TOMORROW'S APRIL
Chapter Five
To Return
The dull glow of the lamp seemed to grow
dimmer with each second, as Jack's eyes swam with tears and worry. His hands
gripped Rose's more tightly with every moment, until his eyes clamped shut, and
his whole body shook with anxiety.
After a few moments, he opened them again,
slowly, and gazed down at her- trying to hold his wavering breath. His blue
eyes were locked on her, yet she did not move. His rough hands ran over hers
tenderly. She was warm now, and her cheeks seemed revived with their color, but
she would not awake. Jack began to worry that something serious was wrong- if
she had only fainted, it seemed as though she would have come to by now-
"I'll wait a few more minutes, then I'll
go get the doctor......just a few more minutes." Jack's thoughts were
scrambling inside his head, pressing against him. If she would simply wake up,
it would be alright- he was sure of that. "But what if she's disappointed
Jack? What if she doesn't want this? What...Stop.." he ordered himself,
shifting his body so that he sat on the very edge of the mattress. Since she'd
fainted, he'd already relived every moment they'd ever spent together in his
mind- twice it seemed. Through these years, those memories had been the ones to
keep him going, and now they were again- in such a different way. Now they
reminded of how desperately he needed her- how lonely these eight years had
been-
He took a deep breath, looking down at their
hands joined. Joined again. He had to do something-
Jack knew he would go crazy soon- having Rose
here with him, but not even being able to talk to her. He wanted to kiss her so
badly - tell her how much he loved her. And so he began talking- softly at
first, but then his voice strengthened, and he hoped with all of his might that
the love he was transmitting through his words would help to open her eyes-
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
To Rose it seemed as though she was in some
sort of tomb- she felt warm all over, almost hot. She could feel a roughness
against her arm, some sort of cloth, and a heat was falling on her face. Her
eyelids were stinging mildly, and all over, she felt a pressure. She could not
move her hands, nor could she even distinguish her legs from what felt like
layers, all around.
For a few moments, her senses were distorted,
and only a faint murmur of sound penetrated her ears. She could feel a warm
touch around her right hand, but at first did not recognize it as a hand. Her
memory was not helping yet, and her mind drew blank after blank. Where was she?
There were footsteps, strange sounds, almost muffled, coming from far away.
Her heart began to race rapidly, and finally
she felt her own breathing. She concentrated on a sound that seemed only inches
from her face. It was a voice. And she felt a connection between the weight on
her hand and the voice.
"........please, Rose, please..,"
it was saying, over and over. Rose please. Please what?
She felt an urge to move, to twist her legs,
but refrained, almost too scared, too weak. Please Rose please. She heard the
tender voice murmur it over and over. It was a man's voice- a man's voice. She
felt her chest heave in one quick movement, and her heart jumped.
"Rose....Rose...."
It was all coming back- so suddenly, so
vividly. The ship, the sound of her shoes against the deck......his words, his
arms.....It was Jack. Jack. But how was that possible? Rose's whole body seemed
to silence itself, and suddenly all she felt was his hand, holding hers,
rubbing it gently. Jack was holding her hand.
Jack was holding her hand. This couldn't be a
dream, could it? Or......she couldn't be..........had she jumped?
No, he stopped me.......he saved me
again.....
He was talking now- talking directly to her.
She held her breath, listening so intently to what he was saying- savoring
every sound that passed through her ears.
"Oh God, Rose.....it's my fault....my
fault for not finding you. I'm so lost......so scared. And when I saw you ....
on the back of a ship again...oh, why, Rose, why? I love you Rose........ I
love you, and I need you to wake up. I need you to tell me why."
Rose felt her eyes begging to be opened. With
all of her heart, she wanted to see his face- tell him that she loved him too.
But deep inside, she still felt like this was a dream. And if she opened her
eyes.....it would all disappear- again. His words made her heart soar- and the
gentle roughness of it soothed her like never before. She could tell he had
been crying-
It seemed so strange- that here he was, yet -
why was she so hesitant? So hesitant to let him know she could hear him, so
hesitant to stop his obvious pain? Pure disbelief ran through her veins, and
over and over, she could picture his face, feel his touch...
