Ah . . . love online, it seems to be happening all the time. They chat, they meet, but what happens when you are afraid to reveal the real you in the real world. Mike and Veronica help a reader with this perplexing dilemma. Also, our fabulous advising duo gives some helpful advice to another reader who exclaims, "Help! I dumped a cheat but now his fling won't stop harassing me!"

Advice: On the Other Hand
by with Advice Columnists Mike Tancredi and Veronica Gross

Dear Mike and Veronica,

I met this wonderful guy online. We have been chatting for over a year now. We have a lot in common and I have come to think of him as one of my closest of friends. We have talked over the phone several times and no red flags come up that he may be some �psycho net murderer.' He says he wants to meet me in person and he tried to get me to exchange photographs. I refused and offered up some lame excuse why I didn't want to send mine, like I didn't have a scanner. He sent his photo anyway. He was a very nice looking man (way out of my league). After I saw his picture, I could not help but feel that I was not only wasting my time but his too. Right now, we are just friends but from our conversations I can tell it could develop into much more if there was a physical attraction for each other there. He probably has visions of some Pamela Lee look alike in his head but I look more like someone ate Bette Midler's face and then threw up. I had to come to terms that I was no beauty along time ago. I am 23 years old and I have gone on one date my entire life. It was a blind date that ended shortly because �an emergency suddenly came up' and he had to leave early. I never heard from him again. Do you know how hopeless that makes a girl feel? So, he wants to meet me and I am very hesitant with good reason. I don't want him to be too disappointed when he sees that I am no Pamela Lee or even an average looking girl. Should I shut him down completely or just let the cards fall where they may?

Sincerely,

An Ugly Girl

Mike Says... Veronica Says...

Dear Mike and Veronica,

I started dating this guy six months ago. He was nice and wonderful and we became intimate after a while. About four months in, I get a call from this chick telling me that she is also dating this guy and they are intimate too. I was shocked. I was under the impression that he was only dating me or I would not be sleeping with him. I inquired how the girl got my telephone number and she told me that she broke into the guy's email and read all of our letters to each other and my phone number just happened to be in one of them. Again, I was shocked. Well, I began to distance myself from this guy and stopped talking to him altogether. For some reason, he didn't ever ask me why I didn't want to associate with him any longer and I thought that was odd. But I let it go and tried to start over. I am an avid chatter and have a lot of friends online and soon starting chatting with this new guy. We chatted for a few weeks and became very friendly. However, I noticed that he was always interested to know what I did on the weekends and who I was with and wanted to know lots of details. It made me a little suspicious. Then one day out of the blue the two-timing cheater that I dated called me and told me that the chick that busted on him was pretending to be this new guy I had been chatting with and he wanted to warn me. He told me that she was trying to make sure I wasn't still dating him and that he just found out she was doing this to me. I wasn't very surprised by his revelation and it did confirm a lot of my suspicions. The next time I talked to the new guy/chick, I confronted her and told her I knew who she was all along. She became upset that I found her out and started acting very badly. Again, the phone calls started but I just let the answering machine get it. I figure she will get the message eventually. Is there anything else I can do to stop this madness? (short of a restraining order) It seems very juvenile to me and I just want to get on with my life. Help!

Sincerely,

Being Stalked

Veronica Says... Mike Says...

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