jc
Monday, Dec. 29th - Completely Random Old Photo Day!
1955: a slow year for beautiful steel bridges
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Sunday, Dec. 28th - With little else to occupy me on an unusually pleasant December day in NYC, i set out on a bike ride today, ending up in Roosevelt Island for the first time in a few years. Dependably, little of it has changed since last time i went around with the old camera. And just like last time, i tooled around taking pictures (trying very hard not to take the same ones i took 3 years ago) and looking for a decent place to get a beer (still none). There is one major difference though, and that is, the south end of the island is finally open to the public, in the form of a "park." That forbidden part of the island, consisting of an abandoned mental hospital and little else, has always mystified me. Creepy, alluring stuff. So, you can imagine how happy i was to stumble upon this new attraction. And the best part is, rather than spruce the area up in any way, they basically just opened a gate and said "here you go!" Patchy grass and dirt, steep muddy hills, forboding three foot fences and a better view of the shelled-out mental hospital. And, this big empty field you see below, about half a football field in size, with two lawn chairs and an abandoned wheel chair. How did that get there? Is it some sort of esoteric 9/11 memorial? Or did it just happen? The mysteries of Roosevelt Island.
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Tennis, anyone? |
Dec. 18-25: Carstensen @ Denver
Sunday, Dec. 14th - Big excitement on Freeman St. today ...
... as there is a music video being shot on my snowy block. That's the craft services van parked up in the middle there, and that trailer to the right, just in front of my doorstep, with the sign (that you can't read) reading Talent, well that's (presumably) where DJ Kayslay and The 3-6 Mafia are esconsed for the shoot. Kayslay, as you may not know, is famous for such future rap classics as "I'ma Smack this Muthafucka" and "I Never Liked Ya Ass." Welcome to Greenpoint, Mr. Slay. Actually, i didn't get a look at him, but right after i took that picture, a woman with a HUGE afro exited the Talent Trailer. So, i like where that's going. Plus, as i was walking back inside, i heard a poor PA shouting, "yo, can i get a hot chocolate for Kayslay?" Anyway, look for this new joint to blow up, because the last video shoot i passed, with Karen on a sunny day in Southside Williamsburg, was that of Kelis and "My Milkshake Brings all the Boys to the Yard." I love that song. Maybe i'm a good omen.
And, actually, i should really get in the habit of bringing a headset around in my bag with me. I kinda look like your average PA, and every time i pass by a shoot, i can whip on the headset and hit the craft services van, maybe get a coffee and a panini. What an exciting town to live in.
Okay, as promised ...
The story here: i met up with Alan (ex- of Pop-Up Video for those of you just joining us) for an after-work drink on Friday night. Alan had in his bag my surprise xmas present, none other than a DVD of the 1959 version of Journey to the Center of the Earth starring Pat Boone. Thanks, Alan! As fate would have it, earlier in the day, a co-worker was cleaning out her desk for an impending move to a different floor, and shouted out "who wants my cowboy boot mug?" and i chimed in quickly. So, i packed it in my bag to take home, but after this act of generosity from Ft. Worth, TX native Alan, it seemed only fitting that he should be the recipient of what turned out to be on closer examination a very club-footed cowboy boot mug. Of course, the best part: the bartender filled it with beer for free. The holiday season at its best, right there.
Lastly, the lastest entry (or entree) into the Stephen M. Pride Memorial Food Photo Gallery. This stunning work was conceived by Karen Corrêa, using my the beans, rice and fried plantain sides from my delicious Spanish pork chop special at Bonita. Tell me if it reminds you just a little bit of Mr. Bill.
Saturday, Dec. 13th - I may put across that i'm a much bigger sports fan than i actually am. I was when i was younger, before i discovered girls and rock music. Now, as a rule of thumb, i only really get interested in sports during their respective postseasons, with baseball being the notable exception. But, the college football Bowl season, that continues to fascinate me, just because there are so many bowl games with so little on the line (except 20,000 queing up in Memphis to see whoever's playing the Liberty Bowl this year). And, yet, in the wake of all these contests, they still can't decide who the best team is. Very strange. Anyway, as Jeff Mensch can attest to, i'm one of the worst gamblers in history. Therefore it is my great pleasure to give you the 1st annual ...
