*_Finding Hope _*I knew it wasn’t going to be a good morning when I watched Alex come walking in an hour late. Kevin’s voice carried throughout the entire building when he answered Howie’s innocent question, I could tell he was mad, but his strict reply came as a surprise for all of us in the room. I sat in the dark corner of the room and watched them go through the routine over and over again until it was perfect. Now usually that doesn’t take the entire practice to do, but today was different. Today, it seemed as if Alex didn’t care at all, and because of that, the rest of the guys lost their patients. Even though they never said a word to Alex, I could tell none of them were very happy with him, especially Kevin. “AJ, are you even trying to get this down?” Kevin yelled. They did it one more time before Kevin gave up completely on Alex. “That’s it! It’s over….I can’t stand to put the rest of you through this, just because AJ apparently doesn’t give a shit about trying to do it right. Practice is over with.” After that said, Kevin stormed off stage towards the doors. The rest of the guys looked a little worried, but hustled out the doors. I stopped Alex before he left. “What is going on Alex?” I say to him. I see him tense up; he obviously didn’t know I was here, watching the entire show he put on. “What are you doing here? I thought you were going shopping with Mandy today?” he asked, trying to lighten the subject. “I was, before Kevin called looking for you. I decided that I wanted to talk to you about your irresponsible actions that you’ve been caught up in doing lately.” I look him in the eyes, searching for the man I knew he could be. But instead I found his eyes were clouded over with despair, and he wasn’t going to let me in to see what was causing it. His reply proved my thoughts to be correct, “There is nothing going on. I just over slept, and I don’t feel the best, ok? So just stop worrying, I can take care of myself, you should know that by now.” He starts to turn around, so to get his attention I snap at him. “Don’t you dare turn your back on me! I know that there is something wrong, and god help me, if I have to move in with you to figure it out, mark my words, I will!” He turned back around, almost furious because of how I snapped at him. “Look, I don’t need your help, I don’t need for you to worry, and trust me the last thing I need is you breathing down my back! So if you’ll excuse me, I am gonna find Howie so I can go home!” “Howie left. I told him that I would take you home. I just wanted to know what is wrong Alex, I want you to be the man I know you can be, to be happy again. So please Alex, don’t push me out.” I move towards him, trying to give him comfort. “Who says I am pushing you out? I just don’t want you to get all wrapped up in concern over one stupid fight I had with Kevin. I just want to go home, by myself, and lay down until my head stops pounding, is that too much to ask?” He looks at me, with those big chocolate brown eyes that could melt anyone’s heart. “Please, stop worrying. I am fine, ok?” I stand looking at him for a moment before I say, “Ok, I’ll take you home. You can lie down and I will make you some chicken soup, that will help you feel better. Does that sound good to you?” “Yeah, that sounds great.” His voice was loving, but I still got a shiver of cold. He didn’t talk the whole ride home, even when I tried to strike up a conversation, he would just reply to end it. As I entered his house, I could barely stand to breathe. The whole house smelled of an awful stench that I couldn’t even describe. He seemed not to notice it as he walked towards his bedroom and closed the door swiftly behind him. The first thought that crossed my mind was to find the Pine Sol and clean the entire house from top to bottom. I walked to the sink and found everything I needed to start my task. It took about two hours to do, but after I was finished the house looked a hundred times better and smelled a thousand times better. “There, now I can start making that soup I promised” I say to myself as I finish up the kitchen floor. “What are you doing?” his voice comes from behind me, “I thought you were just going to make me soup and then leave?” “Well I couldn’t stand the house in the state it was in, so I cleaned it for you. Are you complaining?” I stand up and look at him. He looks a lot better then he did this morning, but I know that he needs more then just sleep to make him better. He smiles at me, “No, not at all. I just figured you had better things to do, then to clean my house. Thank you.” He comes to give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “But….I only smell Pine Sol…what about the soup you promised?” “Well…. cleaning your house was the top thing on my list. I haven’t started the soup yet. I’ll start it now.” I say smiling back at him, “And you can go brush your teeth. Your breath is horrible.” I go to the fridge and pull out everything I need to make the soup. “Honey, don’t you have any carrots?” I ask, still digging in his fridge, in case I just over looked them. “Urmm…. I don’t know. It’s not the first thing that I wonder about each day.” He jokes as he comes walking out of the bathroom. “Gee, carrots, do I have any carrots?” he does his best impression of Bugs Bunny, in which I can’t help but laugh. “Well, I can’t find any, so I am going with a no on that.” I close the fridge and face him. His eyes are still clouded over, and it hurts to look at him. “Why don’t you go to the store and get some while I start making the broth.” “Alright, is there anything else you need?” he grabs his keys off the hook by the door and looks back at me.
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