Say what?
Tell me about your parents


How much affect has your relationship with your parents had on you in your life? Why?

Chito Trinidad: It's pretty big in fact. If they didn't care about how I was doing, I wouldn't probably care if I succeeded in life. I probably would be doing bad things instead of what they wanted me to be now -- like going to school, going to church.


Jessica Rosal: My mom has helped me especially to have a relationship with God -- she's more religious. With my dad, we're pretty close. I like our relationship because I can be open with both of them. By just being open, that helps us to be close. If I did hide things, then it's harder to be closer because they don't know stuff about me.


Omar Trinidad: It has a direct, 100% affect on my life. Whatever they do, it affects me. I think the family is one unit, if one thing happens to a memebr, it affects everyone. Even if one parent has trouble, it affects everyone. It influences me and changes me, whatever happens.



Can you give me a specific memory of a time when their input -- or lack of input -- was crucial?

Chito Trinidad: In 5th grade, there was a time when I experimented with stuff, doing bad things -- they were giving more attention to my little brothers and my older brother rather than me. I was getting in trouble in school. I was not in the right path.


Jessica Rosal: It's not really a big thing, but at school. I'm always an average student, and when I'd get an A, it never was really referigerator material -- it was like, "Okay, good job," and move on. If they'd give me more encouragement, maybe it'd motivate me more to want to always do well.


Omar Trinidad: A basketball game that my dad didn't attend. I dunno why he didn't come.The game was important to me because it was my first time playing basketball for grade school, in eighth grade. Looking back, you know when you see on TV when you have your parents cheering for you? It really felt wierd because I wanted my parents to be there.



What do you wish your parents knew about you that they don't?

Chito Trinidad: Probably that I want them to know how much I care about them and how I understand what they're going through by working hard to give me a good education.


Jessica Rosal: I know that they do know that my intentions will not do wrong. They don't think that my intentions are good. Whenever they see me talk to a boy, they think that my intentions are to start a relationship, it's like "Oh boy, this is her next victim." I wish they won't think of things so negatively.


Omar Trinidad: That they affect my life a lot, and that I want them to see my accomplishments in school and in anything.



What about parents in general -- what do you think most young people want from their parents?

Chito Trinidad: Understanding, probably -- sometimes there's some situations that parents don't understand, because they probably never have gone thorough those situations.

Some kids also want some space between their parents and themselves.


Jessica Rosal: I think a lot of people, also me, we would want our parents to know who we really are, but then we're so scared that we'd be hiding. With a lot of people, the way we act at home and the way we act with our friends could be two totally different things. The way we act with our friends is often who we really are. And we're scared to show our parents this side of us because they might think we're not acting appropriately.


Omar Trinidad: I think it's just a sense of not undercaring but not overcaring as well -- it's like, when a kid makes a mistake, they won't blow over them, that's overkill. When they say something, it won't come out as negative.



Have you seen examples of parents who've not been there for their kids? Without using names, can you tell me about any of these instances?

Chito Trinidad: Ya, a friend who's dad left them. His parents got a divorce. He never had that fatherly influence. Instead of looking up to his Dad, he looks up to his uncles.


Jessica Rosal: This one girl in my high school, I guess her dad isn't so understanding of how she is, instead of offering to help her, he offered to send her to a therapist. She got upset, but she never really saw a therapist. She didn't like her school, and she wanted to go to night school, do something different. He thought she had an inferiority complex and so he wanted her to see a therapist.


Omar Trinidad: If it's a girl, they're more prone to stick with a guy they go out and make bad decisions about relationshiops. If it's a guy, if they don't have a dad, they take the characteristics of a woman -- they're more emotional, dramatic, feisty and more defensive. If he doesn't have a mom, he doesn't have the emotional side -- they become less caring. If their dad is fine, then the guy will be fine. I see these in my friends a lot.



How have your parents most influenced you? Have they had the biggest influence on your life? Why or why not?

Chito Trinidad: They're hardworking, so that rubs off on me. I care more about my education and working hard. I don't get lazy like a lot of people -- when I look at my parents, I realize that they're working hard, so I gotta do my part too.


Jessica Rosal: They've influenced me to be who I am -- like I said before, the major part of me is religion. That's the most important thing to me, because I know without that, I'd probably be doing drugs. They taught me that God doesn't like that and that it's important that He doesn't like it, and so they [my parents] don't like it.


Omar Trinidad: My dad influences me a lot -- I get a lot of characteristics from him -- the way I talk, sit on the couch, walk. His characteristics are innately in me. I take his flaws -- and I learn from it. I take his success and learn from it as well to be successfull as well. I learn how to use my mistakes to make me stronger.

From my mom, I learn never to give up and how to stay strong and how to be loving, caring, sharing and giving all the time. She always gives and gives and gives and gives.



What year are you at school? What's your hometown?

Chito Trinidad: I graduate 2004, I'm a sophomore at Gordon Tech. I don't work. I was born in Baguio City, Philippines. I'm 16.


Jessica Rosal: Senior at Glenbrook Evening School. I was born in Chicago, lived in Ohio for 6 years when I was four and moved back.


Omar Trinidad: Freshman at Triton College. I was born in Bahrain.