Dec. 18th - GMAC Bowl, Miami-Ohio (-13½) v. Louisville: Okay, so even though this is first on my list, and the 2nd Bowl game of the season (after the New Orleans Bowl), this is the last preview i'm writing, and i'm kind of out of angles. I mean, you'd think i could say something interesting about a GMAC Bowl. Didn't GMAC make the Eagle? No, that was GMC. See, i'm stumped. (Editor's note: it was actually AMC that made The Eagle. Oops.)But, probably unlike the College Bowl season itself, my picks will get better from here. In fact, rather than even betting on the outcome of this game, let's do something clever here like an under/over on the attendence. Dec. 18th, Mobile, AL. I'm saying it's 28,500, and i'll take the under. Next.
Dec. 22nd - Tangerine Bowl, NC State (-10) v. Kansas: Make that the Mazda Tangerine Bowl. Actually, Orlando's Tangerine Bowl is a surprisingly venerable event, dating back to 1947, when Catawba beat Maryville (TN) 31-zilch for the first of their two Tangerine Titles. There was a 20-year hiatus in the bowl, though, from 1982-2001. Kinda like Steely Dan. But, like the Dan now, it's back, and less exciting than ever, featuring a matchup of two teams with a combined record of 13-11. I'll take the Jayhawks, 200 sirignanos.
Christmas Day - Hawaii Bowl, Hawaii (-10½) v. Houston: The day Las Vegas plays Santa Claus. Point spreads, you see, are kind of like commodities, in that you tend to like to get in early before the game gets rich and risky. I mention this because i almost guarantee this spread is going up in the next week or two. Why? Because Hawaii gets to play in the HAWAII BOWL. How unfair is that? Who decided that? Like "okay, so you went 2-10 this year. But, you still get to play in the Hawaii Bowl. Because you're Hawaii. Someone's gotta do it. In fact, don't bother cleaning out your lockers just yet, boys. Congratulations." So, i'm sure everyone is noticing this very obvious home-field advantage and are going with the favorite. Then, WHAM, the fix is in, and the Rainbows lose by 20 points and someone gets very rich. So, take whoever they are playing and the points.
Dec. 26th - Insight Bowl, Virginia Tech (-3) v. California: Insight, eh? Well, i can tell you that the Hokies are entering this game in a bit of a spiral, losing 4 of their last 6 in the regular season. Plus, they may be reeling from the announcement by their vaunted Junior RB Kevin Jones (who gave the Tech almost 1500 yards on the ground in 2003) that he is planning on going pro next year. But, i'd look for him to make this Insight Bowl one to remember. As for the Golden Bears (7-6), they may just be happy to be there, making their first postseason appearance in 8 years. But, they do have one of the games premier passing offenses, ranked 2nd in the NCAA. So, look for that ol' scoreboard to really light up. Nonetheless, i look for the Hokies to end their season with their 9th win, so take Tech and the over (55).
Dec. 27th - Continental Tire Bowl, Virgina (-2½) v. Pittsburgh: Man, nothing conjures up frozen turf, the Gipper, leather helmets, "Crazy Legs" Hirsch, and all that rah-rah pennet-waving effluvia like "the Continental Tire Bowl." Makes one nostalgic for the Blockbuster Bowl. Remember those contests? Phew. Anyway, take the yinzers and the points, 'cause, you know, you gotta pick somebody.
Dec. 30th - Silicon Valley Classic, UCLA (-3½) v. Fresno St.: What? The word "Bowl" doesn't even appear in this contest? What a bunch of pompous crap. Besides, the term "classic" just tends to connote an "upscale" sandwich from a fast-food place. You know, like the "Big Bacon Chicken Classic." Now *there's* a game i'd watch. As for the real game, take Fresno St. and the 3½. I usually route for teams with the word "State" in their name. Especially in "Bowls."
Jan. 1st - Capital One Bowl, Georgia (3) v. Purdue: The Bowl Game that asks, "what's in your wallet?" I'd say a lot less money if you don't take Georgia. Georgia has the advantage here because their helmets look auspiciously like Packer helmets.
