexpensive driving experience. Scottsdale police avoid suspected illegal aliens in their trek to their work, where the least hungover amigo is selected as the driver while the other three to five swarthy-skinned passengers continue to sleep off last night's pork-rind and Budweiser fueled inebriation. In the only consistently media-ignored instance of racial-profiling, western-lawmen-of-the-asphalt concentrate on citizen-drivers like you and I, who have spent thousands on mechanically safe vehicles. And on insurance. And on annual registration and emission testing fees, driver's licenses and traffic tickets and high-priced traffic re-education sessions. This enforcement pattern is the sad and strange status quo, even though it is obvious that a huge percentage of all traffic violations, tie-ups and crashes and almost one hundred percent of 'hit-and-runs' are scored by these four-wheeled invaders from the Third World.
Mr.Wonderful Talks Arizona Politics & Current Events @

A Speed Limit for Right Turns?
By the time your Mr.Wonderful reached age twenty-one, I had received twenty-one pink traffic tickets. Now, they weren't all for moving violations, some were parking tickets and some were mechanical tickets. "Mechanical tickets?" you might ask. Well, these were tickets written by Phoenix police back in the 20th Century while sitting behind the spaghetti-thin steering wheels of white and beige Ford LTDs. (Just like they drove in the Clint Eastwood, Phoenix-filmed movie, The Gauntlet.) This is when officers had the time to shower mostly innocent and mostly Caucasian teenagers and young adults, with nit-picking violations. This was before gangs of illegal aliens began performing the "Shoot out at the OK Corral" only on East Valley freeways, rather than in the desert. This was prior to thousands of Third World Spanish-speaking hoodlums (shielded by our diversity-minded, gruff voiced, governor-ess, Napolitano and "most foul" and greedy businessmen) began perpetrating home invasions, people smuggling, mugging, pillaging and pouring gasoline under the doors of check cashing offices hoping to murder, or at least barbecue, sans the A-1 sauce, the quaking employees inside. I still remember my first traffic tickets. While my primal Arizona driver's license was still sticky from the laminating machine, I was pulled over by two separate Phoenix police officers. At the same time. I was ticketed for "failure to dim headlights" and "loud pipes." Both were extremely serious violations, especially when cruising the television studio bright, 1960s Central Avenue at speeds between five and thirty five miles per hour. This morning, after engaging in a delightful sixteen hour workday the prior Wednesday, in a futile attempt to extend my sleeping time, I had remained in bed longer than usual. Sadly that decision resulted in a silly attempt to make up time on my 5:35AM, twenty-two minute drive to work. Since I was listening to a Christian FM radio station, I cleared the two largest intersections on a solid green light <grin>. Northbound on the Pima Freeway, I piled off, as I had done hundreds of times before, at the Pima Road exit. Arriving at the actual intersection, in the inside lane, moving at the vastly reduced speed of around 37 MPH, I was greeted with a smiling, green, right-turn arrow while I remained in my lane during the "high speed" one-handed turn. ("High speed", that is, for Scottsdale incompetents who can somehow roll BMW X5's and giant-wheeled Escalades negotiating the parking lot of any AJ's grocery store.) As I powered the mighty front wheel drive Hyundai away from the intersection, in my rearview mirror I delighted at the brilliant red and blue roof-top mounted lights of a police vehicle . . . most likely hanging a U-turn and slamming through a red light. Soon I noticed a pair of headlights screaming up behind me as if I were the target of a heat seeking missile. As the pair of glowing orbs slowed as they approached within a few car lengths, I moved the Sonata over into the curb-lane and was not surprised as the vehicle behind me mimicked my migration. re-enactment of incident.
Do not try this at home.
Click to enlarge! As I slowed and pulled off the road, a blue-streaked Scottsdale P.D. Crown Victoria keeping to the asphalt, crept up beside the now stationary silver Sonata. Above the stenciled words, "To Protect and to Serve" the darkly tinted passenger side window whirred down. I powered my own window to the open position. A voice from inside the darkness advised me, in only the petulant tones a police officer can affect, that even though I had a green arrow, I had swerved during my turn and I should, ". . . keep it down." However, I realized, that unless I had lost control and swerved into an oncoming lane or vehicle or off the road entirely, the officer was standing on a judicial mud-slide and would surely lose his case in court. That was why he pulled up next to me, not behind me. Heart thumping, I agreed to his request. As I meticulously drove the five remaining miles to my humble guard shack, I realized that the officer had probably been staking out that area on a regular basis, having, days ago, standing in awe, as he witnessed me scoot around that corner at speeds not usually seen north of the Phoenix International Raceway, decide to stop me at some future date. That reminds me of the time when the Department of Public Safety devoted three officers in an attempt to catch me driving my BMW motorcycle in the three foot wide 'fast lane' on the I-17 . . .
Mr.Wonderful Talks Arizona Politics & Current Events @