“Who wants to be first?” asks RJ.

 No response. 

 After a pause that seem forever, Julian breaks the silence, “How is this going to work?”

 “I guess I’ll give you and Rick a haircut.  And you can give me a haircut,” responds RJ.

 “That's fine for you," says Julian with a chuckle, "but maybe I should give Rick his haircut.”

 “Well, we’ll see,” responds RJ.

 "No, what's to see," says Julian.  "I want to give him haircut."

"No, I think its better if I do it," responds RJ.

Hey what about me!  Maybe I want some say in this too,” I interject.

"You?  Who do you want to cut your hair?" asks RJ.

"Yeah, don't you want me to do it this time?" asks Julian.  "He always does it."

"Look, I don't know.  I don't want to disappoint either of you.  Why don't you each tell me how you would propose to cut it and then I'll decide," I respond.

"How we PROPOSE to cut it," says RJ sarcastically.  "Oh, so now you want to not only pick the barber but decide the haircut too."  He sounds more than a little irritated and impatient.  "When you e-mailed me you said that you wanted me to be in control and give you a short haircut.  Now you're changing all that."

"I don't know," I stammer.

"I'll cut your hair how you want," offers Julian.  "If you want short, I cut short, but if no then no."

 I don't know.  Can't you two agree.  Flip a coin or whatever.  Or maybe one can decide the haircut and the other can cut it.  Or take turns.  I don't know," I say in frustration.

 Julian gestures to RJ and they walk out of the room to confer.  I couple of minutes go by and I hear them talking but I can't hear what they are saying.  I get kind of nervous about what they are talking about and what they might decide.  Then I hear them both laugh and that makes me extra nervous.  They come back into the room.

 "Are you ready?" asks RJ.

 "I guess, but what did you decide?" I inquire.

 "You'll see.  Just leave it to us," responds RJ.

 "Sit down," says Julian firmly.

 I sit in the kitchen chair.  In front of me is a mirror which I had moved from the bedroom and hung on the kitchen wall in preparation for the haircut.  RJ places some tissue around my neck and snaps the cape around me.

 RJ runs his hands through my hair a couple of times and massages my neck and sides to relax me. Then he steps to the side, picks up a spray bottle and sprays the sides and back until they are wet.

 Julian is leaning against the kitchen counter watching as RJ does this.  Julian starts to examine RJ's electric clippers.

 "Use the one that's on the right," RJ says.

 Julian picks up the clippers and fiddles with the blades in the box and attaches one to the clippers.

 Then RJ picks up a comb, stepping in front of me, which blocks my view in the mirror.  He sprays some water on the top of my hair with one hand and combs it with the other.  Then he places the spray bottle down and combs the hair around my part forward.  Then I feel him making a crisp, clean part with the comb and his hand.

 As he is doing this, Julian steps behind me holding the clippers.

 RJ lifts my chin up with his hand as he combs and pushes the front of my hair to the side and slightly back.  Then he puts his hand on top of my head and tilts my head down.

 "OK," he says. I hear the clippers click on and hum noisily.  I feel the clippers at the back of my neck and Julian's hand on my shoulder.  He runs the clippers up the center of my neck all the way to the top.  Then he makes another pass with the clippers, slightly to the right of the first pass.

 All the while RJ stands in front of me holding my head into position for Julian to buzz me down.  Julian again runs the clippers up my neck again and again, working around to the right and all the way to the top.  Then he starts working around to the left side.

 I can't tell how short he is buzzing it.  The air feels cool on my neck.  But I can't see how much hair is coming off.

 RJ releases his hand from my head.  "Which blade are you using?" he demands.  I hear urgency in his voice.

 "The number 1," replies Julian.

 "No, no, no.  I said use to use the one on the right.  The one that's in the box on the right," exclaims RJ.

 "Yeah, the one," responds Julian.

 "No, not the NUMBER one.  I said the one on the right.  It's a #3," reproaches RJ.

 "No I think you say use number one," says Julian.

 "This isn't going well," I think to myself.  I instinctively reach out from under the cape and touch the back of my neck.  All I feel is close stubble.  I run my hand up my neck to the top.  All I feel is stubble all the way on the whole back of my head.  "Let me see in the mirror!" I exclaim.

 I jump up and look in the mirror hanging on the wall.  From the front I can't see anything.  So I take the hand mirror from the counter and hold it up to the back.  I can see the skin through the remaining stubble all on the back of my head up to the top.

 "Yow, that's short!" I blurt out in surprise.

 "Well, you don't have to worry about this haircut not being short enough." says RJ.  "It's definitely going to be short enough."

 "It's going to be too short," I say.  The blood is rushing to my head. 

 "Nonsense," says RJ.  "It'll be short, but not too short.  It will look very sharp."

 "I'm sorry," says Julian.  "I didn't know.  I think it's going to look very like in military, short.  Nice."

 "It's OK," I say, sitting back down, even though I'm not sure it IS OK.  I start thinking about how its going to end up looking and what my partner will say when he comes home.  And what people will say at work.

 "The best thing to do now is to use the number one on the sides too and take the top down nice and short too," RJ says, stroking the top of my head with his hand.

 "Well, don't make the top any shorter than you have to," I say defensively. 

 "It's gotta be in balance.  We'll see.  You said in your e-mail you wanted it short anyway, didn't you?" RJ responds.  "So that's what you're getting ... a nice, short haircut."

 "I just thought I'd have more choice about it," I say.

 Julian runs his hand up the back of my neck.  His warm hand against my neck is calming and arousing at the same time.  "That feels really good," I say.

"Good.  It feels nice all buzzed," says Julian.  "I like it."

I settle back and start to relax a little more, waiting for the haircut to continue.

Two Barbers Part IV coming soon...