*_Finding Hope_*

The next month seemed to flow a lot easier, I talked to Kevin again, we worked out our differences, and then I went to my mom’s place and apologized for how I was to her. It seems as if everything has taken its place and life made a turn for the better. Sarah has finally gotten all the loose ends tied up, and she is moved into her apartment and living comfortably. All the guys have gotten use to her, and have finally accepted our relationship, Brian even told me to keep a strong hold on her. It seems like everything is going smoothly.

“Hey Alex!” I heard Sarah’s voice as she came into my house. She comes walking into the kitchen where I am standing, making myself some lunch. “What are you up to?”

“Ah…about five nine now.” I smile at her as she rolls her eyes at my stupid comment. “I was thinking about what we could do tonight, and well, I thought it would be fun to get together with all the guys and head out to a dance club. What do ya think?”

Her eyes are focused on the large clock on the wall; it says 12:21 on it. “Well, um, I actually have plans tonight. I’m going out with an old friend.” She simply says to me. She walks over to the fridge, opens it, and grabs a bottle of Pepsi. “Why don’t you just go out with them, I am sure they won’t miss me.”

“Yeah, well I just thought that we could have some fun together with the guys. It just seems like we haven’t done anything together lately. Who’s this ‘old friend’ you’re heading out with, anyways?” I take her attention away from the clock as I slowly move my hands around her waist.

“Just a friend, you don’t know him.” She moves out of my arms, and turns to face me. “Why do you care?” she flashes an innocent smile as she puts her arms around me after I give her a confused look.

“Well, I don’t know. I just thought it would be nice to know this person that you have plans with. Plus, maybe I do know them, I know a lot of people around here.” I put my hands back on her and bring her in for a kiss, however she breaks the moment by saying:

“Are you keeping tabs on me or what? It seems like every time I go and do something without you, I always have to answer twenty-one questions about what I’m doing or who I’m going with.” She takes a step back and looks up into my eyes, waiting for an answer.

I flash a smile at her and laugh. I guess that wasn’t an appropriate answer, because she then gave me ‘the look’ so I chose my words carefully, knowing now that she wasn’t joking. “No, I…um…I just wanted to know the name of your friend. I trust you, honey. I really do, it’s just that I like to know what’s going on in your life sometimes, that’s all.” I tried to look her in the eyes as I spoke “I love you Sarah.”

She looks down at the floor and says again, “You don’t know him. He isn’t from around here. Can we just leave it at that?” I pull her back into my arms to hold her for a moment.

I don’t understand why she got so protective about her plans tonight, but I pushed the thought from my mind and said, “ Ok…So when do these plans of yours start, because I was thinking that we could go to town for awhile, like we used to.”

She looked up at me with her beautiful green eyes, as if trying to solve a riddle. I guess she didn’t like that idea because she avoided it by saying, “I think your burning your eggs.” Then she pulled away from me and sat down in the living room on the large leather couch. I retrieved the eggs from the hot burner, put them on a plate and joined her on the couch.

“Sarah, is there something brothering you?” I placed my hand on her leg, trying to get her to talk to me, but she just smiled and turned on the television. She flipped through the channels until she came to MTV, which was playing Sisqo’s ‘Thong Song’ video. She always told me how much she liked Sisqo, and how she would give the world to meet him someday. I always intended to arrange that for her; however I can’t stand the man, so basically I was intending to do nothing but think about how much she would love me after I did it. “Sarah, why are you not talking to me?”

“I am talking to you, but I am enjoying Sisqo’s new video right now. You know how I get when it comes to Sisqo, nothing else matters until he is gone.” She smiles, and then turns her attention back to the television.

The song is almost as annoying as he is, so I decide to get up and leave the room until it is over with. I walk back to the kitchen, put my plate and silverware in the dishwasher and pick up the “Rollin’ Stones” magazine that I was reading early this morning. There is an article about Cyndi Lauper with great photos of her, so I start reading about the sexy woman. The video must have ended, because Sarah slowly made her way to the kitchen.

“Are you mad at me now or what?” she pulled the magazine from my hand and set it on the table. “I hate when you read that trash, it just gives you more shit to talk about with the guys.”

