TOMORROW'S APRIL
Chapter Four
Savior
The wind was picking up now- blowing tendrils
of Rose's hair all over her face. The bottom of her dress was clinging to the
railing, pressing against her legs as she gingerly climbed over it. Her hands
grasped the top rung fiercely, and she took one last glance over her shoulder,
before she turned, to face the churning water below. Her hands hung on each
side, threatening her as they swung- almost as though she had no control over
them at all. Her feet were situated into the bottom rung, and she darted her eyes-
below, to each side, searching for some sort of answer. The answer to why she
was here- again.
Hadn't Jack saved her from this? Wasn't she
supposed to be free? Eight years ago, her desperation had been caused by her
life, and the two people that dominated it. Now there was no Cal, no Ruth.
There were no chains to excuse her behavior- only the selfish need for Jack,
the loss that pained her heart. Rose knew what a hypocritical and ironic end
this would be- so cynical. Could she really kill herself, here, at the exact
place that Jack had saved her from? If he was watching over her, as she had
always thought, then wouldn't he be disappointed in her, angry? All that he
represented would be betrayed. But at the same time- Rose viewed the rest of
her life as a chore- only a daily struggle to make it without the person she so
desperately needed, and only a feeble attempt, each day, to make it count. Was
that worthwhile? It didn't seem to be-
So it would be so much simpler to end it, to
go to Jack now...to join him...Rose's mind churned over and over, as the cold
began to penetrate her thoughts. Until they were scrambled, lost- and she was
unable to distinguish between the sound the water was making, and the whisper
of her hair, as it flew all around her. Her hands were turning red from
gripping the railing so hard. Tears were running down her cheeks, sending
streaks of warmth all over her face.
The noises around her blurred, and she closed
her eyes, still dangling so dangerously from the back of the ship. Rose was
tempting fate, even if she was not aware of it...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Jack couldn't believe his eyes. And so he
closed them, hoping with all his might that the image before him would
disappear. But as he reopened them, and the figure was still present, his feet
began leading him toward her- the woman hanging from the railing.
Why was this being done to him? Was this
ship, this day not enough? Did God also have to stage this? Would he have to
reenact the rescue from eight years before, on a perfect stranger, only to be
reminded even more of the love, and loss, that had resulted from that night?
It was dark, and the lighting on this part of
the deck was dim. Jack walked forward, just making out the woman's hair- flying
wildly around her head. Just like Rose's had...
Jack, stop, he thought, you have to save this
person.
He crept up slowly, but still, the woman
showed no notice of him. The darkness reflected from her curls- and the red
began to shine through. Approaching more closely, Jack's eyes fluttered at the
sting of tears when he saw this. His pupils widened, and his hands
involuntarily reached out. His eyes searched her back, her simple gray dress,
her shoes wedged in so carefully- so similar, so much like...
He would know that figure anywhere, that hair
anywhere. But...how was it possible? It couldn't be...could it? Rose was
dead...that night...that freezing water. And why would she be here again, at
this horrible place that he'd saved her from, years before?
His mouth was dry, and for a moment, no part
of his body would move at all. Finally, he took one step forward, staring
intently at her head, as it thrashed back and forth, still oblivious to his
presence. He had to find out. And even if this wasn't Rose, and this was some
cynical act of fate, he owed it to her, to Rose...
"Don't do it." His voice cracked,
fading into the wind. It had been too low.
He raised his chin.
"Don't do it." This time it was
loud, and strong, despite the tears running down his face...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Don't do it."
Rose's head arched forward as a gust of wind
hit her neck and opened her eyes. A surge of cold ran through her back, her
ears, and the sound began to echo through her mind- bouncing back and forth
inside her brain, like warm hands caressing her head; all over. Like some great
omen, suddenly- there it was. The words she'd been waiting for inside her own
little world- the words she'd obviously willed into a strange reality. For it
seemed so real- Jack's voice, his cry, and as her cold hair swept over her
face, again and again, it felt almost as if he were touching her. From wherever
he was...trying to save her once more...
Rose's mouth opened, contorted, as her
reddened cheeks, sticky with dried tears, leaned even further into the night
air. The sound that left her lips as first was indistinguishable- only a shrill
shriek into the darkness- calling forth. But then, as Jack listened on so
intently, right behind her, her words were clear.
"Jack...Jack, please help me...I don't
really want to do this...I just, I just want you!"
