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So I wake up at seven a.m. and promptly translate an exchange of letters between Thomas Mann and Herr Doktor Professor Bonn, which letters describe the revocation of Herr Mann's honorary doctorate. Then I went to get cookies.

After that, I played Dragon Warrior and Grand Theft Auto and Goldeneye until about 4:30 in the afternoon, and I read about a third of Children of Dune. Then I watched the Simpsons and went to pick up my Mallet Imipolex G shirt. After such an exciting and suave day, the only way to end was of course to make love to a beautiful girl on a pile of cash in front of the Brandenburg Gate while drinking Dom Perignon 55 chilled to 36 degrees Fahrenheit. But, I didn't do that. I fell asleep fully clothed on top of the blanket on my bed.

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