Jan. 3rd - Humanitarian Bowl, Georgia Tech (-8) v. Tulsa: Judging merely by the date, this is a very important game, preceded by all but this year's championship Sugar Bowl game. And you know it's huge because it's being played in Boise, ID. Can you imagine what the Humanitarian Bowl Parade must be like? Like a victory march of carnation-clad POWs newly liberated from the gulag. Besides, how about being a player on one of these teams, coming from 2500 miles away, after busting your ass all year, just thinking "yessiree, i'm goin' to BOISE! In January!" Nice work, boys. Go get 'em. Take home that Humanitarian Bowl Crown! Meanwhile, teams with worse records get to play in Hawaii. Man, college football *is* fucked up. Screw this.
Coming tomorrow: a picture of Alan Cross drinking beer out of a boot-shaped mug.
Friday, Dec. 12th - The morning (well, at this point, afternoon) after the Viacom Xmas Party, which is held every year at the Hammerstein Ballroom (normally the home of rock concerts). Free hooch and great food, dance music played at ear-splitting decible levels. Ken Ober was even there, to fill the celebrity quotient. The works. My critical error - my "Waterloo" if you will - was showing up at 9:30, after Denver Zest practice, and feeling like i had to get caught up with my already pickled co-workers. So, down went the hooch. I got caught up by 10, and took a commanding lead around 1, with the party still at full tilt. And, yes, i feel absolutely crappy, even though i ate a deli roast beef sandwich last night, and 2 bowls of cereal, before i went to bed, then another 2 bowls of cereal this morning, a huge orange juice and a black coffee, and now i'm awaiting 2 cheeseburgers from McDonald's. Wait, maybe *that's* why i feel so crummy.
But enough about that. Maybe i just need to familiarize you with my current state of mind right now, to put some more rambling in some perspective. Big Dave, one of my very oldest and bestest high school pals called just now, and told me he's going to be a dad. His tone of voice over the phone sounded like a grin. He's very excited, and obviously pretty floored. This was very unexpected. The mother is a former co-worker of his named Shae, who i met on my previous Xmas excursion to Denver. They've been dating on and off for i think 2 years? with various levels of involvement. It's been hard for me to keep track of, actually, as it has been for Big Dave at times. And so, now they are forced somewhat to define the nature of their relationship. Big Dave seems up to that challenge as well. You know, are you financially able to work it out (yes), are you going to get married (not sure), where are you going to live (probably not Five Points for much longer). They got the names out of the way, though: Zoe for a girl and Seth for a boy. I've always liked the name Seth, and i'm glad they haven't gone for the 'y' variation of Zoe, which is increasing in popularity, at least according to this handy graph. I'm tempted to pontifficate on friends having babies, about mortality or growing old, especially considereing how groggy i feel right now, but screw all that. I'm happy to have another opportunity to be an honorary uncle. It's what i was born to do.
I've never been fired from a job before. I'm getting a hunch that distinction is in serious jeopardy. No reason, just call it a hunch. I have yet to tell them about my impending trip to Denver, mainly because i assumed i'd be done with this damn project right now. So, maybe i'm projecting a little bit. Maybe i *want* to be fired. Okay, i do. I'm probably going to quit otherwise. Especially now that the holiday party is done. I'll miss the odd occasional celebrity appearances, though. Screech was in the Big 3-1 today. In fact, with nothing else to do at work today, i found myself next to a cardboard box with a bunch of flowery dresses for props. Naturally, i decided to slip one on, being the kind of guy who doesn't look all bad in a dress of course. And "Screech" passed by as i was fumbling with the wrong-side buttons. He whistled and i blushed. I'm not that kind of girl.
What a day. Can't say those burgers are sitting too well either.
2:20 pm - With nothing else to occupy me here at my occupation, two coworkers and i played MASH (although not that on-line version, but the old paper version). I confess i went my whole childhood without ever knowing about MASH, but i'm glad to have gotten caught up. As for my results: i apparently am going to marry one of my producers Emily, live in a shack, and raise our 4 children by driving my Volkswagon Thing to my job as a crab fisher, where i make a staggering $20 million per year. I can see it.
