*_Finding Hope_*

Thousands of fans were screaming as I called her to the stage, so many were wondering what was happening, but she was the only one who would leave the concert as happy as me. I don’t know her name, I can’t see her face, but for some strange sensation I get a strong feeling of pride and love when she comes to stand face to face with me. Without a doubt in my mind, I bring out the small black box, I look at her, and say those words every woman loves to hear……

“Alex! Yo Alex, are you here?” Howie comes banging on my bedroom door, “Wake up man, it’s time to get your ass out of bed!”

“Yeah, I’m awake, not decent, but awake.” I yell to him. I sit up in my bed, wipe the sleep from my eyes and try to get my head into focus. “It was a dream,” I say to myself. I get up and go to my closet, pull out my favorite jeans with the holes in the knees and get dressed. I can hear Howie moving around in the kitchen, probably digging for food like normal.

I stumble out to the kitchen because my head feels as if twenty trains are running through it at the same time. Howie is where I figured he would be, searching in the large stainless steel fridge. The kitchen is a mess, with dishes lying in a pile, next to some food that has been sitting out for who knows how long. The large wooden table is buried under piles of more stuff, from clothes to half eaten pizza.

“Yo man, you look…. no offence…but you look like shit! Did you have a rough night or what?” Howie’s voice drifts out from behind the fridge door. “And where do your keep your jam?”

“It’s in there somewhere, and I just had a long night. I had that dream again, but this time I pulled out a box and was about to say something, before you started to yell at me.” I go to the medicine cabinet, pull out the Tylenol, and take two with a big glass of water.

“Huh, did you get to see her face this time?” Howie looks up over the door with interest.

“No, I couldn’t even make out what color her hair was. This is so stupid, why am I wasting my time fussing over a dream. A dream, that is all it was!” I mutter, as I finish off the water, then go and pull on my Doc Martins. “Are you ready, or are you not finished cleaning out my fridge?” I ask Howie, all I want to do is get this practice over with so I can go back to bed.

“Hey, lets not forget who had to pull who out of bed here, ok?” Howie jokes. “Let’s go, before Kevin decides to come beat both our asses for being late.”

I grab my sunglasses and put them on before heading out the door to Howie’s shinny, red Corvette. We pull out of the drive, and head downtown, to the Civic Center, where the rest of the guys are waiting. Howie’s radio is blaring, like usual, but today I can’t stand the heavy beat, thus I turn it off so I can relax my pounding head. We stop at a stoplight and Howie turns toward me.

“Are you alright man?” he looks at me with a concerned _expression on his face. He has always been the one I have felt closest to among all the guys, and just because of the concern he shows, I know exactly why.

“Yeah, I am fine. I just have a headache, I’ll get over it.” I say looking past his face at the girl in the sliver car next to us. She smiles a cute smile in my direction, and I can’t help but give a sweet smile back.

“Man, can ya just once pass a pretty girl without having to check out her inventory?” Howie smirks at me as he turns into the drive of the center. He parks next to Nick’s blue, F350 truck. “Come on, let’s get this show on the road.” Howie jumps out of the car and is halfway to the door, before I am even out of the car.

I can hear people talking, hangers clanging and music playing quietly as I enter the large, brick building. I walk down the long, bright hallway towards the voices, entering the large practice room that is filled with people busying themselves with work. I continue through the room, past the make-up counter and clothing racks until I come to the large mock stage set up for us to perform on. I find all the guys standing to the right of the mock stage, Nick is telling another one of his many stories.

“Then I look at the guy and I say ‘Yo man, he was in my face!’…Hey J, its about time you decide to show up, we have been wondering if you got lost in some chick’s bed again.” Nick smiles at me as I near them. He is wearing a white beater and black broad shorts, with a white do-rag tied around his head, keeping his blonde locks from his face.

“Nah, I just over slept.” I say matter-of-factly. “Did I miss anything good?”

“Not really, Nick was just telling another tale about getting kicked out of another club.” Brian says, joking with Nick. Nick pushes him playfully, and soon they are both laughing at something they apparently found to be extremely funny.

“This is the third time this week, AJ. Are we ever going to be able to rely on you to get here on time?” It seems as if Kevin isn’t willing to joke around, he looks at me waiting for me to say something.

“Does it matter? I am here now, so let’s get this over with.” I look him straight in the eye. Even though Kevin is the ‘big brother’ of the group, I am not willing to listen to him give another speech about being late for early practice.

“I don’t think you understand that practice started an hour ago, AJ. We have wasted a whole hour waiting for you to get here. I finally had to send Howie to go get you, because if I would’ve went I would’ve kicked your ass out of bed.” Kevin snaps back at me. “So don’t give me that act like it doesn’t matter. Because, thanks to you, we are staying an extra hour and a half to make up for lost time.”

“Shit man, an hour and a half? I promised Shannon I would come over to help her clean out her car.” Howie argues with Kevin, “Can’t we just let it go? Its not like we don’t know what we’re doing on stage!”

“No!” the single word stops all movement in the room; Kevin walks to the mock stage and takes his place. Then looks at the rest of us, and we all follow lead. The music begins for “Larger Then Life” and we start to dance.