Your ex's current bed-mate is clearly unstable. Your task is to get yourself out of the line of fire. It is unlikely that talking to her will resolve any problems since it sounds like she is insanely jealous regardless of your actions. You stopped sleeping with and talking to your ex. You've told her that you were no longer seeing your ex. For most people, that should be enough.

Restraining orders and no contact orders are assigned either by a criminal court or a civil court. The laws vary but there are usually provisions that need to be met, such as living together for three years or having the person commit a crime. A restraining order can be obtained if the applicant feels a significant risk exists outside of these parameters, but it is quite difficult and expensive. It is unlikely you would succeed in getting a restraining order against this woman until she actually causes you or your property physical harm. In addition, the restraining order is just a piece of paper; it only works as long as the person you are restraining respects and obeys the law. Given her current state of mind, that probably isn't the case, so it wouldn't do much good anyway.

If you want to get this woman away from you, it will require changing your behavior. She knows your Internet names and habits. Choose new names that do not resemble your previous handles. Don't put pictures in your descriptions. Don't put down your home city, phone number, exact job location, etc. Use a Hotmail-type account instead of your work email. Be more selective in who you strike up conversation with. If someone you are talking with starts getting too personal and too inquisitive, confront him and see what happens.

This woman also knows your email address and telephone number. Should she send harassing email, forward it with the headers to her Internet provider. They usually have an anti-spam/anti-harassing unit and are usually happy to terminate accounts if abuse can be shown. You may also consider getting a free email account and using it on the 'net, saving your more permanent work and home accounts for your close friends only. As for the phone calls, record the time that she calls. Use *69 to trace the number if possible. Then, submit that record to your phone company. They can block all calls from that number or help you if the harassing number is unlisted.

If the harassment continues and you feel you are in physical danger, consider involving the authorities; having emails or phone records will bolter your case. Check to see if stalking is a crime, for in many states it is not. Your best bet is to stay on the defensive and she will eventually tire of toying with you, especially if you don't respond or talk to your ex.

Sincerely,

Veronica