Thursday, Dec. 11th - I'd have to say i'm not that excited about the Mets signing Kazuo Matsui. Just call it a hunch - an uninformed one, at that - but this whole thing strikes me as being very "Shinjo Part II." Plus, it's very typically Mets to have finally have a bust-out season by a promising home-developed rookie (Jose Reyes), then make him switch his position for a splashy off-season acquisition. But, i actually bring all this up because - and i've been thinking about this for three days now - but for the life of me, i cannot remember who played Left Field for the Mets last year. Was it "Super" Joe McEwing? He was mostly at 2B, where Reyes will be playing. It wasn't Timo Perez (who took over for Shinjo in CF) and it certainly wasn't Roger "Iron Glove" Cedeno. Three days, and i refuse to look on Baseball Reference until i remember it.
And that reminds me of the time i couldn't remember Sonny Rollins' name the afternoon before he played that goofy Summer Stage show. Had to look that one up.
Wednesday, Dec. 10th - We start today with a missive from roomie. He left an excited message on my cell phone yesterday, paraphrased here:
"So, i just passed this Latin record store, and apparently, Julio Iglesias has a new record. And on the cover, Julio is standing there looking suave with a huge shit-eating grin on his face. And the record is called 'Divorcio'."
Carstensen Online regrets the error(s): Upon re-reading what i wrote yesterday, i realized that, in the morass of adjectives, i may have given the impression that it was Jesse (Fuchs) that was the target of the 86ed heckler at the open mic nite. This is not true, as it was not Fuchs but rather a shlubby real-estate agent/"comedian", in a tucked-in white shirt and darted pants, that beared the brunt of the heckler's ire. This is not to say that Jesse wasn't heckled, oh no. Just that the heckler was not the man stated above, but instead, me. Especially after the increasingly-reddening Jesse nervously yelled "line" after forgetting the first lyric to a song he wrote. Not that he didn't deserve it, of course; before we went on, the two of us were like the Waldorf and Statler of that evening.
I may have also given the impression that it was Abe Vigoda that used the descriptive term listed below for his nosehair, and not co-worker Byran. This sadly, isn't the case either. I'm giving myself the impression that i need to focus on clarity a little more.
Welp, time for another script meeting!
Tuesday, Dec. 9th (and updated below) - I often forget, amidst all of my unimaginative complaining about the Brazil-meets-Dilbert nature of my job, what heady times these are to be in the offices of "The One." I just passed Abe Vigoda in the hallway.
And now, without further ado, it's time for this week's "Photos Featuring Jews Named Jesse Playing Stringed Instruments."
An update: I spoke with a office-mate, Bryan, who interviewed Abe Vigoda up here in the Big 3-1. He said one of the first things Abe started talking about (in the elevator) was his nose hair. "Ah," Mr. Vigoda grumbled, apparently apropos of nothing, "usually the make up girl does it, but it hurts too much. I was working on a movie last year, and they started yanking them out and it killed me." Bryan then described one of Abe's most prominant nosehairs, which protruded right out of the tip of his nose, and curled downward. The exact word he used was "curbfeeler."
Abe also went into the story of how he was cast for Barney Miller. "They liked my look ..." he said without a trace of irony. "I looked tired and i looked like i had hemerrhoids."
And another update, a conversation taking place after a particularly unproductive 3 hour script meeting today.
Co-worker Jenny to Jens: Did you see a copy of [name omitted]'s notes taken from the meeting?
Jens (slightly concerned): No, did i miss something?
Jenny: Yeah. Doodles in red pen reading, 'HATE, HATE, HATE!'
I guess you're never alone.
And, as i took this picture last night, i was flanked by a homeless woman intently reading the menu in the window on my left, and the guy in the driver's seat of his livery cab playing solitaire on his laptop on the right. And so deep in thought about the then-absurd-seeming concept such as a French restaurant named "Chez Napoleon" that after taking the picture, i came with in an inch of accidentally walking into a tree. I should just come out and admit i'm not nearly as smart as i pretend to be.
Actually, strike all that. I just liked the sign. There.
Saturday, Dec. 6th - Today, instead of writing, i've posted a blurry picture of my girlfriend hula-hooping in my kitchen. Enjoy?