She felt her lips quivering, and her pulse
racing at the prospect of speaking to him. Her nerves began to twitch
violently, and for a second, it seemed as though she lost control of herself,
and allowed the shock to take over her entire being. But then she knew.....
"Jack," she croaked hoarsely, her
eyes still shut. Such emotion filled her voice- almost as if she were asking a
question. Jack felt his body go numb at the sound of her sweet voice- His eyes
studied her mouth, her cheeks, as her head darted from one side to the other.
Finally, a soft smile met his lips, and he leaned down, touching her face so
tenderly.
"Rose, I'm right here."
Her eyes fluttered open, widening in awe.
There were tears there now- and her hands, trembling, reached out blindly. All
she could see was his face- the face that had inhabited her dreams. The face
that was somehow, miraculously staring down at her, with the same shock. And
Jack's eyes- the beautiful oceans of blue that she'd always seen in every
sunset, were gazing into hers so stunningly. There was a moment of silence- as
each searched the other- making sure of the reality. The muffled sounds of the
hall seemed miles away to both-
Jack's hand cupped around her cheek, brushing
against it warmly. His face was expectant, but at the same time, so full of
love, of hope. The gentle smile on his face calmed Rose, and her lips moved,
soundlessly at first. Jack watched intently as she attempted to speak, and
moved his head down closer to hers, straining to make out the faint sound that
escaped from her mouth-
"How...." was all she could gather
the strength for. The heat of the blankets around her felt so restraining.
Jack's lips curved into an almost wistful expression. His eyes moved over her,
and her breath shuddered in amazement. Finally he spoke, never taking his gaze
from her-
"I found you Rose....the back of the
ship. I didn't believe that it was you at first......," his own voice cracked,
and a single tear slid down his face, unnoticed, "but it was....Rose,
Rose...." He slid his head down, until his forehead touched the flannel of
the blanket that covered her chest. Rose closed her eyes to the emotion,
breathing in the scent of his hair, of him. She felt so confused, but at the
same time- so joyous, so amazed. Her hand moved slowly from her side, coming to
rest on his back. For the first time since she had awoken, she felt the reality
of HIM. The warmth of his back sent her heart racing again-
"Jack, Jack. It's really you.....it's
you, Jack...." She whispered into the air, clutching him. She felt his
body pressing against hers, and the faint rustle as he lifted his head. And the
pools of blue were staring into her again. His face was tearstained and
reddened from the roughness of the blanket, but to Rose it still seemed the
most glorious image on earth. She smiled at him, moving her hand from his back
to his head, caressing his hair softly.
"It's me," he murmured to her,
shifting so that he could see her better. His eyes were so deep-Rose wondered
if she'd ever be able to read all the emotion, all the passion that were
contained in them.
His hand once again found her face, and he
stroked it gently, his heart pounding with all he wanted to say.
"Oh, Rose....."
"Jack, I...I don't understand
anything....but.....you're here.....you're here. I heard you talking- before I
woke up, I heard you whispering to me, Jack..."
His face turned even more serious, and his
mouth moved in thought.
"I don't understand either, Rose. All I
know is that we are here- both of us. And that everything you heard me say,
Rose," several strands of hair fell in his eyes as he leaned down, so she
heard every word he uttered, "was true. That's something you never heard
me say Rose- but I'm saying it now."
He paused, and Rose held her breath,
relishing in the love that radiated from his gaze, his voice.
"I love you Rose. I've loved you since
the moment I saw you. I've loved you for eight years. And I always will."
He stated firmly, thankful to finally be able to tell her that. Jack searched
her eyes for some sort of response. The vibrancy he remembered, the fire,
seemed to be surfacing once again, and Rose smiled, bringing her other hand to
his face.
"Jack, I love you too. And for eight
years, I've.....oh, Jack....." Suddenly, she pulled both of her hands to
her face, covering it, as a stream of fresh tears fell. Jack hesitated only a
moment before taking her into his arms, grasping her tightly. The blankets that
surrounded her fell, and he pulled her even closer to his body, crushing her
against him. He savored the warmth, trying with all he had to calm her. He
moved his mouth to her ear, whispering gently to her. Eventually, she dropped
her hands once more, and they fumbled against his chest almost shyly, her
delicate fingers seeming indecisive.