Her voice, loud and hysterical, pounded unto
Jack's ears, until he was lost himself- lost in the memories, in the love he
carried inside of himself, for Rose...Frozen in space, and in time- traveling
back to a night not so long ago, when he'd first heard her cries. Silent then,
but now...could this really be her? His eyes, pools of blue, were staring,
motionless, at the back of her head. And then she moved- Her screaming ceased,
and she closed her eyes, bending her head to the side. Jack's heart leapt
inside his chest, out of confusion, out of joy, when he recognized Rose's profile.
It was her, alive and crying out for him....For a brief moment he felt
powerless, motionless- as if his own body were going to fail him. He felt his
own hands contort right in front of him, and it seemed as though his chest
heaved in one quick movement...and Jack was brought back into the reality-
Her fingers were clutching the railing,
threatening dangerously to let go. Jack knew in an instant, how little control
she obviously had over herself at the moment. He was forced to push his own
shock to the side, and concentrate on letting her know of his presence, without
surprising her too greatly. Her hands were freezing, he could see that- numbed
and wavering. Her eyes were still shut as he stepped forward purposefully,
trying hard not to cry anymore himself, as he saw the anguish on her beautiful
face. The face he'd dreamed about, the face he'd longed for.
His hands slid over her wrists gently,
strongly. Rose cried out once more at the touch, convinced that it was all a
dream. As she felt a warmth encompass her, she was sure she had gone mad. She
cringed, shifting her feet below, almost slipping.
"Jack..." Her voice was hoarse and
throaty, as she swallowed the cold.
Jack's whole body shook- his heart raced
inside his chest, as he took hold of her trembling waist. His fingers slid over
her stomach, and he leaned in, slowly, pressing his cheek against Rose's. He
felt her face tighten, then relax, pushing against his own.
"I'm right here Rose," he said
calmly, gently, keeping a strong hold on her, nervous as to her own reaction.
Rose's eyes fluttered open at his voice. It
seemed as though the other sounds receded, and all she could feel was the heat-
the heat of a body next to hers. She was suddenly aware of the reality- that
someone was holding her, and that strong arms encircled her waist. After a
moment, the voice registered so clearly. She turned her head, leaning back
against Jack, and brought her eyes up, gazing into oceans of blue that could
only belong to...
"Jack," she gasped hoarsely,
clenching her near- frozen fists.
"I'm right here Rose. It's okay."
His mouth, warm and soft, ran over her ear, soothing her raw shock. Her own
mouth opened silently, for she was unable to speak, unable to move. Was this
real?
His hands felt so strong, so safe, and Rose surrendered
to them- exhausted and in pure disbelief.
"Rose, you're going to have to help me
get you back over, okay?"
Rose nodded, removing her hands from the
railing, and attaching them to Jack's arms. As she turned, she gazed into his
eyes in amazement, and Jack smiled, rubbing his hands up and down her
shoulders, attempting to warm her.
"It's okay, Rose. Come on." Rose
felt like a small child, being lifted from danger, as Jack's hands went around
her back, pulling her. Her feet fumbled in the darkness, but she managed to
wrap her arms around his neck, with all of the strength she could muster.
Jack breathed into her neck, as he struggled
to bring her over. Her feet, at last, crossed over the top rung, and Jack
stumbled backward, nearly gasping at how tightly Rose was clutching him. They
fell together, oddly enough, just as before, into a heap upon the deck. He felt
Rose's body go limp against his own, and he pushed himself on top of her,
watching as her eyes closed. She had fainted.
Jack's heart raced and his temples throbbed,
enthralled in studying her face. He knew he had to get her inside, warm, but
his feet would not move from under him. His eyes seemed the only part of him
that would work- transfixed solely on Rose, and the sudden miracle of her presence-
His hand began to move, finding her shoulder,
and as a gust of cold air hit him, he was warned of the dangers of letting her
remain out here. He kneeled before her, slowly pushing his hands under her
shoulder blades, pulling her body toward his. She was as cold as ice, it
seemed. He supported the back of her head, positioning her in his arms, so that
he could easily stand up carrying her. His knees felt weak as he stood, but one
look at Rose's still face energized him, and only one thought swam inside his
head. All that mattered was making sure she would be alright- she had to be.
