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The Looper Spiritual Infirmary for the Cure of Soul and Body

Friend, if you are troubled by homo-sexual desires, addicted to tattoos or masturbation (or have tattoos of yourself or others masturbating), believe in the New Age lies of Satan and Shirley MacLaine,  listen to worldly music, are a man who "dick dances" in front of women, or have Nazi leanings, then you are 100% likely to be possessed by devils. The disease is called Sin and the cure is Jesus. 

Dr. Jesus bids you to come to The Looper Spiritual Infirmary for the Cure of Soul and Body. Here, trained Christian Looperologists -- all of whom have, in order to prove their faith, handled venomous spiders -- will treat you using only Godly methods. When a troubled soul comes to us, he or she will be saved, healed, and delivered. And they will be spider-bitten  to prove their deliverance!

 

Ten Step Programs are for Sissies! We use a Thirteen Step Treatment program.

Here is one of our protocols of treatment. This particular protocol is indicated for treatment of those who like to dance to hypnotic, seductive, worldly, rap or dance music , or those men who like to "dick dance" by shaking and thrusting their pelvis and penis in front of liquored-up, whorish housewives out for a bachelorette-slut party at some devil-filled saloon what caters to whores, homos, and perverts. Here is the treatment, and it works nine times out of ten. Where it fails, it is the patient's fault for up and dying on us,:

1. The patient is stripped naked with his or her wrists tied securely behind their back. This is for their safety and to protect our staff of dedicated Christian Looperologists. 

2. A stout rope is then fastened to the rope binding the wrists. The rope is carried over a pulley fixed to the roof of the clinic chamber.

3. The Looperologists then hoist the patient up with this rope until he or she is suspended about six feet from the floor.

4. In this position, heavy iron weights, usually amounting to about 100 pounds, are attached to the patient's feet.

5. At this juncture,  he or she is asked to renounce dancing and worldly music, dick-dancing, or whatever, and to accept Jesus.

6.  Any refusal proves demonic possession, and so we administer a number of stripes with a whip upon the patient's naked back. This is to enable the patient to distinguish between themselves and their demon. You see, the demon never feels the pain, but the patient does. In this manner, the patient sees that he or she has a demon and that this demon is separate and does not feel pain. Pain is very cleansing and therapeutic when used in a Godly manner by dedicated Christian Looperologists. (See Looperology, Science of)

7. The demand to renounce Satan is repeated.

8. Any refusal to renounce sin and to accept Christ is the signal to escalate therapy to a more profound level for the patient's spiritual welfare.

9. The Looperologists pull on the rope, raising the patient almost to the ceiling.

10. The therapists then let the patient free-fall for several feet. 

11. The spiritual therapists then suddenly jerk the rope to a stop before the weights reach the floor.

12. The shock to the body, of this suddenly terminated fall, is sufficient to jar every bone, joint and nerve in the patient's body lose. This shock also induces in the patient a vivid, living knowledge of the reality of Christ Jesus. The shock also serves as a potent taste of Hell to come if Jesus is not accepted and sin is not renounced.

13. In most cases, the sudden stop entails dislocation of various joints and ruptures to tendons, nerves, and can cause blindness, internal bleeding, or even death. But we can do no other, for Jesus himself instructs us to take extreme measures to ensure salvation. Let us hear anew his living Word in Mark 9:43-49:

43If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out.45And if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than to have two feet and be thrown into hell. 47And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell, 48where the worm dieth not,  and the fire is not quenched.' 49Everyone will be salted with fire.

The process discussed above is s repeated again and again until the patient accepts Christ, renounces sin, becomes unconscious from pain, or otherwise dies. This is how we treat sin. Sin is serious and its remedy and cure is equally serious.  Here we see a patient being treated for having a blasphemous tongue that takes G-d's name in vain and spews profanities, including librul ideas such as tolerance and diversity:

 

Here is a report from the highly trained Christian Looperologist, Brother Odell Phelps on how he treated this librul: 

"This man is a perfesser at Harvard, what is a librul homo collige, who teaches an evil science called "medicine." His so-called specialty is oncology, which tries to treat cancer with deadly radeation and chemikal poysons rather than with essaic tea as we use.  Essaic tea and prayer will cure 100% of diseases. Anyway, this man's Godly fundamentalist Christian family in West Virginia -- from who the man had fled in 1978 -- had the good sense to seize him from his bed in the middle of the night in the name of Christ. The man was stayin at a some hoity-toity Jew hotel where he wuz speaking at a medical convenchun on some cure what he had invented that folks said was going to earn him what is called a noble prize. Well, ain't that fancy? A nobel prize, whatever it is, ain't noble if it don't honor God and bring PRAISE to JESUS!!! So, his family posed as hired hep in the hotel -- and they got away with it even thow they dont look Mexican -- and sosn they got in his room, hit him on the haid, hog-tied him, hid him under blankets in the back of their van, and brought him to us sosn we cud do a Godly Christian cure on him.

When he was ungagged, the man spouted some librul nonsense about his civil rights being violated and somethin about felonee kidnapping. Well sir, we said, "tell it to Satan cuz we don't care to hear it iffn it's not in GOD'S WORD the KING JAMES BIBLE of 1611 AD. " And then we placed this device on him you see in the pitchur. It is called the, "Librul Mouth Shutter-Upper" and every Christian oughta own a few. After 72 hours, we took it off and the man accepted Christ and renounced his sins. He disappeared from the horse pen in the barn we had put him up in with bread and water. We think he faked conversion just to escape. We are looking for him and his family has a reward out worth two hogs and a slab of beef ribs for his capchur. Iffn this man is readin this, all I have to say is this, "Brother, yer kin loves yew. Yew kan run, but yew caint hide from G-d or yer kin. "

I rekkin this feller will be back. Weuns hired Pikker Pace to hunt the feller down cuz Pikker is a right good tracker of bairs and mens.


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