*_Finding Hope_*

It has been two weeks since I have heard or seen Alex. At first I didn’t try to worry too much, because it didn’t do any good. But after Howie told me how upset Alex was that morning, I couldn’t help but worry day in and day out. I went to his house only to find it dark and empty, as I walked in and looked around, I felt as if he has never been here. It looked as if no one was allowed to live here, because everything looked like it has to stay exactly where it was placed.

I close the door tightly behind me as I look out across his lawn. That is when I see it; his cell phone laying in the green grass. I pick it up to find that every message I left was still on it, never to be heard by him. Apparently that is want he wanted by the looks of it, he would never be so careless of his cell phone, unless he didn’t want any connection to the outside world. Just by thinking about him throwing our only connection to him out the window makes me realize that there is something really wrong. What if he never comes back…what if he has taken his own life? That severe thought makes me sick, and I fall to the ground. I can’t stand it anymore, I know I am suppose to be the strong one now, because he has fallen down, but I can’t do it. The tears begin to flow down my face as I sit there on his lawn, holding his cell phone in my hand. Just then I hear a car pull into the drive, and I look up to see Howie and Nick running towards me.

“Denise, are you alright?” Howie reaches me first, looking down at me. “What happened? Did you find him?”

I want to answer him but I can’t find my voice, so instead I just show him the cell phone. Nick comes to sit beside me and takes the cell from my hand. He hands it to Howie, then puts his arms around me to try and ease my heavy sobs. “He would never leave that behind.” I quietly say as I lean on Nick’s strong shoulder.

“Come on Denise, let’s go back to your house. Maybe he left a message there for you.” Howie’s voice is trembling as he speaks. But as I look into his eyes, I see that they are still full of hope and love. “We’ll figure this out together, right Nick?”

“Yeah, three heads are better then one.” Nick helps me stand up and puts his arm around me as we walk back to the vehicles sitting in Alex’s driveway. “We can sit down at your place and go over every place that he could be staying. I am sure we will figure out where he is.”

“Yes, you are right. Three heads are better then one, and we will find him.” I smile slightly at Nick and Howie, “You guys are such great friends. But where is Kevin and Brian?” The last I heard about Kevin is that he was still upset with Alex, but I knew that wouldn’t last long.

“They went to Bob’s house to see if he knew anything. We made a plan to meet back at your place, I hope you don’t mind.” Howie flashes one of his innocent smiles at me, and all I can do it shake my head. I don’t know why Alex would go to Bob’s house, he has never liked the man after everything that happened, and he said that he would never call him “dad”. However, I guess it is a good place to start, just because he would think that I would never think to go there. “Do you want Nick to drive?” Howie’s voice cuts into my thoughts about Alex and my ex husband.

“Drive? What…Oh yes, that would be nice.” I hand Nick my car keys, the keys that I stole from Alex. I think back to how happy he was during that time and once again I can’t stand it. Thankfully Nick was still holding me or else I would have went back to sitting on the green grass. “I am sorry, I just can’t handle all of this stress. I just need to sit down.” I say slowly.

“It’s ok, I got you. Let’s walk to the car, and you can sit down in there, ok?” Nick’s voice is soft, as he basically carries me to the red convertible. “Everything will be ok Denise, I promise.” Howie opens the car door, and then stands back so that I can get in the car. My entire body feels numb as I try to relax in the seat, but I just can’t get my mind off of that day with Alex.

“Ok, I will meet you guys back at your house. There is one place that I want to look before I come though. Nick take care of her while I am gone, ok?” Howie seems to have taken charge of this situation, in which I am thankful for. Nick just follows lead and agrees with Howie. As I sit there watching them converse about what to do, I wonder why Alex ran away from such great friends. They have been spending their days looking for him and checking up on me, always making sure to tell me that everything will be fine.

After a moment of whispering to each other, Nick finally nods his head and gets in the car. “Wow Denise, this car is really nice. I wish I could drive in more often. However I think I might have to fix the seat, unless you think that I am talented enough to drive with my knees.” Nick smiles at me as I shake my head. “Ok, lets see if I can get this bad boy out of the driveway.”

“Nick, fix the seat. I don’t feel like dying today, I still have so much I need to do.” I smile slightly as I look at him. I don’t think his legs even fit under the steering wheel. “Its on the side of the seat.”

He fiddles around with the seat and steering wheel until he fits comfortably, and then says, “Alright, now we can go. Hey, do you have any of your world famous cookies at your place? Please say yes…”

“Nick, do you really think I wouldn’t?” I laugh at him as he does a little dance, while trying to drive. He has always been able to make me smile even during times like this, which helps me relax and think clearly. “Thank you Nick, for everything you have done. It feels good to laugh.”

“Well I am glad I can help.” He simply says to me as we pull into the driveway of my house. “Hey, did you leave your lights on?” He looks at me, a little concerned.

“Um, I don’t think I did. But I am pretty sure I locked the door.” I look at the lights that I shining brightly from my house. “There isn’t any cars or anything. Maybe I did leave them on…let’s go in and see if anyone is there.”