Jack took one deep breath, holding her tightly against him as he walked, his
movement smooth and quick. He could see her slow breaths in the night air, but
her eyes remained closed, and he could just make out the delicate veins of her
their lids.
He reached the stairway entrance, the closest
to him, and wedged the door open with his right foot, intent on reviving her as
fast as he possibly could. His vision blurred under the swift motion of his
feet, and for a moment, it all seemed like a dream again- Rose's pale face, the
long, wispy hallways before him. The ornate rugs, stretching along the way,
seemed almost to taunt him, laughing. But it wasn't a dream, and Jack's eyes
began to mist, as he sped up, clutching Rose with all of the strength he contained.
He felt the soft wool of her dress bore into his fingers, just as the door to
his cabin loomed into view- like a beacon of light-
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Sir! Sir..." Jack's face twitched
as he called nervously down the hall, to the steward heading in the opposite
direction. The man turned at the sound of Jack's urgent call, taking off into a
slight jog, back down the hall toward room B 34.
"Yes, may I help you?"
Jack's face seemed to be vibrating as he
spoke- the muscles in his neck throbbing with anxiety.
"Tea...hot tea. And some extra
blankets...please, now..." Jack sputtered, breathing heavily. The steward
looked curiously at Jack's state, before nodding solemnly, heading around the
corner briskly, in search of the items Jack had requested.
Jack sighed, and stepped back into his room,
leaving the door cracked, so that the steward would have no problem getting in.
He crossed the room, staring at Rose's weak form on his bed. Her breathing was
heavy now, and pained, it seemed. He sat down at her side, reaching up to feel
her forehead for the third or fourth time. She had no fever, and it seemed as
though the cold was leaving her, yet she would not awake. Jack had removed her
shoes and slid her under the heavy covers, bringing the blanket up to the top
of her neck. His hand shook as he leaned down, removing a single strand of hair
from her face. His eyes searched her for a moment, until he heard hurried
footsteps making their way down the hall. Jack stood up and approached the
door, just as the same steward entered, carrying a tray of steaming tea, and
several flannel blankets.
"Here you are, sir." The stout man
handed Jack the blankets, sitting the tray of tea on the table near the door.
He glanced over at the bed, and Rose- her head thrashing to the side.
"Is..." the man eyed Jack, "Is
your WIFE going to be alright, sir?"
Jack swallowed, only nodding toward the man's
insinuating remark.
"She fainted from the cold- I think
she'll be alright...thank you for bringing the..."
"Your welcome sir," the man began
to back away, his hand on the doorknob, "if there's anything else, just
let me know. There is a doctor on board." The small steward's dark eyes
were darting back and forth, between Jack, and the form on the bed. He appeared
ready to leave- almost guilty is some way. Jack quickly disregarded this,
turning back to Rose.
"Yes, thank you," Jack replied
quickly, reaching for the cup and teapot on the tray. He heard the door shut
behind the steward.
After pouring a cup of the steaming liquid,
he carried it over to the large bedside table, setting it down gingerly,
careful not to allow his jittery movements to cause a spill. His worried eyes
stared at her face, as he carefully leaned over her, grabbing the extra
blankets. They were warm and thick, and he unfolded them, piling them
excessively on top of her. All he wanted was to see her eyes- opened and
revived. He wanted her to see him, to know he was there with her-
His hands ran over her arms, under the
blankets, as a single tear rushed down his face. Seeing her like this, was
almost too much for him. Why had she been ready to jump, again? And what if he
had not been there, to save her once more?
Jack reached for one of her hands, rubbing it
briskly, failing in the attempt to fight back the stream of hot tears
threatening the corners of his eyes. The light from the glass lamp beside him
illuminated his face and the shadows of his crying- causing a pattern across
the shade.
He shifted once, moving in closer to Rose.
Maybe if she felt his presence, she would also feel his love, and awaken...
Jack took her hand, which he still held, and
brought it to his cheek ever so delicately, spreading her whole palm across it.
He continued to cry silently, his body rocking back and forth involuntarily.
His blue eyes were worried, full of concern, but most of all- anxiousness.
"Rose, come on, please...please, Rose. I
need you..." he whispered into the room, ignoring the baffling and uttering
of the people outside in the hall. He blocked the sounds out, running his fingers
over her soft hand. He could feel the warmth between them, even this way. And
the love that caused almost an electricity in the air around him, only added to
the impatience in his grasp.
"Rose, please, please..."