*_Finding Hope_*

It’s been about a week since the fight with Kevin, but he is still angry with me. I tried to talk to him, but everything I say seems to pass him by, not affecting his mood towards me one bit. Today, he seemed to walk right through me, as if I wasn’t there. I didn’t know what to think, what to say, there was only one thing I wanted to do, and that was to leave.

I went downtown to the “Jungle” and found a crowd of people who didn’t ask questions, they just liked to party. I found a pretty girl named Sammy, and asked her to dance. She seemed to find something she liked when she looked me up and down, because she moved her body close to mine as we danced to the music. The place was crowded but I didn’t care, the music was loud, the lights where flashing every color of the rainbow and the bartender had a way to make the drinks fast.

“So what’s your name baby?” Sammy asked me in a sexy voice. She was enjoying the music for a while but then took me by the hand and started walking.

“People call me AJ. Do you come here a lot?” I asked her as she weaved me through the people to the bar.

“Yeah, it plays the best music and the people are a lot hotter then anywhere else in town. You prove that.” She smiled at me, “Will you buy me a drink, baby?”

“Sure, what would you like?” I look up at the bar and decide what I want.

“Umm...” her hands go up my shirt. “You look good.”

I laugh at her clever reply, “I was talking about what kind of drink you want.” I allow her hand to continue to move a crossed my chest. She giggles, and replies.

“Oh, a drink? How about a Pina Colada? And then you for desert?” Her hand begins to move down my chest to the band of my jeans, tempting to go further.

“I’ll think about that.” I say to her, as I remove her hand from its inappropriate place on my body. Then I flag down the bartender and order her Pina Colada and for myself, a Tequila with lime. “So, are you always this frisky or am I just special?” I look back at her. She has bleach blonde hair twisted into curls, and ice blue eyes that say exactly where she wants to end up tonight.

“Oh baby, you tease me. I knew that I had to have you the moment I saw you walk through that door. But lets not get ahead of ourselves here, I’d like to party some more before I get to know you all too well.” She takes my hand and plays with my fingers.

Our drinks finally come, and before too long I forget about how I promised Brian that I would get up early to go help him pick up his new car. Sammy enjoyed dancing a lot, and so we danced the night away, first on the dance floor, then under the sheets of a motel bed.

I woke up the next morning to an empty motel room and my cell phone ringing. My head is spinning as I climb out of bed to answer my phone.

“Hello?” I say into the phone.

“AJ? AJ, is that you?” I hear Brian’s voice on the other end of the line. “Where are you? I have been trying to find you for the last half hour. Did you forget your promise?”

“What?” My head is spinning to bad to be able to focus on what he is saying to me. I found standing to be difficult so I sit on the carpeted floor of the old motel room.

“You said yesterday that you would come with me to get my new car. No, wait…You PROMISED me that you would. Where are you man?” He is upset, that much I can tell.

“Urmm…I am at my house.” I lie.

“Oh really? That’s funny, because I am at your house too, and you don’t seem to be anywhere in sight.” His remark is full of sorrow. “Don’t lie to me J, where are you?”

“In a motel room.” I say quietly.

“That’s real nice, J. Real nice. I am glad you enjoyed your night, because you have ruined my morning. I am going to call Nick, like I should’ve done a LONG time ago, at least I can trust him.” Its one of the first times I have ever heard Brian mad. I tried to say something to make up for what I did, but all I heard was the busy signal of the phone after he hung up.

“Shit…” I say to myself. I look at the clock, 10:30. Almost three hours past the time I told him I would be at his house. I get up off the floor, pick up my clothes and get dressed. As I pull my beater over my head, I smell smoke and cheap perfume on it. The only thing I can remember is going to the Jungle, nothing else comes to mind. I shake my head clear of all thoughts, and walk out of the motel room. I go to the parking lot, looking for my truck, which is nowhere to be found. “Prefect…” I say to myself. “Just perfect.”

I go and sit on a bench under a tree, trying to remember where I parked my truck. But nothing comes to mind, I can’t even remember how I got to the motel, and the only hint of why I am here, is the cheap perfume. After sitting there for a while I finally give up trying to remember, I decide that I better call someone to come and get me. Howie was the first one who came to mind, but after calling his house twice, I decided I better find someone else.

“Lets see, Brian is pissed, Kevin is pissed, Nick is with Brian…and Howie is not home.” I mutter, I look at my phone for a moment before I dial the only other person I trust.

“Hello?” Her voice is full of energy.

“Hey mom.” I feel stupid calling her for such a reason, “Can I ask you a favor?”

“I figured you would be calling here. Where are you?” Her voice lost its pep, but not it’s love.

I look up at the scummy motel sign written in yellow and black, “Urmmm…….Motel Eight….could you come get me?” I say shyly. What a great place to be asking your mother to come pick you up from. I am sure Brian had called her already this morning, and told her that I was nowhere to be found, and I am sure she knew the reason why I am here, calling her for a ride.

“Yes, I am on my way.” Her words are cold, and final. She hung up the phone after her last word, not even waiting for a reply.

It took about a half hour for her to come, but she did come like she said. When I got in the car, she just sat and stared at me, as if I was an alien from outer space. “Alex, what where you thinking? You promised Brian that you would be there for him. Of all people, you chose to hurt Brian by breaking that promise. Then you hurt me, by just the way you look and smell. Kevin is deeply scarred from your irresponsible actions in the last month, from showing up late for practice to skipping out on large events. I don’t understand what is going on here, Alex. You lie to the guys, you lie to me, and you even lie to yourself!”

“Mom, I never meant to break that promise to Brian. I had every intention of getting up and going with him.” I try to defend myself. “

No Alex, no you didn’t. Because if you would have had those intentions, you would have never, ever, went out and ended up in a place like this!” She points towards the motel. “I don’t even know why I came out here to get you, you don’t even deserve that much gratitude.” Her eyes fill up with tears.

“Mom, please don’t cry. I am sorry, I really didn’t mean for it to go this far, it just got out of hand.” I reach out to touch her, but she pulls away from me. She puts the car in drive and doesn’t say another word.