AFTER STARTING ANEW
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Ruth’s Journal
August 25, 1938
Rose and Jack arrived home from Europe last night.
They came by taxi from the station and stopped here first. They both looked
tanned and rested. I think that the stresses of the past years have taken a
toll on both of them and this vacation was something they really needed. We
have all had so many things to deal with, but for Rose and Jack it has been one
thing after another starting with the war. I had to smile when Rose gushed over
like a fountain, trying to describe the events of three weeks in their
fifteen-minute stop.
She kept exchanging little glances with Jack
and I am almost sure that they may have fallen in love all over again. Once in
awhile there were gaps in her conversation and I would imagine that they
enjoyed many private moments on this trip. Even Arthur who does not speak much
these days had the old look of laughter in his eyes as he watched this
remarkable couple. I only wish…
Well, what is the point of wishing? I have to
face reality. Arthur is too ill now to travel and I must accept that. But we
have had some wonderful times. Beautiful memories that will certainly last the
rest of my life. If only I’d had the courage to go to Europe once more.
October 2, 1938
The train was so late getting into
Washington, but Rose and I managed to find a taxi even though it was well past
midnight. We actually awoke Edy and Nils when we arrived at their apartment.
They had just assumed that we would not be coming until the next morning.
October 5, 1938
We had a lovely tour of the city this
morning. Arthur has once again used his influence and arranged for us to have a
private tour of the White House in the afternoon. Mrs. Roosevelt’s secretary
took us around and by the time we were done, Eleanor herself had arrived home.
We had tea with her and FDR. They are such interesting people. Both of them
praised Cora for her work at the Warm Springs Foundation. We were not surprised
to hear that she is one of the most beloved counselors during the summer camp
programs. I think FDR has big plans for Cora once she receives her degree. When
it was time for us to leave the White House they both asked what had impressed
us the most. I had to say that Lincoln’s bedroom certainly topped my list. Rose
said she loved the East Room. Mostly because she said she could really feel the
spirits of all the people who had lived there before. It was a room filled with
both joyous and sad memories for our country. I dare say that before history is
done writing itself, that room will see many more tragic and glorious days.
October 8th, 1938
The trip to visit Edy and Nils was over much
too quickly and here I am again in a jerking, swaying Pullman car writing this.
Edy looks so well and happy. She loves her job teaching second grade. Many of
her students are the children of foreign ambassadors and so all of them have a
wonderful opportunity to learn about the cultures of the world. Nils is so
intelligent and sometimes his head seems lost in his physics. However, Edy
apparently has learned to speak his language of science and they understand
each other perfectly. Their apartment is very small, but they have done a very
nice job decorating it. They have blended in the colors of Edy’s beloved
Colorado with bits and pieces of Nil’s Danish background.
I’m afraid that this trip had tired me
greatly. Rose worries about me all the time. I know that. I apparently am not
hiding this too well from her. My heart seems to skip a beat now. That is when
I start to feel dizzy. And if Rose worries about me, then I worry about Arthur
even more. He has lost so much weight and cannot walk, not unless he uses his
cane. Both of us used to be so alive, so vibrant. Now I fear that slowly we are
becoming a burden on our family.
New Year’s Day, 1939
What a wonderful feeling it was this morning
at breakfast to be totally surrounded by every member of our family. Edy and
Nils, Frank and Margie, Cora, Patrick, and Molly. I looked from one face to
another seeing the likeness of Jack and Rose or a combination of all of us in
my grandchildren. What a magnificent feeling of continuity that is. I would
like to one day soon see great-grandchildren. I suppose though with the country
just barely getting on its feet with this Depression, it might be a couple of
more years. Of course Patrick is too young and Molly has no young man just yet.
I know Cora talks about someone named Matthew. She insists that he is just a
friend. Time will tell. Rose and Jack still seem to be enjoying the vitality
left over from their summer trip. I can see the pride in their eyes when they
survey their brood. And proud they should be. All of their children succeeding,
following their dreams. I was thrilled to have all of them here this morning.