"It's okay, Rose. When I first
realized...well, realized that you were alive....I..I almost lost control. But
I couldn't- you were slipping Rose, slipping so quickly...." He pushed her
chin upwards, so that their eyes locked. His face inched closer to hers, and
his lips parted ever so slightly. Just as they made contact with her own, she
flinched, rolling her head to the side. Jack's eyes stared blankly at her
distraught profile, as an almost dejected pain ran across his heart and came to
rest in his eyes. This wasn't supposed to happen.
"Rose?"
Her chin quivered and she turned to face him,
still in his tight embrace.
"I'm scared, Jack. I'm.....I'm afraid
that this can't be real......can't be happening. I'm sorry....." She
buried her head in his chest, and his hand ran through her curls, over and
over.
"Rose....Rose. This is real, I promise,
I promise. Just please, don't be scared of me....."
"I'm not scared of you, Jack," she
whispered into his shirt, "I've prayed for this moment for so long, that
it just seems like a dream.....I'm scared that I'll just wake up......and...and.."
"And what?" Jack murmured into her
ear worriedly.
"And I'll lose you......all over
again."
"Oh, Rose...." Jack's hands ran
over her back, her head. Gently, he tipped her forehead and kissed it. Rose's
face crumpled with tears, as the warmth of his mouth touched her skin. It was
the same feeling- the same feeling she'd thought she would never experience
again. The electricity, the comfort she'd always associated with Jack, had not
wavered at all. She didn't know whether to laugh, or scream, or cry even more.
The pure joy that was entering her system, that had been awakened by his touch,
seemed ready to explode inside her. She pulled on his neck, bringing him as
close as she could. Jack felt the tenseness leave her grasp, and could make out
her breath relaxing, as well as her body. He smiled to himself-
"This is real, isn't it, Jack?"
Rose smiled gently into his chest, and then pulled back to look at him. There
was a light in his eyes- the same light she remembered. His mouth curved into a
little laugh, and she gazed up at him with hope shining brightly in her own
eyes.
"Eight years, Rose....it's been eight
years, but right now I feel like we've never been apart."
"We've never been apart, Jack.
Never," she stated proudly, positioning herself in his arms, so that her
face was on the same level as his. Her hand came to his face, and she sighed,
staring at him for a moment.
"You want to know why, I know, Jack. Why
I was there again, on the back of the ship......"
"Shh...Rose," Jack silenced her,
placing his forefinger on her lips. With his other hand, he gently brushed away
several strands of her soft hair near her eyes. In those eyes, he saw such an
intensity, such a depth. He did wonder why she had been ready to jump once
more, and he was sure the answer was somewhere in those eyes. But right then,
in that precious moment, all that mattered was the fire and the beauty in them-
the dreams that had always been there. Eight years before, when he'd met her at
the bottom of the grand staircase, he'd seen himself reflected in her eyes. And
looking now, he still did. He was still there- the Jack Dawson she knew-
"You are more beautiful than ever,
Rose."
She smiled expectantly. He continued-
"Rose, we'll talk about all that. We'll
figure out all that....together. But right now, I just want to look at you,...
to tell you the truth." He smiled back at her. It was that look- the look
that made her weak and breathless. Nothing had changed.....
"Me too, Jack. I just......I love you
Jack. I....well..."
"What is it, Rose?"
"Will you kiss me now, Jack?" She
said this softly, almost shyly. Her cheeks turned a soft shade of pink, and
Jack grinned, inching his face close to hers.
"Finally....," he murmured as he
pressed his lips passionately against her own, pulling her toward him. Rose ran
her fingers over his neck, through his hair, deepening the kiss, giving him all
the strength she had. The desire and the passion she felt, could only come from
him-
The lamp over the bed illuminated the two
forms and the deep kiss. Rose's clothes were wrinkled and rumpled, her hair
spread wildly over her shoulders, and the stains from the tears shed shone in
the light. Yet the weakness, the vulnerability, and the loneliness she'd felt
only hours before, had vanished. In it's place was the return of hope, the
return of the love she so desperately needed- the return of Jack-