You ever kissed a frog? I mean, walked down to your local neighborhood pond, puckered up and laid a wet lickery kiss on a slimy amphibian? You haven't? Oh, I bet you have. I bet you've gone to dinner with frogs, taken frogs out to movies and, dare I say it, I bet you've slept with a frog. You may have even liked it. Then one morning, or one evening, depending on your personal preferences, you rolled over and realized you had frog slime on your pillow, and you thought…but wait, "if I loved this person enough, they were supposed to become a princess/prince."

Kissing Frogs
by Jennifer Lofquist

We've all been lured into this dangerous pastime of believing frogs are princes (or princesses) in disguise. Some people call it "co-dependent." Some call it "hopeful." I call it a waste of time.

Not that I myself am innocent of the kissing frog thing. Hell, I even married a frog. After over three years of marriage, he never once became a prince or even gave me a kingdom to rule jointly over. Because at the end of the day, he was a frog. Just a frog.

I'm not saying frogs can't become wonderful human beings. They can. They just don't need kisses to do it. They need to stand in front of the mirror and think "I'm a frog, and I want to be a prince. I'm going to change for me." Unfortunately, most frogs think they are already princes and princesses and so they don't see a reason to change. They really do see the crown, the kingdom and the nice throne, and they will never understand why you don't.

For those of you who saw South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut, think of the big dance scene with Saddam dancing around Satan singing "I can change." We all laughed, but have you seen some of the showstoppers some frogs put on when their partner demands some changes? They'll sing, dance, woo your heart. They'll do everything…but change.

It's because they can't, not for you. Change is an internal mechanism. If a person (or a frog) really doesn't believe that they have to change, what reason do they have for doing so? They don't see the point, but they'll placate you, they'll woo you, they'll promise you the moon and the stars—and they'll remain frogs.

We all change. For the better, for the worse, but it's because we want to be different. We want to be better, not for someone else, not for our mom, our friends, but because of us. And if the change doesn't come from within, it's not going to last. Frogs have to see themselves as they are and want something different.

You can't make someone accept that they are a frog—they won't believe you. Once they admit they are a frog however, you can be there, support them, and help them. All without letting them get away with being a frog in an oversized crown—and without getting warts on your lips.

If you're looking for love, keep an eye out for the prince walking alone out of the pond, whose feet are still a little slimy. He's the one who's the real catch.

~~~~~

Jennifer Lofquist is a freelance writer and Gen ‘Xer in Sterling, Virginia. In 2001, she married "the Beloved," bought a house, and supposedly became an adult, though many of her friends would disagree. Her interests are writing, history, cooking, crafting, and her cat Jasper. She is convinced that she would have been able to make Henry VIII a happily married man.

Disclaimer:The expressed views and the opinions of any content/columns/articles within Gx Webzine is not neccessarly the expressed views and opinions of Gx Webzine. All information provided on this site is offered 'as is', without warrenty. All authors/columnist are responsible for their own articles/columns and Gx Webzine is unaware of any acts of unlawfulness and/or plagerism. If plagerism is found within the content of Gx Webzine, the author of the article/column will be responsible for any legal action that maybe taken by the original author of the content and Gx Webzine will be held blameless thereof.