Arthur’s condition has worsened and I knew he would not be able to get out in
this weather. He tries so hard, but tires so early. I hate the thought of
having to hire a night nurse, but when he needs help dressing and getting up,
it is getting to be too much for me.
May 20th, 1939
Another landmark day for the Dawson family.
Frank graduated from law school today. I could not be with the family, but Rose
and Jack, along with Frank and Margie stopped by here on the way home from the
ceremony. Throughout the afternoon both Arthur and I kept looking at the clock,
exchanging comments on what must be happening. Was it time for the
processional? How was the speaker? Did Rose and Jack get good seats? I even
read the graduation announcement a few times over. It saddens me that this is
the first of such events in our family that we have not been able to attend.
Frank looks so much like Jack did when I first met him. It is absolutely
uncanny. Today though he had a more serious demeanor. I think he was trying to
practice his professional behavior.
Marjorie was absolutely beaming with pride.
In fact there was an almost secretive look to the glances she and Frank shared.
I wonder.
July 4th, 1939
Cora’s 21st birthday. Can it really be all
that long ago that we spent an uncomfortable afternoon in the hospital with
Rose, while she struggled through her labor without Jack? We all wondered that
day if he would come home to see his new daughter. And then there were those
long hot days in the summer of 1932 when the dear child was stricken with
polio. When people see her now they almost forget that she walks with two
lightweight canes. She wears soft muted colors and her clothes are cut in the
simplest style. Her long honey-colored hair hangs in gentle curls around her
face and she uses a delicate shade of lipstick that enhances her perpetually
tanned face. All in all she looks full of fun and vitality. Your eyes are drawn
right into her smile and you forget everything else. She has taken her life and
made it into what she wants. Luckily she had a family who backed her all the
way. There are so many poor souls who were afflicted with polio who sit begging
on the streets. People who have neither the support that Cora had or the will
to live the life they were cheated from. Rose and Jack and the children brought
hampers of food over and we had our Fourth of July picnic here on our terrace.
Maria Lopez absolutely outdid herself with a special cake for Cora. It was a
delicious meal and I was thrilled to see Arthur take seconds of everything.
Today he really seemed to be his old self for a few hours. I know he was
putting forth a tremendous effort, but everyone really enjoyed seeing him this
way. Perhaps with the warm weather his health will rally a bit.
When they left to go and see the fireworks,
Arthur and I sat on the terrace, watching the sky ourselves. He took my hand
and in the dark I could almost imagine the magical days and nights of our early
courtship. How lucky I have been.
August 30, 1939
I really thought that last night Rose and
Jack were going to strangle Patrick. That boy has been a trial to both of his
parents since he was born. I know Rose loves him as she does all her children,
but she has on several occasions whispered to me that if he had been the first,
he would have been the last. It was about nine at night when Rose called and I
could tell by her voice that she was more than exasperated with her son. And
deeply troubled as well. It seems that Patrick and several of his friends had
been out allegedly playing baseball in the old soldiers’ home field. One of the
boys had brought along several packages of cigarettes and of course they were
all going to have a try. It wasn’t the smoking that upset everyone. It was the
fact that by carelessly dropping one of the smoldering cigarettes, they had
started a grass fire in the dry underbrush. A grass fire that came close to
threatening the riding stable barn. Passing motorists saw them running away and
reported the whole thing to the police. Poor Jack had to go down to the police
station to collect the boy. Apparently Patrick and Jack had quite a shouting
match when they got home. This is the one child that does not seem to show the
same respect for his parents as his siblings. It’s not that he is a bad person,
but that rather he wants to live life his own way. And at age thirteen it just
doesn’t work. When Rose and I ended the conversation, I could hear in her voice
how tired and disgusted she was. She told me that even Jack at his wildest
could not hold a candle to the shenanigans of Patrick and the harmless pranks
that Frank used to play were nothing compared to this child. Never having
experienced something like this, I could only listen and offer her the hope
that maybe he would grow out of it. When I hung up the phone, I realized how
old I must sound to my daughter and slightly out of touch. Staying at home all
day in this big house and caring for Arthur makes me long for the life we had
several years ago.
