1/29/05
Dear Diary,
Today is my first official day being twenty-five, and for some reason I thought it would be a lot different. I thought I would be with the one I really cared about for the last two years, but I'm not and it was my entirely fault. If hadn't been so full of my self and went along with everyone else, she would be with right now and would have been with me on my birthday. I mean don't get me wrong, I really enjoyed my party everyone did an awesome job setting it and all but there was just something missing and that was Jackie.
Carla said she had stopped by Jackie's apartment that morning to ask her to come to the party. Jackie said she was too busy but she would try to stop by. Carla told me that Jackie had received the flowers, I left on doorstep. Jackie had placed them on the mantle right next her favorite picture of us. After I was told that I was happy for just hat moment, I realized that there was hope for us. If I would just give her time then maybe she would come back to me and know that it wasn't totally my fault. There was still hope only time will tell.
I bet your wondering what Jackie left for me as a gift? It was a signed basketball from the Orlando Magics w/5 tickets to the NBA Championship. I was just hoping that she would have brought it to me instead she had it delivered. Which Brian brought up immediately to my room. I opened it put it down and mentioned to Brian who got it for me. I was so hurt and angery that throw something against the wall. It just tore me part I was almost certain that she still love me but I still was very angry and hurt. I left for a few hours, came back and got ready for the party.
As the party went on the hours and minutes ticked away in my head. I was hoping and praying that Jackie would appear at my doorstep. But that did not happen and the party was almost over only thing left was the cake and us going to the Pier. When blew my candles out, everyone knew what I was wishing for, I opened his eyes looked around and didn't see Jackie. Carla, Leigh & Kris noticed the hurt and tears in my eyes and hugged me. That was the night knew that I was truly in love and missed Jackie. I had true feelings for her and it was just killing me inside. At that very moment I wasn't very hungry for cake so I just sat on my balcony staring in to the ocean in tears. Thinking of the good times Jackie and I had while the party ended without me. I looked at my watch and realized that it was time for us to leave for the Pier. I walked after everyone, went to the closet and grabbed my jacket. When I grabbed it I saw one of her sweaters and felt a ache inside of me.