My poor roomie. We're essentially snowed in today, and he's starting to get a little cabin fever. He already asked me today whether i'd ever consider running a triathalon, and whether or not i've ever killed anyone. Then he spent about an hour trying to think of something to rhyme with "Sam Champion" and then said he was going to give himself another mohawk. Good thing there's a bass here, or it'd be a little dangerous. Of course, he just wrote a song that goes "tappy, tappy, tappers! I'm tapping like i'm kray-zeeee!" Eek. I suggested maybe he do this, but he didn't seem that excited about it. I myself think i'm actually going to try and brave the snow (there's well over a foot now) and see The Vitamen at the Luna Lounge this evening. Probably won't see you there, huh.
Thursday, Dec. 4th - Kontinuing Kronichles from the ol' Komedy Salt Mine. As was discussed last night with roomie, work does kinda kill my urge to write for the website. Which would make sense if i really did that much writing here. Mostly, i think it's merely the time logged in front of a computer that not only kills my urge to do it in my free time, but also takes away from my ability to be fascinated by the outside world. You know, like when i was unemployed all summer, and i dug writing about my lunch. My lunch is less exciting to me these days. A lot of things are i guess.
Writing for the sake of writing has been such a solid strategy in the past, and so i continue to indulge it here. I have recently been going about the brainless task of editing down all the old entries on the site (for the sake of storage space), often astonished at my previous willingness to find everything in my solipsitic worldview unbelievably interesting. And i now know not to complain about the picture quality of my new camera. Yeesh. In fact, i'm not sure why i've kept all that stuff up there. Maybe because it's already there, or maybe to remind myself that i used to be a really bad writer. You know, unlike now. Nonetheless, there is a funny turn of phrase or two, and a lot of things i would've forgotten about otherwise, so why not.
One policy i look forward to enacting is writing about things or people other than myself. Even i find that tiresome. I've already described my work setting on these pages. I haven't really done or experienced anything this week worth note. Well, there is one major exception to that: Martin Nienstedt is back in town. In Greenpoint, in fact. The two of us and Josh went out the other night, and Marty regaled us with tales of diggin' up fossils in a small, poor, Wal-Mart-less town in North Carolina, where weekends involved contriving ways to get away from co-archeologists, or playing the out-of-tune piano in the convention hall of the hotel. And then there was the flophouse where they stayed the first week, when Martin couldn't tell if the spots on the wall were blood. Things like that. You should ask him about it next time you see him. Needless to say, he's happy to be back, and i'm excited to see Hollow Rocket again.
Incidentally, the bar across the street from Enid's where we initially met, Matchless (what an awful name for such a nice bar), serves Captain Morgans and hot cider in pint glasses. A hot, tasty treat on a cold day that will get you messed up right quick. Recommended.
Yesterday's bizarre edict of the day: "We need you to write some VO (voice over) to try out some new voices. Make it bland." Uh, Roger. The urge to chuck it all, move away and write a book becomes increasingly overwhelming.
Phunny Phone Call of the week: Last nite, around 12:30, Mikey called my cell phone and asked what i was up to. I was asleep, but lied and said i was reading.
"You should come down to Boogaloo. Michelle is DJing."
"Oh yeah, is it fun down there tonight?"
(Laughs) "No."
So i went back to sleep.
Tuesday, Dec. 2nd - After a recent, lengthy discussion about families with Josh over hooch the other day, i decided to google my (biological) dad to see where he could possibly be, or what he's doing with himself these days. This article from '97 is the most recent item among the two things i found. Note that, in an ironic change of pace, good ol' pops is the ... er ... "plantiff." Thank heavens for step-parents.
Anyway, i really should be working, so here's some pictures ...
Highlights from the New Jersey State Aquarium, Camden, NJ
Actually, the *real* highlight was the outright bizarre 1:15 puppet show,
but those photos turned out crummy.
I love Hell's Kitchen, Part I
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 "Sure, i'd love a rose ... hello? ..."
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The newly inaugurated Joey Ramone Place, 2nd St. and Bowery, NYC
It bums me out that when i see this photo,
i think not whistfully of how great Joey and his Ramones were,
but how substandard my Nikon Coolpix 4100 camera is.
Ghetto Boat
