Ah...
Mood:  sad
Now Playing: Coldplay's The Scientist
I’m giving him up.

I’m sorry I haven’t written in a while, and that this must be so sudden, but I’m giving him up. I told Michael, who’s been friends with him for three years or something and he just doesn’t recommend it. I’m just not his type, and he’s probably not mine. We’re so different. He does drugs and alcohol, and he likes popular people in low-cut shirts, and that’s just not me. The depressing thing is, I can totally see that in him. I suppose I always have. He’s not worth it. I still care about him, but now I see the only way to helping him is being nothing more than a friend. I still think he’s an amazing person, but it’s depressing the way he just kinda throws that aside and does the terrible things he does. He’s still really nice, but it just won’t work out. So I’m giving it up. I’m calling it off, it’s going to be over.

Besides, I’m afraid I’m going to fall in love with his friend, David, my MUN partner, someone who I truly like, and seems to be perfect. The thing is, he’s Asian, and I just wanted to have half-Asian babies, but it doesn’t matter underneath it all. I just wanted to be different, but I like David. Not that way yet, but I like him nonetheless. This one might be real. I hope it will turn out that way. I hope I don’t seem like a stereotypical teenager, one who “falls in love” over and over again, and who goes through relationships like tissue. It’s so unfortunate. I’m like, pushing away things just to be different. How terrible am I? Geez, let it be. Seriously.

I hope this is real, and isn’t just some reality I’d like to believe in.

This is going to be long and hard and painful.