“Yeah, what’s your point?” I pick up the magazine, fix its cover, and then neatly put it back in the draw that it was in. “I’m not mad at you, I’m just concerned. You seemed to be really busy lately, with these people that I don’t know, and I’m sure I don’t want to know.”

“I don’t think you realize Alex, that I did have friends before I moved here with you! Why do you make such a big deal about that? Can’t I spend time with people other then you?” she yells at me. Today must not be her day, because she obviously isn’t very happy with where it is going.

“I never said anything about that, what I meant was that you seem uptight lately and I just wanted to know if you wanted to talk to me about it. You don’t have to get mad at me for being concerned!” I try not to yell back, but the fact that it feels like she is screwing around with these people, moreover, MEN that I don’t know is just about enough to make me burst.

“Whatever, I can’t stand to talk to you like this. I’m leaving; Shawn will be at my house anytime now. He will actually listen to what I’m saying to him!” She storms out the door towards her car. I let her go, because I know that if I would go after her, it would probably make matters worse.

The entire day was ruined after that, I was so angry with Sarah that I couldn’t even think straight. First I went for a long drive trying to clear my mind, then I went to my mom’s to see if she was home, but her house was dark and locked up tight, so I decided to come home and handle my troubles by myself. I was about to open the door to the bar when I heard Howie come in the house.

“Yo AJ! Where you at?” His voice seemed to glide in from the hall.

“I’m in here. What’s going on?” I reply to him, as he follows my voice into the living room. “I thought you were at Shannon’s house for the night?” I quickly closed the door on the bar and locked it as Howie entered the room.

“Well…um…I was with Shannon, but we were at the Jungle, not her house.” He shyly said to me as he made himself comfortable on the large leather chair. “But that is not what I came to talk to you about.” His voice seemed to have a tone of sadness in it.

“What’s going on? Did Shannon break your heart again?” I think back to the last time he came to me after he found out that Shannon was playing him, he was so upset that he could barely breathe.

“No, it’s not about Shannon, she and I are fine. It’s about whom I saw at the club…” it seemed as if he was trying to pick his words carefully, because he took a moment to breathe before he continued. “I saw Sarah with another guy.”

“Oh, yeah. I know, she told me that she was going out with an old friend of hers. I questioned her about him early today, but that whole conversation just ended up being a huge fight. I’m still mad at how she blew up at me over a few questions. But I’ll get over it, and everything will be fine.” It feels good to talk to someone about the fight; it’s a good reminder to myself about how much Sarah loves me.

Howie seemed to get tenser after I said that, he looked away from me, struggling to find his voice. I began to wonder what he would have saw that would have made him leave his date with Shannon to come here and talk to me. He finally found his courage and blurted out “AJ, this guy wasn’t just an ‘old friend’. They were making out, seriously making out like two people who were either madly in love or looking for some cheap, satisfying sex.”

Those words cut me like a knife, because along with those words came images of some man groping my girlfriend, treating her like his own. “What the fuck are you talking about Howie? Are you trying to tell me, that Sarah is probably getting screwed by some bastard right now?” More terrible images flowed into my mind, as I tried to keep calm.

“AJ, don’t get mad at me. I just thought that the right thing to do was to come tell you immediately, so you didn’t find out by walking in on her, or something like that.” Howie’s innocence’s made me sick, because I knew he was telling me the truth. “AJ? Are you all right? Say something AJ!” Howie’s voice echoed in my head, but I couldn’t say anything, I felt sick, angry and depressed all at the same time.

I stood up and began to walk to the door; the only thought in my mind was to kick the bastard’s ass for touching my girlfriend in such a way that made Howie come here tonight. I felt Howie grab my arm and say something to me, but nothing made sense to me anymore. I only felt the tug that was pulling me out the door and to the driver’s seat of my F350, black, diesel truck. I saw a blur of Howie as he climbed in the passenger seat beside me. I started the engine and before I knew it, I was heading in the direction of the Jungle. Howie kept saying something to me, but I still didn’t understand what he was saying, nor did I care. There was only one thing that mattered, one thought on my mind, and that was to figure out all of Sarah’s secrets, in one night.