September 2, 1939
Will the insanity in the world never stop?
Yesterday the German army invaded Poland and chaos has once more broken out in
Europe. There are bombings and killings and I believe that once again those
countries will be at war. It is frightening because now the weapons are more
powerful and the anger that has smoldered since 1918 is ready for revenge. Rose
mentioned that in Paris they had heard unsettling rumors about this very
possibility. And now it has come to pass. For right now it looks like there is
no reason that America would be involved. But if Germany were to win and
conquer the European countries, it would certainly change the world.
Thanksgiving, 1939
I think that in all of my memories this
year’s celebration will somehow always stand out in my memory as something
truly special. For one thing, Arthur was not only looking like his old self,
but feeling so much better, too. Whether he has made a miraculous recovery or
he willed himself to strength, I don’t know. I can only say that I never
thought it possible. He even went into the kitchen and poured the glasses of
eggnog for everyone. I had to smile when I saw him pour a touch of brandy into
his glass and Jack’s and sprinkle a little nutmeg on the top. His blue eyes shone
with pleasure, as, for the first time in several years, he was able to
participate fully with the family. All of the children were present for the
holiday for the first time in many years. There was laughter and noise filling
Rose and Jack’s house. Rose did not care that glasses, dishes, game pieces, and
the other litter made by an exuberant group of houseguests were strewn all
over, both upstairs and down. She looked absolutely radiant today and her
forty-four years rested lightly on her face. In fact she and the twins looked
more like sisters than mother and daughters. It was no wonder that everyone was
feeling ecstatic and wonderful. This afternoon at dinner several very special
announcements were made. Frank and Marjorie announced that she was safely into
her third month of pregnancy and that everything looked good this time. I had
been correct to suspect that she had been pregnant at the time of Frank’s
graduation last May, but it was not to be and she miscarried only a few weeks
later. The doctor told her that from here on in everything should go smoothly.
Of course all of us shared in their joy and silently said a prayer that by May
or early June they would be parents. We had all wondered why Cora had been so
insistent on inviting her friend Matthew O’Connor to this year’s family dinner.
Usually it is only family that comes since there are now so many of us. To the
best of our knowledge Cora and Matthew had been "just friends" for
the past four years. They worked together at Warm Springs. However, Cora was up
in Atlanta and Matthew lived in on the grounds at Warm Springs. Their courtship
for whatever reason was a carefully kept secret. Tonight however as they
announced their engagement, their faces were full of happiness and hope. Cora
even momentarily forgot her cane and in her excitement managed a little dance
of joy with Matthew’s help. His polio affects him hardly at all now, but still
he understands what she went through more than anyone else could. After dinner
when we were sitting around the living room listening to the football game, I
noticed that Edy and Nils were poking each other, whispering back and forth
"you tell" or "no, you tell." Finally Arthur spoke up and
asked them to "tell us what?" Nils explained that just before coming
down for Thanksgiving they had found out that Edy also was pregnant, just
barely, but sure enough that they got up the courage to share their news, too.
Sometime in June they expect to be parents. I saw Rose roll her eyes, thinking
that she was going to have her hands full with two new babies in different
parts of the country. I noticed that Jack had a look of quiet satisfaction on
his face. Surely the thought of their family multiplying brings only joy to his
heart, particularly when he watched Edy and Nils make their announcement. I saw
him raise his eyes to the sky and lift his forehead. A sure sign that he was
communicating the news to someone who was not with us. After awhile we all
gathered around the piano and sang some of the old Thanksgiving songs,
"Come Ye Thankful People Come" and the other Thanksgiving hymn,
"We gather together." And then the holiday was over. Molly announced
that she had an early train to Chicago and needed to pack. I knew that Arthur
and I needed to get home before we both got too tired. In this time of unrest
in the world, I feel truly blessed that we could all be together. Who knows
what the future might bring? Certainly there will be two new little babies at
next year’s celebration. I only hope and pray that all the rest of us will be
there, too.